A safe harbor where beliefs are respected and kindness prevails.

It Starts With You

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Treating others as you want to be treated does not mean waiting for them to go first. – Regina Cates

Regina BannerOne day I heard a woman screaming at someone on the street in front of my apartment. I went outside. She was upset because she thought that a van was too big and she could not get past it in her car. She was letting the driver have it saying he should not be driving down the street. I watched as he stopped the bus, got out and patiently directed her safely past.

As she went by I overheard her say, “You are so irresponsible I just can’t believe it.” And I heard him say, “Have a blessed day ma’am.”

I went downstairs in time to catch the driver before he got back into the van. I held up my hand and gave the man a big high-five.

“Have a blessed day sir,” I said as he briefly took my hand in his. “You too,” he said with a huge smile.

The fundamental principle of all world religions is to do unto others as you want others to do unto you. Here is the part our ego just can’t seem to come to grips with. We cannot control how other people behave. That means we do not have any control over anything or anyone but ourselves. If we allow our ego to lead, by waiting for other people to treat us with respect and courtesy before we extend respect and courtesy to them, we’ll wait forever. However, by not ego-boxing we don’t stoop to the same level of their negative behavior.

That is the enlightened action that keeps us peaceful and loving just like the bus driver. We choose to treat others as we want to be treated by volunteering to go first.

For more from Regina check out her podcast.  Click the image below.

Regina Sundays

Money Does Not Make You Rich, Character Does

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Regina Banner

I was standing at an intersection waiting to cross and noticed a young homeless man pushing a shopping basket filled with his belongings. He had a beautiful dog with him. Then I saw an older, well-dressed man approach the young man and his dog.

The man knelt down to pet the dog. The young man was beaming, the dog’s tail was wagging so fast I thought it would fly off, and the older gentleman was smiling from ear to ear. When he stood up I saw him hand the young man some money. They exchanged a hand shake and with one last pat on the dog’s head the man turned and walked away.

When I crossed the street I caught up to the gentleman and said, “That was a very cool thing to witness. Thank you so much for what you did.” He smiled. I smiled. For several days I had a wonderful feeling for having witnessed such a sweet and loving act.

It was obvious the well-dressed gentleman had money. Money alone did not make the man’s actions noteworthy. Maya Angelou said, “I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.”

It takes a person of integrity to give the attention and kindness the man bestowed on the young man. Regardless how much money the older man has he is certainly rich in admirable character because of how he made the young man and his dog feel.

For more from Regina check out her podcasts.  Click the image below.

Regina Sundays

Speak From The Heart

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Speak from the heart

The words we speak, including to ourselves, reveal a lot about us and directly contribute to our own level of happiness. That means our attitudes, beliefs, feelings, and expectations are directly affected by our own words and how we say them

“Expressing words through our heart is an illustration of our soul voice.” Natalie Hennessy

Our words not only communicate what we want others to hear, they have the power to influence and impact the people in our lives. We can use our words to encourage and motivate, just as easily as we can use them to weaken or defeat.

In the Five Mindfulness Teachings world famous Buddhist teacher Thich Nhat Hanh says, “Knowing that words can create happiness or suffering I am committed to speaking truthfully using words that inspire confidence, joy, and hope.” When we speak from the heart, we show that we care about ourselves and the person we are in direct dialogue with.

How do we begin speaking and thinking from the heart?

Choose to speak with love. Making a conscious choice to speak with love, including to ourselves, takes patience and practice. Like a stone begin tossed in a pond, once we begin, the ripples are endless.

Action step 1: Begin with yourself! What does your internal dialogue look like? Often we say things like, “I’m not good enough” or “That was a really stupid thing for me to do”. Recognize what you are saying to yourself and how you say it. Choose to use positive internal dialogue and look at the world that way, too.

Think about and write two positive statements about yourself that you are willing to affirm and act on every day. You are replacing a negative thought you may have had about yourself with a positive one. Your mind can just as easily recognize positives; you may not believe it at first, however, think it often enough and you will believe it and become it! Create your own feel good affirmations.

Action step 2: Practice speaking, with love. Dr. Rick Shaffer, creator of “Extreme Thought Makeover says, “Speak to no one of what displeases you, not even yourself” When in a conversation (including a conversation with yourself) envision every word as if it were coming right through your heart center, gently flowing off the tip of your tongue. See the person you are engaging with through eyes of compassion and kindness. Notice the difference from past conversations and any new patterns that emerge. Write them down. (The written word is so powerful and permanent.)

Action step 3: Complement more than complain. Pay attention to what you say to people. Do you tell your wife/husband/partner what a great job she/he did on dinner? Or your children how much you love being with them after school; how much their mere presence makes you smile? Or your husband/wife/partner how much you appreciate his/her efforts of taking such good care of the family?

Wayne Dyer says, “Change your thoughts, and change your life”. Change your words, change your life and enhance the lives of everyone on your path.

 

Soulcial Living – 56 acts of Loving Kindness

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Fotolia_54607324_Subscription_XXLAnd so the time has come to share my last 14 suggestions for “Soulcial Living”. Since January 9, 2014 I have offered you over 56 ways to practice, including the suggestions below.  That equals at least one kind gesture a week every day of the year.

In ‘Loving kindness: The Revolutionary Art of Happiness’ Sharon Salzberg says:

“The difference between misery and happiness depends on what we do with our attention.” 

This is the secret to Soulcial Living – what we focus on multiples; simple yet true.

Begin this practice by bringing more loving kindness into your life.  Incorporate gestures of love, kindness and simplicity into your everyday existence.  Here are 14 additional tips to guide you:

  1. Let someone into traffic who looks like they are in a rush
  2. Start a campaign to help an individual or a group.
  3. Plant a tree or flowers in a neglected area in your neighborhood
  4. Let a debt go that someone owes you, whether monetarily or otherwise
  5. Give up your seat on a train or bus
  6. Tell a service providers manager what a great job they did
  7. Donate your long hair to Locks of Love
  8. Write a referral for someone
  9. Send thoughts of compassion to someone you dislike or feel uncomfortable
  10. Make homemade treats for your co-workers
  11. Send your favorite inspirational book to someone who is down
  12. Use less energy in your home and office (kindness for the planet)
  13. Stick up for someone who has been treated wrongly or unjustly
  14. Radiate loving kindness to the planet

 And ONE MORE

 15.Be gentle with yourself

Everything begins with YOU!

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