A safe harbor where beliefs are respected and kindness prevails.

Dating A Boy Of A Different Kind

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Fotolia_52949512_Subscription_XXLYou consider yourself part of the bohemian lifestyle, all things commercialized are a disgrace, and no “real” job should interfere with doing what you love and finding your purpose. He on the other hand, is suit by day and part of the whole mind-numbing rat race. He has the stylish apartment and the BMW; and yet, you met him in the organic food section at the supermarket. You started swamping recipes and realized you enjoy each other. He makes you laugh. You love cooking together or eating at ethnic restaurants, but a lot of things are off limits. You don’t like the same music, same places for weekend get-away’s, and you find his friends shallow. Can you overcome the differences even though you really, really enjoy him as a person?

Or, what if you are an attorney making your way to partner and he is the manager of a taco bell? You met him at a chic new martini bar and he was dressed to kill. You never would have guessed that he comes home smelling like grease every night. He has no ambition to leave or advance. He likes his little world. He definitely has a lot of mental and philosophical similarities, but he is a beer drinking mans-man and you don’t have a lot of similar interests. He gets discouraged when he can’t afford to do things for you or you want to do things that he can’t afford to do. Some things you just can’t relate to, but you love your time with him anyway.

Is this relationship doomed straight from the start, or is there a way to make it work?

I think it really depends on what the differences are and how important it is to you that they be the same. You are hopefully mature and secure enough to know that you don’t have to have the same interests. If he loves NASCAR and Budweiser, you don’t have to share that. Occasionally sacrificing a few hours on a Sunday just to watch part of the race with him is great but other than that, use that time to go to an art gallery or catch up with the girls. Do something you know he’s not totally into that you like. Conversely, do you see him making efforts to partake in the things that you enjoy that he could care less about? This give and take of small compromises is vital in a lasting relationship.

If the differences are of fundamental issues, like work ethic, priorities in life, or values…you would be best to take some time to examine how important they are to you, but chances are this isn’t going to work. Does he have a disgruntled relationship with his family and think it’s totally odd that you actually like to connect with yours regularly? This could be an issue, especially if he acts like a two-year old about your insistence that it is important to you that he attends your nephew’s baptism. Do you need growth and adventure as a regular part of your life? Where as he would rather stay spending his weekend in the lazy boy for the rest of his days? This is a needs and values difference. Don’t sacrifice what you believe, or need, for him. You’ll eventually come to resent it. Don’t try and convert him to your ideals either. You wouldn’t want him to do that to you.

Sometimes being open to the world, lifestyles, and viewpoints outside of our own is really enlightening, and fulfilling. Just because you’ve always gone for the retired college jock type, doesn’t mean your true partner won’t be a sensitive, open mic poet type. Anytime we restrict our options, or keep ourselves in a box we are probably not having the fullest experience we could be.

All this being said, you want to make sure the core beliefs are the same if nothing else. It is important to know that your relationship needs will be met, one way or another, in some form. Just as you shouldn’t restrict yourself in seeing what might be appealing and work, don’t limit your ability to get your needs met.

Sometimes you can have not enough in common. People can be too opposite. Opposites don’t always attract!

Your Best Holiday Season Ever!

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Fotolia_58242432_Subscription_Monthly_MIt’s here! I’m so excited!

The holiday season is finally here. Thanksgiving, Christmas, Hanukkah, New Year’s, and all of the holidays that herald a transformation into the more wintery months, have arrived. They mark a time that encourages us to enjoy precious moments with family, and to express gratitude for all the blessings that enhance our lives.

Unfortunately, it is also the season when the average American will gain ten to fifteen pounds of extra body fat! Hey, it’s a season of joy, but sometimes it can also usher in a season of over-indulgence.

Not to worry. We have a strategy to combat those extra pounds.

Let us first ask ourselves, why do these extra pounds seem to creep up on us during a time that is supposed to usher in feelings of joy and celebration? Perhaps it is because we use the holiday season as an excuse to eat recklessly, drink with abandon, and procrastinate in our exercise because we want to engage in other holiday activities.

Hey, Christmas tree shopping should be considered an exercise…right? Well, maybe so, but not if it’s followed up with too much egg nog and sweet treats. Have you ever envisioned a romp through the woods, looking for that perfect tree, and ending your adventure with a feast of fresh veggies and organic turkey followed by a warm cup of herbal tea? It’s all about healthy alternatives folks. And those alternatives can be tasty and fun!

What really happens for most of us during the holiday season is that we give up on the goal of creating a fit and strong body, and allow ourselves to fall back into our old ways of self-sabotage.

May I offer you a happy compromise that allows you to embrace the holiday season, without suffering from the backlash of over-indulgence?

Why not make this holiday season a breakthrough event that lets you achieve your health and fitness goals? Fill yourself with the confidence and excitement that allows you to maintain your best body and health throughout the winter months!

How do you do this? You must, must, must, decide right now that you will do whatever it takes to create optimum health, because it is that important to you and only you. Make it your personal mission!

I am sure there have been at least a few times in your life when you have said, “I don’t care about the naysayers. I am going to do something for myself that will make me look healthy and feel happy!”

I want you to build that desire deep within you and let it become your center, your compass, and your direction toward health and fitness.

This desire that burns within will steer you away from the temptation to skip your workouts, or partake in treats and to over indulge.

When the New Year arrives, and everyone else is complaining about the weight they put on, or how out of shape they are, you will be joyfully filled with pride in yourself for becoming so much more than you ever imagined!

Your friends and family might ask you how you managed to become such a healthy person during the holidays. They will ask how you were able to resist all the temptations of excessive food and treats. You will recognize their questions as what you asked yourself last year, when you dared to explore how you may achieve your dream body and ultimate health.

This holiday season is your time to break free and to create a new self-image of someone who goes after their dreams and doesn’t look back.

Be bold. Be brave. Become the amazing person you are meant to be.

I would love to help you on this journey. If you want help, you only need to ask.

I am here, and ready to be your coach, and to give you all that you need to obtain the body and life you so deserve.

Here is a link offering a complimentary webinar that offers just a sample of what you can look forward to with me in your corner.

Let’s spend the holidays together.

I wish for all of you, Vibrant Health!

David Fresilli – Holistic Health Practitioner, CES, PES, CPT

Want to work with Dave? Want to know more about Dave’s lifestyle?

You can find Dave here:  www.holistichealth-fitness.com

Less Stress, More Bliss

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Less stress more bliss soulciallivingStress is Change –

Change is everything –

Embrace it!

What is stress? Stress is change and because everything is always changing and moving, we feel stress on a regular basis. Simply put stress is our response, physically, spiritually and emotionally, to certain changes that happen in day to day life. Sometimes it’s good stress and sometimes it’s bad stress. When those changes are extreme and prolonged, fearful and painful, it can be deadly.

Examples of bad stressors that can cause negative effects in our lives are: a car breaking down, receiving bad news or getting laid off, an annoying colleague, financial issues, and sickness, changing habits like quitting smoking, or ending a relationship, moving, deadlines at work. The list is endless. We all have your own stressors.

Good stressors cause different responses. The body can respond by increases in chemicals, such as endorphins, that provide more energy and strength. Endorphins allow humans to feel a sense of power and control over themselves that allows them to persist with activity for an extended time; like runners high or the euphoric feeling after a particularly satisfying event, the excitement felt after an extremely awesome experience.

When working properly, stress helps you stay focused, energetic, and alert. In emergency situations, stress can save your life – giving you extra strength to defend yourself, for example, or spurring you to slam on the brakes to avoid an accident.

What can you do when stress and change are excessive? GET HELP!

The best way to manage stress is to avoid it. Since that is not always an option there are a wide range of tools available to help including: psychotherapy, drugs, meditation, and exercise.

10 Stress relievers that you can include in your life now include:

                  Meditation/Mindfulness

                  Exercise

                  Healthy foods (chocolate counts!)

                  Journaling

                  Energy work

                  Massage

                  Creative projects

                  Positivity coaching

                  Connecting with “happy” people

                  Laughter

My particular methods for relieving my stress levels are meditation and mindfulness, exercise, laughter, energy work, and eating foods that support my overall well-being. These techniques can easily be incorporated into your life by accepting that stress can be a good thing, and, when these are practiced on a regular basis, they can seriously reduce your stress levels and increase your own happiness levels.

Experience less stress and more joy, by embracing change! Want to know more? Visit terigriffinwilliams.com.

 

 

Gratitude: The Quickest Way to Boost your Mood

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When you arise in the morning, give thanks for the morning light, for your life and strength. Give thanks for your food and the joy of living. If you find no reason for giving thanks, the fault lies in yourself – Tecumseh, Shawnee Native American Leader

One of the quickest ways to welcome more happiness and optimism into your life is to practice gratitude. Gratitude is a feeling we experience by noticing, and being thankful for, the blessings in our life. It can greatly transform our overall feelings of well-being. People who regularly practice gratitude experience better physical and mental health. We cannot experience negative emotion if we are feeling thankful. Gratitude is accompanied by feelings of peace and joy; it has the potential to change our thoughts from lack to abundance.

Anyone can adopt a practice of gratitude. At first it may feel uncomfortable, even insincere, but overtime it becomes easier and much more natural. What we focus on expands, and when we choose to notice our blessings we find more things to be thankful for. You can instantly experience more gratitude in this moment by appreciating the simple things that so many of us take for granted. Appreciate the fresh water that you drink, the warmth of the sun, the air that you breathe. Notice small acts of kindness, like someone holding the door for you, or buying your morning coffee. Practice looking people in the eye and genuinely saying “thank you”. Be specific in your praise. Something as simple as saying to a waitress “thank you for your great service” will help boost their mood as well as your own. Take note of how the feeling of gratitude affects your body. Where do you feel gratitude? What thoughts strongly evoke feelings of gratitude? Practice these thoughts often.

Beginning and ending your day with a gratitude practice will evoke feelings of peace and joy. In the morning, before you get out of bed, take time to be grateful for the day ahead. Be thankful for the fun day at work, or the interesting conversation with a friend. Saying thank you in advance helps to set a positive tone for the day. So often people dread getting out of bed because they are worried about the things that might go wrong throughout the day; instead, practice being grateful for things going smoothly. At the end of each day, when you are lying in bed, think of the best thing that happened that day and say “thank you”. Often times people use the time before bed to reflect on what went wrong throughout their day; what someone said to offend them, how they were disrespected, lied too, etc. Or people spend the time mentally preparing a to-do list for tomorrow. Using this time to reflect on what you are grateful for will help you fall asleep in a positive state of mind.

Gratitude is a way of approaching life. It is a choice we make to focus on the good in each day. Post a list of blessings in your room, and choose to look at it often. Carry a list of blessings in your purse or pocket and look at it when you are feeling down. When we are thankful for what we have, we make room for more good things to come into our experience.

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