A safe harbor where beliefs are respected and kindness prevails.

A New You Right Now

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My friend Jeannine comes for her massages early in the morning.   More often than not, Jeanine, Steve and I have a great conversation about the most important things in life—- real down and dirty soul matters before they disappear into the massage treatment room.

I love these conversations and they leave me with so much on which to contemplate and meditate. This week was no exception. The conversation was about “new beginnings” and “starting new”.  Her comment was that everyone is so focused on their “New Year’s Resolution” that they completely forget that today is the perfect time to start a new.  She went on to comment about how after putting all our energy into January 1, if there is a “fall from grace”, for what ever reason, we give up, we throw in the towel, we become depressed.  We failed again so once more, we may say, why try in the first place.

What about today? What about right now?

This time of new beginnings at January 1 is all human made.  Our calendar helps us to track time and make appointments/plans but any day in our life is a great time to start a new plan of action in our life.  Right Now!

What can you change or resolve to do in this moment that will bring about lasting changes for a lifetime? What can you do everyday of your life that will help you stay on track to being the biggest and brightest version of yourself?

To begin with, Fall in love with you!  That’s right. Dedicate time, energy and passion to yourself.

In my meditation workshops, I suggest to my students to start each day by looking themselves in the eyes in the mirror and say, “I love you”.   The secret is to really look, to truly see yourself and be present as you say it.

Some students freak out. “I could never do that. That is so intense.”

It can start out that way.  So maybe start with just looking at yourself – really look at yourself!   In a day or two maybe add a smile.  Then, the next week add, “Hey, I like you.”  Work up to it until there is a full-fledged “I love you” coming to you from you every morning.

When we learn to adore our selves on the deepest of levels, it becomes easier to keep our other resolutions as well.  Our deep caring for Self helps us to be more discerning about how much we take into our being, whether it be food, drink, media, or even other people’s energy for good or for bad.

We begin to make decisions about how we treat ourselves based on our own deep sense of self love.  All this is based on you, no one else. Did you not receive the love you craved as a child?   Or maybe its even missing in your current relationships.  Give it to yourself!  Right now!  Do not wait!

My friend and teacher, Bobbie Corbean, scheduled date nights by herself.  She would go to the opera, a movie, a concert alone—- on purpose. She fixed her favorite meals for just herself.  She always said when she felt disconnected from herself, she knew it was time to take some quality time to be with herself.

How can we truly love another without knowing and passionately loving ourself?  From the words of the Christ, “Love your neighbor as yourself”.  It is implied— “Love yourself” and then all the rest happens. It is a kind of magic!

Let’s take a moment together.  Take a deep breath….. Take one more.   Let yourself relax.  Let your shoulders move down away from your ears.  Now, one more full deep breath.  Now place both your hands on your heart center. Can you feel your heart beat?  If not, its OK.  But feel your hand touching your heart center.  Feel love and compassion for yourself.

If that is difficult, let yourself experience the love you have for someone special, or a pet that loves you unconditionally.  Slowly open your heart to YOU.

You are an exquisite creation of the Universe. You are unique and more lovable than you will ever know.

Keep all this in your heart as you make your resolutions.   Start anew any day and everyday.  Keep it all going by believing in You.  The magic is inside.  The buried treasure you seek is in your heart.

One more deep breath. How beautiful.

Getting Back to YOU

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Fotolia_68623817_Subscription_Monthly_MWith the New Year coming, many of us find ourselves in a state of reflection and evaluation. We reflect back on the past year’s joys and pains. We often set new goals for ourselves and set out to achieve great miraculous things in the upcoming new twelve months laid out before us.

Why is it that every New Year we come up with a new, or sometimes even repeated, list of what we feel we are not, yet long to be? There seems to be something cyclical in our nature. We find that the turning over of the calendar calls to our soul to reevaluate ourselves. We vow to make a fresh start, vastly improving on the “you” that existed pre-January? We vow to eat better, exercise more, pray more, meditate more, complain less, and stress less. So many things we want to do and be. So many things we long for. Many times we think achieving this list will finally make us happy once and for all.

I have a different philosophy on the upcoming New Year’s resolutions that you may be considering. Reflect on this a bit before you devote yourself to a full-fledged overhaul of all that you are.

What if, instead of feeling like we need to revamp the whole package, we focused on ways to broaden our core gifts?

We all have unique gifts we bring to the world. I believe we have been designed to be a unique combination of quirks, talents, jagged edges and soft tenderness that enable us to be exactly what this world needs right now, right here. So while we may wish we were thinner, kinder, healthier or more fiscally responsible … what are you to this world already, right now? What are your great gifts that you naturally exude, and how can you use those to shine a light that surrounds you?

Self-improvement is a worthwhile endeavor, something to help lead us to be better people. But let’s not sidestep or minimize what we naturally are at the fiber of our being. Maybe the way to improve our lives is to delve more deeply into the core of who we are instead of wishing to be something different.

We spend a lot of our time viewing and envying the light of others. We wish for longer legs, a happier outlook, a better job, a better relationship. What if their light is not our color? Do not ignore the shade of light that only you bring. What is the color of your special unique light and how can you better carry that out into the world?

Maybe you have endured an abusive or painful relationship? Instead of shunning that in shame and secrecy, ask what glory can be brought by your trials? How can that part of who you are bring light into the world?

Maybe you lost your job this year or, god forbid, your partner? You are suddenly in a unique position to have a void to fill? What can you best do with that void? Where does the world need your special unique set of talents, ability to love and the spirit in your soul that you shine?

Are you wonderful with children, but yours are gone? How can the core of you be used to better this wonderful world we live in? How can you connect more light in people through the joy only you can bring into lives?

Instead of feeling the arrival of the New Year as a call to reform and reshape all that you are, maybe this year recognize it as a chance to celebrate and deepen all that you already are. You were designed to be you for a very special purpose. I encourage you to embrace and share that role more deeply than ever before with the world.

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