A safe harbor where beliefs are respected and kindness prevails.

A Love Note from the Universe

by

A young woman exults the onset of the vivid sunset in french riviera...
A young woman exults the onset of the vivid sunset in french riviera…

Do you ever have those moments, days, weeks or …… where you just doubt yourself?   I do! In the past few years, I have surrounded myself with the Philosophy of Tantric Yoga and with as much of it which I read, study and surround myself in, one would think the self-doubt would go away. What I have come to realize is that it doesn’t just suddenly go away in a puff of smoke, but it takes a consistent effort on our part to clear the smoke from our eyes so we can see ourselves for who we really are— Divine.

I grew up Catholic and I have gleaned many wonderful things from Catholicism but I also carry around all the years of being told that we are not perfect, we are flawed in some way.

“We must work hard to clear our souls from sin and then maybe we will be worthy of Heaven.”

What I took away from Catholicism was Heaven is a future goal and there really is nothing one can do to be completely whole in the earth existence.

OK, maybe I have over simplified the church teachings but in general, religion taught me, to work hard to be forgiven for your sins and that your efforts will be rewarded in the future.

What about NOW?

Yogic philosophy, specifically the Philosophy of Tantra, teaches, we are good and perfect right now because our true nature is a piece of the Divine energy and therefore we are not flawed. The first time I heard that I felt a strong stirring in my being that whispered “Truth”.   Instead of working to be forgiven for being born human, we seek to uncover the Pure Gold that is already inside us. We may need to “work” to uncover our own “Gold”, but it is there waiting to be found. As the sages say,

“That which you are seeking, is also seeking you.”

So why do we hold onto so much self-doubt and loathing? I think of the process of letting go of it as a personal treasure hunt. Something deep inside us “knows” or “feels” that we each have an innate goodness. As creations of the Universe, we are not flawed. We are just looking for the treasure map to find our “S”elf. Along the way we have forgotten to look into the mirror to tell ourselves we are loved and that we are beautiful. We need to remind ourselves daily that we are born with an innate goodness and when it is fostered and nourished, that goodness grows until we truly believe in our own Goodness which allows us to open up to let our life fully blossom. It takes tender and diligent gardening to get this to happen. But it is worthwhile. It is what we are all about—- beauty and love and seeing both in ourselves.

Everyday, instead of dwelling on what is wrong in your life or the world, reflect on what is beautiful. Start with your own heart. There is beauty there—- look deep and see it, feel it and know it.

Recently I was having one of those days, weeks….. of self-doubt with some self loathing mixed in. It didn’t feel good. I was having trouble being my own coach. Then, I got a love note from the Universe. After dinner at a Chinese Restaurant my fortune was just what I needed to remind me, comfort me and build my resolve to keep moving forward.

 Rob

It is the fortune we all need to receive once in a while as a reminder—- so today I offer it to you because it is true- your heart is pure, your mind is clear, your soul devout. Take a deep breath and let the truth of your own beauty and innate goodness sink into your psyche.

Are You Dressed For The Weather?

by

beautiful girl freezing in winter parkDuring my morning mediation I read something that will inspire me to start the day. Lately, I have been reading a page or so of Thich Nhat Hanh’s writings. Two days in a row, I read a quote that stirred me, “Everyday we touch what is wrong, and as a result we become less and less healthy. That is why we have to practice touching what is not wrong—inside us and around us.”

I realized that just a few years ago I started every day with looking at what had to be done and worrying about how I was going to do it. “There isn’t enough time” “I don’t want to do these things”  “I wish I had more down time or time for myself.”

Today I thought, how did I get out of bed with all that negative chatter and intensity. I realize my meditation and morning centering— somehow filling myself with something positive— is making a difference on how I look at my day and my life.

It is the difference between being dressed for the weather and not. Going out in the morning on a brisk day in just your t-shirt and shivering or going out with a warm sweater and scarf. With  just the t-shirt you worry about hypothermia or fixate on the  constant thought of “I am cold”. With the sweater and scarf, you can take a deep breath and enjoy the feeling of the sun on your face.

For years I was going outside everyday in a t- shirt or less. I felt so vulnerable and many times during the day I was shivering- metaphorically.  I was so fixed on what was wrong in my day and life that I forgot to acknowledge the Miracle of my own existence.

“Hey you” ( speaking to myself)— “your heart is beating, your eyes are open, your body is functioning, you are breathing and you can see all the wonderful colors of life.”

Maybe there is intensity in your life. Maybe there is a lot to do. But slow it down and decide for yourself what is really necessary  and what isn’t.  Is there some way you can simplify your life in just one small way today? All this worry and anxiety is affecting your life center —- your heart.

Give yourself a break.  For me  to give myself a break I started a daily meditation practice. It has helped me immensely. It is not solving my problems but it gives me the space to look at them differently and make healthier decisions for myself. It gives me a space to work through them.  If meditation is not a possibility for your mindset at this time, read something inspirational or sit down and write yourself a love note.

“Dear me, I really do like you. Actually I love you. We are in this together and I am glad. We make a great team. Let’s keep growing and evolving and staying open to all the possibilities there are in life. “

Surrounding yourself in some way with LOVE every day of your life, from you to you—works.
It takes some time for it to take hold. Be patient. But keeping doing it.

Hanh says, “ When we take one conscious breath, aware of our eyes, our heart, our liver…
we are transported to Paradise right away. Peace is available. We only have to touch it.”

Rob Dorgan/Steve Bolia

*Source: Thich Nhat Hanh Essential Writings.

The Brink Of Revelation

by

Fotolia_28591994_Subscription_Monthly_MThe New Year, as we call it, is one of many man-made conventions for keeping time in order. It’s one of those things we invented so that everyone is able to speak a common language about time and, therefore, set appointments, make plans and stay organized in order to get things done. But is January 1st the best time to set a resolution of change for yourself?

There are other “New Year” celebrations throughout the year. The first day of Spring in mid-March is the start of nature’s New Year. It is when the energy of the planet in the Northern Hemisphere is ready to pop open new and fresh. Then there is the monthly New Moon which nurtures the ‘seed,’ which can represent our consciousness, or simply a new project. The seed starts the journey from the depths of the soil to emerge into the light of day. Or perhaps Samhain/Halloween, called Witch’s or Pagan New Year because the top part of the planet is going dormant to rest and gather strength for the next cycle of growth and expansion. Everything needs to gather strength before it can grow in a new and healthy way.

There are also other “New Year” demarcations throughout most religions and spiritualities that have nothing to do with January 1.

I believe every day is an opportunity for a new start, a new perspective, a step on a fresh path. Every day we are on the brink of revelation. But we have to go inside and listen to the silence. Many of us are afraid of the silence inside. But within the silence, we open ourselves up to hear the voice of our own inner guide. In Sanskrit it is called Atman, the inner guru, who knows us and guides us on our path of fulfillment and meaning. It guides us to find our purpose.

Any or every morning, when we wake up from our nighttime slumber, is an opportunity to ‘wake up’ from the slumber we are in during our waking hours. It is then, in that moment of awakening, we can make resolutions not only for our life but also for the present moment. We can open ourselves up to trying something different. The opportunity is there for us EVERY DAY and Every Moment.

I love January. It’s my birth month, and maybe for some of us, it is the best time to start a new resolve towards a path to be a better US. But it’s not the only time.

Most of us are searching for meaning and purpose in our lives, so we make resolutions to be a better person – whatever our concept of that may be. Have you ever thought “Who I am right now and what I am doing right now is exactly what I need to be doing for my growth?” “But,” you might say, “I am not happy as I am right now.” “I don’t feel good.” “I am over weight.” “I don’t like how I react to or judge people, etc, etc … ”

The thought that you want something better for yourself is “being at the point of revelation.” When your awareness lets you know or guides you to look at your life and shift your perspective, you are on the road to authentic change.

At that point of awareness, you might want to find ways to nurture this pathway of thinking by reading Simple Steps, Real Change daily; meditating or exercising regularly; hiring a life coach or someone to keep you accountable on your new journey. Or simply take steps such as practicing kindness, saying thank you and being grateful.

Our resolutions need to be about deepening our love for ourselves, not about doing what we think we are “supposed” to do.

The mind can sometimes be like an adolescent that is out of control.

Starting a daily habit of sitting quietly to tame the adolescent mind which rules our life can be a way to affect all the other changes we might want to see for ourselves. Many times it is our mind that talks us out of staying resolute. Look to see what is keeping you from truly being the incredible human being you want to be and resolve to work on that issue.

There is no greater journey than the journey to KNOWING your True Self.

DECIDE: “This is the year and the time for me to know myself to the core of my being, and from this point, I invite courage and strength to be my guides.”

Every day we are on the Brink of Revelation. Breathe fully into knowing each day can be your New Year’s Day. Be spacious inside and fly high and free.

What If This Is The Last Time?

by

RD1I feel very fortunate to have my best friend and partner all in one person. It is a gift, yes, but it also means I have to be totally honest with Steve about everything. That’s what you do with best friends – confide – right? You tell your best friend all the annoying things your spouse does. Because Steve is my best friend, I really think about whether or not to mention the few little things he does that get under my skin. They are actually my issues, not his, right?

We had the wonderful opportunity of living with my mom, Dottie, for the last eight years of her life. We moved in with her after a health crisis that the doctors thought was the beginning of the end – saying we would have her for a year or two – but I guess that goes to show what cutting out cigarettes after 60 years and what a new diet of organic foods can do to extend your life. She bounced back and thrived. Although the journey was incredible, and the three of us had a blast together, there were times when I felt myself ready to snap or roll my eyes at her for being overly concerned about what I saw as trivial or her wanting to continue to do something the same way she had for 80 some years, when I knew better.

Most of the time with Steve and my mom, I would stop myself and say, “What if this were the last thing I got to say to them? Would this be what I would want to say?”

I started this habit when I thought I would only have Dottie for a short time. I started saying to myself, “If this were the last time …”It can sound heavy but it wasn’t/isn’t. It just made me stop and think.

We are rarely given the opportunity “to know”when something is for the last time. But when we are given the chance to know – you really pay attention. Your deep awareness takes over, and the trivial does not get a chance to interfere.

Fast forward eight years. Dottie had an episode with her lungs that put her in the hospital overnight. She seemed fine as we left the hospital that evening. The next morning they called to say she was having issues breathing, and they did not think she would pull out of it. In that moment I wondered if this would be the last day. But how could I know? I wished I could know.

As we rushed to the hospital, I felt a shift in my awareness. I told myself to stop the “what ifs”and be in each moment. When I got to her side, she motioned for me to take the oxygen mask off. Looking me in the eyes, she said in a whisper, “This is the day I am going to die.”I must admit that it took my breath away. But knowing Dottie, if anyone could pick their exit day, it would be her. I took a deep breath. I bent down and asked, “Do you know what time?”She shook her head no.

But I got an answer to my question. Yes, this was going to be the last day. It was almost 24 hours later that she took her last breath. But we, along with my brother Dave, stayed with her the entire time. One of us was always holding her hand, singing to her, saying the rosary, telling her how much we loved her. And even in her weakened state, I could hear her say back to us each time, “I Love you too.”

When the grief would well up inside me, I would say, not yet. You still have her. Be here. Open your eyes. Feel her skin, her hair. Be in the moment. As intense as it was, it was also so beautiful and life altering.

So I have been saying it even more. “What if this is the last time?”Again I don’t say it to bring up sadness. It is not about getting lost in the emotion of sadness. It is about bringing my awareness into the moment. It helps me to look into the eyes of the one I am speaking with. It has me look at each student in my yoga class and acknowledge them. It opens me to discernment, so I save my criticism for the things that REALLY matter. There are times when we must speak our truth. But many times our criticism is based on the fact that someone’s actions or words set us off because they are not doing it our way or the way we think they “should.” Anytime we think or say “should,”it is our expectations being reflected on to someone else.

“What if this is the last time …”is my way of bringing myself back to the moment I am in. It brings me into the NOW. My friend Cindy is dealing with aging parents and the natural tendency to start the grieving before anyone has moved on. You find yourself grieving because they are not the “way”they used to be or how you remember. We talked about it when her Mom went through a recent health crisis. We all age if we are fortunate enough to do so. All humans have aging in common. So be with them as they are Now. Don’t mourn how they used to be. That’s useless and just breaks your heart over and over. Acknowledge the natural process of things and open your awareness to the NOW. Be with them here. Maybe you let a few things roll off your back. Maybe you have to take a deep breath and allow them to be their eccentric selves. In the grand scheme of things, what does it matter? If it were the last time, what would you do or say? Pause. Pay attention as if there are no tomorrows. Don’t hope for more time or opportunities or blindly count on it; make use of the ones you have right now. Don’t stop yourself from reaching for their hand. Keep saying I love you even if it is never said back to you. If it is the last time, make sure you lived it true to your heart. Let your heart be free. Be kind. That kindness finds its way back to you.

I learned so much from my Mom. I am still learning. I have great gratitude that she gave me the experience of “knowing it was the last time.”I used that moment, that day, all the time to make my life richer and more meaningful.

It’s funny now how I find myself smiling at the little things about Steve that once bothered me. I open my Awareness, and I have gratitude for having him around. I find myself looking at him to capture every detail as if I might not get another opportunity. Live each day, each moment, as if it’s the only one you’ve got. That’s what is important. Namaste’

 Rob Dorgan

Feedback