A safe harbor where beliefs are respected and kindness prevails.

Demystifying a Myth

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cards-tall2:cards/tallKnowing that I write this column, my husband read to me a story that he read he thought might be good to write about.  I did some research and in fact it IS a good story to write about, but for a different reason.

The story is commonly described as Cherokee in origin. According to sources considered expert in Native American/First Nation stories, it is not. The story in its various forms is about two dogs or wolves that fight each other…one good and one bad.  When asked which one wins, the answer is “The one I feed.” Just google “Cherokee two wolves origin” to get to these sources.

What is interesting about this story is that, unlike First Nation peoples, we of other origins need to add a moral to our stories. That is how we “think”.  That is not a bad thing…it just isn’t First Nation. It IS a great description of our contemporary evolving thinking, that what you think about you give energy to…and attract it to you. This is an issue I struggled with a great deal over the last 9 years as a mega-mining company wanted to build the largest open-pit gravel quarry in the country less than two miles directly up wind of our home.

What a great opportunity this was to learn to really LIVE this belief!

I didn’t want to “push against” the quarry, as that would give it my energy.  But I really didn’t want it in my back yard for many reasons…nor did the majority of the 100,000 plus other people who are my neighbors.  So what did I do?  I certainly did participate in all the marches, etc.  I made signs and advertisements and flyers as was requested by the group. I showed up. I did research and presented at meetings the potential economic effect on real estate/property tax revenues.

But I also built a water sculpture in my yard facing the mountain…using art to send energy to protect it.  I also made, just for myself, a little movie about the mountain…inviting all the “Gods” of the world to come and dance on the mountain.  I only showed that to a few people because the important thing to me was the positive energy I sent out from myself, from my heart, during the act of creating it. I was showering the mountain with love from my soul.

I did the film after I was drawn into a public argument with one of the mining people at one of our events.  Of course a very unattractive photo, in color, of me arguing was on the front page of our newspaper the next day…with my name in the caption!  Also the day of our event, the wind blew a big bulletin board over and hit me on the head…I literally had to be hit on the head to remind me to stop that behavior!

So I tried to balance the energy by making the little film.

A few years into the situation, the local Pechanga First Nation people made public their belief that this mountain was the location of their creation story.  I had no idea of this when I made the water sculpture or the film.  In the end, after many ups and downs, wins and losses, they were able to purchase the land and stop the quarry.

My good friend Rani Mari and I have spent many hours discussing this subject…of your thoughts giving energy to “things”…and we came up with a new way of looking at it.  Pretending something isn’t there really doesn’t work for me.  So now, I acknowledge it, release my feelings about it, and, with feeling, focus on what I want.

  1. Acknowledge
  2. Release the negative feelings
  3. Focus, with feeling, on what I do want to see.

 A.R.F. …just like a happy doggie barking for what it wants.  So, back to the dog/wolf story.  Think of a happy dog, a cartoon dog if you like, with the voice bubble over his head filled with “Arf” to remind you of this technique!

That is the dog/wolf you want to feed to make your life as happy and successful as it can be!

Arf!

Acknowledge and Release

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Fotolia_4114986_Subscription_LI believe I have mentioned this phrase before, but want to share some more thinking about it.  I was “complaining” about a business situation and my husband said “Here’s some advice…if you can’t change it, stop worrying about it!” We have all heard that before, but I want to add something to that thought.

Before you release anything that doesn’t feel good or right to you, you have to shift your feeling about it!  That is the newest level of operating these days as a human being.  So before I released that point of worry, I needed to shift my FEELING about the situation.  So how does one do that?  Here is a simple process you can use, as I did.

  1. Ponder the real and actual effect the situation has on you.  Will it affect your income, your work schedule, your status in the community! Or, is this just about you not having “control.” Many times this step is all you need to do, and you can have a good laugh at yourself for being “upset” about something that doesn’t REALLY affect you. That little chuckle will lift up your vibration to a higher state and you can go on to step 3.
  1. If you realize that the situation really will have a substantial effect on your life, then it deserves to be acknowledged as real, not just a knee jerk reaction.  So now what? If you truly acknowledge it for what it is, you can choose to release it and go on to the next step. Yes, just ask to release it.  You may not feel that exactly at first, but honoring it is a pretty essential step.  Otherwise, it just goes and hides somewhere in your brain/body and will pop up again, perhaps even in regards to a totally different situation.  So even if you don’t really feel it, just ask to have that released from your life’s experience.
  1. This is the most important part.  Now you need to spend time visualizing what you DO want, now that you are clear about what you DON’T want.  Think/feel how it could be different, how the situation could turn around in a positive direction and think/feel how that would be for you.  FEEL it!  This is your creative imagination doing its best work.  This is the potential you have for actually creating your life…for making yourself happier! So imagine the situation to be different that it appears to be, imagine it to be a GREAT outcome for you, imagine that the other people involved are also thrilled with this new direction, imagine it a WIN/WIN situation.  They don’t have to lose for you to win after all!

This is how you take control of your life.  Right there. The more time you spend visualizing what you want…and FEELING it, the sooner “what you want” will appear in your life. And the best part is that you will actually feel better along the way. Having something or not having something isn’t really the point, how you are feeling is the point!  So if something or someone is making you unhappy, you are giving them your energy.  It is draining you of your positive juice!  So recognize it, honor it, release it, then spend time playing with what you want.

If you have your own story to share, please write to me and I will “anonymously” share it.  We all benefit from each other’s stories.  Write me at voiceofyoursoul@gmail.com.

In Search of the Silver…

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Fotolia_51964560_Subscription_Monthly_MWe have been told all our lives to “Look for the silver lining in every cloud.”  We have heard it so much that it has lost a lot of its power. We are in the habit of saying that to people to cheer them up, not that we always believe it to be fact. But the time has come to really put this concept into action, because we now know the real benefit is that we shift our energy to a higher place, a better place for ourselves when things seem to go wrong…SEEM to go wrong that is! Let me expand what this can mean for year in 2014…a new era that requires new thinking.

It is really recycling energy. Physicists are all pretty clear now that form follows thought.  A simple example is this:  You decide you need a desk so you go and purchase one.  There is a fire in your office and the physical desk burns up.  But your thought is still present, that you need a desk, so you replace the physical desk.  This may be an oversimplification of the concept, but it is certainly one we can all understand.

So when something physically disappears in our life, it COULD be that there is a new energy, a new physical item that you are now ready to have.  But to get it, the old one has to depart…at first feeling like a loss.

Let me give you a few examples that I personally experienced over the holiday season, 2013

Loss: The weekend before Christmas and my planned Christmas Eve Turkey dinner, my oven/microwave quit working.  After the second repair guy came, he determined it needed a new computer card, which of course wouldn’t arrive until the following week because of the holidays. We were hosting a family that had just lost two parents so I wanted the evening to be perfect for them, comforting.

Gain: I learned that I could make an awesome turkey dinner on the BBQ. The silver lining was that we all felt closer for having to “rough it” together. Of course loosing an oven can’t even begin to compare with loosing your parents, but that fact that we huddled together with this challenge was a great diversion, a temporary break for the months of stress ahead for them dealing with this loss. I am actually grateful that the oven didn’t work…I believe it made us closer. I hope that I didn’t just give up was comforting to them…that I cared.

Loss: The following Friday, on my way to get supplies for the roast beef dinner we had planned for 10 friends for Saturday, my used car that I had purchased a year before broke down!

Gain: The good news was that I was close to home and I found a new mechanic that could work on this kind of car.  I had previously believed that I had to go to the dealership in the next town to service my car, but this mechanic and his wife were LOVELY people so now I have a new, more personal care taker for my car.  I now have more knowledge about my car.  I was waiting for my “smart car” to tell me when it needed servicing, but its brains MAY NOT HAVE BEEN RESET by the dealer.  I was relying on a source that may not have been “awake”. What could have been a VERY expensive problem was solved and my stress level about my car maintenance dissolved.  Whew, less subconscious stress….another bit of silver!

Loss: The weekend after Christmas, my oven and microwave still didn’t work and I had to prepare a full prime rib dinner, complete with fish for those who didn’t eat meat, for our annual get together with 10 good friends. I researched how to do a roast on our rotisserie on the BBQ, but the times for roasting ranged from 2 hours to 6 hours!  How could I plan the full meal to come together at the same time, at a time my guests were ready, with such a time range?

Gain: During the day while spending time with my guests and fussing and stressing about our dinner that evening….the proper preparation of a costly prime rib… they all said “Next year we will just get pizza because you work to hard on this gathering every year!  This group of friends are gourmet eaters and I NEVER would have thought to serve them pizza.  Instead every year I work myself into exhaustion to make a perfect meal and now I don’t have to do that any more.  They ALL said that it was about spending quality time together.  It wasn’t about the food as I thought.

We also discussed that my stress level is raised by my need for perfection and teased me about it into laughter the rest of the day and evening!  I often escape stress with a cocktail, but this time, with the encouragement of my girlfriends, I didn’t have anything to drink until we sat down to a PERFECT dinner. We all had a great time and, the prime rib was awesome on the grill! And next year I have permission to order pizza

Loss: On New Years Eve my husband’s glasses broke in half, and he has a very difficult prescription.  He really can’t function without his glasses. He had a back up pair but has to hold his head still while wearing them.  Not easy for him!

Gain: Believe it or not, he was able to get an eye exam on New Years day and came home with a new pair of glasses.  For him, the good news was that his previous prescription was WAY off so now he has a correct prescription…and a correct pair of glasses. His life got better for the glasses breaking and at this time, the cost didn’t break the bank!

Through all these situations that in the past would have wound me up like a top, I just stayed calm and KNEW that all was well…I kept looking for the replacement energy.  I just kept busy looking for the silver lining instead of stressing about so many things breaking.  And look at how many things I learned!  The “things” can be repaired or replaced.  The lessons I will have for life.

The world around us is shifting and we need new ways to cope, to adjust, to stay on top of the quicksand.  If you need a “silver lining” reminder, get yourself a small piece of silver jewelry, or a silver bookmark, or silver toothpick!  If you can stay in that positive place, you will suffer less and, as in my case, even find awesome gifts.

Happy New Year everyone!

Shifting Up From Judgment to Discernment

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Most of us fear being judged on some level.  It doesn’t feel good at all, and depending on how much emotion is attached, it can feel really awful.  Most of us, however, tend to do it to other people or events.  While we can’t easily control being judged by others, we can learn to shift what we do ourselves in our daily situations and that can improve the quality of our lives.  It doesn’t mean that you just “accept all that comes your way.”  What it means is that you stand back and try to see what is motivating you to decide if something is right or wrong for you, shifting from judgment to discernment.  Following are some steps you can take to do that, but first let me explain the difference between the two.

Let’s say you are an interior designer. Your client is color blind, but knowing that green will represent “healthy and organic” for his new store, has decided that he wants all the items in a particular room to be green. He can’t see the difference between green and blue. Your job is to select only green items, using your ability to discern between the two colors. There is no emotional judgment involved in this; it is just a simple matter of observation and choices.

But let’s say your mother always dressed you in green when you where a child and everyone in school made fun of you. Now when you look at something that is green, it inspires a negative emotional judgment about the color. It puts your emotional body into negative vibration mode and out of sync with the rest of you. It takes you away from your higher source. If that happens and you are aware of it happening, you have to work at bringing yourself back into balance or spend the rest of the day “out of sorts.”

So if you find yourself “not liking” something, step back and evaluate what is going on with you, what is the reason for the reaction. Ask yourself:

1. Is this opinion based on prior experience about this subject?

2. Does the situation evoke a twinge in my belly?

3. Am I thinking about what OTHERS would think of choosing or not choosing the situation?

4. Have I rationally thought about the pros and cons of this subject?

Too often we have to make snap decisions, and there may not always be time to go through these questions, but if you practice when you have time to ponder something, it will in time become second nature to you and you will run through the questions in a flash of a second. If your answer was “yes” to 2. or 3., it is likely that you are in a state of being judgmental, or having an emotional reaction to the situation that might have nothing to do with the current situation.  So what is wrong with that you ask? You might just make the wrong choice.  You might let some past experience stop you from what could be a very good experience for you…now, with this new situation…not the old one in your emotional memory banks.

When you are pointing your finger at someone else in judgment, energetically you are pointing THREE fingers back at your self. Being more tolerant of people or situations that aren’t living “up to your standards” will not draw those types of people toward you. Not being tolerant just might!  We are learning how our own energy draws certain things to us and repels others. So if you are in a state of being emotionally judgmental, you are going to attract people that are also in that state around you…inviting them to judge you.

Our emotions play a very important role in our lives, as long as they are in balance.  Feeling love and joy are very positive experiences to be sure.  If you are feeling anger or fear, those feelings may be protecting you from something about to cause you harm.  What is good for us to learn is if what we are feeling, be it love or fear, is really about the situation immediately in front of us or about something that happened in our past.  Thinking that you are “in love” with someone who reminds you of a past love can match you up with the wrong person.  If you are in a state of fear, lets say of being fired from your job, if that fear stems from a previous experience when you were actually fired, not this situation, you may react inappropriately and actually get yourself fired again!

Don’t be discouraged if learning to master this “discernment” about your emotions takes some time. But taking the time to try to see the difference can’t help but make your life better, help you make better choices. Just think about it next time you are in a state of judgment.  Run through these four simple questions and see what is really going on with you.  We all have this ability, we just have to

 

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