Have you lost someone or something in your life? Is your grief overwhelming and you feel like you’ll never get past it? Are you willing to entertain the belief, just for a moment, that you will get past it? If you are then in that moment I’m going to ask you to just do one thing. Recognize where you are is a just part of your journey. You know in your heart that life goes on and so will you.
If you entertain the thought that your life will go on then you can also realize that right now might be the time you need to wallow in your sorrow. Your sorrow is as much a part of your life’s journey as being happy, excited, inspired or any more positive experience. Let it be what it is… part.
Not the whole, part.
Not the end, a view point.
When you tire of the view you can and will move on.
How do you move on? Let your next step be about what you don’t do instead of what you do. It’s somewhat easier that way. As someone who is learning to live again after Jack’s death here are something things I know if you’ll stop doing you’ll actually allow yourself to move beyond where you are now.
- Stop focusing on your life without. For example there is longevity in my family and when I really am in pain I think about living the next 30 years without Jack. That’s a gut wrenching thought. If instead I shift my thoughts to having 36 great years with him the pain is less intense.
- Stop listening to music that brings you down. “See You Again” by Charlie Puth is a wonderful song that brings me to tears every time. There is an attraction to feeling the pain of this loss but changing the station helps me more.
- Stop spending time with your “misery loves company” friends or friends who want to talk about how great their life is. Instead spend time with friends who make you laugh.
It’s easy to feel the pain. It’s hard to make it stop. It’s simple to choose something that feels just a little bit better and right now that is as good as it needs to be.
With love, Cheryl