Dear Regina,

I am gay and live in a place where gay people are hated. I am surrounded by people who say they are “religious” but there is no way I can be myself in an environment of such prejudice and hate. Why do people hate, especially those who say they are spiritual? Alex, W. 

Dear Alex,

Following a religion and being spiritual are two different things. Spirituality is the path of personal reflection and investigation to find truth that aligns with love – acceptance, compassion, and non-judgment. People who hate while calling themselves “religious” are spiritually lazy, allowing themselves to be controlled by and hand fed the doctrines of others. Without investigating for ourselves we do not appreciate that everything changes. The natural progression of change includes our understanding that ancient religious texts were written in a time when women had no power, there was no science, no technology, and no questioning authority whatsoever.

Sexuality is now known to be biological in nature. But some people still perpetuate judgment based on antiquated thousand-year old beliefs. Those people have not done the personal investigation necessary to “learn” that science offers new information that was not available when ancient religious texts were written.

Stay true to who you are. You cannot change anyone. People who perpetuate judgment based on ancient beliefs will only change when they question their beliefs with the goal of seeking truth. If you continue to live where you do, then know that by being the best person possible you are an example of what it actually means to live true spiritual values.