A safe harbor where beliefs are respected and kindness prevails.

Better than Gossip

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Fotolia_55241929_Subscription_XXLThere is a certain thrill when you tell someone something shocking about someone else. There is a sense of power, of knowing something the other person doesn’t know. This “thrill” has been around for thousands of years. So why should we give it up now, why should we change?

There are a lot of reasons to learn to control the urge to gossip.

  1. How temporary is that “thrilling’ feeling and how soon is it followed by a feeling of guilt. What if it isn’t true? What if the person who is the object of the gossip finds out about your idle chatter? What if they are hurt by it? Our consciousness has evolved to a point that these subtle feelings can no longer be ignored.       The discomfort they cause you WILL show up eventually, even if you aren’t totally aware of it. Even if you don’t LIKE the person you are talking about, the price you will pay will be in how YOU feel.
  2. Every word we speak has an energy to it. So when you are speaking bad words about someone, you are surrounding yourself with “bad energy.” Your vibration will shift down a notch and you will have less “glow” about you. It isn’t extreme, but why would you allow the downward shift, even if just a few degrees? At some point in your life, hasn’t someone said to you “You are just glowing today.” Think back about how you were feeling at that moment in time. Most of us cannot actually see people’s aura, but most of us have a subtle sense of when someone’s aura is expanded due to happiness, when they seem to be “glowing.”
  3. Other people who are developing an awareness about the down sides of gossip will move away from you. They may change the subject, find an excuse to leave the room, or just not return your next phone call. This would start to isolate you from people who are on their path to grow, to raise their vibration and the vibrations of those around them. Instead, you become a magnet to those who live in that field of emotional drama. THEY will return your phone calls and in fact feed you with MORE gossip about other people…knowing how much you love it!
  4. You become a more trusted advisor. I know people who I can trust with my deepest secrets, and other people who I KNOW can’t wait to get away from me so they can share my secret with everyone they know, elevating their feeling of power in the community. Not that you want to become counselor to the world, but there is a value in being “trustworthy.” I got caught in a gossip ring at a corporate job I had once and the CEO called me in to ask about it. I denied it at first, but then had to confess. I felt that I had dropped down a notch in his eyes. I felt he could no longer trust me as much as he had before this incident. To this day I am embarrassed by my behavior. It was a very maturing incident in my life.
  5. Master Yeshua (Jesus) said it was a bad thing to do. “Do unto other as you would have done unto yourself.” Many Master Teachers on the planet have said the same thing in their own words. No matter your religious or philosophical training, I’ll just bet you can find a similar statement. In fact, I challenge you to look for one and share it with us! If you find something, please send it to me and I will post in my next column.

For the next two weeks, observe yourself and your feelings if an opportunity for gossip comes up. It might be just as simple as a wisecrack about the way someone is dressed at the grocery store, or a really big story about someone you know. First, see if you can restrain yourself. See how that makes you feel. Then if you give in and do it, see how you feel about 15 minutes later.

These are very subtle energies and feelings, but they can be yet another turning point in your life…UP the path, not DOWN the path!

I do hope to hear from you! Write me at voiceofyoursoul@gmail.com

And have a GREAT week!

30,000 Feet of Perspective

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Fotolia_29594769_Subscription_XLIt had been a lovely Mother’s Day.  The May weather was gorgeous sunny and yet still cool enough to enjoy.  A promising reminder that Spring is finally here.  I had enjoyed church with my family and then a delicious brunch buffet in our small rural Iowa town.  The only problem was it was too short. I had to excuse myself from brunch early to catch a flight.  On the long drive to the airport I was muttering under my breath about what a royal jerk that man is to schedule our conference that we were literally required to fly in the Sunday night of Mother’s Day.  Who does that?  Doesn’t he have a mother?  I was upset for me and my boys to have the special day cut short and to give up special Sunday time for my job.

To top it all off it was a stormy night predicted.  I am not a huge fan of flying. The flight from Chicago to DC started off smoothly, but as we drew closer to DC the lightning started and the wind began throwing the small plane around.  We experienced quite a few ‘joy stick’ drops where it feels like the pilot jerked the control stick down sharply on purpose as we fall what must be thousands of feet through an air pocket. To this day it is still probably the scariest flight I have ever been on.  As the weather intensifies every person around me seems to have a different reaction. Some seem attempting to ignore it, a few people appear to be reading although I can’t imagine how with all those bumps.  A mom holding her child on her lap, an attempt to soothe herself it appears as much as to calm the little boy.

From directly behind me I start to hear sobbing out loud from a woman.  She is sobbing loudly and reciting the Our Father prayer at the same time.  Just over and over, sobbing and repeating the prayer.  Well, I guess maybe I should be more scared than I am at this point! This is visibly upsetting to those around us that can hear her fear shared right out loud.  I silently wish she would stop that.  It is certainly not helping the situation. It is adding to the atmosphere of fear, making it all seem more surreal and as if something bad really is about to happen.  As I feel my own tension rise wondering if it is worse than I think, the large air drops continue as the weather throws us around. As I wonder if we might not make it I hear something quite unexpected break the thick tension.

“Wheee!!!!!  Whooo Hoooo!!!!!   Wheeee!!!!! Do it again!!!!” from a little girl voice.

This is followed by her mom saying “Sush….be quiet darling, people are uneasy honey.”

“Wheee!!!!!  Whooo Hoooo!!!!!   Wheeee!!!!! Do it again!!!! she repeats, doing as little girls will do, ignoring their parents.

I can’t help myself but laugh right straight out loud.

How beautiful a lesson here before us.  We’ve got one woman trying to pray her way out of a certain early death and one row over in the same exact set of circumstances is a child showing complete and utter joy that she literally cannot bear to contain.  She is enjoying the thrilling ride of her life that she doesn’t want to ever stop. Two different people. Same exact circumstances. What a perfect example of how much your perspective matters. Yes, the little girl is absent of the wise adult knowledge of knowing how bad the result could be. But what good does that knowledge do us if we use for negativity? Both the woman and the little girl are going to have contact with other people once they exit the plane. Which one will spread joy and bring smiles? Which one will bring dread and fear?  Both are affecting others on the plane right now in two very opposite ways.

Makes me think about my own perspective. Am I a woman who had her Mother’s Day unfairly cut short or am I simply a very blessed woman to have the opportunity to even be a mother and spend time with those I love most? Am I a woman robbed of my Sunday by some crappy job requirement, or am I a woman proud and happy of my career that has blessed me and my family with many opportunities? Am I going to spread negativity or joy?

What is your perspective doing to you and those around you?  If you are experiencing negativity and blaming your circumstances take another look. Is the filter you are viewing through flawed? How could you look at the situation differently to use it to bring more grace and love to yourself and others?

We can complain because rose bushes have thorns, or rejoice because thorn bushes have roses.  ~Abraham Lincoln

 

 

 

Shortcuts Only Give Short Results

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dave_061--1It would be a fantastic life if all the shortcuts we heard about actually worked. In reality very few ever give the results they promote, and so it goes with the health and wellness industry.

Yes, sadly, the health & fitness industry has a tendency to take advantage of quick fixes. Take this pill, follow this diet, do this workout, and all will be well, you won’t even have to break a sweat.

I’m sorry folks, but the body doesn’t work that way, not when it comes to lasting, long- term health. The body is designed to heal itself when given the basics of health and wellness, and there is no cheating it.

The way to health and wellness may not be wrapped up in some high intensity, glamorous, infomercial with hot bodies showing their results, but it works, it works every time, and it is the way our body’s are designed.

Tried and true, the body responds well with proper nutrition, quality sleep, hydration, quality breathing, exercise, and a proper mindset.

A majority of health issues can be resolved when the body is given the time and basic inputs to heal itself. This can’t be done with pills or quick fixes.

Most people turn to quick fixes out of confusion and despair. They feel they have nowhere else to turn. They feel they’ve tried everything. They are filled with frustration and doubt. When they hear of products or services that will give the results they desire, they fall prey to the quick fix.

Some of these shortcuts, or quick fixes are fat burners, thermogenetics, non-steroidal anti-inflammatories, diuretics, antacids, anti-histamines, and cholesterol lowering drugs, high blood pressure meds,  antidepressants, and the list goes on.

Please understand I believe there is a time and place for the ethical use of some of these drugs under the supervision of a doctor. However, most are over used because we would rather not have to take a long-term approach to healing our bodies. In most cases, many of us feel it is easier to take a pill than put in the effort to clean up our eating, drink more water, start an exercise program, get quality sleep, breathe deep, and condition our minds.

We live in a world that expects instant gratification. We feel we shouldn’t have to work for, or put forth any energy, or time for the results we desire as long as we can pay someone else to do it for us.

Health and wellness comes as a result of a lifestyle, a lifestyle that follows the components of health and wellness. There are no shortcuts.

Short cuts have a way of catching up to us. They never solve the issue, they just put it off.

Don’t fall prey to short cuts. Live a life of health and wellness. If you don’t know what that means then reach out and ask. Take the time to know. I am here to help you on this journey,

I wish for you Vibrant Health!

David E. Fresilli

 

My Four Agreements

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One of my favorite books to reflect with is “The Four Agreements” by Don Miguel Ruiz.  In it, Don Miguel shares what he believes are the 4 principles to practices for personal freedom.  If you’ve never read it, I strongly suggest you do so, especially if you are a parent.  Each one seems simple enough and should have been ingrained in all of us at a young age.

What are Don Miguel’s “Four Agreements”?

~Be Impeccable with your word

~Don’t take anything personally

~Don’t make assumptions

~Always do your best

Teri WilliamsAfter reading “The Four Agreements”, I came up with my own personal list of principles. My personal agreements, as well as Don Miguel’s, are the foundation for living a soul-cially conscious life and have increased my capacity for love, for joy, for bliss. These personal agreements help me to better serve humanity in every way.

tgw personal four agreementsWhat are my Four Agreements?

Live with gratitude. You may have heard me say this before. Make gratitude a way of living. The first thing I do when I wake up in the morning and the last thing I do before sleep is thank the universe for another breath, another day. If being grateful doesn’t come easy to you, begin practicing it slowly, gently, without judgment. Sometimes you might have to look a little harder than others.

Practice Generosity of Spirit. Give of yourself freely, without expectation of anything in return, tangible or intangible. Real generosity is a quality of the spirit that is motivated by love and resides deep within your soul. Give of your time and your talents, especially if you can’t give money. Simply give love and a smile. Sometimes that’s all we have and sometimes that’s all someone needs.

Move your energy. Everything is energy; where and what we put our energy into expands, sometimes beyond measure. When that energy is not moving, it becomes stagnant. Tune in to what both your body and your mind need to thrive, to feel alive, and move your energy in that direction.

Choose Bliss – Live Soul-cially. Yes, we have a choice. Make a conscious choice to create more moments of joy and bliss in your life. What we focus on multiplies. Simply decide to focus more on what’s working in your life and what feels good. You will notice the difference it makes, not just in your life, but the life of those around you.

What are your Four Agreements? Ask yourself what are the most important virtues, characteristics or traits you need to live in harmony with life, to live soul-cially!

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