I do not believe it is possible for us to agree with everyone all of the time about everything. I do believe it is possible for us to stay agreeable people when disagreeing. – Regina Cates

One day at the gym I witnessed a full-blown ego-battle between two staff people. It began when I overheard the sales director arguing with someone on the phone. Suddenly he slammed the receiver down, hanging up on the caller. The person immediately called back to complain to the general manager.

Without regard to other employees or to the members of the gym, the general manager proceeded to scream at the sales director from across the room. He screamed back. Everyone in the gym overheard the bitter exchange that included steady streams of profanity from both sides.

One of my favorite quotes is that of Albert Einstein, “Problems cannot be solved at the same level of awareness that created them.” No matter how other people behave it is always our choice to fall victim to our impulsive ego’s demands to be defended, or to be proven right, or to get someone to fall in line. We also have the choice to take a deep breath, count to five and lead with our responsible heart to stay calm, open, and focused on remaining agreeable in the midst of a disagreement.

The next time you find yourself disagreeing with someone, stop and take a deep breath. The goal is not to angrily force them to see your side. Anger does not result in clear communication. Anger does not solve disagreements. Anger does not lead to staying agreeable to find a peaceful, mutual solution to our disagreements. Remember, anger blinds us to any other view but our own.

Challenge your energy into listening to their point of view. Really hear what they are saying. Possibly their view will make sense. And, maybe their position is purely emotion without rational or factual substance. If there is merit to their comments then you can work to find common ground. If not, by staying open to hear them you will have brought the higher level of awareness necessary. Being the one who stays agreeable to listen, allows you to walk away without the stress that comes from butting your head against the wall of another person’s ego. It does not mean you agree with their point of view. You have simply chosen to take the higher road by not engaging with anyone who thinks it is productive to be disagreeable when disagreeing.

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