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Falling Forward Into Your Desired Health

September 15, 2014 by Dave Fresilli

Fotolia_54489997_Subscription_Monthly_MWhen we analyze how humans walk, jog, and run, we can determine that these actions are a “controlled fall forward.” It is a scientific truth that in order to move forward, we must lean our weight to the front of our center of gravity. This causes our upper body to tip forward, or to “fall forward.” We then take a step to catch ourselves while we continue this forward fall. In order to stop the fall, we must continually adjust our bodies over our center of gravity.

I love using metaphors such as this because it allows me to combine the idea of locomotion with other actions that will allow you to reach a goal.

We look at the idea of walking, jogging and running as a controlled fall forward. So, naturally, when we decide to move forward in other aspects of life, we also must move forward toward a specific goal.

Standing still could be seen as a stagnant state of consciousness. Standing is a place of known events. When we are standing, we feel safe.

This state could be compared to where you are in your life right now. There is little that is unknown, or new, in your everyday life, and this makes you feel comfortable. Even though there could be a lot going on in your life that you’re not happy about, at least you know what to expect.

What if, while you were standing in that one comfortable place, you decided that you desire more! You might wish for a better body, or better health overall. Maybe you desire more wealth, a better career or anything that you know would bring you more happiness. The choices are endless.

There is an old saying, “You can’t get there from here.” There has to be forward motion if you are ever going to achieve that “more” state.

What do you have to do in order to obtain more in life? You have to fall forward and create some momentum until you are running toward it. In fact, I would say this is true for just about anything you desire in your life that is really big and different from where you are now.

Think about it. You will have to lean forward beyond your center of gravity, which means metaphorically you have to purposely take yourself out of balance and all that you currently understand and fall into the unknown in front of you.

That can be scary! Imagine what an infant looks like just as he/she is learning to walk. The infant sort of resembles a drunken sailor, right? The infant leans forward and tilts back, until finding his/her center of gravity. All the while the brave little baby takes those unknown steps forward that will eventually propel him/her across the room. The baby might be unsure and fall on his/her butt many times in the process.

But does this infant ever believe there is no point to his/her actions? Does the baby give up, and say “Oh why bother?” Of course not.

Any baby will continue to try until it becomes skilled enough to achieve the goal of walking. And this is a human at its youngest and most vulnerable stage of life!

We are no different than an infant learning to walk. We must understand this in order to grow. There will be uncomfortable moments, but those uncomfortable moments must be understood as part of the growing process. They should be expected as part of achieving any new goal that is big, bold and, yes … scary.

My mentor Bob Proctor says goals should be so big they scare you! If they don’t, then it is not big enough. A goal that doesn’t scare you is never going to stretch you, or force you to grow.

If you are not growing out of who you are right now, then you will stay exactly where you are. This means you will never become the person you truly desire to be.

We all know of folks who have achieved great things, who seem genuinely happy and excited about the challenges life offers. These people are consistently doing well, but do you ever wonder how they got there?

To use our metaphor, they set a big scary goal, something they really wanted, and they fell forward.

What is it you desire to fall forward into?

Do you finally want to have the body you have always dreamed of? Then fall forward!

Do you want, once and for all, to heal yourself of health issues that plague you? Then fall forward!

Do you want to create a life so amazing you are scared to even think about it? Then fall forward!

Open your heart and mind and begin to believe in yourself and your innate abilities that allow you to create what you desire.

Stop standing still, and fall forward.

I am here to help you on this journey.

I wish for you Vibrant Health!

The Universe Was Late Today

September 15, 2014 by Teri Williams

Fotolia_63703584_Subscription_Monthly_MEvery week day morning I receive this really cool personalized email from The Universe – a.k.a. Mike Dooley’s Notes from the Universe (TUT.com). Literally thousands of people around the world get the same email personalized for them, of course.

The first time I received one was over four years ago. Unbeknownst to me one of my friends added my email address to the TUT list. When I opened that first one, I was just a little freaked out. (Am I the only one that still says freaked out?) Seriously, I thought I had a stalker because that first message was so completely in tune with what was happening in my life. I had to stop what I was doing and show my husband, who also thought I had a stalker. It took three days of receiving those personalized emails before I realized it was an inspirational daily message.

Fast forward to today and it’s still one of the highlights of my email experience. In fact some days it’s the only email I will open because the message is so empowering; some days it’s exactly what I needed to move me from down to up or from ok to awesome

Today – The Universe was late! Yes, that special personalized email was not in my email box when I opened it.

At first I felt a bit disappointed, once again sharing a TUT experience with my husband, hoping that they didn’t stop the weekday posts. (I wish they would post every day, not just Monday through Friday.) Then I thought to myself, “Now what?”

Yes, even I, The Bliss Lady, can get into a funk. Don’t we all? It’s part of the human experience. Over the years I have learned to keep those funks contained to moments instead of hours, days or weeks.   I have an array of resources at my disposal for lifting my mood. In fact, I surround myself with objects and people who inspire, uplift and motivate me. It’s essential to my overall wellbeing.

So what do I do when the Universe is late? You may find me resorting to anyone of these for a boost:

BlissnessPlan.com (of course)
SimpleStepsRealChangeMagazine.com (of course)
Empoweradio.com (of course)
DailyOm.com
Ted.com
ZenHabits.com
HealYourLife.com
SethGodin.com
Chopra.com
TinyBuddha.com
MindBodyGreen.com

These are just a handful of places I visit on the web for inspiration. Mainly, I start my day with a gratitude blessing, radiating love and light to every being in the Cosmo’s past, present and future. It’s the simple things that turn my downs to ups.

When that Note was late I read an old one. Here’s one of my favorites – can you guess why?

Teri, no matter what your faith is, or is not, no matter where in the world you are, I want you to know, even as you read these words, I’m with you. Behind the eyes of every child, and in the melody of every song. I’m the glimmer in the ice crystals, the rays in the sun, and the stars at night. And with each smile you see, every hug you receive and every laugh you hear, I’ll be there, reaching out through another, with blessing and good wishes…… And all of this because I love you, because I’ve always loved you, and because I always will. And because this has been true, and will be true, every day of your life, holidays or not.

Tally-ho, ho, ho –

   The Universe

P.S.

Happy everything to you Teri, to your family, and to every single wonderful, radiant Being in your shimmering, enlightened sphere.

What do you do when your life cycles downward? Share a few Blissings, I hope!

For additional resources or to work with Teri visit SoulcialLiving.com or TeriGriffinWilliams.com.

Face Your Fears

September 15, 2014 by Shann VanderLeek

And Claim Your True Calling

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“Creating your life on your own terms is really about allowing for grace through your next transition.”

I woke up in a dreadful fury. The red light on the alarm clock glared at me: 5:30 a.m. A few more minutes of sleep was all I wanted – anything to put off going back to another useless morning meeting.

Does this sound like your average day? It used to be mine.

For many years, I had enjoyed my job, but now it felt more like a prison sentence, and I knew I had to find a way to escape. I decided that I deserved to follow my creative calling. It was time to get real, face my fears, develop a career transition plan, and become the mistress of my own destiny.

I was unconsciously bumping around from one role to the next, one task to the next, seemingly dead inside. It made me ask myself: how had I become numb and cut off from a world filled with abundance and wonder?

What does going through the motions look like? Sometimes it’s hard to recognize when you’re just “bumping around” while you’re still bumping around. You may feel confused, fearful, angry, and scattered. You may distrust your own decisions and feel more worried or anxious than normal. The pain of an uninspired work life lends itself to a reactionary autopilot protection program that only makes things worse. Living on perpetual autopilot does not serve anybody well.

One big red flag for change is that you’ve been putting your life on hold. Are you waiting for your tenth anniversary watch/clock/golf clubs before moving on? Are you putting off having children or taking a life-changing adventure vacation because you “can’t afford” to be away from your desk? If so, ask yourself what you’re really waiting for.

I remember precisely when I realized I was ready to let go of everything and pursue my calling. I was in a meeting with my peers and our newly-appointed general manager. The true purpose of the meeting was lost as a discussion about the future of our sales force suddenly took a nose dive, becoming a mosh pit of ruthless judgments. The experience was awful. I lost my cool while being interrogated by someone with absolutely zero knowledge of sales management and even less compassion for our tenured sales staff. I was trapped in the no-win game of arrogance and corporate garbage, and I experienced a complete emotional meltdown.

At that moment I completely shut down; I looked out the conference room window. Blazing across the sky was an intense, perfect rainbow. I was the only person in the room with this spectacular view, and in that instant, I knew I had to get out of the company to save my soul.

Another sure sign of impending change is the feeling that you must make a difference in the world. The paycheck and the benefits are no longer enough. For me, a major turning point was the realization that selling television commercials does absolutely nothing meaningful for the world. Advertisers spend stacks of cash to promote products like Viagra and Lipitor so the general public can get an erection and eat more cheeseburgers.

Wow!

This wasn’t an easy truth to swallow: I had invested much of my life in the television advertising business, and I loved the game – until I didn’t anymore.

Hey, people change.

In fact, we are all changing every day: evolving, growing, and learning; researching, soul searching, and witnessing our lives. But these are small changes, accomplished over time. If you want to make a big change, begin by focusing on your current scenario. Where are you right now in relation to where you want to be? When your life is more miserable than happy because you no longer fit into the confines of your career, it’s time to a) get a new job, or b) become an entrepreneur.

My internal transition lasted for almost one year. Before I was ready to move forward, I had to have several deep and lengthy conversations with my husband, move around investments, secure a line of credit, negotiate a healthy severance package, and buy a new car. Admittedly, this part of the planning process was uncomfortable for a fly-by-the-seat-of-your-pants woman who’d never thought about money, but I’m glad I went through it. Once those things were out of the way, it freed me up to flesh out the other aspects of my business plan. It’s difficult to dream big if you’re worried about where the groceries are going to come from next week!

In the beginning, my inner critic would berate me with statements like: “How could you walk away from eighteen years of sales and leadership success to do this? Reinventing yourself is a waste of time.” When I heard that voice I would do my best to think, “Nonsense! Cancel! Clear!”

Fear is the biggest saboteur of your auspicious goal to reinvent yourself. Fear can take hold of you and cling like an evil shadow until you decide to take action. The voices in your head that mutter things like, “I can’t,” “I’m afraid,” “I’ll let somebody down,” “I’m not good enough,” or “Don’t quit your day job!” represent pesky negative programming that must be undone. If you don’t address it, you will continue to play on a fear-breeding mental merry-go-round.

When undertaking my own transition, my biggest fear was losing everything I’d created over a lifetime serving the television industry. I had power, money, an exquisite lifestyle and lots of material wealth. How could I chuck the stability to follow my dream? I struggled with severe self-doubt. Was I a fraud? Could I really go it alone?

After thoughtful consideration and soulful conversations with loved ones, moving toward my dreams became my ONLY option. Transformational coaching, writing, voice work and yoga have become the stones that pave my way. Learning to honor my natural rhythm, explore new interests, and inspire others is hugely rewarding.

The process of uncovering your calling and learning to trust in yourself, your passion, and the Universe is like riding a wave of pure, unbridled joy. When the wave crests, you’re suddenly on top of the world – but you might also find a wash of peacefulness tugging at the corner of your lips, the promise of a smile.

Do you have the courage to face your fears and surrender to your true calling?

Begin With Yes Workplace

September 15, 2014 by Place Holder

LIFE CYCLES

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Age and youth – how do you make the best of both in a workplace?

One of my former employees was a young man in his mid 20s. His view of the world, like many others of his generation, was electronically connected, comic book illustrated, fast-moving, impulsive and not very nuanced. Many of his qualities could be, and sometimes were, irritating to me. A “Begin with Yes” style would support that these seemingly negative qualities were not what I needed to be focused on.

So instead, I shifted my focus to his high energy, creative mind, and his ability to see the world differently than I do. Because I was able to make this shift, we learned to not only work well together, but our many differences began to compliment each other. Together we often ended up with a better outcome than either of us would have alone.   I think we both learned a thing or two, and we and our companies were better off.

As always, the “Begin with Yes” approach asks you to shift your focus from what are the down sides of all the generational differences at work (or anywhere else for that matter), and focus on the up sides.

So a good place to start is by recognizing the beauty in both age and youth! A “Begin with Yes” person is more inclined to be “turned on” or excited by the diversity in a multi-generational workforce, celebrating the differences rather than trying to “make everyone the same.” Obviously a good place to start is understanding what these “typical” differences are, accepting that they really are real and then looking for the opportunities that these different styles present. When a leader within the organization understands, acknowledges and respects the diversity, most employees will follow suit. Those that don’t will decide to move on or may be asked to do so.

With people staying in the workforce longer, how do you welcome the “experience” while at the same time making room for “newbies” and their new ideas and work styles?

The answer to this one begins at the top. Management must have a desire that borders on a passion to embrace diversity. If leadership understands and appreciates diversity, the company is well positioned to be on the cutting edge. Most Fortune 500 companies have jumped into this arena enthusiastically, and there’s no reason for any company not to follow suit.

Assuming that diversity is embraced, the next step is really figuring out how to translate a passion and belief into action. In the case mentioned above, a starting place is realizing that there really are many age-related differences between older workers and those just entering the workforce.

Some of these differences are (or can be) amusing to explore, but funny or not, they are real, and they need to be understood and respected. In-house training is a great place to start. Get a knowledgeable speaker (they’re easy to find) to explain the work style differences between various age groups. Both the seasoned workers and the newer employees need to understand and respect the work style differences that exist. You can’t always make people get along or work well together, but you can provide employee education in an honest and accepting way that sends the message we need and value you all.

I have been CEO of my organization for 20 years, and it’s time for me to move on.  What is the best way for me to make my announcement? 

I am not sure there’s a right way, but there are a few things that come to mind. First, be sure that you’re really ready to move on. Talking about it before you’re sure can create unnecessary workplace drama, and if you change your mind, it can be difficult to regain the momentum. If you’re not sure, talk it through with family or close friends and save any announcement until after you’re sure. Once you’re certain, plan to talk to your direct reports and Board leadership and then release a pre-developed internal announcement for staff and, if appropriate, an external announcement as well. Just be sure to notify internal staff first as you certainly do not want them to hear about it from someone outside the organization first. This is an important milestone, and leaving with a positive attitude, regard for the people you’ll be leaving behind and a hopeful message for everyone would be ideal.

My boss and I have become great friends.  Is it okay to invite her to parties at my house or is that inappropriate?  Where is the line between personal and professional?

Unfortunately, I don’t have an easy, black and white answer for you. Friendships at work are common and can be wonderful; however, every once in a while, they end up being a disaster and fraught with problems. Pay attention and stay alert. If you feel problems developing, confront them head on and be clear about your concerns. Ultimately, the best advice I can offer is to listen to and trust your intuition.

I’m currently shifting careers towards a more traditional white-collar job after working at a very unconventional business (security at a dance club). During the course of working at my old position, I got several piercings and tattoos, which were perfectly acceptable for a club that caters to a very open-minded clientele. However, I’m very nervous that I won’t be taken seriously in my new buttoned-up atmosphere. How do I maintain my individuality while also recognizing that there’s a different standard in a suit and tie world?

This is a question that many people have faced and successfully navigated. Although the workplace continues to evolve, becoming more flexible, the concept of “dressing the part” is still important and very much expected by most employers and customers, too.

I’m sure you’ve already discovered that you can often temporarily remove piercings and cover extreme tattoos up with the right clothing choices. I am wondering how you dealt with the piercings and tattoos during the interview. How you prepared for the interview will give you an idea of how to show up at work.

Perhaps thinking about this from the customer’s standpoint will help you sort out your feelings and create an action plan. Most of us expect people who prepare our food to wear clean clothes and have hair styles that will keep their hair away from our sandwiches. We want our doctors to look like doctors and our nurses to look like nurses. Your “look” in your previous job made a lot of sense, and a more conservative look in a more traditional white-collar environment makes sense, too. Being you is important, and being accepted and effective in the workplace is as well!

I’m going through a very nasty divorce.  While I’ve been trying to keep it out of the workplace, absences related to court appearances and other things have been raising questions among my colleagues and supervisors.  How much information about my personal life do I have to share?

Going through a personal challenge and staying on top of things at work can be incredibly difficult.

How much you disclose is entirely up to you. If you decide to share a little, simply say you’re dealing with some personal issues and trying not to bring them to the office. If you want to be more specific, that’s perfectly ok, and telling a close workmate or two will get the word out without you having to talk about it yourself.

When we’re in the middle of a crisis, we have a tendency to think everyone is thinking about us and our problems. Fortunately this is almost never true! Trust me, every single person you work with is either going through something themselves, has just gotten over something, or will be going through something soon.

Also, remind yourself that it may actually help you get through this personal setback by staying focused on your work. Another strategy you might try is making a short list of other things that you can and do want to talk about with friends. That way you’ll be prepared with something else to talk about, which will help you feel that you’re still part of the office team.

Many of my friends are career women.  After having been one myself, I’ve made the decision to be a stay-at-home Mom.  The reaction from my friends has been very negative – that I’m throwing away my life and all I’ve worked to achieve.  How can I get them to respect my decision?

You’d think by now we’d all be doing much better with that old Sly Stone song, “Different Strokes for Different Folks.” I’m not sure why your friends are giving you a hard time. Maybe they’re jealous, judgmental or just good people looking out for what they perceive to be in your best interest. But if they’re really getting to you, why not remind them that you’re all grown up and now making decisions about what’s best for you, all by yourself.

And for what it’s worth, here’s what I think. Staying home to be a mother, and more and more often now a father, is a personal decision and a tough one to make, and if that’s what you want, it’s most likely the ideal decision for everyone involved. I figure if you have children, you either pay someone else to take care of them while you work or you stay home and take care of them yourself. And no matter how rewarding either choice might be, they’re both, when done right, a lot of hard work and worthy of respect!

And I should also mention as a maturing CEO (that’s code for older), I’ve seen a lot of folks reenter the work force after the kids have left the nest. And often these folks are more ambitious, less burnt out, more mature, highly-qualified, very promotable and sometimes indispensable.

Bottom line, tell your friends to lighten up, and enjoy the kids!

FALLING FORWARD

Succession planning – what does it entail, and more importantly, how can I encourage employees to take on increasing responsibility?

The best way to encourage growth is to set an example and create a pathway that motivated employees can follow. Also, keep your eyes open for those employees who seek out and get new experiences. There are always a few high-energy people in most businesses, and when you find them, make it easy for them to keep moving, and notice and comment on their positive contributions.

When it comes to succession planning, I am not a big believer. Too many times this encourages supervisors to force-fit people into situations that don’t really fit. Personally, I wouldn’t put a lot of energy into succession planning. Instead, create a workplace that’s exciting, dynamic and fun, and you’ll see that exciting, dynamic and fun people will be attracted to your workforce. Then, when you have an opening, you may have the right person in-house, and if you don’t, attracting the right person to join your amazing company will be easy.

My co-worker and I are both single and share a lot of the same interests. Our relationship is becoming more than platonic. While not specifically prohibited by my company’s policies, is dating in the workplace okay?

I sure hope so because that’s where most of us are meeting people with whom we’re interested in dating or being friends. Having said that, let me also state another obvious: supervising a friend of any sort is a challenge, and often next to impossible.

As relationships begin and evolve in the workplace, everyone needs to pay attention and recognize and deal with the complexities that might present themselves.

In my opinion, the biggest simple practice to avoid is secrecy. If it’s against company policy, then a transition to another company (unless you can change policy) is the logical answer.

If relationships are accepted, being up front and visible about what is going on is wise. Begin with Yes . . . “Yes, we are in a relationship.” The transparency eliminates the gossip and intrigue and lets everyone involved help create office practices that can more easily accommodate the relationship.

I know the importance of social networking, but my company says “no” to going on Facebook and such during the work day.  How can I get my boss to see that I’m promoting the company, just in a different way?

First of all, let’s be honest – Facebook and Twitter and other social network sites are fun and a huge energy drain. It’s not a surprise that companies are concerned about employees visiting such sites because it can interfere with getting the job done. But if you’re sincere about wanting to use social media to promote and advance your company, here’s what I suggest: Develop a brief proposal explaining how social media can help your company and give specific suggestions and examples about how other companies are using social media effectively. Then map out a plan for what you’d like to do. Your proposal should be detailed with specific goals, outcomes and time estimates.

My guess is that you and your supervisor will learn a few things about social media. She’ll be impressed with your initiative and will gladly help create a path for you and your company to venture into this brave world of communication.

What do you do if you are assigned a task for which you feel completely ill prepared and know nothing about?

Be honest. Would you rather accept the assignment and do a poor job that might harm your company (or yourself), or would you rather red flag the fact that you don’t possess the knowledge base to take on this particular job? A third, more acceptable, option would be to state that while you don’t feel ready to accept the assignment, you would be happy to conduct the research and seek out whatever professional development training is necessary to learn the skills necessary to accept the task. This demonstrates initiative, shows that you are dedicated to improving and also allows your company to develop a backup plan until you are ready.
 

My team is nervous about upcoming 360 evaluations and scared about how they will be used. How do I get them to say “yes” and embrace the results?

Wouldn’t you be nervous? Recognize that their fear –and I’m sure yours as well – comes from a valid place.

360 evaluations provide competence-related information and performance-appraisal data collected from all around an employee – from his or her peers, subordinates and supervisors. They are comprehensive, extremely helpful and give employees a clearer understanding of how the rest of the world views them. They can also be pretty scary. What makes them scary is that we don’t know how they will be used and we’re afraid that we will be judged rather than given the opportunity to grow.

In my experience, 360s work best when they’re done to help an employee get a better, more complete or well-rounded sense for how they’re perceived in the workplace. And just as important, the employee then gets a chance to work with someone competent and neutral who can help them build on strengths and compensate for weaknesses. Let’s face it, we all have a blind spot or two, and we could all use a little coaching!

If you’re looking for an evaluation tool, I don’t think this is the way to go. If on the other hand you want to give your team a way to grow through increased personal insight, then 360s can be a powerful and helpful resource.

 Be clear about the rules. Give people the option to keep the information private between them and the coach. And how about doing a review yourself? The team will grow, everyone will learn something helpful and the anxiety should moderate.

How can I cut costs during a market downturn without conducting layoffs?

First of all, you’re dealing with a very real issue faced by just about every company in the world right now. Second of all, I commend you for working hard to save jobs and protect your employees.

The more that we focus on saving our workforce, the sooner we’ll all be able to collectively turn our economy in a more positive direction.

How to cut costs is a very company-specific question, and involves getting your workforce involved in identifying areas where costs can be cut. At the same time, and perhaps even more importantly, I would get people focused on ways to enhance revenue. In my experience, there are almost always more opportunities to increase revenue than opportunities to cut expenses. Getting your employees involved in creatively seeking new dollars can actually be fun and engaging, and it gives people a chance to help keep the company solvent and employees working.

We have always given fairly significant bonuses to our staff.  This year for the first time we cannot afford to do any bonuses.  I’m really worried about the impact on the workforce given that they are expecting them.  What is the best way to communicate this bad news?

Your company is not alone. Almost every industry has been affected by the economy and many companies have not been in a position to give raises or bonuses for the past few years. This is difficult for employees to understand, and even when they understand it, they are almost certainly wishing things were better with salaries and wages.

The best way to communicate any news is direct, honest, calm and timely. Most employees will be disappointed, but they will appreciate knowing what to expect, and your credibility as a leader will be strengthened. Be as transparent as you possibly can be, and also accept the reality that no matter how hard you try, you won’t be able to eliminate employee disappointment.

I work in an organization where trust is critical.  I made a mistake and told what I considered to be a “white lie” and now my credibility has been damaged.  How do I get people to understand that, “Yes, I can be trusted again?”

Was it a white lie like, “Your butt doesn’t look big in those jeans,” or a white lie like, “I did the report all by myself,” when in fact a co-worker did most of the work? A lot depends on the white lie, how and who it impacted, and how “white” it actually was! That said, real trust is earned over time. So be trustworthy, and over time your reputation will repair itself. If you feel talking directly to the parties involved, and even apologizing would help, it might speed up the repair work. And above all else, be glad you’ve learned the importance of trust, and carry its lesson with you in your future personal and professional worlds.

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