A safe harbor where beliefs are respected and kindness prevails.

Co-Weaving New Life

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Fotolia_53935659_Subscription_Monthly_MIt was one of those moments: the kind of moment when you are fully present and witnessing an experience, knowing that something really big is happening.  At our cabin on Johnson Lake, we have a steep grass slope that leads to the water. I was mindfully taking conscious and careful baby steps down the hill as I had hundreds of times before. One quick slip and I heard the dreadful, spine-chilling “CRACK!” and went down. I didn’t cry or laugh as I normally would with a sprained ankle or clumsy fall. I went into a hyper-alert, adrenalin-induced, emergency-medical-response mode.

Everyone else in the boat and on the patio heard the gruesome break as well. They came running. “Get some ice and ibuprofen,” I directed when my family asked what I needed and what they could do to help. “And, get those cedar planks above the washer that we grill fish on. We can use them for a splint.” The ice and ibuprofen came quickly. My cedar planks were vetoed for soft, rolled-up towels and Press and Seal plastic wrap.

The Emergency Room doctor was impressed with my family’s creative ingenuity.

After cutting off the wrap and examining my leg and ankle, he said he thought I broke my ankle. I said, “Maybe, but I know my shin bone is broken.” He touched my leg again and said, “No, I think it’s your ankle.” The ex-rays came back and we were both right. I had a spiral fracture on my left tibia and a break on both sides of my ankle.

When a fracture of the bone occurs, the body leaps into action to begin the healing process. There are three important stages in healing a fractured bone. First is the inflammatory phase, second the reparative phase, and third the remodeling phase. I think the second is particularly interesting. The reparative phase begins about two weeks after the fracture occurs. In this stage, proteins begin to consolidate into what is known as a soft callus. This soft, new bone substance eventually hardens into a hard callus as the bone “weaves together” over a six to twelve week period. The genius within the body repairs itself. I often sat with my leg elevated in a heavy, full-leg cast imagining and visualizing the bones weaving together.

I am in awe of how the Designing Intelligence of Creation continues to do its thing – assisting my body to weave new bone. How magnificent. The body has such an extraordinary and complex design. My body knows exactly what to do. I simply have to sit back, rest and allow it to do its thing.

Now, twelve weeks later, I wait for the day when I am able to take my first NEW steps forward on my leg, I am grateful for life’s genius. The lessons from this experience have been invaluable. Life gave me “a break.” It’s been a time of pause, reflection, healing, and surrender – “a weaving of the new” in so many ways. I have learned to literally partner with and trust the Designing Intelligence more completely. In doing so, I have been immersed in the creative flow of the Universe.

The same Intelligence that heals my bones also has my back and desires to co-create more fully with me. The same Intelligence that weaves new bone also holds the material of Creation together – my experiences, relationships, nature, humanity, earth and the cosmos. I am not separate from this Divine Intelligence. The Intelligence is in me and I am in it. I am not separate from the weaving. I am part of it. I am a co-weaver neatly interlaced within Creation.

As I move forward, each new step is entwined with the consciousness of this interconnected reality. The new me listens even deeper for guidance and direction as I practice attuning to the Intelligence. As I surrender to the co-creative process, I midwife and steward new projects, knowing they come through me, but not of me. I align with the highest good of Creation and trust that the expression of my individual threads is unique and an integral part of the fabric of life. The new me shares my gifts in synergistic play with others to bring forth this new, unitive consciousness and a new world. The more I honor the wisdom and power of the Designing Intelligence, the more resources and opportunities come to me – naturally… organically.

Now, I’m on the precipice of another one of those moments, knowing that something really big is about to happen.   I am preparing to leap forward, trusting the Designing Intelligence and saying, “Yes!” to what presents. The world looks very different now. It is alive and supportive and interactive. I have an intimate relationship – a sacred union – with the Designing Intelligence that has healed my bones. With gratitude, I will put my best foot forward and delight as Creation continues to create through me. There will be no more careful baby steps. For it is time to leap into full co-creation. With the assistance of my incredible intelligence partner, I am co-weaving new life.

Give Yourself The Gift of Compassionate Self-Care

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Shann High Res HeadshotI haven’t always been the best at putting myself at the front of the line. For years it seemed perfectly natural to take care of others, take on loads of responsibility and work so hard that all I could do was collapse at the end of the day. My well was dry.  I remember the day that everything changed. I was a new mother trying to juggle my family and career. I was exhausted, maxed out and anxious about everything on my plate. About the time I reached my tipping point, the members of my sales force gave me a gift certificate for a 90 minute hot stone massage. It was the first massage I’d had in years. That one precious gift helped me realize how important it was to make body work a part of my self-care routine. Body work led to photography, Yoga, Martial Arts and so much more. I started practicing what I now preach, and over the last ten years I’ve become a compassionate self-care crusader!

As the loving self care guide at the Soulful Life Sanctuary, I invite our members to care for themselves by choosing at least one act of self-care each day. This might be something as simple is drinking an extra glass of water. Other times, it may be learning how to set healthy boundaries by choosing to say no thank you without feeling guilty. Sometimes its learning to give themselves permission to stop and rest.

All too often we put everyone and everything at the front of the line. We will start a new business when the mortgage is paid off. We will register for a photography class or Yoga retreat once the kids finish school. We will work on getting healthy and fit when we have more time to care for ourselves. These are societal excuses that must be faced with loving kindness.                                  “The trouble is, You think you have time.” -Buddha

Recently I asked Soulful Life Sanctuary members who are part of the Loving Self-care Sacred Space to share excuses that get in the way of their self-care. The top three obstacles were: no time because of work, family responsibilities and feelings of guilt or unworthiness.   No matter what your excuse is, if you really want to make your self-care a priority, you have to start somewhere. Let’s begin by addressing each one of these common excuses.

Excuse #1 No Time Because of Work Schedule
Most of us live in the real world and don’t have access to an unlimited trust fund or bank account. We work in order to keep a roof over our head, clothes on our back and food on the table. However, working is not a valid excuse for blowing off self-care. What you can do is carve out time for self-care before, during or after work.

Back in the day when my calendar was overflowing with appointments and work-related responsibilities, the only time I had to myself was evenings and weekends. Or was it?   I discovered an untapped oasis on my lunch hour! I made it a priority to get out of the office at lunch to visit a local park and watch the Lake Michigan waves roll in. Some days I’d walk a couple of laps around the local civic center trail. Sometimes I’d go to the museum or public library. This oasis of time allowed me to step away from fluorescent lights and the needs of others to get some fresh air, spaciousness and perspective. Can you see how carving out some time at lunch helped me balance my energy and recharge my batteries before getting back to work?

Excuse #2 Family Responsibilities
I have a small family that I enjoy nurturing. My husband and daughter are my entire world. I am responsible for taking care of them through the many roles that I choose to play in this lifetime. I’ve learned that the best thing I can do for my loved ones is take excellent care of myself!

We forget that we can give the most when we are living lives we love. We can be the best partners, mothers, wives, fathers, business owners, when we are feeling nurtured, fulfilled, inspired and self expressed.

Excuse #3 Feelings of Guilt and Unworthiness
If you feel guilty or unworthy when you think about doing something sweet for yourself, chances are this old programming. We often learn to feel unworthy through some sort of psychological osmosis received from our parents or caregivers. If you were raised by someone who thought it SELFISH to care for herself, the thoughts that come up for you now may not even be your own!

You can break the chain of old programming by becoming aware of negative self-talk and in that moment of awareness, make the choice to overrule your mind. It takes practice, but eventually you will prevail! You are worthy. You have nothing to feel guilty about.
Even if you haven’t always been the best at putting yourself at the front of the line, there is hope for you yet. I Invite you to choose and commit to one act of self-care today and notice how you feel. You deserve to receive the gift of compassionate self-care.

Merry Blissmas

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Fotolia_4948204_Subscription_Monthly_MBlissful living – Everyday!

Over the course of the year we tend to wait until November and December each year to celebrate the abundance of joy and happiness in our lives. Why is that? We celebrate with lavish gifts and too much food.  I say, break it all down over the course of the year to feel more joy and abundance every day of our lives.

Each of us contains within us the capacity to change the world, to make it a better place – by creating and elevating our own level of happiness and by sharing that happiness with others.  As a speaker, I have witnessed other people’s face light up every time I offer the audience an opportunity to share their most joyful moments with the group. Taking control of your own happiness means your positive mood will affect others, especially those closest to you.

In 2010, Harvard Med School’s Dr. Nicholas Christakis and University of California – San Diego’s, Dr. James H. Fowler conducted a study on, “How Social Networks Affect Mood”.  The study suggests that “happiness is influenced not only by the people you know, but by the people they know.”

“Happiness spreads through social networks like a virus”, says Fowler. It can affect people we don’t even know.

The most significant changes found by the doctors were seen in the first three degrees of separation.  The study found that your happiness levels increase:

15% in immediate contacts;

10% in 2nd degree contacts, a friend of a friend

6% in 3rd degree contacts a friend, of a friend, of a friend

Wow!  It is so empowering to know that we all have the capacity to feel more joy simply by knowing happy people.

Fowler said, “We need to think of happiness as a collective phenomenon – If I come home in a bad mood – I may be missing an opportunity to make not just my wife and son happy, but their friends, too.”

To create more inner happiness, that reflects outward, adopt a Merry Blissmas attitude.  Embrace “holiday spirit” living every day of your life. Take baby steps.  Begin learning the habits of happy people, then incorporate some of those habits into your own life.  Studies have shown that it takes a minimum of 21 days to make “something” a habit and that those habits take practice.  Star athletes, musicians, and dancers, practice, practice, practice.

Here are six common practices that just might help you along the way:

  • Be grateful – We ALL have something to be grateful for; like food, clothing, heat, children, snow days, smiles, music, partners, and lovers.  You get the point.  Live with thank you more often. 
  • Savor simple pleasures – When was the last time you sat in a park watching the birds or listening to children play?  Stop for a few minutes every day to enjoy and savor the simple pleasures of life, nature is full of wonder and amazement. 
  • Join in – Be a part of “something”; engage yourself in a cause, a club, a city council, a religious group.  Participate in something you believe in.
  • Love yourself – To truly love anyone, we must love ourselves first.  Create a self-love appreciation list and look at it often.
  • Surround yourself with happy, supportive people – You saw the statistics above, positive energy is contagious.  Your happy level will increase simply by being around happy people.
  • Ease up – Don’t beat yourself up on the off days.  We all have them.  Give yourself permission to feel crabby, angry, frustrated.  Simply allow it to move through you and reconnect with those moments of joy, happiness, and gratitude as quickly as possible.

Live your bliss.  We were born to be happy. Enjoy the trip by being as happy as possible and share that joy with those whose lives you touch.

Merry Blissmas to all and joyful year!

People of Values Are People To Value

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One day I was walking behind a young man who was smoking a cigarette. When finished, he flicked it high into the air, I guess aiming for the street. In an odd twist of circumstance, the wind caught the still lit butt, sending it back over his shoulder and into my face, leaving a small burn on my right cheek.

He did not look back to see where his cigarette landed. He did not think about the possible impact of his actions. I understand because I smoked for twenty-two years. There were many times I threw my butts out without thinking about the consequences of my actions. Did I ever burn anyone? Did I start a fire on the roadside? Did someone ever step barefooted on a still lit cigarette of mine? Did a toddler ever pick up one I threw out? Who did pick up my tossed out butts? What kind of negative impact did my cigarette butts have on wildlife and the natural world?

I understand what it is like to behave without thinking about the consequences of my actions. As a smoker I rarely considered the negative impact my cigarettes had on others. I did not stop to think that I was not entitled to force my cigarette smoke on other people, children, or my pets. I also did not stop to consider it was not my right to throw my cigarette butts and trash on a public street with the arrogant expectation someone else is responsible for cleaning up after me.

I am grateful for the day I accepted that I am completely responsible for the behavior I put out. That was the day I began caring how my actions impact me and how they may impact someone else.

The interesting thing is, I am the one who benefits most from caring about my behavior. Other people may never know how remaining aware of my actions benefited them, but it never fails that I feel FANTASTIC about me by choosing to do the responsible thing.

Our ego rationalizes behavior after the fact. Heart seeks to determine the possible consequences before we act. Asking “How will it feel?” is the key which opens the door to our heart. Taking time to put ourselves in another person’s shoes before we act allows us to be aware of how uncomfortable, frustrated, or lonely it feels to be on the receiving end of rude and thoughtless behavior. Caring moves us from irresponsible and self-centered to responsible and unselfish – two qualities of people of admirable character.

Christmas is a time we celebrate the birth of an impeccable man of character who was peaceful, compassionate, loyal, courageous, patient, forgiving, honest, generous, non-violent, kind, inclusive, fair, accepting, and responsible. These are some of the many values the man called Jesus lived. Two thousand years after his death the goal remains for us to adopt these conscious behaviors of love as guidelines for how we live too, because it is people of values who are people to value.

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