Are you aware of your self-talk? It’s that little voice inside that is babbling to you and guiding your choices and actions. Are you telling yourself your life is fun, adventurous, and joyful? Or do you hear yourself say life is hard, a struggle, and a pain in the you know where? The tricky part is that sometimes this voice is deeply buried, and we are not even conscious of it. Dr. Rick Hansen, psychologist and meditation teacher, wrote a book titled “Buddha’s Brain: The Practical Neuroscience of Happiness, Love, and Wisdom.”He explains what’s possible when we PAUSE and become conscious of our self-talk.
“What modern science is enabling us to do is fantastic and unprecedented because this has never happened before in human history. By neuroscientists peering into the brain, we are starting to increasingly understand the circuits of happiness, love, and wisdom so that we can light up those circuits ourselves. And the way the brain works is, when you light up circuits, you actually strengthen them. There is a saying in neuroscience that ‘neurons that fire together, wire together.’So by stimulating the neuro-basis of happiness, love, and wisdom, you strengthen it so you become centered there and feel increasingly happy, resilient, confident, and caring for others.”
He goes on to say that PAUSING for 30 seconds and actively focusing on positive things will help to rewire the circuit of happiness, love, and wisdom. I loved it that he said 30 seconds. Simple steps can make a big difference. Imagine, only a half minute of intentional focus each day can increase pleasure and happiness.
That focus combined with surrounding yourself with more positive media is helping. Magazines like this one are converting a media focused on sensationalism to a media focused on a sensational and wonderful life of peace and happiness. As we get positive input in places where negative images, news stories, and information have lived, we will be able to create greater health, attract healthier relationships, and nourish our planet.
PAUSE is necessary for us to master and recognize our self-talk. When we stop to notice the voices and become aware of our thoughts, we begin to hear deeper voices. My friend Gerald shared a childhood story with me that illustrates this point with nature. He would go down by the river and sit quietly, communing with the insects and the bugs. He said the longer he quietly sat there, the more different kinds of insects would appear until he was surrounded by spiders, frogs, ants, etc. People who commit to silent meditation retreats will have the experience of more and more inner wisdom being revealed as the days of quiet go by. As you practice the 30-second PAUSE, you will get proficient at accessing the deeper voices and the resulting pleasure.
Another place to reinforce those happiness neurons is by changing what you write in your journal. Consider what your journals contain now. Are they filled with dramas and traumas and all the struggles that you wrote down to process the struggle? To stay on the path of positivity, keep gratitude journals. Keep journals about all your victories. Writing about what’s working well, talking about what’s working well, and thinking about what’s working well creates the intention for things to work well, and then it is easier to manifest things working well.
I’m going to be totally honest with you here. I have had a few days in the last couple years when finding something in my life that felt like it was working well was very difficult. So I’m not here to say that your goal should be a life of perfect pleasure 24/7. Choosing the way of pleasure is the consciousness I live in, and I have even been able to find moments of pleasure when I experience the severe physical pain of Rheumatoid Arthritis. Pain, which contrasts with pleasure, allows you to appreciate painless pleasure. Experiencing the highs and lows creates extraordinary times as long as you return to noticing what works well.
“Eighty percent of what you tell yourself, you believe.”This quote is from my radio guest, Marci Lock. She is President of MarciLock.com and Everlasting Fitness. Marci’s story of losing 70 lbs in three months, with results lasting over six years, has motivated her to become a transformational coach who speaks and teaches her clients how to change their self-talk to boost positive beliefs. When you notice what is working in your life, your belief system changes right along with it.
In order to practice these ideas, I invite you to do the following for at least 2 weeks.
WRITE down 12 things that went well at the end of the day before you get in bed.
Here is a sample list of mine:
- I’m able to take such a nice deep breath.
- I love the way my bangs fall right on my forehead.
- I am feeling good about my exercise.
- The new lotion is working on my red spots.
- Made a basket throwing Kleenex in the trash.
- My chili relleno casserole was a hit.
- I completed chapter 5 today.
- My half-hour nap came at just the right time.
- I washed my sheets today, and they feel wonderful.
- I felt sexy and hot in my halter dress.
- My car started and has been so reliable getting me where I need to go.
- My client base is expanding.
Keep it Simple!
Regret and worry. In my life I’ve had more than my share, and they have robbed me of the ability to enjoy my life. The funny (ok, sad) thing about regrets and worries is they are self-inflicted. There is no person or thing outside of us that can ever force us to experience them.
The question to answer is this: Is my attention present? Consciousness is only ever here now. Thoughts and feelings cannot occur anywhere other than in the present moment. Our physical body exists only in this moment. However, our attention is unfixed in time and space. Our attention drifts away from the present as we experience memories or imagine the future.
Often, when it comes to personal development, we become so focused on watching our thoughts and our words and implementing Divine techniques on what we would like to change in our lives or actively co-create to experience in our future that we forget the most important part of our journey is to enjoy life by being present and live in the moment of NOW!
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