Do you ever have those moments, days, weeks or …… where you just doubt yourself? I do! In the past few years, I have surrounded myself with the Philosophy of Tantric Yoga and with as much of it which I read, study and surround myself in, one would think the self-doubt would go away. What I have come to realize is that it doesn’t just suddenly go away in a puff of smoke, but it takes a consistent effort on our part to clear the smoke from our eyes so we can see ourselves for who we really are— Divine.
I grew up Catholic and I have gleaned many wonderful things from Catholicism but I also carry around all the years of being told that we are not perfect, we are flawed in some way.
“We must work hard to clear our souls from sin and then maybe we will be worthy of Heaven.”
What I took away from Catholicism was Heaven is a future goal and there really is nothing one can do to be completely whole in the earth existence.
OK, maybe I have over simplified the church teachings but in general, religion taught me, to work hard to be forgiven for your sins and that your efforts will be rewarded in the future.
What about NOW?
Yogic philosophy, specifically the Philosophy of Tantra, teaches, we are good and perfect right now because our true nature is a piece of the Divine energy and therefore we are not flawed. The first time I heard that I felt a strong stirring in my being that whispered “Truth”. Instead of working to be forgiven for being born human, we seek to uncover the Pure Gold that is already inside us. We may need to “work” to uncover our own “Gold”, but it is there waiting to be found. As the sages say,
“That which you are seeking, is also seeking you.”
So why do we hold onto so much self-doubt and loathing? I think of the process of letting go of it as a personal treasure hunt. Something deep inside us “knows” or “feels” that we each have an innate goodness. As creations of the Universe, we are not flawed. We are just looking for the treasure map to find our “S”elf. Along the way we have forgotten to look into the mirror to tell ourselves we are loved and that we are beautiful. We need to remind ourselves daily that we are born with an innate goodness and when it is fostered and nourished, that goodness grows until we truly believe in our own Goodness which allows us to open up to let our life fully blossom. It takes tender and diligent gardening to get this to happen. But it is worthwhile. It is what we are all about—- beauty and love and seeing both in ourselves.
Everyday, instead of dwelling on what is wrong in your life or the world, reflect on what is beautiful. Start with your own heart. There is beauty there—- look deep and see it, feel it and know it.
Recently I was having one of those days, weeks….. of self-doubt with some self loathing mixed in. It didn’t feel good. I was having trouble being my own coach. Then, I got a love note from the Universe. After dinner at a Chinese Restaurant my fortune was just what I needed to remind me, comfort me and build my resolve to keep moving forward.
It is the fortune we all need to receive once in a while as a reminder—- so today I offer it to you because it is true- your heart is pure, your mind is clear, your soul devout. Take a deep breath and let the truth of your own beauty and innate goodness sink into your psyche.