A safe harbor where beliefs are respected and kindness prevails.

Face Your Fears

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And Claim Your True Calling

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“Creating your life on your own terms is really about allowing for grace through your next transition.”

I woke up in a dreadful fury. The red light on the alarm clock glared at me: 5:30 a.m. A few more minutes of sleep was all I wanted – anything to put off going back to another useless morning meeting.

Does this sound like your average day? It used to be mine.

For many years, I had enjoyed my job, but now it felt more like a prison sentence, and I knew I had to find a way to escape. I decided that I deserved to follow my creative calling. It was time to get real, face my fears, develop a career transition plan, and become the mistress of my own destiny.

I was unconsciously bumping around from one role to the next, one task to the next, seemingly dead inside. It made me ask myself: how had I become numb and cut off from a world filled with abundance and wonder?

What does going through the motions look like? Sometimes it’s hard to recognize when you’re just “bumping around” while you’re still bumping around. You may feel confused, fearful, angry, and scattered. You may distrust your own decisions and feel more worried or anxious than normal. The pain of an uninspired work life lends itself to a reactionary autopilot protection program that only makes things worse. Living on perpetual autopilot does not serve anybody well.

One big red flag for change is that you’ve been putting your life on hold. Are you waiting for your tenth anniversary watch/clock/golf clubs before moving on? Are you putting off having children or taking a life-changing adventure vacation because you “can’t afford” to be away from your desk? If so, ask yourself what you’re really waiting for.

I remember precisely when I realized I was ready to let go of everything and pursue my calling. I was in a meeting with my peers and our newly-appointed general manager. The true purpose of the meeting was lost as a discussion about the future of our sales force suddenly took a nose dive, becoming a mosh pit of ruthless judgments. The experience was awful. I lost my cool while being interrogated by someone with absolutely zero knowledge of sales management and even less compassion for our tenured sales staff. I was trapped in the no-win game of arrogance and corporate garbage, and I experienced a complete emotional meltdown.

At that moment I completely shut down; I looked out the conference room window. Blazing across the sky was an intense, perfect rainbow. I was the only person in the room with this spectacular view, and in that instant, I knew I had to get out of the company to save my soul.

Another sure sign of impending change is the feeling that you must make a difference in the world. The paycheck and the benefits are no longer enough. For me, a major turning point was the realization that selling television commercials does absolutely nothing meaningful for the world. Advertisers spend stacks of cash to promote products like Viagra and Lipitor so the general public can get an erection and eat more cheeseburgers.

Wow!

This wasn’t an easy truth to swallow: I had invested much of my life in the television advertising business, and I loved the game – until I didn’t anymore.

Hey, people change.

In fact, we are all changing every day: evolving, growing, and learning; researching, soul searching, and witnessing our lives. But these are small changes, accomplished over time. If you want to make a big change, begin by focusing on your current scenario. Where are you right now in relation to where you want to be? When your life is more miserable than happy because you no longer fit into the confines of your career, it’s time to a) get a new job, or b) become an entrepreneur.

My internal transition lasted for almost one year. Before I was ready to move forward, I had to have several deep and lengthy conversations with my husband, move around investments, secure a line of credit, negotiate a healthy severance package, and buy a new car. Admittedly, this part of the planning process was uncomfortable for a fly-by-the-seat-of-your-pants woman who’d never thought about money, but I’m glad I went through it. Once those things were out of the way, it freed me up to flesh out the other aspects of my business plan. It’s difficult to dream big if you’re worried about where the groceries are going to come from next week!

In the beginning, my inner critic would berate me with statements like: “How could you walk away from eighteen years of sales and leadership success to do this? Reinventing yourself is a waste of time.” When I heard that voice I would do my best to think, “Nonsense! Cancel! Clear!”

Fear is the biggest saboteur of your auspicious goal to reinvent yourself. Fear can take hold of you and cling like an evil shadow until you decide to take action. The voices in your head that mutter things like, “I can’t,” “I’m afraid,” “I’ll let somebody down,” “I’m not good enough,” or “Don’t quit your day job!” represent pesky negative programming that must be undone. If you don’t address it, you will continue to play on a fear-breeding mental merry-go-round.

When undertaking my own transition, my biggest fear was losing everything I’d created over a lifetime serving the television industry. I had power, money, an exquisite lifestyle and lots of material wealth. How could I chuck the stability to follow my dream? I struggled with severe self-doubt. Was I a fraud? Could I really go it alone?

After thoughtful consideration and soulful conversations with loved ones, moving toward my dreams became my ONLY option. Transformational coaching, writing, voice work and yoga have become the stones that pave my way. Learning to honor my natural rhythm, explore new interests, and inspire others is hugely rewarding.

The process of uncovering your calling and learning to trust in yourself, your passion, and the Universe is like riding a wave of pure, unbridled joy. When the wave crests, you’re suddenly on top of the world – but you might also find a wash of peacefulness tugging at the corner of your lips, the promise of a smile.

Do you have the courage to face your fears and surrender to your true calling?

Better than Gossip

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Fotolia_55241929_Subscription_XXLThere is a certain thrill when you tell someone something shocking about someone else. There is a sense of power, of knowing something the other person doesn’t know. This “thrill” has been around for thousands of years. So why should we give it up now, why should we change?

There are a lot of reasons to learn to control the urge to gossip.

  1. How temporary is that “thrilling’ feeling and how soon is it followed by a feeling of guilt. What if it isn’t true? What if the person who is the object of the gossip finds out about your idle chatter? What if they are hurt by it? Our consciousness has evolved to a point that these subtle feelings can no longer be ignored.       The discomfort they cause you WILL show up eventually, even if you aren’t totally aware of it. Even if you don’t LIKE the person you are talking about, the price you will pay will be in how YOU feel.
  2. Every word we speak has an energy to it. So when you are speaking bad words about someone, you are surrounding yourself with “bad energy.” Your vibration will shift down a notch and you will have less “glow” about you. It isn’t extreme, but why would you allow the downward shift, even if just a few degrees? At some point in your life, hasn’t someone said to you “You are just glowing today.” Think back about how you were feeling at that moment in time. Most of us cannot actually see people’s aura, but most of us have a subtle sense of when someone’s aura is expanded due to happiness, when they seem to be “glowing.”
  3. Other people who are developing an awareness about the down sides of gossip will move away from you. They may change the subject, find an excuse to leave the room, or just not return your next phone call. This would start to isolate you from people who are on their path to grow, to raise their vibration and the vibrations of those around them. Instead, you become a magnet to those who live in that field of emotional drama. THEY will return your phone calls and in fact feed you with MORE gossip about other people…knowing how much you love it!
  4. You become a more trusted advisor. I know people who I can trust with my deepest secrets, and other people who I KNOW can’t wait to get away from me so they can share my secret with everyone they know, elevating their feeling of power in the community. Not that you want to become counselor to the world, but there is a value in being “trustworthy.” I got caught in a gossip ring at a corporate job I had once and the CEO called me in to ask about it. I denied it at first, but then had to confess. I felt that I had dropped down a notch in his eyes. I felt he could no longer trust me as much as he had before this incident. To this day I am embarrassed by my behavior. It was a very maturing incident in my life.
  5. Master Yeshua (Jesus) said it was a bad thing to do. “Do unto other as you would have done unto yourself.” Many Master Teachers on the planet have said the same thing in their own words. No matter your religious or philosophical training, I’ll just bet you can find a similar statement. In fact, I challenge you to look for one and share it with us! If you find something, please send it to me and I will post in my next column.

For the next two weeks, observe yourself and your feelings if an opportunity for gossip comes up. It might be just as simple as a wisecrack about the way someone is dressed at the grocery store, or a really big story about someone you know. First, see if you can restrain yourself. See how that makes you feel. Then if you give in and do it, see how you feel about 15 minutes later.

These are very subtle energies and feelings, but they can be yet another turning point in your life…UP the path, not DOWN the path!

I do hope to hear from you! Write me at voiceofyoursoul@gmail.com

And have a GREAT week!

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