A safe harbor where beliefs are respected and kindness prevails.

A Supportive Self-Love Plan For The End of 2014

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CindyTNAutumn is my favorite time of year in northern Michigan. The air is cool and crisp. Lake Michigan’s black water and the colorful forest canopy are sure signs of the seasonal shift. Swimsuits and shorts have been replaced by blue jeans and sweatshirts. My senses are heightened by the rustic smell of campfires, crisp clean air on my cheeks and the crunchy goodness of Honeycrisp apples. This is also the time when I give thanks for all of abundance in my life, celebrate my accomplishments for the year and set intentions for the remainder of the year.

Right now is the perfect moment to honor yourself. You deserve to sit with all you’ve accomplished personally, professionally and spiritually this year. Give yourself credit for where you are right now.



Breathe. Pause. Smile.

Tips to help you celebrate, switch things up, and set intentions for the rest of 2014.


Celebrate Your Wins

All too often we focus on what needs to be done vs. what we’ve already brought to fruition. One of the best ways to celebrate your great work and personal accomplishments is to write them down in a journal. You’ll be blown away by all you’ve accomplished in the last 10 months. I know I was. Celebrate your wins and give thanks for the what you’ve learned and how far you’ve come in your life this year.

Change Things up in Your Environment

Is your environment in need of some warmth and tender loving care? Often the simple act of rearranging your office space or living space will provide an energetic pick-me-up. It’s fun to move pictures, furniture and prized possessions to new locations. Perhaps it’s time to let some things go as well. Invigorate your senses with fragrant flowers or a new candle. I love simmering mulling spices on the stove top this time of year.

Allow for Rich and Meaningful Alone Time

How much time do you allow for quiet contemplation, reading and meditation? Perhaps soaking up the sweetness of an afternoon nap feels like a supportive choice. I know you’re busy and life moves pretty fast, but your mind, body and soul deserve stillness and spaciousness. As you move toward the winter months in the northern hemisphere, allow for peaceful moments and precious time to yourself.

Set An Intention For How You Want the Rest of the Year to Unfold

With a little over 60 days left in 2014, it’s time to set your intentions for how you’d like things to unfold before the holidays. Update your calendar. Get clear about which projects, experiences and ideas plan to you explore. Do your best to define how you wish the rest of the year to play out. A bit of planning now will alleviate stress last minute decision making.



Celebration, environmental shifts, alone time and clearly defined intentions will help you flow beautifully into the new year.

  • What do you love about this time of year?
  • What are you most proud of accomplishing in 2014?
  • How will you care for yourself before the holidays?
  • What is your intention for the next couple of months?

Love Your Life

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R&S Photo 1This is the inaugural article of “Themes for Life”, a monthly column for Simple Steps, Real Change Magazine. In our column we want to share themes from our lives that we hope will resonate with the overall themes of your life. Life is all about connections – let’s connect! This first article coincides with a big mile-stone in our personal lives. The first week of September marks an important event in our journey together. September 3, 2014, we will celebrate 28 years together. Wow! Now that’s something.

We have shared a lot of adventures in our time together. Early on we sold all of our possessions and back packed through Europe. On our first spiritual quest we moved to Cripple Creek, CO to work for and with the author-astrologer, Linda Goodman. We owned and operated a magical little retail shop in downtown Cincinnati, OH called Lefthanded Moon. For twelve years we ran a manufacturing company that was named for all things beautiful – Vertu. A few years ago we moved to Albuquerque, NM to attend a unique Massage School. Currently we find our call to service as Licensed Massage Therapists, Personal Trainers and Yoga Teachers. We’ve been together through it all – side by side, one picking up the pace when the other was tired or experiencing doubt or fear.   Today, as in the past 28 years, we own only one cell phone; we carry only one wallet and own only one car! Our friends love to tease us about this calling it “THE phone” or “THE wallet”.   How can we do this, you may ask? Well, we are together 24/7.  That’s right! We are literally now, and have been together almost every moment of every day.

We began our relationship as good friends, and as it evolved into a loving partnership, we realized that we really like being together.   We knew in those early days in Cripple Creek Colorado, a remote mountain town of 450 people, we wanted to spend as much time as possible together. At each stage in our relationship we asked the Universe to present us with opportunities to allow us to work and travel together. Wish granted. Early on we worked as bartenders and servers in the same restaurant – we had the same shifts; traveling Europe we were side-by-side from Athens to London; working in Colorado we would sit across from each other at Linda’s kitchen table; in our retail shop, it was always just the two of us; at the manufacturing company, our desks were right next to each other’s and in school for massage we studied and practiced as a team.

RS-Brad-SmithThis type of relationship is not for everyone. And even with all our togetherness, the most important component in our relationship is allowing each other to grow and develop as an individual. With a full sense of individuation, we come together to build and nurture the partnership.   We are together physically, emotionally and spiritually most of the time. But we still need and crave “me time”.   There is a relationship each of us has with ourself that needs as much nourishing and attention as any outside relationship in our life – maybe more!

Early in our relationship, when we were developing our personal spiritual practices, we discussed the possibility of reincarnation. It was then we decided to start our meditation practice so we could find each other faster the next time around. This may sound a little childlike. That’s OK. We work to keep a sense of childlike qualities in our relationship, like being open, honest and trusting.  Our practices have helped us! They help us to see, the deeper we love ourselves and the more we acknowledge our unique spark of creation and feed that spark, the more we find we are alive, happy and whole. Our journey together led us to a deeper understanding of Self Love. Without this Self-Love, our relationships dissolve into a co-dependency that leaves our Souls hungry for something deeper. The hunger is for a connection with Self first and foremost. Self-Love is a learned behavior. We need to foster and nurture it throughout our lives. We believe it is one of our greatest quests in life.

We’ve learned many things about life and living over the past three decades. One of the many things we learned from Linda Goodman was about numerology (the study of the power and the spiritual vibration of numbers, as presented by Chaldean-Hebrew Kabala). We celebrate our anniversary on the 3rd. In numerology that means our anniversary and our relationship, vibrates to the number 3. Three is described as representing idealism, higher education, foreign travel and religion. Three is the number of optimism, movement, expansion – and the Holy Trinity of the Body, Mind and Spirit.   On first read about the number three in 1989, we hoped this would come to pass. One of the many gifts of maturity is to have the opportunity to look back. As we ponder the last twenty-eight years, we realize these words…Idealism, Movement, Expansion and the Holy Trinity of Body, Mind and Spirit really do describe our relationship – it captures the essence of our lives together – seeking truth and freedom at every turn.

Our individual journey and quest for Self-Love enabled us to create our relationship of idealism, movement and expansion. Through our practices we know the companionship we hold with our Self, is what leads us to truth and opportunities for self-growth and understanding. So enter again the number three. The trilogy we are experiencing is Steve – Rob and then SteveRob. Whether or not there is a significant “other” in your life, you always have the opportunity to romance the Self and Love Your Life.

If there is no outward three in your life, create your own inner trilogy. In numerology, the number one represents creativity, protection, benevolence. ONE is the number of original action, the initiating bases of all other numbers. There cannot be a 2 or 3 without the 1.

How do you romance your Self?

Take some time each morning to be with you. Do this in meditation, yoga or journaling.

Look in the mirror each day and tell yourself, “I love you”. If in the beginning, you find this declaration of love difficult, start by winking or smiling at yourself.

Eat food that is nutritious, drink lots of water, take walks, move your body. Make the effort to quiet the ego voice so you can hear the Me voice.

Create your own trinity of Body, Mind and Spirit.

We have much gratitude for the longevity of our relationship and all the opportunities for growth it has afforded us. We also have gratitude for our individual journey and our romance with our SELF.

The love most of us seek outwardly is actually a buried treasure in our own heart. Dig for gold friends. You are richer than you know right now in this moment.  Love Your Life!

Thank You Love Substitutes

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Screen Shot 2014-02-02 at 7.29.03 PMThis month I am embarking on a new journey of teaching in live workshops.  I am sharing the tools and techniques in Lemons, Lemonade & Life in order to heal emotional eating.

For this new endeavor I needed to spread the word, and what better way to do that than electronically?  But, we’re all so busy these days, unless an email title is compelling enough, chances are we won’t even open it.

So as I pondered headlines, titles and idea after idea, nothing really resonated with me.  For weeks.  Then one night as my mind wandered, I really remembered what food meant to me before I healed emotionally.  Food was my focus.  It was comforting and kind to me.  For decades, food was my best friend.

I remember when I was obese.  I was unhappy and potentially facing illness and disease if I continued to gain weight.  I remember how I needed to change my relationship with food and, after I healed emotionally, I was finally ready to take those steps.

I realized that I needed to break up with food as my best friend.  It lied to me.  It felt caring and comforting and nurturing when I was eating it, yet that feeling didn’t last long.  And as my weight climbed and climbed, I remember feeling more and more helpless.  And that’s when I got the title: “Your Best Friend is a Liar… It’s Time to Break Up.”

I was successful in breaking up with food as my best friend.  And once I got back into the driver’s seat of my life and I stabilized my weight, I came to realize that food had been my substitute for love.  I didn’t feel badly about it, because it was a way to connect to love when I couldn’t feel it otherwise.  I needed love and understanding so desperately, and it provided that.  It kept me on the planet long enough to heal then learn to use it in a more balanced way.

Many of us use food as our substitute for love.  There are other love substitutes, such as shopping, alcohol, drugs, plastic surgery, exercise, career, money and even other people.  When we are out of balance and use them in excess, we can see the impact on our bodies and in the quality of our lives.

What’s beautiful about recognizing when you have a love substitute is identifying that what you really seek is love and understanding.  That is the positive wish underneath the excessive use of something, and it provides wonderful direction on how you can start moving forward – by building your self-love and self-understanding first.  After all, our love substitutes are habits, and habits can be broken.

In considering this, the idea of ridding yourself of love substitutes, you may ask, “Well, if I got rid of everything I enjoy, what’s left?”  And the answer is, nothing… and everything. Stripped of the distractions of life, you can identify the real you.  Your real gifts – ones you were born with that have been stymied — await you so that you can use the things of life in balance and harmony with your spirit. Who better to belong to and with than yourself?  Once that bond is established, it is permanent and your ability to shift your relationship with your love substitutes becomes a true possibility.

To build self-love and self-understanding, you can start by honoring what you did to survive to this point.  Understand that it served a positive purpose for you.  It may feel counter-intuitive, however when you acknowledge and honor what you did to survive, it gives you the ability to shift more easily.

If you feel that it’s time to break up with your love substitutes, you might not be ready at the moment, but thinking about it is a wonderful first step.

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