Living In Fear? Find Solitude

How many times has someone said to you, “It will be ok” and you smiled because if you didn’t they’d keep talking?   Do you get tired of well-intentioned friends encouraging you with “This too shall pass?”  Do you just want to be left alone to feel what you’re feeling?

There are so many good people who want to help you through whatever you’re going through and you know you can rely on them.  However, when we are at an all time low about our lot in life, all of the words of support and encouragement can fall flat.  I know because I’ve been in some very low places and despite all the good intentions the voice in my head was just saying, “Yeah, right.  You don’t understand.”

If you’re feeling that way I encourage you to go to a place where you can be alone.  You need the time to think for yourself, to feel what is causing you pain and then to decide for yourself what you’ll do now or next.  If you’re around others their voices will drown out your own especially if they are determined to help you.  And right now you need to hear your own voice because it’s the only one you’re going to believe.

In this time of solitude allow yourself to vent out every emotion you have.  You’re safe… no one can hear you and you don’t have to worry about what they might think.

I encourage you to give voice to your worst fears.  Create the scenario in your head about everything that could go wrong.  When Jack was first diagnosed with leukemia and then again with cancer my worst fears were that he would die and I’d be alone, broke and homeless.  None of those things have happened but they were real fears to me.

If you did this with a friend they would be the first to tell you that you’re overreacting… and you are but you don’t need them to make you feel bad about yourself.  (Even if they are trying to help!)

The point of this exercise is to release the fears rather than burying them.  If you try to hide them or avoid them then they are always there and will come out when you need them least.  Instead by exposing your fears to the light you can see them for what they are… figments of your vivid imagination.

The interesting thing about our worst fears is that 93% of the time they never come to fruition.  Knowing that has helped me focus on a differently likelihood.   I’ll bet my life on the lesser outcomes than I’m going to bet on the 7%.   Perhaps you’re thinking that with your luck you’ll fall into the exception range.  That’s your ego talking.  “I’m different, I’m special, I’m the exception to the rule.”  This is not a time to let your ego take over because your ego isn’t your friend… it’s your ego and you need to avoid it like you’re avoiding other people right now.

Once you have vented out your fears, sit, do nothing, and enjoy the release of those emotions.  In that silence you will hear your soul’s voice… the one you’ll believe when it says to you “We’ll get through this.  I have your back.”   Your voice is the only one that matters when you’re dealing with your life.  Everything that comes from your soul comes from a place of love, kindness and respect. And that is what you need to hear right now.   And that is all you need to know.  Therein lies peace.