A safe harbor where beliefs are respected and kindness prevails.

Illness or Just ‘The Way We Are?’

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Fotolia_4917303_Subscription_LThree times in the last week I have woken in the middle of the night and not been able to get back to sleep. I viewed this as a problem…that something was “wrong” with me that needed to be fixed. Oh dear, what should I do? I have had this problem on and off all my life and it seems to come and go…it seems to happen more when I am under stress. Oddly it seems to happen when I have done strenuous exercise during that day. Shouldn’t that make me sleep better?

This morning, as I was doing my regular review of Facebook posts, I found one posted listing an article that states that, up until we lighted our cities, this is the WAY WE SLEPT…in segments! It makes sense that when it got dark, we would go to sleep. Now, we stay up late into the night with our amazing electrical devices keeping us awake and entertained.

Ironically, that is what I turn to when I am awake in the early hours of the morning…the television!

So, in an instant, I went from a lifetime of thinking there was something “wrong”, instead, perhaps I was just doing what the genetics of my body have done for thousands of years!

Wow, erasing a lifetime problem with one Facebook article!

Thank you to the people who did the research and to the person that posted it! Here is the link.

What a HUGE shift in attitude this is for me. It makes me wonder how many other things in my life that I consider “problems” really aren’t. What a giant weight off my shoulders!

We are living in an amazing time of shared knowledge. What we pull out of the ever-growing “collective book of knowledge” depends greatly on our attitude. If you are looking for darkness, surely you will find it. There is more than enough to go around. But, if instead, you BELIEVE that the lighted wisdom is coming through more and more, that is what you will magnetically draw to you. With the state of communication such as it is in this time, you can attract ANY kind of information to you that you BELIEVE you can.

Form follows thought, now more than ever.

Now, I just have to figure out what to do with these middle of the night sessions…and of course that could mean going to sleep earlier too! I need to get enough sleep to be sure, but understanding that this is not an illness gives me a better starting place to find a new way to get enough sleep IN this electronic age. I don’t really want to go back to being a cave person but I do want to operate at my very best.

Create a Sacred Living Space

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Fotolia_48297255_Subscription_XXLWhen you dream of creating a sacred and beautiful living space what does it look and feel like? For me it’s a feeling of warmth and comfort. The way I feel when I visit my Mom. The sanctuary she’s created makes me feel safe, comfortable and lovingly adored. A part of this is the connection we share, but it’s also freshly laundered sheets, vases of fragrant flowers and everything in its place. My mother is the mistress of creating an oasis where you can exhale and relax while taking in the beauty of her gorgeous living space.

The 100-year-old Craftsman home I live in with my family is cozy, warm and inviting. The walls in our living space are painted with warm, rich colors. Granny apple green, barn red and sunflower yellow make for a colorful environment and complement the maple flooring and custom cabinets. Original paintings and photographs cover the walls. Most of the art was created by local artisans, close friends and my talented daughter.

Look around the room and you will find heirlooms and treasures from holiday adventures. Every piece has a story. My favorite painting by Simon Bull came home with me from a shopping trip at The Lanes in Brighton, UK. After sharing a delightful visit with an artist, a piece of his exquisite pottery traveled over the Atlantic to be on display in our kitchen. The wool throw on my favorite chair came from a small shop in Bruges. Our second floor hallway is covered with photographs from exciting adventures to Hawaii, Antigua, Aruba, Scotland, England, Germany, Holland and many more wonderful places.

  • What does your ideal environment look like?
  • How does this living space make you feel?
  • How does this compare to your current environment?

Here are five steps to create your sacred living space:

Clean up your environment

Creating a nurturing space begins by cleaning and de-cluttering your environment. Years ago my particular brand of cleaning was out-of-sight, out-of-mind. I would fly through the house unconsciously stashing away items in drawers, closets and cupboards. As long as the immediate area was free and clear, I could breathe a little easier; that is until I went to find whatever it was I’d absentmindedly put away!

Chances are you have at least one large bag full of items in each room of your house that you could be rid of. When was the last time you donated your gently used items to Goodwill. Have you considered selling some of your old books, electronics or CDs on Ebay? Is there a neighbor who could use some of the items that no longer serve you?

Want to get a jump-start on cleaning up your space? Hire a cleaning service to clean your home. Make a list of all of the areas you wish to be cleaned and make it happen. You can find a number of cleaning services Online. Look for Molly Maid or Merry Maids. Better yet, ask a friend if they can recommend someone.

Once you’ve cleaned up your living space and work space it’s time to take inventory of your belongings.

Keep only meaningful items 

Let go of old clothing, dishes, linens and outdated decorations. Clean out folders and shred old documents to create more spaciousness. There is something rewarding about keeping only the items that you love and the essential documents you may need. You can let go of all the rest. Take a minute to request electronic invoices for your credit cards, bank statements and cell phone bills. Recycle old magazines or donate them to your local library.

Do you plan to keep all of your children’s grade school work forever? Choose a few items from each grade and store these special treasures in a safe place. I have gorgeous box for all of my daughter’s special school projects. One box contains everything we decided to keep from kindergarten to eighth grade.

How many gifts have you received that you are hanging on to just in case the person who gave you the gift comes for a visit? Will your Aunt Beverly be devastated if you give away the tea set you never use? Do you really need to keep every present you’ve ever received? What can you let go of that no longer serves you?

Imagine what would your home be like if it contained only items that were either highly functional, meaningful and beautiful.

Color, texture and light

After you’ve eliminated most of the non-essential items from your living space, you can begin to personalize your environment. What is your favorite color? Do you have anything in your living space that is this color? When was the last time you painted your living room, kitchen, bedroom? Is it time for a color change?

I love going to the spa. When my husband and I renovated our master bath my goal was to create a spa like feeling on a shoe-string budget. Can you recreate a spa environment in your bathroom? How would it feel to slip into a luxurious cotton robe and warm slippers after a relaxing bath? You can easily create a spa environment with a new shower curtain, bamboo or Egyptian cotton towels, candles and soft music.

What about your bedroom? Is the place you sleep, dream and make love an oasis or an eyesore? What might your sanctuary feel like with a high thread count sheets, a new duvet for your comforter and the absence of a computer or television set?

You can breathe new life into your kitchen by getting rid of cracked dishes and mismatched glasses and coffee cups. I collect Fiestaware and don’t like the coffee cups that come with each place setting. Rather than store them, I passed them along to a friend with a yoga studio. Add a new throw rug, get rid of worn out pans and trashed utensils. Keep a vase on your dining table for fresh flowers, greens, dried grasses or eucalyptus.

Can you see how could can improve the feel of your living space easily and inexpensively?

Invite nature in

My home and office contain natural gifts from the shores and forests of Michigan. I love to collect wild flowers, pussy willows, cat tails, beach stones, pine cones, driftwood and acorns.

Fresh flowers bring more beauty into any environment. I have a single rose in a vase on my desk. You can invite nature in to your home with a beach stone or shell collection. I live in an area with four seasons and collect and display items that represent mother nature’s seasonal offerings.

Another fun way to let nature in is to have some fun with your camera. Get outside and capture images of your favorite tree, flower or breathtaking sunset. You can easily enlarge and print your image, pop it in a frame and Voila! You’ve just brought something you love from nature into your personal space.

Set the mood

Music and aromatherapy are perfect for staging the desired mood of your environment. Feel like dancing? What kind of music might you be listening to? Need to chill out and relax? Classical music or a new age playlist might be a good choice.

You can enhance your environment with scented candles, incense and essential oils. Lavender is perfect for a calming effect. Citrus will awaken your senses. I love burning the earthy sweet scent of Shoyeido White Cloud incense when I bathe or meditate. Before bed I sometimes spritz my pillows with lavender or rose water and often smudge my home with white sage to clear negative energy.

Begin to create your nurturing sanctuary by clarifying how you want to feel in your own space. Once you know what you want, it’s time to clean and clear the area. Then it’s time get rid of the items that longer serve you. Say goodbye to clutter, one room at a time. Paint the walls, add a new throw rug, pillow or special blanket. Invite nature in with flowers, collections from nature and landscape photography. Create the desired mood with your favorite music and aromatherapy. Follow these simple steps and enjoy your new sacred living space.

Thriving Through Nature’s Timing

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“There are times to cultivate and create, when you nurture your world and give birth to new ideas and ventures. There are times of flourishing and abundance, when life feels in full bloom, energized and expanding. And there are times of fruition, when things come to an end. They have reached their climax and must be harvested before they begin to fade. And finally of course, there are times that are cold, and cutting and empty, times when the spring of new beginnings seems like a distant dream. Those rhythms in life are natural events. They weave into one another as day follows night, bringing, not messages of hope and fear, but messages of how things are.” –Chogyam Trungpa

The thought of fall was in the air today. A strong breeze was blowing leaves and sticks, and I was so thankful for low humidity and much cooler temperatures. I love mornings like this. It allows me to be one with nature while doing yoga and meditation. Here in the Roanoke Valley where I live, it has been a hotter than normal summer season. I have been saying for a while now, “I am so looking forward to fall.” Fall has always been my favorite season. I love the crunch of the leaves, the brilliant colors, the way leaves twirl through the air and the smell of change. My body’s rhythm is very connected to this season. It is when I feel the best inside and out, and I prepare for fall as though I am preparing for guests. As women, I truly believe we nurture our favorite season and prepare for its arrival in many ways. What I want to cook and eat changes, the dishes I use changes, and the beds are dressed differently as well. I put up a different ornamentation on my door and change the look inside my home to reflect my love for fall. Outside, I put my gardens to sleep for the winter and trim and save seeds for the next season.

We all have these same seasonal rhythms in our body. We follow right along with nature, and we become one with each season. Our body changes with the seasons, with the weather, with the atmospheric conditions. Many people can tell in their bones, especially women, when a change in weather is coming. Human bodies are in sync with the forces, shifts, cold and heat, light and dark, humidity and all the other variations that the seasons bring. They respond and shift their functioning according to these natural dynamics. All living organisms change with the different rhythms and seasons. Seasonal changes are important to my body due to chronic illness and pain.

Regardless of location or traditional cultures, there is an awareness that we are continuously affected by the changing of seasons. Knowing this, as we care for our health and our bodies, we are able to adapt compassionately to the natural rhythms of the earth. This is especially true for me in the winter season. The coldest season of all can cause tremendous pain and health issues. I plan for the rhythm of this season and treat myself with loving kindness, lots of blankets, warm teas and great books.  Learning to live within the seasonal fluctuations is believed to bring health, harmony and strength to the body. It also provides a natural timetable and rhythm for a good service check and health care program for maintenance and upkeep to prevent accumulated stress, anxiety and depression from our body’s responses.

Sometimes we fail to adapt our habits to be more compatible with the rhythms of seasonal changes. By being aware of some of these changes throughout the year we can support shifting body dynamics so as to assist the changes. We can also take advantage of these natural shifting points to expand those dynamics that are increasing/flowing and rest those that are decreasing/ebbing. Many of us set up associations of food, drink, activities, energies, dress and emotions that are related to and affected by the seasonal shifts.

The seasonal rhythms are meant to be celebrated, nurtured and loved as all of nature is intended to be. When our patterns are ebbing and flowing according to their natural rhythms, our body is perfectly synchronized and performs at its peak. We have effortless energy and vitality when we live in accordance with nature and seasonal rhythms. We learn lessons from the rhythms of each season; it is a warm and compelling adventure that enables us to see ourselves with fresh tenderness. In an engaging manner, it offers hope and encouragement in the face of the hectic, stress-filled demands of life.

I hope this has inspired each of us to become “Mindful” of the rhythms of each season and embrace the newness in our hearts as something to cherish and look forward to. Fall will be here soon, what simplistic rhythms fill your heart with joy and love?

Reflections – Fall 2014

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_MG_2725I’ve worn glasses all my life, and last month mine needed to be sent back to the manufacturer to be repaired. At my age seeing anything close up without help is, well, nearly impossible. After all I read and write for a living. So out came an old pair (that I had to dig through boxes to find). Wearing them for a week, it turned out, provided clarity for my life, in spite of my blurry vision.

It’s no secret that I’ve experienced a series of life-changing events. With the exception of my marriage, every other part of my life has been turned upside down in these last five years. What was important to me before . . . in my career, my climbing-up-the-ladder days . . . was gone in an instant. My security, my confidence, my peace of mind were all based on my job and what it enabled me to do.

As I moved through the last few years of turmoil, I judged my now by my past. When I put those old glasses on, it became blatantly clear to me that they didn’t work very well anymore . . . and, likewise, looking at my current life through the lens of my past doesn’t either.

What I thought or did before may have brought me to this point, but it is what I choose to see right now that enables me to be happy, now. And now is all that matters.   Because now is when I can make a difference.

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