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Clear The Clutter

March 10, 2014 by Cindy Hively

 –  What Is Holding You Back?

Fotolia_35647855_Subscription_Monthly_MAs humans, it is in our nature to experience clarity, calmness and spaciousness all the time. The problem is we’ve forgotten how. It’s my hope that we (re) discover and (re) claim the journey. I know I do, and I am pretty sure you want to remember what life can be like when it sparkles like a diamond inside and out. Yes??? Yes!

Well, let’s put on our amazing designer rubber gloves, roll up our sleeves, get our bright bucket and get to it! Shall we?

Behind the mess that is your stress and your clutter, there is an infinitely spacious clean place one might call stillness, or joy. This is our natural state of being, but we hardly know it because most of us are caught in a tangle of social expectations, family expectations, people pleasing, illness, worry, fear, negative beliefs, material attachments, and endless mechanical “doing.” We go to work under extreme stress, come home to stress, and then start the stress cycle all over again every day. And … it scares the heck out of us; I know it once did me. So how do you break up the clutter inside and out and clean it up for good?

1. Realize clutter comes in many forms.

There’s the obvious physical stuff, of course: the junk that spills out of the closets and the piles that we wade through every day just to get out the door. It’s the stuff we don’t use, love, or need. The stuff that doesn’t have a permanent home or we can’t seem to put away on a regular basis. But there is also the more invisible clutter that gooks up our lives, the result of our unconscious and conscious human behaviors, for example.

~There’s mental chatter, the resident ego barking orders to assure its eternal comfort and safety, the endless loop tapes we play in our mind like “I should,” “I can’t,” “I couldn’t,” “I shouldn’t.”

~There is emotional charge we hold, like when our buttons get pressed, or we have a grudge, or we’re still mad at something that happened a while ago. There is the endless litany of judgments, doom and gloom catastrophizing, the fears that have us going to hell in a hand basket …”any day now.” Wow … that shocked me.

~There’s feeling small, powerless, insignificant, and unworthy and the feeling that I am not good enough.

So what do these patterns have in common? Yes, none of them feel good. None of them are attractive or inspiring. They’re real downers. They prevent us from living in present time with joy and spaciousness; they prevent us from seeing through the clutter of life to new beginnings.

Ask yourself, what are some of the “faces” you put on? When you do this, be honest to the core. You are not in judgment. There is no right or wrong. Let it go and watch what happens. Most importantly, remember you are doing this clutter picking up only for you and no one else. Laughter goes a long way when you are clutter busting.

2. Recognize the symptoms of clearing the clutter

~There are many ways that the body, mind and spirit process old stuff that rises to the surface as we clear. This is how the ego copes with the idea of letting go and having to feel “those feelings.”

~Prepare yourself. Don’t allow judgments to lead you off your mission.  Remember: This is the “clutter part” of your mind talking, not the real you! The first step is to try not to give in to all that chatter and noise.

– Celebrate in knowing that when you are clutter clearing, it changes you from the inside out and then from the outside in. You know how you feel when you have cleaned out from underneath your bed, you actually sleep better at night. There are studies related to having a better night’s sleep when we don’t have negative energy underneath us.

So, a few great questions to ask yourself during this process are: “How am I feeling right this minute? How’s my breathing? Am I feeling calmer now than I did before I began clearing the clutter, or am I feeling more jangled and agitated?

A good practice to remember is, do nothing. Just allow. You are not in self judgment; you’re in the spaciousness of self discovery.

3. Resolve that everything needs a place. There are obvious reasons for giving everything a home, of course. Having a place for everything helps us keep things in order and find them again. It helps us get to the car in the morning without tripping over physical and emotional clutter.

~Giving things a home helps us know when we have too much stuff. For example, finding zero space in the bookcase to jam another paperback, or zero coat hangers to hang the new outfit we just bought on sale gives us instant feedback that something has to give or something has to go.

~Housing things properly holds us accountable and keeps us out of the chaos of clutter. But there is more going on here than the obvious. Giving an object that we use and love a dedicated space recognizes its purpose and honors its value to us.

~Creating space for our inner energies and essence needs a dedicated space too. This may be an area of your life you have neglected for a long time. You may have to sweep a few cobwebs out and clean the glass to see clearly. The best way to manage spacious self time is to dedicate a place and time each day for at least 15 minutes and work your way up. You will become your best helper if you follow this as a clearing practice.

Try this on for size: look around and notice if there is something that has not yet been put away. How does this make you feel? How does your body feel, how does your inner self feel? Now, go and find a place for those items that need a home.

After you’ve completed this, ask yourself: How hard was that really? What does it feel like to consciously place this thing where it belongs? How does the room feel now? And, of course … how does your energy, your emotions, feel inside?

As human beings we affect our surroundings all the time: – our homes, our neighbor’s homes, our workplaces, where we shop – in ways you can’t even begin to know. Remember, anything you do every day, no matter how small, gets the energy moving in your spacious life, inside and out. Though there’s no predicting what amazing wonders you’ll discover in the process, one thing I can say is that the more you clear the clutter, the easier, juicier, and more fun it is to live in spaciousness.

Clearing the clutter indicates that all emotional patterns, joyful and otherwise, deeply influence the spaces we inhabit. Negative thoughts and stressful lifestyles create an energetic residue, and depending on how much emotional charge they carry, they can literally “stick” around for years. Happiness, too, leaves its own abundant joys and yumminess.

In the weeks and months to come, notice if your sense of ease, peace, or joy has any effect on your home, a friend, a colleague, or even a loved one. Notice how your state of being affects the world around you, and how the world, in turn, mirrors you back to you. Don’t forget our clearing energies are contagious and we own what frequencies we put out into the world. Always remember to stop and feel as part of your ongoing lifelong spaciousness of clearing.

Starting Over, Starting New

December 30, 2013 by Cindy Hively

I am so fortunate to live in a part of the country where I experience seasonal changes. Each Season, each Moon and Sun cycle, each Equinox and Solstice, each ebb and flow have been opportunities to start anew, to learn more about who I uniquely am and to celebrate with flow and creativity. What nature has taught me the most is that every moment is new. Wow … every moment is new. I have chills putting this into words. What a miracle to live moment by moment in newness, and from our Rhythms.

This past year as I have been observing and living in rhythm with nature, it has become very beneficial to my health and well-being. Living in harmony with nature is not a new idea, it is one of the foundations of Eastern Medicine and was also the basis for health before society became too busy and stressed to feel the body’s rhythms. Fighting or not listening to our rhythms throws us out of balance into a state of dis-ease.

As we go into the New Year, by observing the changes that take place during the winter season, we can attune ourselves to a healthier winter. Leaves have fallen off the trees providing nutrients for the soil, plants pull their sap and nutrients back into their roots, days are shorter, life slows down, some animals hibernate, nature withdraws into itself, the earth rests. Winter is a time of regeneration.

I have embraced the New Year and Winter Rhythms. Winter should be a time of personal growth, a time to go within, a restful break, a time to replenish energy for the start of the “growing” season, Spring. The shorter days that winter provides should be used as an opportunity to get more rest, sleep and dreams. Personal growth requires a lot of quiet time and solitude. Solitude is always an interesting period in our lives. It can be a time of independence, loneliness or a time of reflection and growth, the choice is ours. Winter is the time to go within. Time spent alone has the ability to open creativity. It allows us to become our real selves, true to ourselves. A time to explore who we really are, our strengths and weaknesses. We are all complete as we are, but we don’t usually realize it.

No one can provide true happiness for another person. True joy and happiness come from within when we take the time to be ourselves, to discover who we are. If we use this quiet time to reflect on the past, but not cling to it, we are able to see where we are and where we may be heading. We realize how we’ve changed, what we’ve learned and how we’ve grown by past experiences. Sometimes the smallest steps in our development are created by the hardest lessons of the past. Recognizing difficult times as just that allows us to release and forgive, to move on. Obstacles along our path provide a stopping point, a time to slow down and reflect. We are all given the strength to remove or move around the obstacle.

When we take time to be introspective, we ask, What is important to us? What do we choose to create? Who am I? These questions are vital for a life that expresses peace and deep connection. Winter gives us hope that what we create can be different. Strange that in Winter’s seeming dormancy lie the seeds of great change and newness. So here we are at Winter, with her unique rhythms. Obviously we can feel that life has slowed down within us and around us on the outside. What are a few ways we can keep in rhythm with all that we are and want to explore? 

This is my creative newness list for keeping in and with the rhythms of Winter. I know I could add many more items to my list, but these are my top ten loves and joys. Creating a list makes me feel at home within my own being. It is a fresh start. A new beginning to discovery.

1. Winter walks, finding moments of gratitude

2. Making my own teas through nature’s goodness

3. Aromatherapy and essential oil healing

4. Writing cards to be delivered by mail

5. Visiting family and friends, building stronger relationships

6. Preparing for Spring planting

7. Watching a snowfall by the window in the darkness

8. Creating new recipes and baking

9. Going to my cabin for a day every week

10. Making a new checklist for staying healthy and thriving

When you create a list, you want to be sure that whatever you put on your list are things that make you feel connected to your joys, your essence, your truest self. They need to feel effortless and nourishing. This isn’t another to-do list. This is a list that brings you to delicious moments you savor and can’t do without.

Allowing ourselves to move with the rhythms of Winter, we are not idle. Anything but. We know that in every relationship (with our self, others, nature, seasonal rhythms) there is a time for activity and a time for reflection. Reflection can be hard work if we do it right. We should ask intentional questions of ourselves, delve deeper than we have ever gone before. Understand who we are and our connection to life. It is in this way that the newness and creativity are vibrant and vital. Nature has the balance of its rhythms down to an art. I hope you can do the same!

Enjoy the Winter …

 

How to Embrace Change

August 31, 2013 by Cindy Hively

Fotolia_51617268_Subscription_XXLThe idea of Embracing Change comes into our lives many times. The question is, do we embrace those changes or do we hide from them? Change usually comes swiftly, and when it is difficult, how truly prepared are we? We seem to embrace good change with happiness and gratitude; difficult change makes us want to hide under the covers. I have witnessed and experienced both, just as you have. Job loss, losing a loved one, illness, break-ups, family and friend situations that can leave us feeling stuck and keep us from living the life we desire and deserve.

The most significant life-altering change I have ever experienced happened to me four years ago at this exact time. It was a hot September day when I was told by my doctor that I needed to permanently quit my job due to the seriousness of being diagnosed with Lupus and several other chronic illnesses. As if I had left my body and was watching myself from across the room, I could feel the life being sucked out of me.. A few minutes passed before I was able to gather myself together in one piece again. My husband was asking me questions, and I was just sitting there with tears rolling down my cheeks in a daze.

Five months later when I, in a profound truth, accepted the fact that nothing lasts forever and change is part of life, I became better equipped for the journey. Struggle occurs when we resist reality. So the best way to end the struggle is to embrace the impermanence of life. Enjoy the good, and remember that the not-so-good times are just temporary. The light will appear at the end of the tunnel, it is bound to happen, you just need simple practices that bring you home to your truest self.

How to embrace change:

1. Don’t do anything, just sit still and be silent.

If you’re facing a massive rescaling of your life, your first impulse will be to go into a whirring spin of activity and mind chaos, which is exactly what I did right after I was diagnosed. I later discovered there’s a lot of value in sitting quietly and being with yourself in thought instead. You need to allow yourself periods of silence to find clarity and resolve.

 2. Listen to your wise heart.

When others know we are going through a change, it seems they become experts on what we need to do. Advice comes: what we should do, what we shouldn’t do. It can be frustrating. I am not saying we don’t need support from others, we do … what I am saying is to listen to your inner voice and listen from your heart. Your heart guides you. You become very intuitive. You gain more confidence to question what is best. You learn to begin over exactly where you are.

3.  Learn to live with uncertainty.

Allowing life to unfold in the present will keep you from worrying over questions and solutions that may never even evolve. This is also a great way to add creativity and newness to your life. You might feel anxious, but that does not signal that you’re doing something wrong, only that you’re trying something new. Uncertainty when used as a tool opens up so many possibilities we never even knew existed.

4. Shed your old skin.

Discard physical clutter, tired ideas, old routines. Seek out a coach or mentor … seeing things through another’s eyes can help. This is one of the most helpful practices I embraced. I learned practices that still serve me well today. I continue to cultivate practices I learned over three years ago (mindfulness, meditation, breath practice, daily ritual and so many more).

5. Ignore your inner reptile.

There’s a part of the human mind that is often referred to as the “lizard brain,” because it existed in the earliest land animals. The lizard brain is concerned with survival; it likes the tried and true so it’s likely to pipe up at any time, flooding you with adrenaline warnings of “Danger!” This was a handy function to have when deviating from the familiar path to the watering hole. But in the modern world it’s based within our ego and emerges when we feel fearful of things that are out of our control or by mind sets we pay attention to that have no thought or reasoning. It is our flight or fight instinct. Learn to ignore these thoughts, or talk to them and watch them go … pouf!

6. Learn self-care, self-compassion, self-love.

This is another one of my favorite practices, maybe indeed my favorite. Start learning how to become your own best friend, and be gentle with yourself. When familiar routines suddenly change, it can seem as if all your ideals are gone. For a while after I lost my health, I had the sense that I was in a free fall. I lost my identities that were so inner twined. While absorbing the shock of the new, it’s crucial to make yourself feel well taken care of. Put yourself first, not in a selfish way, but in a self-full way.

The ability to go from resisting change to embracing change can happen. It may not happen overnight, but that is okay. You are the only one who can make the choice to resist or embrace change. The next time you are faced with an experience which causes your reality to change, take a deep breath and take a step back. It is okay to be concerned or frustrated, you are human after all. Once the emotions have calmed down, just remember … we are all works in progress.

Breathing Through the Heart

June 17, 2013 by Cindy Hively

CindyTNWhat do you think of when you hear the word heart? I think of a big red heart shape, I think of love, I think of happiness, also the heart in my physical Being that pumps blood and sustains me and keeps me living. I remember hearing, especially in my youth, the phrase, “think with your brain and not with your heart.” It has taken me many years, experiences and life lessons to tell you I had it all backwards, and so did so many others and still do. If you’re reading this, you’re like me: you want to live a healthier, happier, more purposeful, fulfilled life, a life filled with meaning and that is not always rational. You are seeking a life that blissfully beats your heart from the deepest depths of your very being.

So many times we are so far from our heart because our mind has taken over, and not in good ways. As an Awakened Living Mentor and Health Coach, I listen daily to those who are so tired, frustrated with their jobs, living with health issues, trying to keep families together and relationships going. It seems to me that so many of us have lost our way, our ideals, our life purpose and what truly matters to us as an INDIVIDUAL. This is a mindless type of living. The answer to every question, to every desire, to every impulse is within your heart. Your energetic, vibrant beating heart is so vast it can hold the entire universe. But how do you access the power, clarity, insight, love, and peace of heart-full living? Let’s journey together, shall we?

Deepak Chopra says, “Only the heart knows the correct answer to life.” Most people think the heart is mushy and sentimental. But it’s not. The heart is incredibly intuitive, at times it may not even seem rational, but the heart has a computing ability that is far more accurate and far more precise than anything within the limits of rational thought. The heart is powerful and you have experienced living from the heart already.

What does Living and Breathing from the heart feel like? While taking my morning walk, I will see something in nature that, as soon as my eyes connect with it, it takes my breath away. I will feel this sensation in my heart first, then it moves to my mind, and I give gratitude. I will see a dear friend’s number on my cell phone and get that butterfly feeling in my tummy. When my daughter comes home and I see her pull in the drive way, the emotion beats loud from my heart. I realize a few moments later in my brain that all my woohoo’s, dancing hugs and kisses have embarrassed her, especially if she has brought home a friend. Emotions like these examples are breathing and living from the heart.

I also feel emotional sadness many times in my heart first. I can hear a siren from an emergency responder, and I will feel a gulp in my throat. I then will respond with my mind and drop back into my heart with a Metta Blessing of well being for whatever situation is happening. I remember a short time ago receiving a call from my college girlfriend concerning an illness she was suffering with, and as we talked I could feel my heart drop. I can hear someone I have never met before share their difficulties, and I will choke back tears so I can keep open to best serve them.

Our heart is emotion driven, but that is important to living and breathing in incredible profound truth, OUR truth, not someone else’s or what society dictates, but OUR own unique individual heart breath that lives within each of us. There are three simple practices that when applied to daily life can assist in the process of clearing habitual patterns by bringing energetic harmony and balance to our heart first, then body and mind. I love calling this, “breathing life into a living heart.”

Self-Love

Self-love is living and making choices following the impulses of your inner-heart. This allows you to be guided by your inner wisdom rather than seeking fulfillment externally from need or emptiness or trying to please others or live up to their expectations. It is not a selfish or self-indulgent practice; however, it is a way of living that allows you to develop a connection with your true being or essence. Self-love encompasses loving and caring for yourself. It entails looking within for what you seek rather than relying on the world and others for love, acceptance and recognition.

Meditation – The Gentle Heart Breath

Meditation is a very beneficial tool; however, mystique and confusion surround it as there are so many conflicting and complex ways in which we are supposed to do it, so we think. However, the gentle heart breath mediation is a very simple technique that takes away this mystery. It simply consists of breathing gently.

Meditating three times a day for ten or fifteen minutes upon waking, at lunchtime and before bed is sufficient to bring about beneficial changes. This practice can be done when walking, taking a relaxing bath, by closing your eyes in a comfy chair or while lying down. The gentle heart breath mediation will give you a feeling of equanimity, clarity, calmness and gentleness within the body allowing you to connect to your truest self and essence. In truth, the gentle heart breath meditation reconnects you to your inner heart.

Stillness and Gentleness

At the end of meditation, you will be in a centered state of stillness and gentleness. The key is to gently go about your day and take that stillness with you. When you feel you are becoming uncentered, simply return to the gentle heart breath. You will learn with time it will become easier and more natural to you. Simply focus on the gentle breath and observe yourself, and you will become aware of how quickly you are able to drop back into your heart. Gentleness is the bridge we can use to take us from chaos into love or stillness. Gentleness is achieved through the practice of staying centered.

Now that you know that somewhere inside yourself you have the answers to living your life with joy, love, far less stress, clarity and the ability to live from your heart, it takes practice. It takes daily practice and gentle commitment. When making any kind of lifestyle change, allow yourself time to adjust. Practice makes progress, not perfection. Now, go take a gentle HEART BREATH.

Ahhhh….

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