Have you ever had a thought, a conversation or an experience that you can’t get out of your mind? Usually they are negative thoughts that persist despite all the other good in life that really should be taking precedence for us. Why is it that that one negative overshadows all that is good?
The short answer is… because we let it.
Why do we let it? Because there is some part of us that believes it – might – be true. It doesn’t matter if it is true or not we second guess what we think, feel or believe and usually because someone else said it out loud. Now it’s stuck playing in our heads. How do we stop the negative thoughts that someone else imprints on us?
First, don’t resist it. I don’t know about you but if I tell myself not to think about it that is exactly what I do think about. Instead take a few minutes and do nothing but think about it. Give yourself the time to acknowledge its existence. For some people that may be enough to release the grip the thought has.
Next, if the thought persists then take the time to analyze what it is about it that bothers you the most. Is it because of who said it, how it was said or what was said? Is it the last straw on top of a string of negative thoughts you’ve been having lately? In your heart do you believe it or because you’re in a place of transition in your life you’re not yet strong enough in your beliefs to dismiss it easily? Don’t try and resolve the thought at this point. This is merely the time to understand if fully.
Now, distract yourself. Do something you can lose yourself in. Play with your children, watch a fast-paced movie, or perhaps work on a project that requires you to concentrate. Choose something that doesn’t give you time to think about anything else. The point of this step is to force yourself out of your own head and to broaden your perspective. This step enables you to see that you can move on from it.
Anything you resist, persists. And… Anything you try and bury will surface when you need it least. If instead you acknowledge it and make the effort to understand it you can move on from it. Sure you may have to make a conscious effort to think differently but when you choose to think, feel and act differently you develop a strength that serves you well. The negative thought, did not.
With love, Cheryl