I am not a scientist but I am conducting an experiment.
I have been living with a limited sense of myself for most of my life. I am not sure where the deep sense of insecurity and self doubt came from but I am exhausted by it.
Yogic philosophy, Enneagram and Astrology, all tell me that my deep sense of personal growth is contingent on me letting go of my control issues and deep seeded insecurities.
I keep reading about it and playing with the idea but I think its time to do the experiment 100%.
If I let go, really let go, I am told that I will be able to channel the energy of the Universe and I will Know Truth. I will be more relaxed and I will feel a deeper connection with everything- the Universe, with humanity.
Sounds like bliss right? So why am I not doing it? This is a very good question.
One student said to me last night, “I think I am afraid to ask for what I really want because once I start that process there is no going back.”
Right on !!
My friend, teacher and fellow yogi, Sianna Sherman calls it “the magnetic point of radiance”, when we dare to follow our truth, when we dial in, listen deeply, go for it and then surrender. Let go of any clinging to the outcome and just go for it!
Once we move away from the Known to the Unknown or into the area of possibilities, we open up to an energy we may never have experienced. Maybe we feel like we won’t be able to handle it or that we are not worthy.
But you know what? We won’t know until we try.
What stops most of us is not a lack of desire to be free and liberated but rather the anxiety and self doubt that resides in the deepest corners of our being. We all have that nervousness that holds us back.
Isabel Hickey says,
“Nervous tension is the person in the body, giving the body a hard time”
Amen Isabel!!
Sound familiar? The reason it is said that happiness is an inside job, is because we have to give it to ourselves. No matter what our outside circumstances may be—- we have to let go of that inner control of the self with the small “s” and let the S-elf with the BIG “S” teach us to fly.
So the experiment starts today. I am looking for my core values and what it is I truly want to do in my life and I am going to go for it 100%.—- not 90 or 95% but full on.
Join me!
We inspire each other the most when we live our lives and our purpose at 100%.
I will let you know how it goes. Share your experiences with me.
Come on! Let’s go!!
It’s late Monday morning and I’m sitting in the lounge of a dealership waiting on my car which is for regular maintenance. I’m expecting to wait for about an hour and a half, so I brought a few snacks, my laptop and my copy of Thich Nhat Hanh’s, “Essential Writings”. Within the waiting room there are another half dozen others, waiting, like me. There is a television on. I’ve positioned myself away from the TV, actually behind it, so as not to see the screen. It is blaring. I even questioned to myself, why is it so loud? The overhead speakers are playing dated music and on top of all this noise, there is the occasional overriding voice of the receptionist, directing calls to the appropriate extensions. For the short time I am there, the TV programs progress from a rambunctious game show, to local headline news, to one of those over-dramatized soap-operas.
I’ve been doing my best to get out and walk every evening. Jack & I use to do that all that time. We’d walk around our neighborhood, holding hands, and we were the cute couple. It breaks my heart to not have my hand in his. But I keep moving… because I know it’s what I need to do for me.
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