A safe harbor where beliefs are respected and kindness prevails.

Starting Over, Starting New

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I am so fortunate to live in a part of the country where I experience seasonal changes. Each Season, each Moon and Sun cycle, each Equinox and Solstice, each ebb and flow have been opportunities to start anew, to learn more about who I uniquely am and to celebrate with flow and creativity. What nature has taught me the most is that every moment is new. Wow … every moment is new. I have chills putting this into words. What a miracle to live moment by moment in newness, and from our Rhythms.

This past year as I have been observing and living in rhythm with nature, it has become very beneficial to my health and well-being. Living in harmony with nature is not a new idea, it is one of the foundations of Eastern Medicine and was also the basis for health before society became too busy and stressed to feel the body’s rhythms. Fighting or not listening to our rhythms throws us out of balance into a state of dis-ease.

As we go into the New Year, by observing the changes that take place during the winter season, we can attune ourselves to a healthier winter. Leaves have fallen off the trees providing nutrients for the soil, plants pull their sap and nutrients back into their roots, days are shorter, life slows down, some animals hibernate, nature withdraws into itself, the earth rests. Winter is a time of regeneration.

I have embraced the New Year and Winter Rhythms. Winter should be a time of personal growth, a time to go within, a restful break, a time to replenish energy for the start of the “growing” season, Spring. The shorter days that winter provides should be used as an opportunity to get more rest, sleep and dreams. Personal growth requires a lot of quiet time and solitude. Solitude is always an interesting period in our lives. It can be a time of independence, loneliness or a time of reflection and growth, the choice is ours. Winter is the time to go within. Time spent alone has the ability to open creativity. It allows us to become our real selves, true to ourselves. A time to explore who we really are, our strengths and weaknesses. We are all complete as we are, but we don’t usually realize it.

No one can provide true happiness for another person. True joy and happiness come from within when we take the time to be ourselves, to discover who we are. If we use this quiet time to reflect on the past, but not cling to it, we are able to see where we are and where we may be heading. We realize how we’ve changed, what we’ve learned and how we’ve grown by past experiences. Sometimes the smallest steps in our development are created by the hardest lessons of the past. Recognizing difficult times as just that allows us to release and forgive, to move on. Obstacles along our path provide a stopping point, a time to slow down and reflect. We are all given the strength to remove or move around the obstacle.

When we take time to be introspective, we ask, What is important to us? What do we choose to create? Who am I? These questions are vital for a life that expresses peace and deep connection. Winter gives us hope that what we create can be different. Strange that in Winter’s seeming dormancy lie the seeds of great change and newness. So here we are at Winter, with her unique rhythms. Obviously we can feel that life has slowed down within us and around us on the outside. What are a few ways we can keep in rhythm with all that we are and want to explore? 

This is my creative newness list for keeping in and with the rhythms of Winter. I know I could add many more items to my list, but these are my top ten loves and joys. Creating a list makes me feel at home within my own being. It is a fresh start. A new beginning to discovery.

1. Winter walks, finding moments of gratitude

2. Making my own teas through nature’s goodness

3. Aromatherapy and essential oil healing

4. Writing cards to be delivered by mail

5. Visiting family and friends, building stronger relationships

6. Preparing for Spring planting

7. Watching a snowfall by the window in the darkness

8. Creating new recipes and baking

9. Going to my cabin for a day every week

10. Making a new checklist for staying healthy and thriving

When you create a list, you want to be sure that whatever you put on your list are things that make you feel connected to your joys, your essence, your truest self. They need to feel effortless and nourishing. This isn’t another to-do list. This is a list that brings you to delicious moments you savor and can’t do without.

Allowing ourselves to move with the rhythms of Winter, we are not idle. Anything but. We know that in every relationship (with our self, others, nature, seasonal rhythms) there is a time for activity and a time for reflection. Reflection can be hard work if we do it right. We should ask intentional questions of ourselves, delve deeper than we have ever gone before. Understand who we are and our connection to life. It is in this way that the newness and creativity are vibrant and vital. Nature has the balance of its rhythms down to an art. I hope you can do the same!

Enjoy the Winter …

 

Navigate Through Life-Changing Transitions

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Hand and butterfly hand painting, tattoo, over a blue skyThe intention of this article is to guide you through the four stages of every transitional cycle and provide you with strategies to support you as you move through each moment of your experience. Begin the New Year with a deeper understanding of the four stages of life-altering transformation.

Whether you have made the choice or have been forced to significantly alter your life, understanding how to navigate your transition will save you from the discomfort of twisting in the wind. This is it. This is your one and only precious life. You can’t afford to waste a moment looking over your shoulder. Take the lead and navigate through your change with awareness, honesty and as much grace as you can call up.

The first stage of any significant transition begins with some pain and discomfort. You know a radical change is coming, but you might not be sure what to do about it. Chances are you will be down in the dumps. You may feel frightened, angry, uncertain, or like you’re reeling out of control. During my career transition, I remember feeling completely lost in a fog and freaked out by the fact that the ideals around which my whole former life had been built were no longer acceptable.

During this challenging first stage, I recommend staying with your regular, comfortable routines. When you are swimming in a black hole of uncertainty, the best thing you can do is create a nurturing luscious list focused on self-care. Try to cut back on extraneous commitments at home or work, and take the time to be gentle with yourself.

Items on your luscious list might include: inspirational reading, watching a magical sunset, choosing fresh-cut flowers for your desk or dining room table, playing on a swing set, soaking in a hot bath, listening to great music, practicing yoga or Tai Chi, playing outside with your family, preparing a tasty meal, or writing in a gratitude journal. Joyful activities like these help to balance out the stress and anxiety of a significant change.

While you’re nurturing yourself through your discomfort, remember that nurturing is not running away from your reality. Look in the mirror, and be honest about what’s happening inside. Accept the fact that you’re suffering, but don’t accept that your suffering is permanent. Ask yourself what really separates where you are from where you want to be. Honesty is key to healing and flowing through a monumental change.

The second stage of transition involves deep introspection. You may start to withdraw from the world, retreating into a safe and private emotional space. Initially, this might be a way to protect yourself from the pain and uncertainty you’re feeling, but this retreat can also allow you to begin to let go of old patterns and behaviors which stand in the way of your positive transition. You may feel contemplative, curious, spiritual, detached, or highly emotional – sometimes all at the same time.

Writing your thoughts in a journal is a good activity to try at this stage, especially if you’re feeling withdrawn and are having trouble talking to the people around you. If you’re still unclear about where you’re really going, try making a simple compare/contrast chart. Fold a piece of paper in half, and label one column “Want” and the other “Don’t want.” Then, fill in the blanks. Knowing what you don’t want is just as important as knowing what you do. It helps you set boundaries and build a solid foundation for your ideas.

Another helpful suggestion is to spend time in nature, soaking up the beauty of your surroundings. Plan to take a walk along the beach, hike in the woods, or visit a local park. Allow yourself plenty of time to heal from the pain and anguish of the first transitional stage.

Remember that the second stage of transition is about healing and nurturing your mind, body and soul, but it’s also a time for examination. Find the activities that keep you focused, not distracted, and don’t be afraid of the deep work. Becoming who you really are means surrendering to change.

The third stage of transition is a big shift from the first two. It’s filled with positive energy and includes research and exploration in the outer world. When you reach this stage, you are finally starting to feel like you have some direction. You’ve gotten an inkling of what the real nature of your upcoming transition might be. You are ready and eager to move forward, and you are curious about all the new possibilities. You become secure, optimistic, and confident. You are uncovering a new path and ready to walk through the doors of a ripe new opportunity. In this stage you will want to explore the Internet, read about new topics of interest, and continue to write in your journal.

Your discovery period is also the perfect time to explore new connections and talk with trusted confidants. Immerse yourself in the discovery of anything that interests you. Sometimes, even things that are unrelated on the surface can work themselves into your new path in unexpected ways. Allow yourself to play on a brand new playground!

When you have navigated the first three stages – fear and discomfort, going internal, and exploring new frontiers – you are ready to move into the magical stage of creative renewal.

The fourth stage of transition is a good time. When you reach the creative renewal phase, your vision has become clear, and you’re ready at last to create life on your terms. You are highly energized, committed, and optimistic. You are also determined to make significant changes quickly. Things seem to flow quite naturally for you. Mentally and physically you feel unstoppable because you know that everything is possible.

When you experience your creative renewal, allow yourself to be in the flow of the moment. Allow your plans to unfold without force. Become enamored of your new path, hang loose, and enjoy the magic carpet ride! I declared my new path almost eight years ago on New Year’s Eve while surrounded by my friends and family.

Each stage of a significant transition can last from a few weeks to several months. Honoring and caring for yourself, and allowing the process to unfold naturally, will help you move through the difficult stages of transition quickly.

I have navigated the choppy waters of an enormous career and lifestyle transition and have successfully reinvented myself – but I couldn’t have done it without the love and support of my family, friends, and a couple of world-class coaches. No matter what stage of transition you’re in, don’t be afraid to reach out for support. You don’t have to go through your experience alone!

Creating your life on your terms is really about allowing for grace through your next transition.

  • What stage of transition are you experiencing right now?
  • How long have you been in this stage?
  • What do you need to do right now to honor the stage you are experiencing?

The Benefits of Butter….

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raRecently I was faced with making a decision about someone and decided I needed to ponder the situation before doing so.  I decided to “churn it” around, look at it from as many sides as I could to be able to make the best possible decision.

After that process, I made a different decision than was my first impulse.  I came up with a simple saying that I can repeat when I need to stop and take a minute to “do it better.”

“Churn it, then turn it.”

Butter is made by churning sweet cream, moving it and churning it until the delicious butter separates from the cream.  Like mulling something over in your mind, sometimes sleeping on it, giving your thoughts and observations time to mature.  Like the process of churning butter, a certain amount of time is required.  Stopping short of the required time will not result in a good product…bad butter is what you would have!

 In any given situation, people may be trying to squeeze an answer or response out of you before you are ready because it would be more convenient for the other parties involved, but you can’t allow yourself to be forced to give your answer or response until you are ready…so buy some time by simply saying you are not ready to answer that yet.  Or that you are still researching…or that you have made your maximum about of decisions for one day, or that you are doing something else at the moment, or that your dog has fleas…ANYTHING that will by you some time without offending.

So then what is your process? Depending on the situation, consider some of the following thoughts:

  • This situation really has nothing to do with me, I just happened to be there.
  • There is something else going on with this person that I don’t know about.
  • The situation triggered something from their past that has nothing to do with me.
  • There are some unseen pressures on the person that I don’t know about.
  • They are really upset about something else that happened between us previously…and if I think about it, the situation may rise to the surface…like the butter.
  • Perhaps it was something that I said with an emotion I wasn’t aware I was delivering. (I once said “whatever” to my brother, dismissing his thoughts…I wasn’t aware of it until he shared it with me the next morning).
  • Perhaps (like the situation above) they were completely unaware of their effect on me, so I could gently share with them how I was affected.

So in churning around your thoughts, you are really looking at all sides, mixing it all up to better see what is really going on. THEN you can respond from the highest part of your self.  Everything I do is to try to work with that highest part of myself…it is best for me and for everyone around me.  So here is just another trick to stop you if you are about to have a knee jerk reaction to a situation.

Stop.  Churn it, then turn it around…

Now go treat yourself to some toast with yummy butter, and perhaps some holiday jam!  I know you have been thinking about it!

If you have a story to share about how you handled a situation with grace, please share it with me at: voiceofyoursoul@gmail.com.  Perhaps others could benefit from your wisdom!

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