I’ve been doing my best to get out and walk every evening. Jack & I use to do that all that time. We’d walk around our neighborhood, holding hands, and we were the cute couple. It breaks my heart to not have my hand in his. But I keep moving… because I know it’s what I need to do for me.
When you find yourself without what use to be your life it really is more than anyone should have to bear. I don’t care if it’s a spouse, a child or a career. When something means so much to you that it hurts to be without it it’s hard to even think about going on… but we do.
Last week I saw a friend for the first time since Jack died. He looked at me and commented about all of the stress being gone from my face. And it is in that I am not longer on an endless heighten alert for fear Jack would fall or not be able to keep his food down. Gone is the stress about what would happen to me without him. It’s painful to be without him but I’m still able to function and care for myself. Because that’s what I do.
Grief and the pain of major life challenges are somethings we all will go through whether we want to or not. And some events are more horrific than others but… as they say… this is life.
You may not have experienced any of this yet.. but when you do I hope you’ll remember this. You will get through it… and yes it will tear at your soul and break your heart… but you will heal. It takes time. And you’re still living so you have that on your side. Allow it all to be as it is then allow yourself to find peace. Because you will.
With love, Cheryl