A safe harbor where beliefs are respected and kindness prevails.

Attitude – A Matter Of Choice!

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Attitude

Attitude is a small thing that makes a big difference! – Winston Churchill

Several years ago my husband gave me a beautiful gift: a decorative jar filled with 365 tiny sheets of paper. Each piece had a question. Some questions were deep, others were simple. A year later, I returned the gift in the form of a book titled, “The Blisstory Journal” and offered him many of those same questions to answer.

One of my favorite questions in the book is: “How do you describe your attitude?”

Most of you know by now, my attitude is pretty darn “blissful”, hence the title, “The Bliss Lady”. I remain connected to my inner state of joy quite easily. I’m not perfect at it by any means. In fact, my husband and daughter will testify to that.

Although I do have my moments, it’s how I pull myself out of that spiral that counts! (Notice the word “moments”.) For me it’s simply a matter of choice. I get to choose how I will act or react to whatever crosses my path. Guess what – so do you! We all have a choice, no matter what the circumstance.

As I grow older, witnessing our children blossom into adulthood, I see more than ever the importance of having a grounded attitude. It becomes more important than your education, your income level, and your past perceived failures; certainly more important than what people think of you.

Every minute of every day we are offered a choice regarding what we will do with our attitude. I’ve heard it said that life is 10 percent what happens to you and 90 percent how you react to it. I say, “Life is what happens FOR me and how I react to it is what matters.” Sometimes I need a boost.

Simple attitude boosters

  1. Deep Breathing – Before you react to anything take three slow deep breaths. Of all the tools I’ve learned over the years deep breathing has been the most helpful to me in keeping my “attitude” in check. When I’m feeling extremely reactive I include #2.
  2. Count to 10 – You’ve probably heard that before. Counting aids as a distractor from whatever it is that’s pushing your button with the element of time. The higher you count the less likely you are to react strongly.
  3. Surround yourself in love – When you feel that your attitude is less than joyful take a minute to close your eyes and see yourself surrounded, fully enveloped in the light of love, as if you are receiving a soft, gentle hug.

When it comes to attitude, you always have a choice. So….How do you describe your attitude?

P.S. Click HERE to visit my website to receive a free copy of The Blisstory Journal!

What If Can’t Is Just A Misspelling?

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Fotolia_58396711_Subscription_Monthly_MIs your vocabulary filled with “can’ts?”  Do you come up with one reason (aka excuse) after another of why you can’t live the way you want to?  Are you discouraged because you believe you can’t have what you want?

What if your “can’ts” are just a typo?  What if you really can?

Can’ts exist because you’ve erroneously decided that you can’t do or have something… and in doing so you’ve squashed your own hopes and dreams.  No one else does that for you… you do it to you.  The cool thing is that you CAN do the exact opposite and  be just as successful at doing as you have been at “can’ting”… if you want to.

For years I told myself I’d never be as successful as my boss, my best friend or even my sister.  The funny thing was I didn’t really want to be what they were.  I didn’t want to be a corporate employee.  I didn’t want to be a nomad and I sure didn’t want to be miserable.  Somehow though I saw myself as less than… but it wasn’t until I realized I didn’t want to be them that I realized I could be the person I wanted to be.

What about you?  What if you dropped the “t” and decided you can:

  • Be happy
  • Take a risk just to see how it works out
  • Decide every morning to do the best you can do
  • Bless the people around you
  • Be grateful for what you do have

And if you do all of those things you’ll also realize that you can take the steps necessary to live your dream, to love without conditions and be a blessing to the world.

You CAN do or be whatever you decide you CAN do!

Circumstances & Choices

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As I was thinking about this first article I shared a post on the Simple Steps Facebook page that said,

Everything you do it based on the choices you make. It’s not your parents, your past relationships, your job, the economy, the weather, an argument or your age that is to blame.  You and only you are responsible every decision and choice you make. Period.

When we’re dealing with the repercussions of another’s decisions, the weather, the economy or anything that isn’t within our control it’s easy to feel like a victim.  After all something else is responsible for the circumstances we are left to deal with.

cmBeing a victim relinquishes responsibility and control over our lives… and it makes us feel weak.  In order to find solid ground through we have to accept our power and that requires a perspective check.  Sure we may not be responsible for what happened to us… but we are totally responsible for what we do now.

This was a hard learned lesson for me but a necessary one in order to heal and move forward in my life.  Here are a few examples from my own life:

  • At age 53 my position was eliminated due to the company being  acquired.  After almost 25 years with the same company I was unemployed.  The economy crashed and I found myself in competition with the 20-somethings coming out of college for a scant few jobs in my field.  I’m still “unemployed.”
  • I took all my retirement savings and invested in the rental housing market.  I hired a property manager who didn’t collect the rents or make repairs.  We ended up with thousands of dollars in repairs, legal costs and ultimately we lost the properties.
  • My dad died suddenly leaving me to care for my elderly, blind mother.

All of these events occurred within a 3 year period of time… the same time Jack was diagnosed with leukemia and treated for cancer.

Yes… the circumstances arose from the actions of others.  What I chose to do about it was totally in my control.  And in each case the bigger factor was my attitude.  For awhile I didn’t want to get out from underneath the covers.  Ultimately I had a choice to make.  Stay in this place of misery or get up and make the best of it.

We can allow ourselves to be buried by the circumstances in our life… and after all… who could blame us?  We didn’t ask for any of this to happen.  But it gets really old  being in a place where people just feel sorry for us.  Even worse as long as we stay in that place we feel bad about ourselves.  The “aha” moment came for me when I realized that while I may not have controlled the circumstance… that event was over.  My living in this place of misery was my choice.

What?  Yep!  I was choosing to feel bad.  No one was forcing me to be.  No one could.   And that’s true for every one of us.

We choose to feel how we feel.  If it’s working for you… go with it.  If it isn’t… choose something better for you. When you realize the power of your choices you will find solid ground.

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