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What Age Are You In Your Heart?

September 7, 2015 by Rob Dorgan

IMG_0760Yesterday we were having a conversation with our friend Nina as we wrapped up our Key West Healthy Living Retreat. The conversation was about birthdays. Some people love them, some people dread them but most of us reflect a little deeper when there is a “zero” involved.

There might be some excitement about “20” as we feel we are “coming of age” but after that there is the intense feeling of time running out as we climb to 30, 40, 50, 60, 70, 80, 90….

I wrote all those decades out because I have friends and clients in them all. And the ones at the top of the ladder look at the ones below as “kids”.

Yesterday as we spoke to Nina, Steve asked her, “How old are you in your heart?”  Without hesitation she said, “ In my 30’s.” Chronologically, she is older but in her heart she is as old as she feels.

Nina is retired from her first profession. She recently moved to an Island and changed her life dramatically. She reduced her stress, exercises her body, mind and soul regularly and now works with an attitude of love for life rather than working to find a life she loves.

Even with all this, she was having some issues with an upcoming birthday. It is understandable. Although our calendar and birthdays are man-made ways of categorizing time, they are milestones in our lives that give us cause for pause. In astrology, your birthday is considered your personal New Year. The sun is back to the place it was on the very day you were born and took your first breath. It is a great time, a natural time to pause and reflect.  It’s a time to ask yourself, “Where have I been and where am I going?”

Taking a little personal time each birthday to reflect and either set your course or reset your course, can make facing a “zero” year less intimidating. It can make facing any birthday less intimidating.  It is when we live in denial of time and the inevitable that we eventually “freak out”.

In Tantric Yoga Philosophy it is said that five things cause us suffering as humans: Ignorance, Ego, Attachment, Aversion and Fear of Death.

BINGO!!!  Birthdays can activate all of them if you think about it.

Ignorance – when we don’t know or acknowledge that we are more than our bodies and that our spark of divinity is eternal.

Ego- – when the fear of getting older is about loss of youth rather than the celebration of our new role as we become a wise elder.

Attachment— to our life.   Aversion— to its inevitable evolution—see Ego above.

Fear of Death- For many of us- this is the unspoken bogey man for sure. And that comes down to being afraid of the unknown.

Who knew birthdays had so much deep stuff buried beneath them. But they do.
We can help each other out with the “birthday dilemma”.

Never ask any one their age. Ask them how old they are in their hearts.

Do not send birthday greetings with tombstones or the color black as the most prominent feature. That doesn’t make anyone feel good.

Ask each other what “newness” we are adding to this phase of our life and what negative thoughts we are going to leave behind.

Celebrate what you have learned through your life and plan for the next adventure.

Take time to reflect on the goodness you have experienced and all the incredible people and experiences you have had and are still having.

Allow your self to be shining example of how to continue to Live Life Fully rather than merely just existing.

Our generations are the vanguard of change about living life fully and with as much meaning as we can handle. Most of us have the advantage of being able to work on raising Consciousness like no other generation before us.

Let’s encourage each other to live our life and forget our age.

Let’s raise each other up with each birthday milestone to see our lives as having purpose no matter what man-made number we are celebrating.

We can help and encourage each other the most by teaching through example as we experience and  express our lives fully through our heart as well as our head.

Happy Happy Birthday to us all.

A Love Note from the Universe

June 3, 2015 by Rob Dorgan

A young woman exults the onset of the vivid sunset in french riviera...
A young woman exults the onset of the vivid sunset in french riviera…

Do you ever have those moments, days, weeks or …… where you just doubt yourself?   I do! In the past few years, I have surrounded myself with the Philosophy of Tantric Yoga and with as much of it which I read, study and surround myself in, one would think the self-doubt would go away. What I have come to realize is that it doesn’t just suddenly go away in a puff of smoke, but it takes a consistent effort on our part to clear the smoke from our eyes so we can see ourselves for who we really are— Divine.

I grew up Catholic and I have gleaned many wonderful things from Catholicism but I also carry around all the years of being told that we are not perfect, we are flawed in some way.

“We must work hard to clear our souls from sin and then maybe we will be worthy of Heaven.”

What I took away from Catholicism was Heaven is a future goal and there really is nothing one can do to be completely whole in the earth existence.

OK, maybe I have over simplified the church teachings but in general, religion taught me, to work hard to be forgiven for your sins and that your efforts will be rewarded in the future.

What about NOW?

Yogic philosophy, specifically the Philosophy of Tantra, teaches, we are good and perfect right now because our true nature is a piece of the Divine energy and therefore we are not flawed. The first time I heard that I felt a strong stirring in my being that whispered “Truth”.   Instead of working to be forgiven for being born human, we seek to uncover the Pure Gold that is already inside us. We may need to “work” to uncover our own “Gold”, but it is there waiting to be found. As the sages say,

“That which you are seeking, is also seeking you.”

So why do we hold onto so much self-doubt and loathing? I think of the process of letting go of it as a personal treasure hunt. Something deep inside us “knows” or “feels” that we each have an innate goodness. As creations of the Universe, we are not flawed. We are just looking for the treasure map to find our “S”elf. Along the way we have forgotten to look into the mirror to tell ourselves we are loved and that we are beautiful. We need to remind ourselves daily that we are born with an innate goodness and when it is fostered and nourished, that goodness grows until we truly believe in our own Goodness which allows us to open up to let our life fully blossom. It takes tender and diligent gardening to get this to happen. But it is worthwhile. It is what we are all about—- beauty and love and seeing both in ourselves.

Everyday, instead of dwelling on what is wrong in your life or the world, reflect on what is beautiful. Start with your own heart. There is beauty there—- look deep and see it, feel it and know it.

Recently I was having one of those days, weeks….. of self-doubt with some self loathing mixed in. It didn’t feel good. I was having trouble being my own coach. Then, I got a love note from the Universe. After dinner at a Chinese Restaurant my fortune was just what I needed to remind me, comfort me and build my resolve to keep moving forward.

 Rob

It is the fortune we all need to receive once in a while as a reminder—- so today I offer it to you because it is true- your heart is pure, your mind is clear, your soul devout. Take a deep breath and let the truth of your own beauty and innate goodness sink into your psyche.

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