A safe harbor where beliefs are respected and kindness prevails.

Love Your Life

by

R&S Photo 1This is the inaugural article of “Themes for Life”, a monthly column for Simple Steps, Real Change Magazine. In our column we want to share themes from our lives that we hope will resonate with the overall themes of your life. Life is all about connections – let’s connect! This first article coincides with a big mile-stone in our personal lives. The first week of September marks an important event in our journey together. September 3, 2014, we will celebrate 28 years together. Wow! Now that’s something.

We have shared a lot of adventures in our time together. Early on we sold all of our possessions and back packed through Europe. On our first spiritual quest we moved to Cripple Creek, CO to work for and with the author-astrologer, Linda Goodman. We owned and operated a magical little retail shop in downtown Cincinnati, OH called Lefthanded Moon. For twelve years we ran a manufacturing company that was named for all things beautiful – Vertu. A few years ago we moved to Albuquerque, NM to attend a unique Massage School. Currently we find our call to service as Licensed Massage Therapists, Personal Trainers and Yoga Teachers. We’ve been together through it all – side by side, one picking up the pace when the other was tired or experiencing doubt or fear.   Today, as in the past 28 years, we own only one cell phone; we carry only one wallet and own only one car! Our friends love to tease us about this calling it “THE phone” or “THE wallet”.   How can we do this, you may ask? Well, we are together 24/7.  That’s right! We are literally now, and have been together almost every moment of every day.

We began our relationship as good friends, and as it evolved into a loving partnership, we realized that we really like being together.   We knew in those early days in Cripple Creek Colorado, a remote mountain town of 450 people, we wanted to spend as much time as possible together. At each stage in our relationship we asked the Universe to present us with opportunities to allow us to work and travel together. Wish granted. Early on we worked as bartenders and servers in the same restaurant – we had the same shifts; traveling Europe we were side-by-side from Athens to London; working in Colorado we would sit across from each other at Linda’s kitchen table; in our retail shop, it was always just the two of us; at the manufacturing company, our desks were right next to each other’s and in school for massage we studied and practiced as a team.

RS-Brad-SmithThis type of relationship is not for everyone. And even with all our togetherness, the most important component in our relationship is allowing each other to grow and develop as an individual. With a full sense of individuation, we come together to build and nurture the partnership.   We are together physically, emotionally and spiritually most of the time. But we still need and crave “me time”.   There is a relationship each of us has with ourself that needs as much nourishing and attention as any outside relationship in our life – maybe more!

Early in our relationship, when we were developing our personal spiritual practices, we discussed the possibility of reincarnation. It was then we decided to start our meditation practice so we could find each other faster the next time around. This may sound a little childlike. That’s OK. We work to keep a sense of childlike qualities in our relationship, like being open, honest and trusting.  Our practices have helped us! They help us to see, the deeper we love ourselves and the more we acknowledge our unique spark of creation and feed that spark, the more we find we are alive, happy and whole. Our journey together led us to a deeper understanding of Self Love. Without this Self-Love, our relationships dissolve into a co-dependency that leaves our Souls hungry for something deeper. The hunger is for a connection with Self first and foremost. Self-Love is a learned behavior. We need to foster and nurture it throughout our lives. We believe it is one of our greatest quests in life.

We’ve learned many things about life and living over the past three decades. One of the many things we learned from Linda Goodman was about numerology (the study of the power and the spiritual vibration of numbers, as presented by Chaldean-Hebrew Kabala). We celebrate our anniversary on the 3rd. In numerology that means our anniversary and our relationship, vibrates to the number 3. Three is described as representing idealism, higher education, foreign travel and religion. Three is the number of optimism, movement, expansion – and the Holy Trinity of the Body, Mind and Spirit.   On first read about the number three in 1989, we hoped this would come to pass. One of the many gifts of maturity is to have the opportunity to look back. As we ponder the last twenty-eight years, we realize these words…Idealism, Movement, Expansion and the Holy Trinity of Body, Mind and Spirit really do describe our relationship – it captures the essence of our lives together – seeking truth and freedom at every turn.

Our individual journey and quest for Self-Love enabled us to create our relationship of idealism, movement and expansion. Through our practices we know the companionship we hold with our Self, is what leads us to truth and opportunities for self-growth and understanding. So enter again the number three. The trilogy we are experiencing is Steve – Rob and then SteveRob. Whether or not there is a significant “other” in your life, you always have the opportunity to romance the Self and Love Your Life.

If there is no outward three in your life, create your own inner trilogy. In numerology, the number one represents creativity, protection, benevolence. ONE is the number of original action, the initiating bases of all other numbers. There cannot be a 2 or 3 without the 1.

How do you romance your Self?

Take some time each morning to be with you. Do this in meditation, yoga or journaling.

Look in the mirror each day and tell yourself, “I love you”. If in the beginning, you find this declaration of love difficult, start by winking or smiling at yourself.

Eat food that is nutritious, drink lots of water, take walks, move your body. Make the effort to quiet the ego voice so you can hear the Me voice.

Create your own trinity of Body, Mind and Spirit.

We have much gratitude for the longevity of our relationship and all the opportunities for growth it has afforded us. We also have gratitude for our individual journey and our romance with our SELF.

The love most of us seek outwardly is actually a buried treasure in our own heart. Dig for gold friends. You are richer than you know right now in this moment.  Love Your Life!

I Saw A Shooting Star

by

Fotolia_59785106_Subscription_Monthly_MI usually get up early in the morning to take our dogs outside for their morning constitution, and one morning this week I saw a shooting star! It shocked and delighted me! It had been many years since I had seen one. But more importantly, it reminded me that magical things could happen at any moment…when you least expect them!

The feeling it generated in me was awesome, and every time that I think of the experience since then, I get that same delightful feeling. The feeling you got as a child when you got your first puppy, or that toy you REALLY wanted. The feeling on Christmas morning when you went out into the living room and there were all those wondrous and beautifully wrapped packages. The first time you were old enough to realize how special it was to have a birthday cake made just for you.

You may have noticed that the world is shifting into a new reality where thoughts become things rather quickly. We have known for at least 2,000 years the how your thoughts affect your life. Well baby, multiply that times a thousand and that’s what’s happening now! So start expecting magical things to happen.

You can start by remembering and writing down each morning something from your past that seemed magical. We have all had those moments. You know that feeling, childlike delightful surprise. So take a brief moment each morning and remember one of those times in your life and write it down in your own little “Book of Miracles.” If you want to have one for every morning, you will start to think about it during the day for the next mornings note.

You may find images that remind you of something…like a vacation that turned out to be more fun that you had imagined. I remember one vacation to Hawaii with a group of friends that included a trip around the island by boat to snorkel. On the way back, we sat in the front of the boat and they served us Mai Ties. We started laughing, and then the water splashed us and we laughed even harder…more splashing, more laughing! I didn’t ever remember laughing that hard for that long! It felt SO GOOD to be so carefree, in such a beautiful place with such great friends. So I will put a photo of us on that boat ride in my “Book of Miracles.”

You might remember the first time you heard some music that sent you through the roof…get an image of that album cover…easy to do on iTunes…and put it in your Book. Better yet, download the music and put it on your phone so you can listen to it again.

You might remember the scent of a certain flower or fruit. Get a picture of that and find a page for it in your Book.

How about the first time you looked in the face of your newborn child. That’s a great one!

Build your Book for 30 days, and then look at it often. Flip it open randomly and the page you open to will be your “miracle reminder” for the day.

Your delight with life will start to manifest. Who knows, perhaps you will even see your own shooting star! I’m on the lookout myself!

Heal Yourself First; Forgiveness Is A Natural By-Product

by

Fotolia_38672787_Subscription_Monthly_MI have a rule when it comes to politics and religion – I don’t talk about them. I have learned from personal experience and observation that addressing them – particularly when we have differing perspectives – usually erects a wall faster than a framer.

With politics and religion I have found that nobody’s mind is changing. We typically no longer listen to each other and are just waiting for our turn to talk.  Or we will simply interrupt whoever is talking and put forth our own opinion in order to illustrate where they are wrong.

I have found that to be similar when it comes to talking about forgiveness. The automatic version typically has a “should” in it. “You should forgive others” is the mantra.

Well, I have made peace with the fact that I question things that don’t feel quite right to me. Not only do I question them, I sift and sort and massage them until I feel that the ideas resemble truth to me.

That isn’t to say that I didn’t try to forgive others first. I tried and tried to make sense out of being sexually abused. If you would have talked to me at 19, I would have smiled and said, “Yes, I have long since forgiven them… I’m good,” while sneaking food from the refrigerator. Or if you would have talked to me at 27, I would have said, “Sure, I’m okay, all’s forgiven,” while shoplifting from a department store when I had money in my pocket.

Then it came to the point where I couldn’t even focus on forgiving others; I was in such bad shape emotionally and psychologically that I needed to focus on just staying alive. I fought hard to regain balance, to feel good about myself and get a renewed sense of well-being. And I did it! I successfully pulled myself out of the pit of despair and climbed back into the world of the living (and loving) with reintroduced vigor.

It was an inside job. I began to celebrate myself as a sweet and strong eight-year-old. I honored my non-preferred actions as a teen and young adult, understanding that they were tools to survive the pain I couldn’t yet face. I finally had the courage to face my abusers (in my inner world) and let them know that what they did to me wasn’t okay. I learned to be my own best advocate and my staunchest supporter.

As I consistently watered the newly planted seeds of self-understanding and self-compassion, I began to heal. Really. Truly. Authentically. Self-worth and self-value were but a couple of fruit that were a direct result of watering those seeds.

Another fruit I bore was forgiveness. It was a pleasant surprise. Forgiveness. Really. Truly. Authentically. Easily and effortlessly, I forgave my abusers and made peace with everything non-preferred that I had experienced. What remained was love and understanding. I gained a deep understanding about wounded people wounding others. I gained a deep desire to help stop that cycle. Through love.

 “Heal Yourself First; Forgiveness is a Natural By-Product”

I shared that sentiment in social media and received corrections in return: “No, you should forgive others first then you will feel better.” I didn’t mind the rebuttal at all; I expected it. I already understood that my opinion — based upon my personal experience with forgiveness – would not be understood or embraced.

I believe that the reason we continue to try to forgive is that we know, on a deeper level, that we do not forgive. This is the very reason why I needed to examine it more thoroughly. I came to understand that the reason my forgiveness wasn’t authentic was because I tried to forgive others despite the fact that there was still a part of me that was hurting and in pain. Once I licked and healed my own wounds, in my joy, forgiveness organically followed.

I also came to understand that I was mixing a lot of things with the idea of forgiveness. In my clarity, I embraced the idea that people are forgivable; certain acts are not. We must heal so that we can eradicate abuse, in all of its forms, from our society.

If you, in your heart of hearts, find that you are not forgiving another, understand that there is an aspect of yourself that is still in pain. When you allow yourself to let that be okay, and give to yourself whatever understanding you need, you will heal. It is up to you to take care of yourself in that way. Use your imagination and become your own most loyal supporter. When you do, with forgiveness, you won’t need the word “should.”

Forgiveness Through Ho’oponopono

by

Bees Ho Oponopono JAW Dropping PhotographyReady to forgive?

Forgiveness frees us to live in the present with greater ease and joy. Yet saying I’m sorry and asking for forgiveness can be two of the hardest things we will ever do. Equally as difficult can be forgiving others.

As a shamanic practitioner, one practice I have found to be very effective is the ancient Hawaiian practice of the Ho’Oponopono. Joe Vitale writes about this practice in his book, “Zero Limits”, written with master Ho’oponopono teacher Dr. Ihaleakala Hew Len. Dr. Hew Len used the practice to heal mentally ill criminal patients on a hospital ward.

The only purpose in your life and mine is the restoration of our Identity—our Mind—back to its original state of void or zero (Buddha), of purity of heart (Jesus) and of blank (Shakespeare) through nonstop cleaning.

Based on the simple understanding that everything in nature is interconnected through subtle energies and that we can never truly separate ourselves from the whole, the Ho’Oponopono provides neutrality and clearing when seeming wrongs have taken place. In ancient teachings it was offered to “make right” with the ancestors; to correct those seeming wrongs that had occurred in a life or lifetimes, either intentionally or unintentionally. It is not a religion, it is simply a practice that offers neutrality and unconditional love for anyone and anything. Don’t we all just want love?

By realizing the connection to all life, all beings, we can admit our own responsibility and make the correction through processing the Ho’oponopono like a mantra until it feels like the cycle is complete.

To begin working with the Ho’oponopono:

Visualize an infinite source of love and healing flowing from source, through you, connecting you with the earth.

In your mind see the person or scenario that you do not feel aligned with and begin chanting, silently or out loud, “I’m sorry, please forgive me, I love you, thank you”.

Repeat the chanting until you no longer feel an emotional attachment to the situation. This may take several rounds of the chant or it may take only a few.

The beauty of this practice is its simplicity. It can be offered in any situation in life where you do not feel in complete alignment.

Several weeks ago a client called me asking me for support with a family issue she was having. Not wanting to overstep her family’s boundaries I suggested she begin the Ho’oponopono for each family member. I also suggested she use Google to seek more information on it. Within just a few days both her and her family found resolution – peace and forgiveness. Coincidence? I think not!

To connect with Teri visit TeriGriffinWilliams.com.

Feedback