A safe harbor where beliefs are respected and kindness prevails.

Connect with the Spirit of your Inner Child

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Fotolia_5492051_Subscription_LEach of us has an inner child who is longing to come out and play; to laugh, be silly, have fun and enjoy life. Our inner child is the curious, fun-loving part of our personality that seeks spontaneity and adventure. It wants to explore all that life has to offer with an open mind and heart. It knows how to have fun for the sake of having fun. Our inner child unapologetically embraces who we are, perceived flaws and all. When you connect with the spirit of your inner child healing takes place, leaving more room for joy, peace, and fun in your life.

One of the best ways to connect with your inner child is to do the things you are passionate about. So often the things we care about the most get pushed aside as we get swept up in our daily to-do lists packed with things we feel we have to do, instead of want to do. Become very clear about what matters most to you and make an effort to have your daily activities be a reflection of these things. Start taking note of the activities and people who put a smile on your face and fill your heart with joy. Notice the times when you are feeling at your best; what are you thinking? What are you doing? Who are the people around you?

To truly make your inner child smile it can be helpful to reflect on the things you enjoyed doing during childhood. What were your favorite activities? Did you have an imaginary friend? What toys did you like to play with? What games were you drawn toward? It can also be helpful to reflect on your childhood dreams. Did you envision yourself as an artist creating breathtaking paintings for the world to see? Did you imagine yourself as a teacher sharing your knowledge and wisdom with others? Childhood dreams may be expressed differently today but there are still ways to honor them. For instance, if you wanted to be a singer you could join a choir or go to karaoke. If you had dreams of becoming an actress you could take an acting class, or try out for a local play. Looking over childhood pictures can help trigger memories of things you enjoyed doing. Thinking back to these earlier years can provide insight into things you may still enjoy today but have not made time for.

So what stops us from letting our inner child play? Often we feel we need to hold ourselves back. We remain composed, serious, and ‘adult-like.’ Or we get so weighed down in the demands of daily life that there seems to be no room for fun. It is true that we have daily responsibilities and at times we need to step into our adult shoes, but it does not mean that we need to leave our inner child behind. Allowing our childlike spirit to shine through makes us more open-minded, joyful, creative, and productive. It can even make our daily routine seem more interesting. Through the eyes of a child everything is a new, exciting adventure, full of possibilities. Every situation is made more enjoyable with a little imagination.

When you allow your inner child to shine through you will see the world with new eyes; eyes of love, positivity, and joy. Give your inner child the love and approval that it is longing for by making sure your self-talk is supportive and encouraging, honoring the unique, beautiful person that you are. Don’t take yourself so seriously. Be silly, laugh, and have fun. Let the spirit of your inner child shine through in all that you do and your daily life will be transformed in many magical, fun ways.

30,000 Feet of Perspective

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Fotolia_29594769_Subscription_XLIt had been a lovely Mother’s Day.  The May weather was gorgeous sunny and yet still cool enough to enjoy.  A promising reminder that Spring is finally here.  I had enjoyed church with my family and then a delicious brunch buffet in our small rural Iowa town.  The only problem was it was too short. I had to excuse myself from brunch early to catch a flight.  On the long drive to the airport I was muttering under my breath about what a royal jerk that man is to schedule our conference that we were literally required to fly in the Sunday night of Mother’s Day.  Who does that?  Doesn’t he have a mother?  I was upset for me and my boys to have the special day cut short and to give up special Sunday time for my job.

To top it all off it was a stormy night predicted.  I am not a huge fan of flying. The flight from Chicago to DC started off smoothly, but as we drew closer to DC the lightning started and the wind began throwing the small plane around.  We experienced quite a few ‘joy stick’ drops where it feels like the pilot jerked the control stick down sharply on purpose as we fall what must be thousands of feet through an air pocket. To this day it is still probably the scariest flight I have ever been on.  As the weather intensifies every person around me seems to have a different reaction. Some seem attempting to ignore it, a few people appear to be reading although I can’t imagine how with all those bumps.  A mom holding her child on her lap, an attempt to soothe herself it appears as much as to calm the little boy.

From directly behind me I start to hear sobbing out loud from a woman.  She is sobbing loudly and reciting the Our Father prayer at the same time.  Just over and over, sobbing and repeating the prayer.  Well, I guess maybe I should be more scared than I am at this point! This is visibly upsetting to those around us that can hear her fear shared right out loud.  I silently wish she would stop that.  It is certainly not helping the situation. It is adding to the atmosphere of fear, making it all seem more surreal and as if something bad really is about to happen.  As I feel my own tension rise wondering if it is worse than I think, the large air drops continue as the weather throws us around. As I wonder if we might not make it I hear something quite unexpected break the thick tension.

“Wheee!!!!!  Whooo Hoooo!!!!!   Wheeee!!!!! Do it again!!!!” from a little girl voice.

This is followed by her mom saying “Sush….be quiet darling, people are uneasy honey.”

“Wheee!!!!!  Whooo Hoooo!!!!!   Wheeee!!!!! Do it again!!!! she repeats, doing as little girls will do, ignoring their parents.

I can’t help myself but laugh right straight out loud.

How beautiful a lesson here before us.  We’ve got one woman trying to pray her way out of a certain early death and one row over in the same exact set of circumstances is a child showing complete and utter joy that she literally cannot bear to contain.  She is enjoying the thrilling ride of her life that she doesn’t want to ever stop. Two different people. Same exact circumstances. What a perfect example of how much your perspective matters. Yes, the little girl is absent of the wise adult knowledge of knowing how bad the result could be. But what good does that knowledge do us if we use for negativity? Both the woman and the little girl are going to have contact with other people once they exit the plane. Which one will spread joy and bring smiles? Which one will bring dread and fear?  Both are affecting others on the plane right now in two very opposite ways.

Makes me think about my own perspective. Am I a woman who had her Mother’s Day unfairly cut short or am I simply a very blessed woman to have the opportunity to even be a mother and spend time with those I love most? Am I a woman robbed of my Sunday by some crappy job requirement, or am I a woman proud and happy of my career that has blessed me and my family with many opportunities? Am I going to spread negativity or joy?

What is your perspective doing to you and those around you?  If you are experiencing negativity and blaming your circumstances take another look. Is the filter you are viewing through flawed? How could you look at the situation differently to use it to bring more grace and love to yourself and others?

We can complain because rose bushes have thorns, or rejoice because thorn bushes have roses.  ~Abraham Lincoln

 

 

 

I Choose Happiness

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RobdorganIn 2011 my partner and I left our jobs of 12 years to start a new life adventure. We both worked for the same manufacturing company and it was time to either buy the company or move on to something new. Before we took the positions we had seriously considered going to massage school. We had even shopped around and decided on a holistic school in New Mexico. We originally took the jobs at our friend’s business thinking that we would stay long enough to make the tuition with a little cushion. But as we like to say, “Life Happened.” The jobs were challenging and rewarding. Then we took care of aging parents. Before we knew it we were there for 12 years.

So facing 50 and beyond we felt it was time to try something new and follow our hearts to be of service in the holistic arts. Wow! I had no idea how comfortable I had become with a steady pay check and security as I saw it. As the time came for our amicable departure, I started to freak out. I became disoriented and very unsure about what we were doing and questioning whether or not I could do the next step— school.

I had this low grade fear that just hung on me like a ball and chain. My mind was constantly thinking about it no matter what I was doing. Interesting to me and my partner, was the fact that I had always been the one pushing us to do something different, take chances and jump head first, but now, I was immobilized. I was not able to access happy at all in my life because I was living in Fear with a capital F.

We kept with the plan and moved from our Kentucky home to New Mexico to study massage and natural therapeutics. I had something to focus on which was a great relief. The school experience was fantastic. We had never been in school together. We excelled not only in the program but with each other. We bonded even more deeply in our personal relationship. We saw new dimensions of each other that just opened our hearts up wide.

It really seemed like I had turned a corner. I was “my self” in New Mexico. Ten months later, with degree in-hand, we returned home. The cloud descended thicker and heavier than ever and the fear returned. Sure, we had new skills but no clients and very little money coming in. I felt like a negativity sponge. There was no silver lining in anything. For the first time in my life I seriously considered antidepressants. I was not happy. Nor did I see myself being happy in the near future.

Two days before Christmas and one week before our vacation to Key West in 2012 I jumped for a pull up bar at the gym. I was still recovering from the flu and had ignored my intuitive voice that morning that told me to skip the trainer and let myself heal. I jumped. I missed with the left arm and did not let go fast enough with the right arm. POP! I pulled the bicep tendon right off the bone. I knew it was something major. My right arm looked very different from the left – not to mention the discomfort and the very concerned look on my trainers face. It was at that very moment I heard a voice inside my head say, “you have to change this course you’re on.” I knew exactly what the voice meant. I had a choice. I knew I was pulling negativity to me. I saw only dark so I was manifesting dark.

In the 24 hours between seeing my doctor and the surgeon. I observed a tug of war in my mind and body between deciding to be happy or unhappy. I cried a lot that day. I was scared of where I was headed. I realized that I wanted so badly to be happy. I missed loving life. I felt that this was a cross-road. I got on the internet, with the help of my good arm and pulled up every positive thinking, inspirational website I could find. I started reading books that encouraged me. Within hours I felt a shift. There was still a struggle inside me between the martyr and the part of me that wanted to be truly happy. But at least I felt two sides instead of just the bleak dark cloud I had lived in for two years.

I opened myself up to possibilities. I found a juicing site where the guy was talking about what vegetables to juice for a quicker recovery. So we bought a juicer and tons of vegetables. The first surgeon I saw was not a specialist with my injury but he got his colleague to see me that very day. He was exactly who I needed. I not only wanted my bicep fixed I wanted to be 100% so I could get my massage business off the ground, keep up with my yoga practice and still work out.

I told my friends that I needed help. I needed them to be up and positive and to spoon feed me the same. I had to cut a few people out of my life. I was honest. I did not have the time or energy to deal with the power of being unhappy. You know who I am talking about— the people you have around that no matter what is going on they are just miserable. I felt for them because I had been there. But I wasn’t strong enough at that point to help anyone. I needed to help myself first and foremost.

My life for those two years had been a perfect storm for bringing on unhappiness. Major life changes have us face our selves and our fears. My wake up call was a physical injury that put my new life as a massage therapist, yoga teacher and personal trainer on hold for more than three months. But I started to look at it as an opportunity to learn other things. I took my meditation practice to a completely different level. I had always made excuses for not meditating longer because of time. Now time was all that I had. Meditation helped me take a deeper journey of self discovery. How had I become so unhappy in the first place? What were the fears that were holding me back? How did I lose the sense of who I am and what I am capable of doing?

My journey to choosing happiness had me turn off the TV, abstain from almost all media and surround myself with everything that encouraged me to live and grow stronger in body, mind and spirit. There is no vaccine against negativity but a prescription of love, goodness and a strong dose of living in the “Happy” can turn your life around. Our lives are how we perceive them. Our perception is influenced by what we take into us. So breathe deep and take in all the goodness you can find. Limit your intake of negativity. Strengthen your relationship with yourself by deepening the love you have for YOU. The people in your life will benefit from it too because the happier you are and the more you love you—— the more love you have to share. Believe it! You can do it too. Namaste.

Rob Dorgan

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