A safe harbor where beliefs are respected and kindness prevails.

Speak From The Heart

by

Speak from the heart

The words we speak, including to ourselves, reveal a lot about us and directly contribute to our own level of happiness. That means our attitudes, beliefs, feelings, and expectations are directly affected by our own words and how we say them

“Expressing words through our heart is an illustration of our soul voice.” Natalie Hennessy

Our words not only communicate what we want others to hear, they have the power to influence and impact the people in our lives. We can use our words to encourage and motivate, just as easily as we can use them to weaken or defeat.

In the Five Mindfulness Teachings world famous Buddhist teacher Thich Nhat Hanh says, “Knowing that words can create happiness or suffering I am committed to speaking truthfully using words that inspire confidence, joy, and hope.” When we speak from the heart, we show that we care about ourselves and the person we are in direct dialogue with.

How do we begin speaking and thinking from the heart?

Choose to speak with love. Making a conscious choice to speak with love, including to ourselves, takes patience and practice. Like a stone begin tossed in a pond, once we begin, the ripples are endless.

Action step 1: Begin with yourself! What does your internal dialogue look like? Often we say things like, “I’m not good enough” or “That was a really stupid thing for me to do”. Recognize what you are saying to yourself and how you say it. Choose to use positive internal dialogue and look at the world that way, too.

Think about and write two positive statements about yourself that you are willing to affirm and act on every day. You are replacing a negative thought you may have had about yourself with a positive one. Your mind can just as easily recognize positives; you may not believe it at first, however, think it often enough and you will believe it and become it! Create your own feel good affirmations.

Action step 2: Practice speaking, with love. Dr. Rick Shaffer, creator of “Extreme Thought Makeover says, “Speak to no one of what displeases you, not even yourself” When in a conversation (including a conversation with yourself) envision every word as if it were coming right through your heart center, gently flowing off the tip of your tongue. See the person you are engaging with through eyes of compassion and kindness. Notice the difference from past conversations and any new patterns that emerge. Write them down. (The written word is so powerful and permanent.)

Action step 3: Complement more than complain. Pay attention to what you say to people. Do you tell your wife/husband/partner what a great job she/he did on dinner? Or your children how much you love being with them after school; how much their mere presence makes you smile? Or your husband/wife/partner how much you appreciate his/her efforts of taking such good care of the family?

Wayne Dyer says, “Change your thoughts, and change your life”. Change your words, change your life and enhance the lives of everyone on your path.

 

Everyday Thanksgiving: Create Habits of daily gratitude

by

Everyday Thanksgiving

“When you are grateful, fear disappears and abundance appears.” Anthony Robbins

It’s that time of year again when we all start thinking of what we are grateful for. Since I was very young I have practiced waking up and falling asleep at night with a ‘thank you’ to LIFE (Spirit, Source, God, Divine). Most of the time my list of gratitude’s is significantly long. However, there are times that I can only mutter, “Thank you for another day – YES! I’m breathing!” These simple acts help me to realize my connection to everything, they help me stay tuned in to more than what is happening around me.

When you are lost, how can you begin living in gratitude?

That’s a big question. Many of us allow our circumstances to block us from seeing the good in our lives. We become so absorbed in the “situation” that we can’t see the light. Sometimes we might have to look a little harder than others because we tend to focus on what we don’t have instead of what we do have.

Create a habit of choosing to see things from a new perspective.

Developing daily habits of gratitude soon becomes our natural state of mind and raises our vibration, which opens our life up to more possibilities. Grateful people are happier people.

Action step 1: For one week, when you wake up in the morning, before you even put your feet on the ground, thank the Universe/God/Spirit/Source (whatever it is for you) and Mother Earth for the breath you take and another day to be here. Close your eyes and send joyful BLISSINGS to yourself, everyone and everything on the planet.

Action step 2: Practice living in gratitude by seeing what’s good, by paying attention to what’s working in your life. With regular practice, gratitude will begin to flow easily and effortlessly through you. Get yourself a notebook, something just for you and create a gratitude journal.  At the top of each page, write the date.  Every night for a week, before going to bed, Count YOUR BLISSINGS by writing down at least 3 actions.

What action are you thankful for?

Example: I’m thankful my son was home to feed the dogs since my meeting ran late.

What thing are you thankful to have.

Example: I’m thankful for the coffee pot and coffee that helps me wake up in the morning!

Who are you thankful for?

Example: My mom, for not stopping at 5 children!

At the end of a week you’ll have over 21 examples of gratitude’s in your own life. Recognize the small things at first: the breath, even if it’s labored (ok, that’s not so small), a sunny day even when it’s cold, a warm coat even if it has holes, or food on the table even if it’s only rice.

Action step 3: Choose a different letter of the alphabet and record everything you are grateful for that begins with that letter. Begin with the letter A.

OR write each letter on a piece of paper, fold it up and place it in a special bowl or sacred cup. Each day, reach in and grab a letter; again, write down everything you are grateful for that begins with that letter.

Focusing on gratitude takes your attention off of the lack or negativity in your life and puts the focus on what’s working, what’s positive and joyful.

 Remember, what we focus on multiplies, thus gratitude raises our vibration to our own place of joy.

Less Stress, More Bliss

by

Less stress more bliss soulciallivingStress is Change –

Change is everything –

Embrace it!

What is stress? Stress is change and because everything is always changing and moving, we feel stress on a regular basis. Simply put stress is our response, physically, spiritually and emotionally, to certain changes that happen in day to day life. Sometimes it’s good stress and sometimes it’s bad stress. When those changes are extreme and prolonged, fearful and painful, it can be deadly.

Examples of bad stressors that can cause negative effects in our lives are: a car breaking down, receiving bad news or getting laid off, an annoying colleague, financial issues, and sickness, changing habits like quitting smoking, or ending a relationship, moving, deadlines at work. The list is endless. We all have your own stressors.

Good stressors cause different responses. The body can respond by increases in chemicals, such as endorphins, that provide more energy and strength. Endorphins allow humans to feel a sense of power and control over themselves that allows them to persist with activity for an extended time; like runners high or the euphoric feeling after a particularly satisfying event, the excitement felt after an extremely awesome experience.

When working properly, stress helps you stay focused, energetic, and alert. In emergency situations, stress can save your life – giving you extra strength to defend yourself, for example, or spurring you to slam on the brakes to avoid an accident.

What can you do when stress and change are excessive? GET HELP!

The best way to manage stress is to avoid it. Since that is not always an option there are a wide range of tools available to help including: psychotherapy, drugs, meditation, and exercise.

10 Stress relievers that you can include in your life now include:

                  Meditation/Mindfulness

                  Exercise

                  Healthy foods (chocolate counts!)

                  Journaling

                  Energy work

                  Massage

                  Creative projects

                  Positivity coaching

                  Connecting with “happy” people

                  Laughter

My particular methods for relieving my stress levels are meditation and mindfulness, exercise, laughter, energy work, and eating foods that support my overall well-being. These techniques can easily be incorporated into your life by accepting that stress can be a good thing, and, when these are practiced on a regular basis, they can seriously reduce your stress levels and increase your own happiness levels.

Experience less stress and more joy, by embracing change! Want to know more? Visit terigriffinwilliams.com.

 

 

What’s Your Love Language?

by

shadow love JawDroppingPhotography

The other day I had a conversation with a client who mentioned that the woman he was dating didn’t really even know how to be a good friend, let alone a date. It got me thinking about the “5 Languages of Love” by Gary Chapman.

Chapman based his work on his own longtime relationship with his wife and over 30 years of counseling. He suggests that we fall into one of 5 areas when it comes to how we express emotional love saying, “Each person has a primary love language that we must learn to speak if we want that person to feel loved.” (You can take a short quiz to find out yours at http://www.5lovelanguages.com/)

I shared with my friend that I thought many people today would benefit from taking a look at the 5 basic ways not just as a lover, but as a friend. Wouldn’t it be wonderful if your friend took the time needed to recognize, or was present to, the particular way you liked to be treated, your own love language.

The five basic ways are:

  1. Words of Affirmation – Simply put, if this is your language you like to be told often how much someone loves you, why they love you. You like compliments and words of appreciation.
  2. Gifts – If this is your language you love to receive thoughtful gifts, gifts from the heart. They don’t have to be expensive, they simply need to express how much you were thought of, how much you are cared for.
  3. Acts of Service – You love it when your partner, spouse (or friend) pitches in to help with the dishes, takes the trash out or does your laundry. Anything he/she does to lighten your load is going to make you gaga for them over and over again.
  4. Quality Time – Nothing is more important to you than spending quality time with your friend/lover if this is your language. You look forward to turning the T.V. off, sitting with a cup of tea and sharing a few moments connecting deeply.
  5. Physical Touch – A person whose primary language is Physical Touch thrives on a gentle touch, a warm hug, a pat on the back, and holding hands. Whether it’s a friend or lover, what they crave is physical presence.

Each and every one of us has a particular way we like to be treated that may differ from our partner or friends. It might not be easy, at first, to speak your friend or lovers language, especially if it differs from yours. It makes sense to take the time to understand what sparks the people in your life so you can help them feel more loved. Isn’t that really what we are here for?

Feedback