A safe harbor where beliefs are respected and kindness prevails.

A Love Note from the Universe

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A young woman exults the onset of the vivid sunset in french riviera...
A young woman exults the onset of the vivid sunset in french riviera…

Do you ever have those moments, days, weeks or …… where you just doubt yourself?   I do! In the past few years, I have surrounded myself with the Philosophy of Tantric Yoga and with as much of it which I read, study and surround myself in, one would think the self-doubt would go away. What I have come to realize is that it doesn’t just suddenly go away in a puff of smoke, but it takes a consistent effort on our part to clear the smoke from our eyes so we can see ourselves for who we really are— Divine.

I grew up Catholic and I have gleaned many wonderful things from Catholicism but I also carry around all the years of being told that we are not perfect, we are flawed in some way.

“We must work hard to clear our souls from sin and then maybe we will be worthy of Heaven.”

What I took away from Catholicism was Heaven is a future goal and there really is nothing one can do to be completely whole in the earth existence.

OK, maybe I have over simplified the church teachings but in general, religion taught me, to work hard to be forgiven for your sins and that your efforts will be rewarded in the future.

What about NOW?

Yogic philosophy, specifically the Philosophy of Tantra, teaches, we are good and perfect right now because our true nature is a piece of the Divine energy and therefore we are not flawed. The first time I heard that I felt a strong stirring in my being that whispered “Truth”.   Instead of working to be forgiven for being born human, we seek to uncover the Pure Gold that is already inside us. We may need to “work” to uncover our own “Gold”, but it is there waiting to be found. As the sages say,

“That which you are seeking, is also seeking you.”

So why do we hold onto so much self-doubt and loathing? I think of the process of letting go of it as a personal treasure hunt. Something deep inside us “knows” or “feels” that we each have an innate goodness. As creations of the Universe, we are not flawed. We are just looking for the treasure map to find our “S”elf. Along the way we have forgotten to look into the mirror to tell ourselves we are loved and that we are beautiful. We need to remind ourselves daily that we are born with an innate goodness and when it is fostered and nourished, that goodness grows until we truly believe in our own Goodness which allows us to open up to let our life fully blossom. It takes tender and diligent gardening to get this to happen. But it is worthwhile. It is what we are all about—- beauty and love and seeing both in ourselves.

Everyday, instead of dwelling on what is wrong in your life or the world, reflect on what is beautiful. Start with your own heart. There is beauty there—- look deep and see it, feel it and know it.

Recently I was having one of those days, weeks….. of self-doubt with some self loathing mixed in. It didn’t feel good. I was having trouble being my own coach. Then, I got a love note from the Universe. After dinner at a Chinese Restaurant my fortune was just what I needed to remind me, comfort me and build my resolve to keep moving forward.

 Rob

It is the fortune we all need to receive once in a while as a reminder—- so today I offer it to you because it is true- your heart is pure, your mind is clear, your soul devout. Take a deep breath and let the truth of your own beauty and innate goodness sink into your psyche.

Dealing With Loss

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Fotolia_1527412_Subscription_LThere is no easy way to deal with the loss of a family member or close friend. It just plain hurts and feels like it always will. Our family is going through this now and in pondering what I could write that would be helpful to others in this situation, I realized how many different aspects there are to this subject.

First, do you believe in some kind of “afterlife?” A very large part of our population walked away from traditional religion because much of it doesn’t “fit” with modern times. That was true for me when I couldn’t get answers that made sense … such as why native people’s never exposed to my religious teaching would not be admitted to “Heaven”… or even worse, if they were exposed and didn’t choose our version of God, they would go to Hell…where it is really hot and you suffer for the rest of eternity. Huh? But the fear of such consequences is so deep in us that, even if we walked away from our family’s teachings, on some level we are still subject to those beliefs. Most of the time it doesn’t matter what we have chosen to believe…until someone dies. Then, who does one turn to for an understanding of the process?

Many will share words of kindness. That is human nature and that is a lovely aspect of human nature indeed. But that doesn’t help answer questions about where your loved one goes when their spirit leaves the body. For me, even though I did walk away from my family religion, I never stopped searching for answers. There are many of us that have spent our lives doing that, with the sincerity of true seekers. So for all my research, I truly do believe there is an afterlife for the souls of the departed. I believe the soul drops the personality of the life they were living along with the body, and they become the essence of who they are … pure spirit in the process of evolving. I don’t believe that the “other side” is a place where you are rewarded or punished for your life’s deeds. I believe you connect with your soul family there. But how does it “feel” for them.

Next one has to try to understand the difference between the personality and the soul. Wow, that’s a big one, but lets give it a try. The personality is made up of many emotions and opinions…love, hate, passion, fear, joy, anger, revenge, pity, compassion, disappointment, frustration, etc. It is at the level of the personality that beliefs like “An eye for an eye” come from. Now try to image being in a state without such emotions … not emotionless, but rather being in a state of pure positive energy and viewing all human interaction from a higher place, your higher self, and without judgment about the behavior of others … sort of Saint like. That is the soul level in my humble opinion.

Finally, if you can believe that we each have a soul, that there is someplace for that soul to go when you die, a good and comforting place with family there to welcome you, it makes the personal loss of your departed loved one easier to bare. The loss is still real … they are no longer here to talk to, to plan things with, to see on vacations, or to watch grow old along with you. They are just plain gone from your life and the more you loved them, the bigger the hole they leave behind. But if you can consider what I have described above, perhaps at least that is comforting…knowing that they are OK, in fact, they are great. Then let your healing process begin.

I do sincerely hope this is helpful. It is meant to be. So many people are experiencing loss right now, with missing airplanes and sinking boats…tornadoes and mud slides. Their pain is so real but in time most will heal from their loss. I believe what I have written here to be true, not just a “feel good band-aid.” It is the result of a lifetime of study.

Now go out and hug someone you appreciate! It will make you feel better even if you haven’t just lost someone!

Who Do You Listen To?

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Fotolia_29658537_Subscription_XLI read somewhere recently that most of the time that when we think that we are “thinking” we are really just running old tapes…reliving experiences…not really thinking about something new. I thought that was pretty profound information and, when I started to pay attention, I found it to be largely true for me!  So when running those old tapes, who am I listening to? Whoever was around at the time? My parents? My minister? My high school girlfriend? My therapist?

Most likely, it wasn’t ME I was listening to.

This is how we grow up.  We have experiences and then we get feedback from other humans to sort out what to do with our experiences. So we listen to a LOT of other voices in the process of maturing…and…if it is true that we do replay so many ‘past experience’ tapes in our heads, we might still be listening to our 5th grade teacher without even realizing it!

With the world changing as fast as it is, it is important to start tuning into your own higher voice…to start learning HOW to hear your own wisdom instead of the wisdom of other humans who may or may not be any smarter than you…or wiser…just perhaps older?

There are many ways to learn to listen.

  • Meditation is one great way if you can sit and be silent.  Your higher self will send you your own original thoughts, and in time you can learn to hear the difference between your own higher voice and those of other voices from the past.  There are many great teachers to help you learn how to do that.  They say that when the student asks, the teacher will appear.  So that is one option open to you and if you think it might work for you, ask to be directed to the right teacher.
  • Journaling is another way to let your very own thoughts into your conscious mind.  Keep a journal or simple note pad by the bed and when you wake up first thing in the morning, write down your freshest thoughts.  Many people have wonderful original thoughts when they sleep, but if they don’t write them down right away, they can dissolve like the morning mist on the mountain when the sun rises in the sky.
  • My favorite of course is to use some form of divination, like a deck of message cards. When I want some advice from my own personal higher self, I sit calmly, take some deep breaths, center myself, and clearly ask my question.  Then I draw a card and ponder what the answer means to me. In the early days of using the I-Ching, I kept a record of all my questions and all my answers, and what I thought they meant at the time.  Once in a while now I look back at those 40 year old notes and am amazed at how profound the advice was.  At the time I wasn’t sure, but looking back, I am so glad I did that homework.  Now it gives me more faith in my own inner voice, my own higher self.  No one can teach you that.  You just have to put in the time, ask your questions and listen to you answers.

All this assumes that you understand you HAVE a higher self, a soul-voice. The only way to really trust that you do is to make contact and start listening. I can’t convince you, nor should you listen to me about it.  It is something that must be experience to be understood and believed.

It doesn’t matter how old you are or where you are in your life.  There is no time like the present to get started…that is unless your adolescent boyfriend is still in your head telling you that you just aren’t that smart!  Boot him out and get started on your adventure!

You are the only one who can!

Living In Fear? Find Solitude

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Fotolia_6337787_Subscription_LHow many times has someone said to you, “It will be ok” and you smiled because if you didn’t they’d keep talking?   Do you get tired of well-intentioned friends encouraging you with “This too shall pass?”  Do you just want to be left alone to feel what you’re feeling?

There are so many good people who want to help you through whatever you’re going through and you know you can rely on them.  However, when we are at an all time low about our lot in life, all of the words of support and encouragement can fall flat.  I know because I’ve been in some very low places and despite all the good intentions the voice in my head was just saying, “Yeah, right.  You don’t understand.”

If you’re feeling that way I encourage you to go to a place where you can be alone.  You need the time to think for yourself, to feel what is causing you pain and then to decide for yourself what you’ll do now or next.  If you’re around others their voices will drown out your own especially if they are determined to help you.  And right now you need to hear your own voice because it’s the only one you’re going to believe.

In this time of solitude allow yourself to vent out every emotion you have.  You’re safe… no one can hear you and you don’t have to worry about what they might think.

I encourage you to give voice to your worst fears.  Create the scenario in your head about everything that could go wrong.  When Jack was first diagnosed with leukemia and then again with cancer my worst fears were that he would die and I’d be alone, broke and homeless.  None of those things have happened but they were real fears to me.

If you did this with a friend they would be the first to tell you that you’re overreacting… and you are but you don’t need them to make you feel bad about yourself.  (Even if they are trying to help!)

The point of this exercise is to release the fears rather than burying them.  If you try to hide them or avoid them then they are always there and will come out when you need them least.  Instead by exposing your fears to the light you can see them for what they are… figments of your vivid imagination.

The interesting thing about our worst fears is that 93% of the time they never come to fruition.  Knowing that has helped me focus on a differently likelihood.   I’ll bet my life on the lesser outcomes than I’m going to bet on the 7%.   Perhaps you’re thinking that with your luck you’ll fall into the exception range.  That’s your ego talking.  “I’m different, I’m special, I’m the exception to the rule.”  This is not a time to let your ego take over because your ego isn’t your friend… it’s your ego and you need to avoid it like you’re avoiding other people right now.

Once you have vented out your fears, sit, do nothing, and enjoy the release of those emotions.  In that silence you will hear your soul’s voice… the one you’ll believe when it says to you “We’ll get through this.  I have your back.”   Your voice is the only one that matters when you’re dealing with your life.  Everything that comes from your soul comes from a place of love, kindness and respect. And that is what you need to hear right now.   And that is all you need to know.  Therein lies peace.

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