A safe harbor where beliefs are respected and kindness prevails.

What Do You Want To Bloom In Your Life This Spring?

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Fotolia_29701059_Subscription_XXLThe wonderful thing about the changing of the seasons is that it provides opportunities to celebrate different aspects of our lives. Spring is when the light returns, when the weather warms, when we can start to spend more time outside because the days grow longer, when the blossoms burst out of winters barren branches. Life is fresh, young and new.

Most of us have traditions for each season too. For me it is Easter. For my Jewish friends it is Passover. Each religion has its special celebrations. Some of the traditions we repeat every year because they are touchstones to things that made us happy in our childhood. I HAVE to make an Easter basket for my husband every year. I HAVE to color Easter eggs. They are my touchstones to feeling good and there is only one time of year I can do that particular thing.

But this year, I want to start a new tradition. I want to think about and write down what I intend to spring forth for the first time this year for me. I will still do all my old patterns, even though they may not always have the power they once did, but I want to add one new tradition. Here are some things I have been thinking about and I encourage you to make your own list too. A list of possibilities for Spring!

  1. Reach out to make a new friend that has the same hobby or interest that I have.
  2. Plant something I have never grown before.
  3. Pick one activity for just one day that I want to volunteer for, such as working in a soup kitchen.
  4. Plan on a Sunday meal in a restaurant I have never tried, perhaps with a kind of food I have never tried.
  5. Volunteer to walk dogs at the local animal shelter.
  6. Buy or make myself a new piece of jewelry.
  7. Go on a hike at a new location.
  8. Take a Sunday ride to someplace I am curious about.
  9. Go to see a local live performance, of music or theater.
  10. Go wine tasting.
  11. Go to the Lavender fields.
  12. Take a crafting class.
  13. Take a golf lesson.
  14. Take singing lessons.

So now that I have my list, I will pick one of them and plan to do it EVERY year…not just this year. It will be my new Spring Fling! It will be my new touchstone. It might make the other things I ALWAYS do more joyful. I will not pick something because it is “good for me” or because I want to be “good.” I will pick something that stirs a little emotion in me, that “wakes up” part of me that may have been put to sleep by a life experience.

When I entered High School, I LOVED to sing. I wanted to sign up for chorus. But my mother, for a variety of reasons, told me I couldn’t…that if I sang too much when I was young I would get throat cancer. So I stopped singing.

Recently I finally found a church that suites me, after avoiding church all my adult life. They sing there. I sing there. I cry when I sing there! Finally, 50 years later, I have found a touchstone that makes me feel so good that I cry with joy!

This will be an easy habit for you to remember…because NATURE will remind you. The first blossom you see, the first bird making a nest, you will be reminded that there is a “blossom” in you that wants to come forth…drawn out but the light.

Time to find a new blossom for your soul!

Shedding Old Clothes

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Fotolia_34553939_Subscription_Monthly_MI remember when I was in fifth grade.  One day before lunch ended, I opened the door to my classroom and found that the room was empty.  I was surprised.  This was the first time ever that I was in the room by myself.  With nobody else around, it was pleasantly calm and quiet.

I walked over to my teacher’s desk and took a good look.  After all, it was the only place in the entire room I hadn’t really had the opportunity to inspect, until now.  I looked inside the drawer and found her grade book.  It was right on top.  I opened it where it was paper clipped and saw all of our names with the lineup of test grades next to them.  I looked for my name, and saw my grades, A, A-, B+, A+, A-, A … For a test we had taken just the day before, I saw, “B-“ next to my name.  B minus?  What???  That wouldn’t do.

I quickly looked for a pencil on her desk.  My mind raced.  “Would I erase it?  Would I cross it out?  No, that would be too obvious.”  I decided to put a tiny mark on it to change the minus sign to a plus sign.  It now read “B+.”  My face was hot and my body was tingling as I quickly put the book away.  I never got caught for that, nor did I confess, but it didn’t matter.  I was on edge about it for a long time.  I tortured myself about being stupid, being a liar and a fake, and, therefore, non-deserving of anything good in life, ever.

For decades I hid my dark and troubled spots. I was extremely hard on myself. I was a pro at chastising myself, which almost landed me in my grave.  Do you remember the character “Pig-Pen” from the Charlie Brown comic strip?  That was me: pretending that everything was okay and normal even though there was soot all around me.

In my healing journey, rather than beat myself up, I flipped a switch by honoring what I did to survive.  I came to understand that by pretending my non-preferred experiences and my responses to them didn’t exist, I kept them firmly in place.  I learned that by honoring what happened and describing my experiences without judging them allowed me to transform then release them.

To Clean = to rid of impurities; to purify.

When it came to changing that grade way back when, I came to understand that by getting good grades, I received praise and love I didn’t feel otherwise.  I also felt that if my performance slipped, I wouldn’t receive praise and love.  I doubt that my parents would have withheld their love, yet at the time I couldn’t risk even the thought of getting negative attention because I couldn’t face the humiliation.

I also came to understand that my perfectionist nature (which I’d be willing to bet I was born with) went into overdrive once I was sexually violated as a little girl.  And finally, I understood that my constant self-chastising represented my fervent desire to be a good person.

In contemplating the glorious cycles of nature, springtime pulsates with the idea of renewal – of making a fresh start.  When it comes to spring cleaning, I love the idea of ridding my closet of old clothes.  The old clothes I speak of are not those I wear.  For me it’s more about transforming non-preferred experiences so that I can shed old thoughts and ideas that no longer serve me, therefore creating space for the new and wonderful stuff I desire.

By stripping away the action itself (changing the grade) and seeking out the positive wish underneath (the desire for praise and love), I purified that experience.  I was able to give my fifth grader what she so desperately needed – praise and love.

Here is the formula I use for shedding old clothes.  Ask yourself:

What happened?  What did you do or say that was non-preferred?  What was your positive wish underneath your original response? It will typically be that you wanted understanding, acknowledgement, and/or love.

Now, replay the event in your mind, but instead, act or respond in a way that gives you the understanding you seek.  If the event involved someone else, imagine the other person giving you what you are asking for (in the form of your positive wish).  See and feel yourself receiving the understanding, acknowledgement, and/or love that you needed at the time.

Be creative. Understand that your subconscious mind doesn’t know whether something is occurring physically or virtually, the feeling is what it records.  As you replace the old hurts with acknowledgment, understanding and love, you allow them to transform, thus lovingly shedding your old clothes to don new ones.

Experiences will continue to emerge from the shadows to receive light and transformation, and you will know how to do it.  You have the ability to appreciate each moment rather than thinking that you need to fix everything in order to be deserving.  May you come to understand that you are lovable anyway; that you are free to heal, to laugh, to love, and to express yourself, soot and all.

 

 

Starting Over, Starting New

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I am so fortunate to live in a part of the country where I experience seasonal changes. Each Season, each Moon and Sun cycle, each Equinox and Solstice, each ebb and flow have been opportunities to start anew, to learn more about who I uniquely am and to celebrate with flow and creativity. What nature has taught me the most is that every moment is new. Wow … every moment is new. I have chills putting this into words. What a miracle to live moment by moment in newness, and from our Rhythms.

This past year as I have been observing and living in rhythm with nature, it has become very beneficial to my health and well-being. Living in harmony with nature is not a new idea, it is one of the foundations of Eastern Medicine and was also the basis for health before society became too busy and stressed to feel the body’s rhythms. Fighting or not listening to our rhythms throws us out of balance into a state of dis-ease.

As we go into the New Year, by observing the changes that take place during the winter season, we can attune ourselves to a healthier winter. Leaves have fallen off the trees providing nutrients for the soil, plants pull their sap and nutrients back into their roots, days are shorter, life slows down, some animals hibernate, nature withdraws into itself, the earth rests. Winter is a time of regeneration.

I have embraced the New Year and Winter Rhythms. Winter should be a time of personal growth, a time to go within, a restful break, a time to replenish energy for the start of the “growing” season, Spring. The shorter days that winter provides should be used as an opportunity to get more rest, sleep and dreams. Personal growth requires a lot of quiet time and solitude. Solitude is always an interesting period in our lives. It can be a time of independence, loneliness or a time of reflection and growth, the choice is ours. Winter is the time to go within. Time spent alone has the ability to open creativity. It allows us to become our real selves, true to ourselves. A time to explore who we really are, our strengths and weaknesses. We are all complete as we are, but we don’t usually realize it.

No one can provide true happiness for another person. True joy and happiness come from within when we take the time to be ourselves, to discover who we are. If we use this quiet time to reflect on the past, but not cling to it, we are able to see where we are and where we may be heading. We realize how we’ve changed, what we’ve learned and how we’ve grown by past experiences. Sometimes the smallest steps in our development are created by the hardest lessons of the past. Recognizing difficult times as just that allows us to release and forgive, to move on. Obstacles along our path provide a stopping point, a time to slow down and reflect. We are all given the strength to remove or move around the obstacle.

When we take time to be introspective, we ask, What is important to us? What do we choose to create? Who am I? These questions are vital for a life that expresses peace and deep connection. Winter gives us hope that what we create can be different. Strange that in Winter’s seeming dormancy lie the seeds of great change and newness. So here we are at Winter, with her unique rhythms. Obviously we can feel that life has slowed down within us and around us on the outside. What are a few ways we can keep in rhythm with all that we are and want to explore? 

This is my creative newness list for keeping in and with the rhythms of Winter. I know I could add many more items to my list, but these are my top ten loves and joys. Creating a list makes me feel at home within my own being. It is a fresh start. A new beginning to discovery.

1. Winter walks, finding moments of gratitude

2. Making my own teas through nature’s goodness

3. Aromatherapy and essential oil healing

4. Writing cards to be delivered by mail

5. Visiting family and friends, building stronger relationships

6. Preparing for Spring planting

7. Watching a snowfall by the window in the darkness

8. Creating new recipes and baking

9. Going to my cabin for a day every week

10. Making a new checklist for staying healthy and thriving

When you create a list, you want to be sure that whatever you put on your list are things that make you feel connected to your joys, your essence, your truest self. They need to feel effortless and nourishing. This isn’t another to-do list. This is a list that brings you to delicious moments you savor and can’t do without.

Allowing ourselves to move with the rhythms of Winter, we are not idle. Anything but. We know that in every relationship (with our self, others, nature, seasonal rhythms) there is a time for activity and a time for reflection. Reflection can be hard work if we do it right. We should ask intentional questions of ourselves, delve deeper than we have ever gone before. Understand who we are and our connection to life. It is in this way that the newness and creativity are vibrant and vital. Nature has the balance of its rhythms down to an art. I hope you can do the same!

Enjoy the Winter …

 

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