A safe harbor where beliefs are respected and kindness prevails.

Reflections – Winter 2014

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It seems like I’ve lived my life on a roller coaster of emotion. Up one day, down the next. Sometimes twisting around curves certain that at the other end is an experience so worrisome that I didn’t even notice where I really was at that given moment.

Whether we’re having the same experience over and over again, or it feels like the other shoe is about to drop, we want off this ride. Where is the peace, the joy, the wonderful life that we are meant to have?

What I’ve come to realize is that when I quit focusing on what isn’t going the way I thought it should, I can actually see what is. We didn’t come here to live the perfect life. We had that before we were born. (Okay, that assumes you believe that you’re a soul having a human experience.) What we have is the ability to experience the miracle of being human, and being human means there is joy and pain, happiness and misery, suffering and relief. None of those conditions are permanent anymore than life is.

If we choose to appreciate the experience, regardless of whether we consider it “good” or “bad,” we discover that life isn’t a roller coaster. It’s an amazing journey and exactly what we hoped for.

Reflections – Fall 2014

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_MG_2725I’ve worn glasses all my life, and last month mine needed to be sent back to the manufacturer to be repaired. At my age seeing anything close up without help is, well, nearly impossible. After all I read and write for a living. So out came an old pair (that I had to dig through boxes to find). Wearing them for a week, it turned out, provided clarity for my life, in spite of my blurry vision.

It’s no secret that I’ve experienced a series of life-changing events. With the exception of my marriage, every other part of my life has been turned upside down in these last five years. What was important to me before . . . in my career, my climbing-up-the-ladder days . . . was gone in an instant. My security, my confidence, my peace of mind were all based on my job and what it enabled me to do.

As I moved through the last few years of turmoil, I judged my now by my past. When I put those old glasses on, it became blatantly clear to me that they didn’t work very well anymore . . . and, likewise, looking at my current life through the lens of my past doesn’t either.

What I thought or did before may have brought me to this point, but it is what I choose to see right now that enables me to be happy, now. And now is all that matters.   Because now is when I can make a difference.

You Can Get A Lot Done In An Hour

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(It took less than that to write this post.)

writers blockBelieve it or not there are times in my life when I can be quite the procrastinator. I bet most of you reading this have had your moments. The past few months I have been struggling with writer’s block. I’m not sure if it’s the beautiful weather, the lunar cycle, or what, but I have had a hard time shaking it. So when deadlines hit I procrastinate, putting it off until the very last minute. (If Cheryl Maloney, Publisher of Simple Steps Real Change Magazine, is reading this, she will verify that!) Some say that this “condition” is more of a “writing procrastination” than writers block. Either way, it’s time to practice what I preach and move on.

What would I tell a client or one of my children that might be procrastinating about anything?   Stop! Okay, to most people who would be too easy. In that case, I offer them the following 7 tips, which, by the way, I have begun to re-practice myself!

7. Timing – Allow yourself ample time to do the thing you need to do. (For me it was less than an hour!) Set the timer. When the timer goes off, get up and walk away. (Just like they do on the cooking shows.)

6. Trigger – What’s the trigger that’s causing your procrastination? Why are you avoiding it? Is it a fear of failure, self-doubt, and feelings of not good enough? Look at past successes to help you eliminate those triggers.

5. Perfectionism – Release the notion that it “has to be perfect”. Sometimes your “okay stuff” is your publisher’s perfect piece. Let someone else do the edits; that’s probably what they get paid for.

4. Space – Create or find a comfortable space to write in, a space that inspires you. Maybe it’s nature, maybe it’s a coffee shop, and maybe it’s your kitchen table. Try a few places out and see where you connect the best, where you get the most done.

3. Prioritize – Tackle the hard stuff early. Make a list beginning with the most challenging or daunting task and start there. Once it’s complete you will feel a genuine sense of accomplishment which might make diving into the rest a little more enticing.

2. Eliminate distractions – Close the door and leave our phone in the other room. Don’t even think about opening email, Facebook or any other type of Soulcial Media platform, until you’ve finished your task. In fact, make that a reward of sorts. Remove as many distractions from our surroundings before you begin.

1. Just do it! That’s right, like the Nike ad suggests. Just do it! Jump in. The sooner you get it done, the better you will feel!

As you can see, these suggestions apply to almost any area of your life that you might be procrastinating about something. When none of these work, eat chocolate. J

 

Reflections – June 2014

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Mt-Hood-ReflectionRegret and worry. In my life I’ve had more than my share, and they have robbed me of the ability to enjoy my life.   The funny (ok, sad) thing about regrets and worries is they are self-inflicted. There is no person or thing outside of us that can ever force us to experience them.

If you find yourself falling into that “blue” space of worry and regret, be ok with that. When we allow ourselves to feel what we feel, then we have the ability to release it … to let it go and clear a path to living in the now.

When it comes to enjoying life now … for me at least … it means giving myself permission to set aside the regrets and worries. And by appreciating all the blessings I do have in my life, right now, I realize that there is more to life than what I have allowed to hold me back. Therein lies peace and power.

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