A safe harbor where beliefs are respected and kindness prevails.

At the Mercy of the Box

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Girl Opening a Magical Present“Are you serious?” my friend asked the man at the counter.  She had just returned to the post office after he suggested that she come back in an hour because their computer system was down.  And, an hour later, it was still down.

“Yes, Ma’am, it’s still down.  I’m sorry about that.”

My friend looked at him and smiled.  “It’s not your fault,” she replied as she was leaving.  “Enjoy your afternoon.”

She took the 30 lb. box from the counter and returned to her car, and sighed.  This was the second post office she visited that day, as well as a box and ship store.  Of three establishments, none were able to ship the box for her.

The task to which she allotted about an hour of her time ended up taking two days.  When she told me about it, she shrugged her shoulders and laughed.  “When the third store didn’t work out, I knew I was at the mercy of the box.”

My friend didn’t recognize that her intentions had finally come to fruition.  Her life experience had been an immersion course in impatience, which impacted her family, killed friendships and compromised her health.  Once she decided to change her life by asking for patience and calm, she had experience after experience that challenged her: a work promotion and raise that took longer than scheduled, flight delays, getting stuck behind slow drivers, and finally, the 30 lb. box.

She laughed when she finally put together the puzzle pieces: her intentions created the experiences that helped her fulfill her wish.  Because she wanted patience, she created situations that would normally breed impatience, inviting her, over and over again, to make a different choice.  She told me that she now feels a sense of accomplishment and freedom that feel like a miracle!

Have you asked for attributes such as patience or strength and wonder why things suddenly feel like they got tough?  Here’s what you can do to put together the puzzle pieces:

  • IDENTIFY the attribute you are working on in one of these ways:

*Think about what you may have casually asked for in your heart of hearts.  You may have a secret wish in the realm of self-improvement that you may have put it into action without being aware of it; or

*See if there is a pattern of events happening recently that require you to show up more fully in ways that call on you to be patient or strong and trace it back to one of your self-improvement goals.

  • NOTICE when you have an experience that irritates you.
  • CHECK to see if it is calling you to practice the attribute you want to incorporate (such as being patient or strong)
  • ACKNOWLEDGE yourself when you choose to practice patience or strength, understanding that the experiences are a perfect reflection of your self-improvement intentions.

It only takes a little bit of imagination to allow your life to become on purpose, even in ways that initially feel non-preferred.  Once you practice the art of saying, “This experience serves me exactly as-is, even if I can’t yet identify how,” you will connect with your wondrous freedom of choice, reconnect with your creativity, and enjoy your future adventures with some extra pep in your step!

www.janetdthomas.com

My Judgment Is My Teacher

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Fotolia_52686024_Subscription_Monthly_MThere are moments when we judge ourselves. There is no right or wrong, good or bad in this experience unless we judge judgment to be bad and wrong. Making peace with our judgment moves us closer to living our oneness. Our judgment defines who we are, and it shapes the beliefs and values we represent in this lifetime – it is an inseparable part of our journey. As we grow to understand the natural function of judgment, we may release our guilt about it.

Some teachers disguise judgment as discernment; they teach us that it is wrong to judge but wise to use discernment. Discernment is simply a synonym for judgment, nothing more. In my judgment, teaching us to frown upon judgment is a religious tenet that promotes our habits of separation and internal conflict. Disguising judgment in the cloak of the gentler, more “spiritually” correct words such as discernment is manipulative. It does not support our growth, our awareness, and our awakening.

Using another word for judgment allows us to continue believing that judgment is bad while discernment has good intentions. What if we allow the word judgment to have equally good intentions? By treating our natural inclination to judge as a bad thing, we continue to promote the idea that there’s something wrong with human nature. Shameful judgment about judgment has been handed to us, without question, through religion and spirituality.

As an example, in the Christian community, issuing a judgment is considered wrong. Certain scriptures admonish Christians not to judge. There is wisdom in this teaching when the aim of the followers is to love one another unconditionally. Yet, included in the Christian faith there are many rules by which devotees judge each other as well as non-believers. Christians say that it is wrong to judge, while they engage in judgment. Teaching people that it is bad to judge is confusing. This is the moment, right now, for us to grow beyond the guilt and shame of our nature to judge and cultivate our awareness of oneness.

Yet judgment can become an obstacle on our path. When I forget that ALL of my judgment is an expression of who I am, I have fallen asleep and imagine that we are separate. Living our oneness, I remember that I cannot judge you, nor can you judge me. Every judgment made reveals only who I am; it’s not about you. My judgment tells me what is right or wrong for me – not for you. Your judgment is not about me, either.

Moreover, falling into a habit of pretending that I am judging you creates energy blockages in my expression of life energy. Pretending that I’m judging others blinds me to my whole self. Do I judge myself to be better than or lesser than another? Do my judgments block my compassion and empathy for myself and others? Do I permit my judgment to create “us versus them” energy in our society? Is my attention present or have I fallen asleep? When I am awake, my judgment is a teacher that I heed. I am grateful to my judgment for revealing my core beliefs.

Further, if I judge myself harshly, I invite feelings of guilt and shame into my expression of life energy. Feelings of shame and guilt are not good or bad either, yet if they become stuck in the energy body, these feelings begin to manifest as ailments in the physical body. All feeling energy is meant to be felt in the moment and released. Upon judging ourselves as guilty, we feel ashamed and tend to punish ourselves repeatedly. We attach to our judgment of guilt rather than accept the message within it and let it go. The path to letting go of my guilt is to forgive myself completely. Forgiveness is not about forgetting the lesson; forgiveness is about love.

There is value in remembering that just as I cannot actually judge another, I cannot be judged by another. Outwardly directed judgment is an illusion. I have discovered the humor in observing the judgment issued regarding the judgment of others. If someone points out that I am judging them, I own it. Also, if they are a student of oneness, I ask, who is judging you? I cannot feel judged by another unless I allow myself to adopt a feeling of guilt. I cannot judge another, and no one judges me but me. If I have forgotten this, I am grateful to be reminded. I understand that ALL judgment is self-judgment. Embracing our nature to judge frees us from imagined separation. All judgment is spoken into the mirror of reality. Do I listen to the voice of my judgment? What am I learning about who I am? How do my beliefs serve me?

I set the intention to let my judgment be my teacher. Judgment is a natural part of life, and I embrace the function of judgment without fear or shame. I notice when I am judging, and I let go of feeling guilty about my judgment so that I may listen closely to my inner guidance. I remember that my judgment is teaching me about beliefs held within my authentic self. In each moment, I have the freedom to decide if the beliefs I hold serve my well-being. I thank my judgment for bringing my core beliefs to my conscious awareness. I release feelings of guilt for thinking or speaking my judgment. I hear my judgment telling me who I am. Then, I gracefully let go of my judgment as I live my life true to who I am.

In summary, my judgment is my teacher, and I listen attentively. I look in the mirror of my judgment to see my whole self. I stop judging myself harshly for judging. I forgive myself completely. This is loving self-care. This is the journey into living oneness.

A Supportive Self-Love Plan For The End of 2014

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CindyTNAutumn is my favorite time of year in northern Michigan. The air is cool and crisp. Lake Michigan’s black water and the colorful forest canopy are sure signs of the seasonal shift. Swimsuits and shorts have been replaced by blue jeans and sweatshirts. My senses are heightened by the rustic smell of campfires, crisp clean air on my cheeks and the crunchy goodness of Honeycrisp apples. This is also the time when I give thanks for all of abundance in my life, celebrate my accomplishments for the year and set intentions for the remainder of the year.

Right now is the perfect moment to honor yourself. You deserve to sit with all you’ve accomplished personally, professionally and spiritually this year. Give yourself credit for where you are right now.



Breathe. Pause. Smile.

Tips to help you celebrate, switch things up, and set intentions for the rest of 2014.


Celebrate Your Wins

All too often we focus on what needs to be done vs. what we’ve already brought to fruition. One of the best ways to celebrate your great work and personal accomplishments is to write them down in a journal. You’ll be blown away by all you’ve accomplished in the last 10 months. I know I was. Celebrate your wins and give thanks for the what you’ve learned and how far you’ve come in your life this year.

Change Things up in Your Environment

Is your environment in need of some warmth and tender loving care? Often the simple act of rearranging your office space or living space will provide an energetic pick-me-up. It’s fun to move pictures, furniture and prized possessions to new locations. Perhaps it’s time to let some things go as well. Invigorate your senses with fragrant flowers or a new candle. I love simmering mulling spices on the stove top this time of year.

Allow for Rich and Meaningful Alone Time

How much time do you allow for quiet contemplation, reading and meditation? Perhaps soaking up the sweetness of an afternoon nap feels like a supportive choice. I know you’re busy and life moves pretty fast, but your mind, body and soul deserve stillness and spaciousness. As you move toward the winter months in the northern hemisphere, allow for peaceful moments and precious time to yourself.

Set An Intention For How You Want the Rest of the Year to Unfold

With a little over 60 days left in 2014, it’s time to set your intentions for how you’d like things to unfold before the holidays. Update your calendar. Get clear about which projects, experiences and ideas plan to you explore. Do your best to define how you wish the rest of the year to play out. A bit of planning now will alleviate stress last minute decision making.



Celebration, environmental shifts, alone time and clearly defined intentions will help you flow beautifully into the new year.

  • What do you love about this time of year?
  • What are you most proud of accomplishing in 2014?
  • How will you care for yourself before the holidays?
  • What is your intention for the next couple of months?

What Do You Want To Bloom In Your Life This Spring?

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Fotolia_29701059_Subscription_XXLThe wonderful thing about the changing of the seasons is that it provides opportunities to celebrate different aspects of our lives. Spring is when the light returns, when the weather warms, when we can start to spend more time outside because the days grow longer, when the blossoms burst out of winters barren branches. Life is fresh, young and new.

Most of us have traditions for each season too. For me it is Easter. For my Jewish friends it is Passover. Each religion has its special celebrations. Some of the traditions we repeat every year because they are touchstones to things that made us happy in our childhood. I HAVE to make an Easter basket for my husband every year. I HAVE to color Easter eggs. They are my touchstones to feeling good and there is only one time of year I can do that particular thing.

But this year, I want to start a new tradition. I want to think about and write down what I intend to spring forth for the first time this year for me. I will still do all my old patterns, even though they may not always have the power they once did, but I want to add one new tradition. Here are some things I have been thinking about and I encourage you to make your own list too. A list of possibilities for Spring!

  1. Reach out to make a new friend that has the same hobby or interest that I have.
  2. Plant something I have never grown before.
  3. Pick one activity for just one day that I want to volunteer for, such as working in a soup kitchen.
  4. Plan on a Sunday meal in a restaurant I have never tried, perhaps with a kind of food I have never tried.
  5. Volunteer to walk dogs at the local animal shelter.
  6. Buy or make myself a new piece of jewelry.
  7. Go on a hike at a new location.
  8. Take a Sunday ride to someplace I am curious about.
  9. Go to see a local live performance, of music or theater.
  10. Go wine tasting.
  11. Go to the Lavender fields.
  12. Take a crafting class.
  13. Take a golf lesson.
  14. Take singing lessons.

So now that I have my list, I will pick one of them and plan to do it EVERY year…not just this year. It will be my new Spring Fling! It will be my new touchstone. It might make the other things I ALWAYS do more joyful. I will not pick something because it is “good for me” or because I want to be “good.” I will pick something that stirs a little emotion in me, that “wakes up” part of me that may have been put to sleep by a life experience.

When I entered High School, I LOVED to sing. I wanted to sign up for chorus. But my mother, for a variety of reasons, told me I couldn’t…that if I sang too much when I was young I would get throat cancer. So I stopped singing.

Recently I finally found a church that suites me, after avoiding church all my adult life. They sing there. I sing there. I cry when I sing there! Finally, 50 years later, I have found a touchstone that makes me feel so good that I cry with joy!

This will be an easy habit for you to remember…because NATURE will remind you. The first blossom you see, the first bird making a nest, you will be reminded that there is a “blossom” in you that wants to come forth…drawn out but the light.

Time to find a new blossom for your soul!

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