A safe harbor where beliefs are respected and kindness prevails.

Want to Create a Sacred Life?

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Fotolia_39762806_Subscription_Monthly_M“I experience my life as a sacred ritual,” she said.  A quiet, matter of fact response to the question, ‘What is your favorite sacred feminine ritual?’ This profound statement was made by my friend Carol. At 75 years old, she is the elder/grandmother of our wise women’s circle and one of the most graceful women I’ve ever met. I’m grateful I asked the question.

I love the idea of choreographing my life in a beauty way. Contemplating what I want my sacred life to look and feel like has been top of mind since hearing Carol claim her life with complete clarity.

The first step was to allow my curiosity to unfold. I had to go within and sit with the question; how do I want to define my sacred life? Here is what came up for me.

My sacred life will overflow with:

  • loving kindness and compassionate self-care
  • creative expression
  • spaciousness
  • connection and community service
  • infinite gratitude

The second step was to drill down and define what each of these areas represent.

Loving Kindness + Compassionate Self-care

I practice loving kindness with my family, friends and community. This way of being includes nonviolent communication, generosity, mindfulness and staying present. Learning to be gentle with my Self has become a treasured daily practice. Pace yourself and breathe deeply. Learn to recognize old patterns and quiet shaming inner critics. Compassionate self-care is generous and loving way to honor your mind, body and soul.

Creative Expression

I love photography, music, writing, painting, cooking, and making my personal space inviting and beautiful. Our environment, personal style and creative endeavors contribute to a sacred life. Explore what you want to create and how you wish to express yourself. Discover what brings you the most joy. Learn to flaunt the sweet spots of your creativity.

Spaciousness

As an introvert, I sometimes experience anxiety before making a speech or attending large social gatherings. After speaking engagements, I need a full day of down time to recover from all of the energy I give away. Introverts prefer intimate friendships and time with small groups of people, on occasion. We need a lot of space in between engagements. My extroverted friends don’t require as much spaciousness in their lives because they thrive in crowds and enjoy the hustle of a busy social scene. Introverts, not so much. Have you identified if you are introvert or extrovert? Do you need to consciously create more spaciousness in your life?

Gratitude

The more thankful I am about my present reality, the more prosperity and abundance flow into my life. When I’m needy, constricted or feeling depleted, it seems as if everything comes to a halt. On the days you experience self-doubt, fear and uncertainty, you can still give thanks. Choose to be grateful for your health, that you have clean water to drink, and a warm bed to sleep in. Learn to give thanks for your current situation, just as it is.

Connection and Friendship

Saying yes to participating in a wise women’s circle has proven to be a blessed gift of connection. For most of my life I chose to go it alone. I was the strong one and rarely ever asked for help from my friends. In the last two years I’ve softened and allowed myself to be witnessed when I’m sad, angry or feeling small. Do yourself a favor and set aside the illusion of your separateness. Learn to receive. Allow for more heart-centered openness, vulnerability and transparency. We are all in this together.

Now that I’ve shared how I choose to define my sacred life, I invite you to explore what lights you up, makes you feel vivacious and divinely present. You deserve to be the architect of your one precious life.

Sacred Questions

  • How do you wish to define your sacred life?
  • What can you do right now to be more present for your experience?
  • What makes you come alive?

When being around someone makes you feel bad about yourself

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CLM128As you’re starting your journey anew are you encountering others in your life who seem to want to tell you about their successes?  Their wonderful marriage, their fabulous job, their over the top vacations?  Do you find yourself feeling bad because you’re not where they are?

When we start over in some aspect of our lives it’s a natural tendency to think about what we’ve lost.  In my case my job and my financial security were gone and I had no idea what I was going to do.  Old friends and co-workers who went on and on about what they had triggered feelings of being a failure… and worthlessness.  I was not in a good place back then.  I started to avoid my friends and co-workers.  In doing so I felt more isolated and alone… which of course only added my misery.

It wasn’t until recently that I realized that it was only the people who needed to talk about what they had that were the ones I needed to stay clear of… at least until I was back on solid ground.  In so many ways these folks were afraid that what had happened to me would rub off on them or… as I came to learn some of them had a need to make themselves look better and make me seem worse.  Still others didn’t really know what I was going through.  Many were as uncertain in their own ways as I was in mine.  This doesn’t mean they were bad people… far from it.  They are just people dealing with their own issues… their way.

The good news is there are plenty of people in your life currently, who do love you, like you, enjoy your company regardless of where your journey has taken you.  And there are so many more friends you’ll meet who will only know you for who you are now.  Those are the folks you need to surround yourself with.  So rather than focusing on what you don’t have you can turn your attention to enjoying life again.

I know it isn’t always easy and we can’t always control the people we run into.  What we can do is limit the time we interact with those who aren’t what we need right now and expand the time with those we do.  There will come a time when you’re comfortable enough to keep comments in perspective and actually be happy for others.  Until then remember that it’s your life you need to build or re-build in a manner that you choose.  If you’re starting over this is your opportunity to do so on your terms and surrounded by the people you want in your life.  And that is a solid place to start.

With love, Cheryl

Want to have more support in your journey of starting over?  Cheryl is hosting a free seminar, Surfing the Emotional Waves of Starting Over,  on February 20th from 11am – noon Pacific/2-3pm Eastern.  Group and individual coaching programs are also available here.

Becoming Soul-cial Part II

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give flowersNo act of kindness, no matter how small, is ever wasted. –  Aesop

So, how are you doing on showing up for humanity?  Have you taken the time to incorporate the practice of “Soul-cial Living”, being mindful of the life in and around you?

Being present with kindness and compassion for all beings on the planet can be a challenge at times.  We earthlings are far from perfect, sometimes any storm, big or small, can through us off course.

On January 9, 2014, I shared 14 ways to become more Soul-cial.  In case you missed it, click here.

Below are 14 additional ways to practice.  I’ll share more in my next two features.  You know the saying, practice makes perfect!

  1. Just be kind
  2. Invite a friend out for a meal
  3. Deliver soup and flowers to someone who is not feeling well
  4. Send a client a note or gift thanking them for their service
  5. Put money in a meter that has expired
  6. Say I Love you
  7. Bring treats to the Police and Fire Department
  8. Take a senior citizen for a ride through their old neighborhood
  9. Volunteer at a local animal shelter and bring pet supplies with you
  10. Buy the person behind you a cup of coffee
  11. Let someone in front of you in line
  12. Hug your family and significant other as soon as you them
  13. Give one genuine compliment to everyone you meet
  14. Open doors for strangers, with a smile on your face

Ready, set, GO!

Turning Panic into Progress

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CLmDo you find yourself wanting to just “do” something when everything seems to be falling apart?  When the panic sets in do you freeze up or, if you’re like me, do you find yourself in a frantic state doing everything that comes into your mind in hopes that you can gain control.  It took me a long time to realize that all that doing was my undoing.

When something in our life seems to be out of control… or at least out of our control… our need to be in control kicks into high gear.  There are just some things in life that we cannot control.  An “act of god,” another person’s actions or illness and the decisions of governments, businesses or organizations we aren’t actively involved in… are all examples that come to mind.  Still every one of these changes lives.

In the last five years I’ve dealt with sudden death of a my dad, Jack’s life threatening illness and my company being acquired.  I can’t even begin to tell you how helpless those events made me feel… and how my panic in each case resulted in my taking action that didn’t help. Yes, hindsight provides clarity about the event, however, why not use it to also provide new guiding principles for your life?

What worked?  What didn’t work?  What’s important to you?  These are all good questions to ponder after your panic subsides.  How did your action during these times pan out?  Some worked, some didn’t. If you can take just a few moments of your time to think about it you can set yourself up to have a bit more control when the next event triggers your panic mode.  When you realize what worked and didn’t say it out loud to yourself.  But don’t stop there, add the statement, “When I get into a panic mode again I’m going to stop and remind myself of what I learned from the last time.”

We can learn from absolutely everything we do in life.  Choosing to do so moves you onto solid ground. And from there you can do anything!

With love, Cheryl

Cheryl

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