A safe harbor where beliefs are respected and kindness prevails.

Profoundly Human

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LonelinessFor the last 10 days I’ve been training for my job, far away from my home.  At some point I had to become gainfully employed to support myself.  I know it was the best thing for me to do.

I feel lucky that my instructors are fun, kind and compassionate people.  They’ve made this trip more bearable because being away from home is just not what I wanted or needed so shortly after Jack’s death.  But life goes on and sometimes we have to pull on our big girl (or boy) pants and go on with it.

Being in a hotel room has amplified my sadness.  I can’t pick up the phone or Skype with Jack about my day, laugh about teaching an old dog new tricks or even complain about the heat.  We use to talk about everything and like any long-married couple we understood each other. But I can’t talk to him… and my loneliness is heartbreaking even to me.  So I cry.

The truth is that I am OK with my tears, with my sadness and even with being alone.  I had a wonderful marriage to the love of my life.  I was blessed and am blessed for having Jack in my life for 36 years.  What I am experiencing now is, well, just part of life.   And isn’t that why we are here in the first place?  To have this physical experience?  There was never a promise that this life would be all roses and sunshine anymore that it would be all doom and gloom.

I need to glean every bit of experience that I can in this lifetime and my pain is part of that.  I don’t have to like it but somehow I’m going to figure out how to appreciate it.  At some point I’ll be grateful for all of it… the tears, the sadness, and the loneliness… even if at the moment I cuss the seemingly unfairness of it.

As I sit here, alone,  at this moment my promise to myself is that I won’t stop living because I’ve loved and lost.  I will live because I was blessed to have Jack in my life and to witness the courage of his life.   I will live because that is what I came here to do. I will be happy again because I know that is the choice I will make for me.  All of this makes me profoundly human.  And I’m OK with that too.

As always, Cheryl

Gratitude: The Quickest Way to Boost your Mood

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When you arise in the morning, give thanks for the morning light, for your life and strength. Give thanks for your food and the joy of living. If you find no reason for giving thanks, the fault lies in yourself – Tecumseh, Shawnee Native American Leader

One of the quickest ways to welcome more happiness and optimism into your life is to practice gratitude. Gratitude is a feeling we experience by noticing, and being thankful for, the blessings in our life. It can greatly transform our overall feelings of well-being. People who regularly practice gratitude experience better physical and mental health. We cannot experience negative emotion if we are feeling thankful. Gratitude is accompanied by feelings of peace and joy; it has the potential to change our thoughts from lack to abundance.

Anyone can adopt a practice of gratitude. At first it may feel uncomfortable, even insincere, but overtime it becomes easier and much more natural. What we focus on expands, and when we choose to notice our blessings we find more things to be thankful for. You can instantly experience more gratitude in this moment by appreciating the simple things that so many of us take for granted. Appreciate the fresh water that you drink, the warmth of the sun, the air that you breathe. Notice small acts of kindness, like someone holding the door for you, or buying your morning coffee. Practice looking people in the eye and genuinely saying “thank you”. Be specific in your praise. Something as simple as saying to a waitress “thank you for your great service” will help boost their mood as well as your own. Take note of how the feeling of gratitude affects your body. Where do you feel gratitude? What thoughts strongly evoke feelings of gratitude? Practice these thoughts often.

Beginning and ending your day with a gratitude practice will evoke feelings of peace and joy. In the morning, before you get out of bed, take time to be grateful for the day ahead. Be thankful for the fun day at work, or the interesting conversation with a friend. Saying thank you in advance helps to set a positive tone for the day. So often people dread getting out of bed because they are worried about the things that might go wrong throughout the day; instead, practice being grateful for things going smoothly. At the end of each day, when you are lying in bed, think of the best thing that happened that day and say “thank you”. Often times people use the time before bed to reflect on what went wrong throughout their day; what someone said to offend them, how they were disrespected, lied too, etc. Or people spend the time mentally preparing a to-do list for tomorrow. Using this time to reflect on what you are grateful for will help you fall asleep in a positive state of mind.

Gratitude is a way of approaching life. It is a choice we make to focus on the good in each day. Post a list of blessings in your room, and choose to look at it often. Carry a list of blessings in your purse or pocket and look at it when you are feeling down. When we are thankful for what we have, we make room for more good things to come into our experience.

Life Lessons In Disguise

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When things are going well, it is easy to remain optimistic. We need only look around to observe the good in our lives. The challenge is remaining positive during difficult times, finding meaning in life’s obstacles. When we are faced with hardships, it is easy to become overwhelmed and question, “Why me?” or “What have I done to deserve this?” But what if there is something valuable to be gained in these challenging times? What if hardships provide us with invaluable lessons that make us stronger, wiser, and enable us to grow emotionally and spiritually? Often, perceived mistakes become our biggest blessings and a difficult situation our greatest opportunity for growth.

The question then becomes, “How do I keep the faith during challenging times?” “How do I trust that perceived mistakes can be blessings in disguise?” An important first step is believing there is a greater order and purpose to life than we see in the present moment, having faith in a higher power, and trusting that the universe or God can help us make peace with difficult times. Believing there is an ebb and flow to life can help us appreciate the “good” and the “bad” and see the value in both. A second step we can take is practicing self-care. When we are feeling down, we often turn to comfort foods and neglect our workout program when this is precisely the time we would benefit the most from looking after ourselves. Make sure you are getting adequate rest and exercise and eating a healthy diet; your body needs the extra care and love. Lastly, adopting a mindset of gratitude can be transformative. It shifts our focus from what has gone wrong to everything that is going right. If we expand our definition of gratitude, we may find ourselves becoming grateful for life’s challenges.

If you are able to keep the faith during difficult times, you will be able to look back on your life and appreciate the lessons, and even the many blessings, that are present in all your experiences. Perhaps losing your job encouraged you to start your own business and pursue what you are passionate about. The loss of a relationship led you to look within and learn more about yourself and what you want from life. The death of a loved one led you to explore your spiritual beliefs and come to an understanding that we are more than our physical bodies.
In order to receive these important life lessons, we must be open-minded, not get so wrapped up in our current situation that we fail to see the possibilities that surround us, challenge our definition of what it means to live a meaningful life, and understand that within every experience there is a life transforming lesson we can choose to receive.

Enjoying Life by Living In The Moment

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SMK1Often, when it comes to personal development, we become so focused on watching our thoughts and our words and implementing Divine techniques on what we would like to change in our lives or actively co-create to experience in our future that we forget the most important part of our journey is to enjoy life by being present and live in the moment of NOW!

We spend so much of our conscious time either clearing away and healing the past or creating our magnificent future that we forget to take the time to connect with this beautiful moment of right here, right now. Take a few minutes, preferably in one of your favorite spaces, and take in a deep diaphragmatic breath. Pause and take in another one. Do this a couple more times. Ahhhh!

Notice:

  • How do you feel: emotionally, mentally, and physically?
  • How is your breathing? Is it relaxed or labored?
  • What do you see around you? Colors? Shapes?
  • What textures are in this space?
  • What sounds do you hear within, nearby, and afar?
  • What aromas are in the air?
  • What elements of Nature are you surrounding yourself with?
  • Who are you sharing your cherished life with?

This moment that you are experiencing right now … is a priceless gift! This is you being consciously present and living in the moment of NOW! This is where you experience your core-essence of Being that is innately who you are.

The path to enjoying a fulfilled life, which is your Divine birthright, is to celebrate this beautiful moment by offering gratitude and appreciation for who you are, what you have, where you are, and with those you are so blessed to share your journey with in this moment of time. Hence, the proverbs “stop and smell the roses”and “count your blessings.”It’s experiencing the beauty of your journey along the way versus achieving the goal or reaching the final destination of desire.

Being conscious of your blessings in this moment is the greatest honor you can offer your Creator and all the trail blazers who came before you. This is also the most auspicious time to connect within to your Higher-Self, Guides, and Angels to receive Divine guidance and inspiration, for the Universe loves and blesses a thankful heart.

The next time you enjoy one of your domestic amenities: an indoor warm shower or hot bath, the dishwasher, refrigerator, stove, your vacuum cleaner, washer and dryer, a long drive in your vehicle, clean running water, electricity or your cell phone, telephone, or computer to connect with your loved ones or business …remember, it wasn’t long ago that these everyday simplicities were only the burning desires of our pasts dreamers, inventors, and explorers wanting to bring forth luxury as a basic essential for the highest-good of all, including you and future generations.

You are immensely blessed in this very moment. Delight in the energetic flow that you are safe, powerful, perfect, balanced, and complete. Trust in the knowing that you are meant to live a life fulfilled with health, love, prosperity, beauty, laughter, joy, creativity, and right-relationships with everyone you encounter.

Your power to dance in life’s abundance is by being fully present and living in this moment right here, right now. Enjoy!

Namaste’

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