I’ve been doing my best to get out and walk every evening. Jack & I use to do that all that time. We’d walk around our neighborhood, holding hands, and we were the cute couple. It breaks my heart to not have my hand in his. But I keep moving… because I know it’s what I need to do for me.
When you find yourself without what use to be your life it really is more than anyone should have to bear. I don’t care if it’s a spouse, a child or a career. When something means so much to you that it hurts to be without it it’s hard to even think about going on… but we do.
Last week I saw a friend for the first time since Jack died. He looked at me and commented about all of the stress being gone from my face. And it is in that I am not longer on an endless heighten alert for fear Jack would fall or not be able to keep his food down. Gone is the stress about what would happen to me without him. It’s painful to be without him but I’m still able to function and care for myself. Because that’s what I do.
Grief and the pain of major life challenges are somethings we all will go through whether we want to or not. And some events are more horrific than others but… as they say… this is life.
You may not have experienced any of this yet.. but when you do I hope you’ll remember this. You will get through it… and yes it will tear at your soul and break your heart… but you will heal. It takes time. And you’re still living so you have that on your side. Allow it all to be as it is then allow yourself to find peace. Because you will.
With love, Cheryl
This last sentence touches my heart. Even in the most difficult days of your life, you still bring love and hope to the rest of us. Thank you Cheryl ! You are amazing. xoxo
“And you’re still living so you have that on your side. Allow it all to be as it is then allow yourself to find peace. Because you will.”
Thanks Joy… It’s hard to be among the living when Jack isn’t. He would say, “It is what it is” and that helped him and me in those last weeks of his life. For me now, “It is what I make it.” I take myself back to that place when I feel sad and lonely and I know I have the power to be happy again.
When my husband of 35 years told me he wanted a divorce, I thought I was going to die and almost did due to the stress of it all. I really do believe that the death of a marriage is far worse than the death of a spouse. May God be with you as I know had it not been for my faith and trust in God I would not be here today. I took my last radiation treatment this past Friday and all I wanted to do was thank God for being with me all the way. He was with me through chemo and radiation every day. We have a great God. He is still in the miracle business.
I am sorry for your loss and pray you discover the blessings in every experience.
Blessings to you for holding the form of love, light, and hope as you travel through this time of painful transition. You are an inspiration, Cheryl. I’m holding you in prayer and love as you “keep moving” through this. Thank you for sharing your heart and experience with us. <3
Thank you dear friend. It is a transition like no other and it’s gut wrenching hard at times but I need the love, light and hope… and as they say the greatest of all is love. Blessings and Love to you Julie!