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Embrace Life with a Beginner’s Mind

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“In the beginner’s mind there are many possibilities. In the expert’s mind there are few.” – Shunryu Suzuki

Shoshin is a concept in Zen Buddhism which means Beginner’s Mind. Shoshin refers to the openness, curiosity, and lack of preconception a beginner brings to their study and practice of new material.

Those who practice Shoshin experience learning just as fresh as a neophyte would, even when studying at an advanced level.

I define Beginner’s Mind as allowing new experiences to unfold without expectations – to become immersed in the experience, rather than in my thoughts about how the experience should be.

This openness allows me to indulge my curiosity, plunge into uncharted waters, and remain a dedicated and interested student of life.

As the mother of a young daughter, I witness the beauty of Beginner’s Mind every day.

This maternal observation, coupled with the fact that I am an experiential learner, supports a natural state of wonderment—a way to squeeze more sweetness out of every day.

When you have no preconceptions, there is no room for internal competition or an overactive ego, and no need to be fully proficient. It’s more about showing up and seeing what happens next.

Here are some examples of how Shoshin shows up in my life. As you read through these examples, I invite you to draw parallels to your own work, activities, and interests.

Photography

Capturing landscape images is one of my great passions. My camera is my creative partner when exploring the breathtaking Sleeping Bear National Lakeshore in northern Michigan. The rich textures, light, and colors of the area are pure perfection.

Each time I venture outdoors with my camera, Beginner’s Mind is with me.  What I love most about photography is the very private expression of what is on public display: The entire world through the lens of a camera. I have a never-ending appetite for capturing great and crushing beauty, and that one perfect expression.

Cooking

I am a fearless cook, thanks to being raised by a mama who was always experimenting with new recipes. I love to prepare, and enjoy, good food. When I find new recipes that sound delicious, I make them without hesitation.

Learning about new ingredients and cooking methods is a lot of fun. My current mission is preparing healthier recipes. It’s an exploration, and my family has suffered through a few lousy dinners, but I’m staying open to the possibilities. After all, anyone can learn to cook if they’re willing to make a big mess and eat a few less-than-appetizing meals.

Painting

Last winter I signed up for a virtual painting class to learn how to paint. I had been fantasizing about painting for years. The 6-month course challenged me to paint the goddess within. From the first brush stroke to the last, I experienced a beautiful way to bring more creativity and peace into my life.

Learning how to paint without self-judgement and expectation kept me in the zone of Beginner’s Mind.

Writing

Writing is something that snuck up on me and spun me about. I love to write and have coauthored three best- selling books. My first solo book, Life on Your Terms was an enormous undertaking.

Thanks to Beginner’s Mind, I was able to make small steps, and ask for support along the way from technical writers and copy editors. When preparing and birthing manuscripts and digital programs, Beginner’s Mind makes all the difference in how you experience the process.

Archery

I have a beautiful longbow that I shoot occasionally. Sometimes I even hit the target!  I don’t shoot to hit the bull’s eye, though. For me, it’s about the process, and being in the moment. Slowing down my breath, setting up the shot, pulling back on the string as I inhale, then releasing with a whoosh on each exhale.

What’s more, every shot that’s released has a chance of hitting the target, and the chances get better the more I breathe, focus and remain unattached to the outcome.

Transformational Coaching

Transformational coaching is my passion and professional calling. One of the reasons why I love the business of mentoring is because each client session beckons me to be fully present, curious and supportive.

Even though I have hundreds of hours of coaching experience, I am humbled by how much there is for me to learn. My job is to show up without any preconceived notion, listen and learn. Staying in Shoshin helps me do my best work for others.

All you need to enjoy Beginner’s Mind is the courage to step forward with an open mind and allow your curiosity to unfold. There’s no need for perfection. You don’t have to be great at everything you have an interest in. Instead, become a student of life. You deserve to sample, experiment, investigate, and experience life with unfiltered enthusiasm!

Questions:

Have you experienced Beginner’s Mind? How did it feel?

What are you most curious about?

What is stopping you from experimenting with a new interest?

How will you infuse Beginner’s Mind into your life and expertise?

Disappointment: Coming into the Light

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Fotolia_28458918_Subscription_XXLFear and worry, overwhelmed and stuck, exhaustion and confusion: these are the big common terms that self-help leaders discuss at length. However, one of the most insidious killers of successful living is that quiet, subtle, dangerous beast: disappointment.

The majority of us experience disappointment with regularity, and some of us experience it almost every day in relationships, careers, and experiences that are not fulfilling. Cancelled plans, constant excuses, small results on a big project, no payoff for plenty of effort, lack of communication, lack of whatever you need most:  all are experiences that can create those pangs of disappointment. The sad reality is that most of us don’t take any time to manage this, let alone capitalize on it.

When it arises, disappointment creates a lot of havoc in our daily lives, but it’s usually a quiet type of upheaval. The results are more akin to termites eating away at the foundational structure of your home than a tornado flattening your whole house. It happens within, and the damage can be long-term and costly.

When our hopes and, more often, our expectations are not satisfied, the feeling of disappointment can overcome us so completely that we stop fully living in the present. Instead, we fixate on what didn’t go right, what should have been, reliving that moment over and over. Sometimes we disappoint ourselves with our choices and actions, and sometimes we allow other people to disappoint our expectations of what we wanted of them.

Either way, allowing anger, bitterness, sorrow, or shock to consume or even stop us in our tracks is not something that needs to happen. We don’t need to let disappointment keep us from feeling successful in our daily lives and relationships. We have the power to make this happen less and less and start to embrace our real circumstances more honestly and joyfully.

“Stuff happens” is a term I hear a lot (and it’s more colorful, expletive-laced version!). But it tends to dismiss disappointment as a luxury, or even a “spoiled”  reaction to unfortunate things that happen to us. It denies the actuality that when we want more, reach for more, or attempt to create better in our lives, it doesn’t always happen for us immediately. Charles Stanley said, “Disappointment is inevitable. But to become discouraged, there’s a choice I make.” Discouragement may be the worst effect of disappointment. It reduces our confidence, fills us with sorrow, and stops us from moving forward and trying again as soon and significantly as we might.

We need powerful tactics to manage disappointment. Keeping it simple is the key. First, acknowledge the disappointment for what it is when it happens. Everyone registers this with different variations: feeling let down, bummed out, dissatisfied, annoyed and sad are all aspects of this beast of disappointment. When you feel any of these, remind yourself that although your hopes or expectations were not met, you are still whole and undamaged at your core, what I call “Well at core.” This is the key to keeping perspective when dealing with the shock of whatever has disappointed you.

Next, choose one of two empowering options, based on the intensity of your disappointment. For the smaller, less devastating disappointments, take immediate action. Do something powerful and proactive to move forward. Do not fall into the “pity wallowing trap” under any circumstances!  When little things that are out of our control happen to disappoint us, it’s far too easy to feel bad for ourselves and really let that self-pity slow us down and stop us in a state of complaining or even bitter seething. I witness this all the time. Instead, do something immediately after. Once you’ve acknowledged that you’re disappointed but still “Well at core,” immediately refocus your attention to something forward-moving and positive. By making your period of dealing with the disappointment productive, you won’t feel like you got waylaid by circumstances outside of your control.

For the larger, heavier disappointments, I like to engage the 24 hour rule. In case you don’t know it, this is a common practice of many high achievers, and the principle is simple: for any win or loss, give yourself 24 hours to either celebrate your win or mourn your loss, and then proceed with your plan and general routines. Big disappointments often need to be mourned as losses in this way. Sometimes it is simply not enough to refocus and take action, but rather go inward and care more deeply for yourself. Take the day off, have a satisfying meal, go do something that always brings you pleasure or joy, and boost yourself with that little extra while you process the sting of the disappointment. Throughout, remind yourself that you are always and still “Well at core.”

Finally, once you have managed the immediate effects of the disappointment, capitalize on it by exploring its source. Ask yourself: What is this disappointment bringing to light? What can I do to prevent it from happening again? What have I learned or gained from it? What will I do more of in future? Start taking action on your answers.

You always have the option to either change your circumstances or change your beliefs. If you don’t have the means to change your circumstances just yet, you can always change your beliefs about them so that disappointment does not appear again and again. Yes, it can and mostly likely will be challenging, but that is why disappointment comes into our lives. Disappointment can be not just a sneaky beast, but a beaming light that reminds us to create the best circumstances that sustain us, and adopt beliefs that serve us to be more joyful and more whole.

How to Embrace Change

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Fotolia_51617268_Subscription_XXLThe idea of Embracing Change comes into our lives many times. The question is, do we embrace those changes or do we hide from them? Change usually comes swiftly, and when it is difficult, how truly prepared are we? We seem to embrace good change with happiness and gratitude; difficult change makes us want to hide under the covers. I have witnessed and experienced both, just as you have. Job loss, losing a loved one, illness, break-ups, family and friend situations that can leave us feeling stuck and keep us from living the life we desire and deserve.

The most significant life-altering change I have ever experienced happened to me four years ago at this exact time. It was a hot September day when I was told by my doctor that I needed to permanently quit my job due to the seriousness of being diagnosed with Lupus and several other chronic illnesses. As if I had left my body and was watching myself from across the room, I could feel the life being sucked out of me.. A few minutes passed before I was able to gather myself together in one piece again. My husband was asking me questions, and I was just sitting there with tears rolling down my cheeks in a daze.

Five months later when I, in a profound truth, accepted the fact that nothing lasts forever and change is part of life, I became better equipped for the journey. Struggle occurs when we resist reality. So the best way to end the struggle is to embrace the impermanence of life. Enjoy the good, and remember that the not-so-good times are just temporary. The light will appear at the end of the tunnel, it is bound to happen, you just need simple practices that bring you home to your truest self.

How to embrace change:

1. Don’t do anything, just sit still and be silent.

If you’re facing a massive rescaling of your life, your first impulse will be to go into a whirring spin of activity and mind chaos, which is exactly what I did right after I was diagnosed. I later discovered there’s a lot of value in sitting quietly and being with yourself in thought instead. You need to allow yourself periods of silence to find clarity and resolve.

 2. Listen to your wise heart.

When others know we are going through a change, it seems they become experts on what we need to do. Advice comes: what we should do, what we shouldn’t do. It can be frustrating. I am not saying we don’t need support from others, we do … what I am saying is to listen to your inner voice and listen from your heart. Your heart guides you. You become very intuitive. You gain more confidence to question what is best. You learn to begin over exactly where you are.

3.  Learn to live with uncertainty.

Allowing life to unfold in the present will keep you from worrying over questions and solutions that may never even evolve. This is also a great way to add creativity and newness to your life. You might feel anxious, but that does not signal that you’re doing something wrong, only that you’re trying something new. Uncertainty when used as a tool opens up so many possibilities we never even knew existed.

4. Shed your old skin.

Discard physical clutter, tired ideas, old routines. Seek out a coach or mentor … seeing things through another’s eyes can help. This is one of the most helpful practices I embraced. I learned practices that still serve me well today. I continue to cultivate practices I learned over three years ago (mindfulness, meditation, breath practice, daily ritual and so many more).

5. Ignore your inner reptile.

There’s a part of the human mind that is often referred to as the “lizard brain,” because it existed in the earliest land animals. The lizard brain is concerned with survival; it likes the tried and true so it’s likely to pipe up at any time, flooding you with adrenaline warnings of “Danger!” This was a handy function to have when deviating from the familiar path to the watering hole. But in the modern world it’s based within our ego and emerges when we feel fearful of things that are out of our control or by mind sets we pay attention to that have no thought or reasoning. It is our flight or fight instinct. Learn to ignore these thoughts, or talk to them and watch them go … pouf!

6. Learn self-care, self-compassion, self-love.

This is another one of my favorite practices, maybe indeed my favorite. Start learning how to become your own best friend, and be gentle with yourself. When familiar routines suddenly change, it can seem as if all your ideals are gone. For a while after I lost my health, I had the sense that I was in a free fall. I lost my identities that were so inner twined. While absorbing the shock of the new, it’s crucial to make yourself feel well taken care of. Put yourself first, not in a selfish way, but in a self-full way.

The ability to go from resisting change to embracing change can happen. It may not happen overnight, but that is okay. You are the only one who can make the choice to resist or embrace change. The next time you are faced with an experience which causes your reality to change, take a deep breath and take a step back. It is okay to be concerned or frustrated, you are human after all. Once the emotions have calmed down, just remember … we are all works in progress.

One Size Does Not Fit All

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Fotolia_49656615_Subscription_XXLWe always hear “Everyone is different,” but when it comes to exercise and the latest diet, most folks don’t question the validity of the program … they jump on the wagon with everyone else, hoping for the fantastic results advertised.

It is important to understand exercise and food are medicine and need to be prescribed based on the client’s genetics, needs, and abilities.

Let us look at food and how the body can respond (a good effect) or react (a poor effect.)

This is a basic understanding so that you can begin to grasp how your body works.

Some of us are considered Fast metabolizers (protein types) while others are Slow metabolizers (carbohydrate types [don’t get excited]), and then there are hybrids called Mixed types (a combination of protein /carbohydrate).

Here’s a simple breakdown of how each one works:

Protein Types 

Protein types are able to breakdown carbohydrates at a faster rate, which then allows the sugars (glucose) into the blood steam at an elevated rate. Normal levels range from a fasting level of 70–100 decimeters to 135–140 decimeters after a meal. When levels go above this, you begin to feel the negative affects.

 As a protein type you do best on vegetables as your carbohydrate source, and higher purine proteins (meat, fish, fowl, eggs). Protein sources such as salmon, red meats, dark meat poultry, and organ meats have a higher fat and/or purine content.

Carbohydrate Type

A carbohydrate type is a slow oxidizer and breaks down carbohydrates at a much slower rate. This releases the sugars (glucose) into the blood stream at a tolerable rate so there is an appropriate insulin response.

Carbohydrate types usually do better on lite meat proteins such as chicken breast, white fish meats, egg whites, and more vegetables. Remember when I said “Don’t get excited?” Here’s the catch to being a carb type. Just because, as a carbohydrate type, you can handle carbs better, doesn’t mean you should be eating pasta, breads, grains pastries, and sugars.

Mixed Type

Then there is a Mixed type. These folks vacillate between a Protein type and a Carbohydrate type. They have the most variety in their food choices but also have more of a challenge knowing their responses to the foods they are eating. For instance, if they are working out hard, they may feel the need for more protein. When they are spending more time working at their job using their minds concentrating, they may wish to increase their vegetables (carbs) intake.

These different metabolic types help us understand why some folks do really well on high protein diets such as the Atkins, and others do not. Some folks do great on high carb/low fat diets while others pack on the pounds.

So this is why one size can’t fit all.

Here are a few keys to help you to begin understanding what type you might fall into.

Signs you could be a fast oxidizer:

  • After eating a high carbohydrate meal you feel a cloudy head, tired but wired.
  • After eating a meal with carbs you feel hungry or want to take a nap.
  • Highs and lows in your energy.
  • ADD/ADHD symptoms.
  • Anxiety
  • Headaches.
  • You may possibly have chronic issues such as depression, toxicity, neck/shoulder pain, lower back pain, sleep poorly, adrenal stress, immune system issues, diabetes, constipation or diarrhea.

Signs you could be a carbohydrate type:

  • After eating a high fat/protein meal you feel lethargic, sluggish, too heavy in your gut, crave sweets, or some kind of stimulants such as coffee or tea.
  • You may possibly be dealing with chronic depression, overweight, toxicity, not getting a good response from aerobic exercise, neck/shoulder pain, lower back pain, aging too quickly, adrenal fatigue, ill health, low energy, and bad body odor.

You’ll notice that many of the chronic responses for both of the types are the same. This is because when you are eating incorrectly for your type, your body can react in common ways.

Here is a good way to start once you have figured out your possible type:

  •  A Protein type should consume dark, heavier proteins/fats with vegetables.
  • A Carb type should stick to lighter proteins and more vegetables.
  • As a Mixed type you get to experiment a bit more trying a couple days as a protein type, and then the next couple days as a carb type. You can then take note of the differences in how you feel.

You see, your body will actually tell you what type you are by it’s response (good) or reaction (poor) to the foods you eat.

When you eat a meal and it is right for you, you will actually have more energy than before you ate. You should feel a state of well-being, and should be able to sustain good energy till your next meal 3.5 to 4 hours later. You should have a clear head with good mental focus, and have no cravings for sweets or more food. This means eating the right foods in the right portions. Overeating is not healthy. It takes an incredible amount of energy for your body to breakdown/digest, and assimilate food.

We always want to choose high quality foods that have been minimally processed. This means organic, free range, wild caught, no hormones or antibiotics, no pesticides, herbicides, rodenticides or chemical fertilizers.

Once you begin to feed your body the way it is designed, all manner of health benefits will begin to emerge.

There really is no big secret to eating healthy and enjoying the benefits of properly feeding your body. These benefits include losing excess body fat, which has for the past forty years become a national obsession with little result.

Eating healthy for your individual type is so simple.

Quality foods that are not processed are first and foremost. Secondly, becoming aware of eating what feels best for your body. Lastly, choosing the right portions without overeating. These three simple steps will go a long way to increasing your health and wellness so you feel and perform at your very best.

Start feeling what your body is telling you every time you eat and drink. Your body is amazing. It is giving you feedback every moment of the day. All that is required is to embrace what your body is telling you, and then take note. With just a little bit of attention you will quickly begin to understand how to eat in order to heal yourself and allow your body to thrive only on the foods it truly needs.

If you would like help with this, just drop me a line. I’ll be happy to coach you through it.

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