Today we are hearing a lot about how our feelings influence what actually happens to us in our daily lives, how it affects experiences we draw to ourselves.  Yet when we are in the middle of something that feels like a fight, it is hard to remember … truly … that this situation that seems awful in the moment is actually an opportunity to shift into the positive, to achieve some personal growth.  We study and read and listen to audio/video lectures about how to do that, yet when it comes to that moment, that moment when you just want to throttle someone, that all that learning can go right out the window. So what is the secret to getting past those honest feelings and get back to some good ones?

Lots of challenging stuff has been going on in my life lately, but I feel that I am finally reaching that “eye of the storm” kind of calmness that draws more good to me, rather than more conflict.

Part of what has helped me stay on track with the good vibes thing is to gather with other people of like mind.  The support is awesome. They won’t let me go to an angry or victim place … so I don’t.  So after just a few weeks of doing this (I found a spiritual center to attend in my town and attend once a week), I feel a true shift has taken place.

In the past, I gravitated towards people who were “sympathetic to my plight” and cried along with me. We all need a shoulder to cry on now and then, but what we REALLY need is to have friends that will talk us through to the positive and not support our pity party.

As a result of the last few weeks of affiliating with uplifting people, yesterday I had a  ‘business meeting’ with а person who just ‘happens’ to know almost ALL the people who I value in my small town.  He contacted me to talk about a work project.  We had NO idea how much we had in common until we started talking. I felt this meeting took place because of my feeling so good lately … putting out the positive vibes.

I have had some business challenges in the last couple of years, but now, in hindsight, I am thankful for the people who challenged me, made me feel like I had a fight on my hands. They gave me the opportunity to dig deep and challenge myself NOT to feel like a victim.  It took me a LONG time to get past it, and I went around telling everyone my sad story all the time. Somehow it was the excuse I was using for my finances being low.  The truth was, it wasn’t that person that caused my financial suffering as much as it was my REPEATING THE STORY OVER AND OVER about what had happened that was keeping success from my door.  Success just isn’t attracted to sad sacks!

So I am grateful to the person that gave me the opportunity to grow out of a seemingly bad situation.  I am grateful for the new friends I have made that support my positive energy and don’t let me talk about my sad story.  I am thankful for my wonderful partner who has supported me through this.  I am thankful that I met a new business associate that looks like he will be a good friend as well!  I am grateful for the opportunity to write these columns to help me talk these experiences out. AND all those feelings of gratitude put me in the best “good vibe” place I can be!

So the lesson here is this. When you are angry “at” someone for something they did “to” you, try to stop yourself from feeling like a victim.  It will just keep you in that bad vibe place and you will have a big emotional bulls eye on you that screams “Go ahead, hurt me!” It certainly is OK to acknowledge the “pain ” but then you must release it or it will own you and do more damage than the event itself.  This is one of the most important lessons you can learn in this life.  I know it is a big stretch to go the next step and thank them…gee, it only took me a couple of years! At least know that it isn’t “what happened to you” that continues to cause the loss or pain, it is the feeling that you allow about “what happened to you” that keeps that same old story coming your way.

I encourage you to seek out a group that will be a positive support place for you. Use your gut to decide if a place or group is good for you or not.  Don’t assume that any religious organization is automatically going to be a supportive place as many organizations are more interested in making sure you follow their rules than they are in making you feel good about yourself. We are each divine beings and it is high time we learn to believe that about ourselves.  Despite what is going on around you, learn to be the “eye of the storm” and everyone around you will benefit from this high energy expansion of yourself!

Now go have some fun, and find some people to have fun with!  The world will be a better place if you do!