A safe harbor where beliefs are respected and kindness prevails.

When What You’ve Lost Is More Than You Can Bear

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Couple Holding HandsI’ve been doing my best to get out and walk every evening.  Jack & I use to do that all that time.  We’d walk around our neighborhood, holding hands, and we were the cute couple.  It breaks my heart to not have my hand in his.  But I keep moving… because I know it’s what I need to do for me.

When you find yourself without what use to be your life it really is more than anyone should have to bear.  I don’t care if it’s a spouse, a child or a career.  When something means so much to you that it hurts to be without it it’s hard to even think about going on… but we do.

Last week I saw a friend for the first time since Jack died.  He looked at me and commented about all of the stress being gone from my face.  And it is in that I am not longer on an endless heighten alert for fear Jack would fall or not be able to keep his food down.  Gone is the stress about what would happen to me without him.  It’s painful to be without him but I’m still able to function and care for myself.  Because that’s what I do.

Grief and the pain of major life challenges are somethings we all will go through whether we want to or not.  And some events are more horrific than others but… as they say… this is life.

You may not have experienced any of this yet.. but when you do I hope you’ll remember this.  You will get through it… and yes it will tear at your soul and break your heart… but you will heal.  It takes time.  And you’re still living so you have that on your side.  Allow it all to be as it is then allow yourself to find peace. Because you will.

With love, Cheryl

Gratitude: The Quickest Way to Boost your Mood

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When you arise in the morning, give thanks for the morning light, for your life and strength. Give thanks for your food and the joy of living. If you find no reason for giving thanks, the fault lies in yourself – Tecumseh, Shawnee Native American Leader

One of the quickest ways to welcome more happiness and optimism into your life is to practice gratitude. Gratitude is a feeling we experience by noticing, and being thankful for, the blessings in our life. It can greatly transform our overall feelings of well-being. People who regularly practice gratitude experience better physical and mental health. We cannot experience negative emotion if we are feeling thankful. Gratitude is accompanied by feelings of peace and joy; it has the potential to change our thoughts from lack to abundance.

Anyone can adopt a practice of gratitude. At first it may feel uncomfortable, even insincere, but overtime it becomes easier and much more natural. What we focus on expands, and when we choose to notice our blessings we find more things to be thankful for. You can instantly experience more gratitude in this moment by appreciating the simple things that so many of us take for granted. Appreciate the fresh water that you drink, the warmth of the sun, the air that you breathe. Notice small acts of kindness, like someone holding the door for you, or buying your morning coffee. Practice looking people in the eye and genuinely saying “thank you”. Be specific in your praise. Something as simple as saying to a waitress “thank you for your great service” will help boost their mood as well as your own. Take note of how the feeling of gratitude affects your body. Where do you feel gratitude? What thoughts strongly evoke feelings of gratitude? Practice these thoughts often.

Beginning and ending your day with a gratitude practice will evoke feelings of peace and joy. In the morning, before you get out of bed, take time to be grateful for the day ahead. Be thankful for the fun day at work, or the interesting conversation with a friend. Saying thank you in advance helps to set a positive tone for the day. So often people dread getting out of bed because they are worried about the things that might go wrong throughout the day; instead, practice being grateful for things going smoothly. At the end of each day, when you are lying in bed, think of the best thing that happened that day and say “thank you”. Often times people use the time before bed to reflect on what went wrong throughout their day; what someone said to offend them, how they were disrespected, lied too, etc. Or people spend the time mentally preparing a to-do list for tomorrow. Using this time to reflect on what you are grateful for will help you fall asleep in a positive state of mind.

Gratitude is a way of approaching life. It is a choice we make to focus on the good in each day. Post a list of blessings in your room, and choose to look at it often. Carry a list of blessings in your purse or pocket and look at it when you are feeling down. When we are thankful for what we have, we make room for more good things to come into our experience.

Forgiveness Through Ho’oponopono

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Bees Ho Oponopono JAW Dropping PhotographyReady to forgive?

Forgiveness frees us to live in the present with greater ease and joy. Yet saying I’m sorry and asking for forgiveness can be two of the hardest things we will ever do. Equally as difficult can be forgiving others.

As a shamanic practitioner, one practice I have found to be very effective is the ancient Hawaiian practice of the Ho’Oponopono. Joe Vitale writes about this practice in his book, “Zero Limits”, written with master Ho’oponopono teacher Dr. Ihaleakala Hew Len. Dr. Hew Len used the practice to heal mentally ill criminal patients on a hospital ward.

The only purpose in your life and mine is the restoration of our Identity—our Mind—back to its original state of void or zero (Buddha), of purity of heart (Jesus) and of blank (Shakespeare) through nonstop cleaning.

Based on the simple understanding that everything in nature is interconnected through subtle energies and that we can never truly separate ourselves from the whole, the Ho’Oponopono provides neutrality and clearing when seeming wrongs have taken place. In ancient teachings it was offered to “make right” with the ancestors; to correct those seeming wrongs that had occurred in a life or lifetimes, either intentionally or unintentionally. It is not a religion, it is simply a practice that offers neutrality and unconditional love for anyone and anything. Don’t we all just want love?

By realizing the connection to all life, all beings, we can admit our own responsibility and make the correction through processing the Ho’oponopono like a mantra until it feels like the cycle is complete.

To begin working with the Ho’oponopono:

Visualize an infinite source of love and healing flowing from source, through you, connecting you with the earth.

In your mind see the person or scenario that you do not feel aligned with and begin chanting, silently or out loud, “I’m sorry, please forgive me, I love you, thank you”.

Repeat the chanting until you no longer feel an emotional attachment to the situation. This may take several rounds of the chant or it may take only a few.

The beauty of this practice is its simplicity. It can be offered in any situation in life where you do not feel in complete alignment.

Several weeks ago a client called me asking me for support with a family issue she was having. Not wanting to overstep her family’s boundaries I suggested she begin the Ho’oponopono for each family member. I also suggested she use Google to seek more information on it. Within just a few days both her and her family found resolution – peace and forgiveness. Coincidence? I think not!

To connect with Teri visit TeriGriffinWilliams.com.

Living In Fear? Find Solitude

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Fotolia_6337787_Subscription_LHow many times has someone said to you, “It will be ok” and you smiled because if you didn’t they’d keep talking?   Do you get tired of well-intentioned friends encouraging you with “This too shall pass?”  Do you just want to be left alone to feel what you’re feeling?

There are so many good people who want to help you through whatever you’re going through and you know you can rely on them.  However, when we are at an all time low about our lot in life, all of the words of support and encouragement can fall flat.  I know because I’ve been in some very low places and despite all the good intentions the voice in my head was just saying, “Yeah, right.  You don’t understand.”

If you’re feeling that way I encourage you to go to a place where you can be alone.  You need the time to think for yourself, to feel what is causing you pain and then to decide for yourself what you’ll do now or next.  If you’re around others their voices will drown out your own especially if they are determined to help you.  And right now you need to hear your own voice because it’s the only one you’re going to believe.

In this time of solitude allow yourself to vent out every emotion you have.  You’re safe… no one can hear you and you don’t have to worry about what they might think.

I encourage you to give voice to your worst fears.  Create the scenario in your head about everything that could go wrong.  When Jack was first diagnosed with leukemia and then again with cancer my worst fears were that he would die and I’d be alone, broke and homeless.  None of those things have happened but they were real fears to me.

If you did this with a friend they would be the first to tell you that you’re overreacting… and you are but you don’t need them to make you feel bad about yourself.  (Even if they are trying to help!)

The point of this exercise is to release the fears rather than burying them.  If you try to hide them or avoid them then they are always there and will come out when you need them least.  Instead by exposing your fears to the light you can see them for what they are… figments of your vivid imagination.

The interesting thing about our worst fears is that 93% of the time they never come to fruition.  Knowing that has helped me focus on a differently likelihood.   I’ll bet my life on the lesser outcomes than I’m going to bet on the 7%.   Perhaps you’re thinking that with your luck you’ll fall into the exception range.  That’s your ego talking.  “I’m different, I’m special, I’m the exception to the rule.”  This is not a time to let your ego take over because your ego isn’t your friend… it’s your ego and you need to avoid it like you’re avoiding other people right now.

Once you have vented out your fears, sit, do nothing, and enjoy the release of those emotions.  In that silence you will hear your soul’s voice… the one you’ll believe when it says to you “We’ll get through this.  I have your back.”   Your voice is the only one that matters when you’re dealing with your life.  Everything that comes from your soul comes from a place of love, kindness and respect. And that is what you need to hear right now.   And that is all you need to know.  Therein lies peace.

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