We have been told all our lives to “Look for the silver lining in every cloud.”  We have heard it so much that it has lost a lot of its power. We are in the habit of saying that to people to cheer them up, not that we always believe it to be fact. But the time has come to really put this concept into action, because we now know the real benefit is that we shift our energy to a higher place, a better place for ourselves when things seem to go wrong…SEEM to go wrong that is! Let me expand what this can mean for year in 2014…a new era that requires new thinking.

It is really recycling energy. Physicists are all pretty clear now that form follows thought.  A simple example is this:  You decide you need a desk so you go and purchase one.  There is a fire in your office and the physical desk burns up.  But your thought is still present, that you need a desk, so you replace the physical desk.  This may be an oversimplification of the concept, but it is certainly one we can all understand.

So when something physically disappears in our life, it COULD be that there is a new energy, a new physical item that you are now ready to have.  But to get it, the old one has to depart…at first feeling like a loss.

Let me give you a few examples that I personally experienced over the holiday season, 2013

Loss: The weekend before Christmas and my planned Christmas Eve Turkey dinner, my oven/microwave quit working.  After the second repair guy came, he determined it needed a new computer card, which of course wouldn’t arrive until the following week because of the holidays. We were hosting a family that had just lost two parents so I wanted the evening to be perfect for them, comforting.

Gain: I learned that I could make an awesome turkey dinner on the BBQ. The silver lining was that we all felt closer for having to “rough it” together. Of course loosing an oven can’t even begin to compare with loosing your parents, but that fact that we huddled together with this challenge was a great diversion, a temporary break for the months of stress ahead for them dealing with this loss. I am actually grateful that the oven didn’t work…I believe it made us closer. I hope that I didn’t just give up was comforting to them…that I cared.

Loss: The following Friday, on my way to get supplies for the roast beef dinner we had planned for 10 friends for Saturday, my used car that I had purchased a year before broke down!

Gain: The good news was that I was close to home and I found a new mechanic that could work on this kind of car.  I had previously believed that I had to go to the dealership in the next town to service my car, but this mechanic and his wife were LOVELY people so now I have a new, more personal care taker for my car.  I now have more knowledge about my car.  I was waiting for my “smart car” to tell me when it needed servicing, but its brains MAY NOT HAVE BEEN RESET by the dealer.  I was relying on a source that may not have been “awake”. What could have been a VERY expensive problem was solved and my stress level about my car maintenance dissolved.  Whew, less subconscious stress….another bit of silver!

Loss: The weekend after Christmas, my oven and microwave still didn’t work and I had to prepare a full prime rib dinner, complete with fish for those who didn’t eat meat, for our annual get together with 10 good friends. I researched how to do a roast on our rotisserie on the BBQ, but the times for roasting ranged from 2 hours to 6 hours!  How could I plan the full meal to come together at the same time, at a time my guests were ready, with such a time range?

Gain: During the day while spending time with my guests and fussing and stressing about our dinner that evening….the proper preparation of a costly prime rib… they all said “Next year we will just get pizza because you work to hard on this gathering every year!  This group of friends are gourmet eaters and I NEVER would have thought to serve them pizza.  Instead every year I work myself into exhaustion to make a perfect meal and now I don’t have to do that any more.  They ALL said that it was about spending quality time together.  It wasn’t about the food as I thought.

We also discussed that my stress level is raised by my need for perfection and teased me about it into laughter the rest of the day and evening!  I often escape stress with a cocktail, but this time, with the encouragement of my girlfriends, I didn’t have anything to drink until we sat down to a PERFECT dinner. We all had a great time and, the prime rib was awesome on the grill! And next year I have permission to order pizza

Loss: On New Years Eve my husband’s glasses broke in half, and he has a very difficult prescription.  He really can’t function without his glasses. He had a back up pair but has to hold his head still while wearing them.  Not easy for him!

Gain: Believe it or not, he was able to get an eye exam on New Years day and came home with a new pair of glasses.  For him, the good news was that his previous prescription was WAY off so now he has a correct prescription…and a correct pair of glasses. His life got better for the glasses breaking and at this time, the cost didn’t break the bank!

Through all these situations that in the past would have wound me up like a top, I just stayed calm and KNEW that all was well…I kept looking for the replacement energy.  I just kept busy looking for the silver lining instead of stressing about so many things breaking.  And look at how many things I learned!  The “things” can be repaired or replaced.  The lessons I will have for life.

The world around us is shifting and we need new ways to cope, to adjust, to stay on top of the quicksand.  If you need a “silver lining” reminder, get yourself a small piece of silver jewelry, or a silver bookmark, or silver toothpick!  If you can stay in that positive place, you will suffer less and, as in my case, even find awesome gifts.

Happy New Year everyone!