A safe harbor where beliefs are respected and kindness prevails.

Can You Laugh At Yourself?

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Fotolia_55328154_Subscription_XXLHealth and fitness-related issues can often come across as serious topics. It takes a committed decision to step up, and to create a lifestyle that is the catalyst toward major changes.

Part of that lifestyle change is the decision to take responsibility for your own health. Part of this is doing your utmost to follow through with your health and fitness goals.

We all have a tendency to buckle in to those feelings of self-criticism when we fall short of following through with our fitness goals. We beat ourselves up for not trying harder. We wish that we were stronger in resisting those temptations to consume those foods that end up damaging our bodies. We think less of ourselves, and this can stir up old patterns of self-doubt and unworthiness. It is during these moments that we need to remain positive, and focus on our goals.

This is a time when we should learn to laugh at the challenges we face on a daily basis! When we see ourselves in a humorous light, we diffuse the power of self-defeating thoughts and feelings that can cripple our ability to grow and advance as healthy, happy human beings.

Allow me to offer one example of how laughing at a situation helped to conquer my food cravings, while turning the whole process into a game.

There are many times when I’m shopping for food and suddenly think, “Man, I would love some ice cream with a piece of pie!” My favorite is pumpkin pie…but everybody has their own button. It is during these moments that I do everything I can to not think about my cravings. I must admit, those cravings can be too hard to resist!

As a way of overcoming this situation, I make sure to have my shopping basket filled with the foods I truly need. I stay away from the aisles that carry poor quality foods that I know I should avoid.

If my cravings are especially intense, I make a game out of my shopping experience. I take this opportunity to boldly stand in front of the ice cream case. I focus on it all and think, ‘if I were to have this sweet treat tonight, what would be the best treat to select?’ I read the labels of every yummy morsel, and I then find the one that calls to me, and put it in my basket. This makes it easier to finish my shopping. Yet, all the while I feel as if I have my favorite, treat waiting for me. By the time I’m ready to check out, I have overcome my desire for the treat, and I have put the ice cream and pie back on the shelf.

Instead of becoming frustrated, and falling into a place of self- judgment, I find a way to laugh at myself, at my old programing, and make a game out of it all!

There are times when we goof up, and allow our old way of thinking to get the better of us. When this happens, learn to laugh at yourself. Get on with creating the life you truly desire. Don’t fall into the trap of self-judgment and unworthiness.

The more you can laugh at your old programing foibles, the faster you will create the health and wellness you desire.

Would you like to understand how these old programs sabotage all your efforts to create the health and fitness you desire?

Here is a complimentary webinar to get you started.

I would love to help you on your journey of health and wellness.

I wish for all of you, Vibrant Health!  Dave

What’s Your Love Language?

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The other day I had a conversation with a client who mentioned that the woman he was dating didn’t really even know how to be a good friend, let alone a date. It got me thinking about the “5 Languages of Love” by Gary Chapman.

Chapman based his work on his own longtime relationship with his wife and over 30 years of counseling. He suggests that we fall into one of 5 areas when it comes to how we express emotional love saying, “Each person has a primary love language that we must learn to speak if we want that person to feel loved.” (You can take a short quiz to find out yours at http://www.5lovelanguages.com/)

I shared with my friend that I thought many people today would benefit from taking a look at the 5 basic ways not just as a lover, but as a friend. Wouldn’t it be wonderful if your friend took the time needed to recognize, or was present to, the particular way you liked to be treated, your own love language.

The five basic ways are:

  1. Words of Affirmation – Simply put, if this is your language you like to be told often how much someone loves you, why they love you. You like compliments and words of appreciation.
  2. Gifts – If this is your language you love to receive thoughtful gifts, gifts from the heart. They don’t have to be expensive, they simply need to express how much you were thought of, how much you are cared for.
  3. Acts of Service – You love it when your partner, spouse (or friend) pitches in to help with the dishes, takes the trash out or does your laundry. Anything he/she does to lighten your load is going to make you gaga for them over and over again.
  4. Quality Time – Nothing is more important to you than spending quality time with your friend/lover if this is your language. You look forward to turning the T.V. off, sitting with a cup of tea and sharing a few moments connecting deeply.
  5. Physical Touch – A person whose primary language is Physical Touch thrives on a gentle touch, a warm hug, a pat on the back, and holding hands. Whether it’s a friend or lover, what they crave is physical presence.

Each and every one of us has a particular way we like to be treated that may differ from our partner or friends. It might not be easy, at first, to speak your friend or lovers language, especially if it differs from yours. It makes sense to take the time to understand what sparks the people in your life so you can help them feel more loved. Isn’t that really what we are here for?

Illness or Just ‘The Way We Are?’

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Fotolia_4917303_Subscription_LThree times in the last week I have woken in the middle of the night and not been able to get back to sleep. I viewed this as a problem…that something was “wrong” with me that needed to be fixed. Oh dear, what should I do? I have had this problem on and off all my life and it seems to come and go…it seems to happen more when I am under stress. Oddly it seems to happen when I have done strenuous exercise during that day. Shouldn’t that make me sleep better?

This morning, as I was doing my regular review of Facebook posts, I found one posted listing an article that states that, up until we lighted our cities, this is the WAY WE SLEPT…in segments! It makes sense that when it got dark, we would go to sleep. Now, we stay up late into the night with our amazing electrical devices keeping us awake and entertained.

Ironically, that is what I turn to when I am awake in the early hours of the morning…the television!

So, in an instant, I went from a lifetime of thinking there was something “wrong”, instead, perhaps I was just doing what the genetics of my body have done for thousands of years!

Wow, erasing a lifetime problem with one Facebook article!

Thank you to the people who did the research and to the person that posted it! Here is the link.

What a HUGE shift in attitude this is for me. It makes me wonder how many other things in my life that I consider “problems” really aren’t. What a giant weight off my shoulders!

We are living in an amazing time of shared knowledge. What we pull out of the ever-growing “collective book of knowledge” depends greatly on our attitude. If you are looking for darkness, surely you will find it. There is more than enough to go around. But, if instead, you BELIEVE that the lighted wisdom is coming through more and more, that is what you will magnetically draw to you. With the state of communication such as it is in this time, you can attract ANY kind of information to you that you BELIEVE you can.

Form follows thought, now more than ever.

Now, I just have to figure out what to do with these middle of the night sessions…and of course that could mean going to sleep earlier too! I need to get enough sleep to be sure, but understanding that this is not an illness gives me a better starting place to find a new way to get enough sleep IN this electronic age. I don’t really want to go back to being a cave person but I do want to operate at my very best.

Get Up On Your High Horse

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Fotolia_19719715_Subscription_XXLWe all have a voice. A platform. A way of being able to help and serve others.  You might not think of yourself that way, but it is true.

Believe that you are touching people’s lives and making a difference every single day, in your own way. Whether you realize it, or meant to, or not.

Sometimes we share a personal experience, or a gentle observation about life. Sometimes we turn the mirror back around on someone with a grander, not-so-gentle outlook on another’s current situation.  All of these things, when meant to help and given with an intention of love, can make a positive difference in someone’s life.

This means that in your way, with your true self, you are being of service to the greater good of those whom you are connecting.  Never underestimate your power and ability to make a difference-to have an impact.

Know with certainty that sometimes you must stand from a higher vantage point in order to be able to offer this help.  Many of us fear that we will be seen as a know-it-all, or as standing in judgment of another.  But check in with yourself.  Remember that if your intention is pure and you aren’t standing in judgment, how another perceives it is none of your business.  You do the best you can, with the right frame of mind.

Don’t be afraid to show your true self and offer your personal wisdom.   We go through experiences in this life in order to learn. Sometimes that learning is not just valuable to our selves, but to those that you meet as well. You truly never know how sharing will touch someone and create a positive affect in another’s life. You serve the world by getting up on your high horse when you are not doing it from a place of authority or ego, but instead, a desire to offer something to make someone else’s experience seem a little lighter or clearer.

There are a couple rules of thumb that can help you get your message across in the most loving way. The first is to stop and remember, “Was I asked? Are they asking for my input?” Nothing comes across as being more “high and mighty” than putting in your two cents when it’s unsolicited.

Next ask, “What is my intention in offering this sage advice?” Is it with good intention, love, and gentle awareness? The gentle awareness piece can be key. Can you offer it gently without it coming across as rough, uncaring? Are you about to spit out your superior insights because you are thinking, “you can not really be this dumb?” Because if you are…I’d say take a step back, a deep breath, and mostly, REMAIN SILENT. This is not the time or emotional space to be doling out “how to’s” and “you should’s”.

Which actually brings up an extra side note. If what is about to come out of your mouth includes the phrase “you should” or “you shouldn’t”, I’d ask you to think twice. Should’s are often an indication of a personal perspective that is imposing on someone else’s ability to have their own perspective. It doesn’t mean that you are doing it maliciously, just know that there is often that energy associated with a “should”.

My final point is to go with your gut. As always, check in for a quick moment. Did you just recognize a flash of gloating that this person is coming to you with this particular problem for help? Does the response rolling around in your head make you feel a little tense or make your stomach turn? This could mean a couple things depending on how well you communicate on an emotional level, but you know yourself. So what does it mean for you?

Did a personal story pop into your mind as they were explaining their situation? For me, that’s always an indication that there is a nugget of wisdom in there that is probably beneficial for the other person. So tell your story, even if it isn’t exactly clear how it might relate to them. This is your “gut” talking.

Remember that knights in shining armor sit up on high horses. Being up on your high horse does not always have to have the negative connotation that we often associate it with. The knights were perched up there for a better, clearer line of sight. It offered them extra protection from the messiness that was down below. In this same way, your elevated view when guiding another may not be such a bad thing. It can be to their advantage.

So ride high my friends! You must go off bravely, sharing your wisdom and insight. You never know who may be in need of rescuing.

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