How much more can you take? Do you feel like the pain will never go away? Are you devastated beyond your worst nightmare but know that life goes on even if you hate it right now? That pretty much describes any life where radical, unwanted and unimaginable, changes dominate the here and now. What can you do about it?
If you’ve followed me for any time you know that I am a firm believer that whatever we are going (as horrific as it may be) is something we are meant to experience. That is not to suggest however that we wanted it or have to appreciate it at this very moment. In fact I’d go so far as to tell you that I hated my worst challenges. However no matter how much you may struggle and rail against your current condition there will be some point, maybe years down the line, that you understand the value the experience brought to your life.
“Great” you may say, “but that doesn’t help me now.” But what if it did? What if instead of letting the pain run (and ruin) your life you just let it be? What if you allowed yourself to experience the pain, nightmare, the challenge, without the judgment or the struggle? If in the midst of your overwhelming grief you said to yourself, “I am going through this for a reason and I’m not going to fight it anymore?” By allowing yourself to feel the full weight of whatever is overwhelming your life you preserve what little energy you have for something better. (Like to start living the life you want.)
How much relief would you have by letting it happen and the realizing when you come up for air that you are still standing? Some fights you can’t win. Your spouse walks out or dies, your home goes into foreclosure, your job ends. You may have fought a good battle all along but you also know when no matter what you do it’s not going to change the ultimate loss. Feel it, hate it if you must, but stop fighting it and start healing.
It takes time. I used to say that I lost everything in my life except my husband and then he died. There comes a point where you have to decide if you’re going to let the pain run your life or you’re going to just stop running. It’s when you decide to stop the struggle that you begin to heal.
When you’re ready… do this for you.
With love, Cheryl