A safe harbor where beliefs are respected and kindness prevails.

The Art Of Tolerance

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fotolia_18012764_Subscription_LWhile camped out on the shores of Lake Michigan to write and relax, I became acutely aware of my environment. I wasn’t cradled by the sound of the waves crashing on the shoreline, or delighted about the warming sun on my body. I wasn’t basking in the pleasure of writing at the beach on a delightful spring day. I was triggered.

The art of tolerance escaped me. I was irritated with the chatty couple who decided to set up camp close to me, when they had miles of people-free shoreline. I became overstimulated by a barking dog in the distance; A gorgeous Golden Retriever having the time of her life playing fetch, hoping for one more swim to retrieve her tennis ball. My personal space was invaded. I judged the couple. I seethed about the barking dog and his clueless master. I found myself wondering, why me?  Why couldn’t I simply go to the beach and be left to write in peace?

The cosmic joke of this experience is that no matter how much I love my personal space and privacy, I am not alone on this planet. The roads will always have traffic. Dogs bark. People do, what people do. Yet I often expect others to honor my personal space, be mindful of  their actions and aware of their surroundings. The art of tolerance is a curriculum calling for my attention.  I still have much to learn about cultivating patience. Can you relate?

In hindsight I see that I had several options that day. I could have picked up my things and moved away from the cozy couple and happy dog. I could have noticed the distractions and let them go. I could have put my ear buds in and listened to Florence and The Machine or a guided relaxation. And… How much space do I really need? What might happen if I re-framed the trigger of a barking dog to something that emotes fun and playfulness?

I choose to become less reactive and will practice letting things slide. One thing is certain, walking on the path of patience and learning the art of tolerance will take a lot of practice. Thankfully I have the tools I need to exhale, learn from experience, and move forward with loving kindness.

I will always prefer silence and natural sound.  The crashing waves lull me to relax on the beach. The chatty couple and barking dog, not so much. No matter what kind of environment I prefer, the lifestyle I choose is one with community. Communities are not always quiet and relaxing. The real world is full of people, barking dogs, and blowing horns. Being alive is noisy.  So noted.

               I choose to be a student of the art of tolerance…

  • What triggers you?
  • How do you care for yourself when you are over-stimulated?
  • What do you do when you observe yourself judging others?

What Do You Want To Bloom In Your Life This Spring?

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Fotolia_29701059_Subscription_XXLThe wonderful thing about the changing of the seasons is that it provides opportunities to celebrate different aspects of our lives. Spring is when the light returns, when the weather warms, when we can start to spend more time outside because the days grow longer, when the blossoms burst out of winters barren branches. Life is fresh, young and new.

Most of us have traditions for each season too. For me it is Easter. For my Jewish friends it is Passover. Each religion has its special celebrations. Some of the traditions we repeat every year because they are touchstones to things that made us happy in our childhood. I HAVE to make an Easter basket for my husband every year. I HAVE to color Easter eggs. They are my touchstones to feeling good and there is only one time of year I can do that particular thing.

But this year, I want to start a new tradition. I want to think about and write down what I intend to spring forth for the first time this year for me. I will still do all my old patterns, even though they may not always have the power they once did, but I want to add one new tradition. Here are some things I have been thinking about and I encourage you to make your own list too. A list of possibilities for Spring!

  1. Reach out to make a new friend that has the same hobby or interest that I have.
  2. Plant something I have never grown before.
  3. Pick one activity for just one day that I want to volunteer for, such as working in a soup kitchen.
  4. Plan on a Sunday meal in a restaurant I have never tried, perhaps with a kind of food I have never tried.
  5. Volunteer to walk dogs at the local animal shelter.
  6. Buy or make myself a new piece of jewelry.
  7. Go on a hike at a new location.
  8. Take a Sunday ride to someplace I am curious about.
  9. Go to see a local live performance, of music or theater.
  10. Go wine tasting.
  11. Go to the Lavender fields.
  12. Take a crafting class.
  13. Take a golf lesson.
  14. Take singing lessons.

So now that I have my list, I will pick one of them and plan to do it EVERY year…not just this year. It will be my new Spring Fling! It will be my new touchstone. It might make the other things I ALWAYS do more joyful. I will not pick something because it is “good for me” or because I want to be “good.” I will pick something that stirs a little emotion in me, that “wakes up” part of me that may have been put to sleep by a life experience.

When I entered High School, I LOVED to sing. I wanted to sign up for chorus. But my mother, for a variety of reasons, told me I couldn’t…that if I sang too much when I was young I would get throat cancer. So I stopped singing.

Recently I finally found a church that suites me, after avoiding church all my adult life. They sing there. I sing there. I cry when I sing there! Finally, 50 years later, I have found a touchstone that makes me feel so good that I cry with joy!

This will be an easy habit for you to remember…because NATURE will remind you. The first blossom you see, the first bird making a nest, you will be reminded that there is a “blossom” in you that wants to come forth…drawn out but the light.

Time to find a new blossom for your soul!

Healing The Person Not The Dysfunction

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Fotolia_6950214_Subscription_XLWe in the western world are accustomed to solving the problems at hand without many time looking deeper at the true cause.

In western allopathic medicine there are ointments, pills, wraps, therapies, and surgery to resolve our health and wellness issues. The challenge is much of the time we are only addressing the outer physical dysfunction and ignoring the true cause within person.

When we address health and wellness in an integrative and holistic approach we look deeper into helping the person heal along with the dysfunction. Better stated we always want to help the person heal their spirit, mind, and body so that the body will then heal itself.

Remember, our bodies are amazing. They have the innate ability to heal themselves if given a chance.

When you are experiencing health issues, and or pain, certainly you should seek the advice of your doctor. However it is also an important moment to question what brought on the issue.

If I asked you what brought on your health issues most will say “ I don’t know” and I am sure that is probably true.

Yet it is our body that is experiencing the health issue. Why are we so blind to the causes?

We have never been taught how our bodies work. No one has ever told us how to help the body heal. Just as importantly we are reliant on the medical field to just tell us what’s wrong and by doing so we give our own power to heal ourselves away.

This power I speak of is nothing more than the knowledge, skills, and ability we need to acquire to help ourselves.

There are certain fundamental components to creating health and wellness in our lives. I have spoken of them frequently. What now needs to happen is for all of us to begin to implement them into our lives.

By implementing these 6 simple steps of health and wellness you can help your body heal itself, and in doing so create a life of health and wellness many people never get to experience.

Each one of these components is a simple step you integrate into your life at an optimum level. Starting from the top are your thoughts, then breathing, hydration, nutrition, exercise and sleep. Now there is much more than to say I already do those things, because of course we all do, but it the level at which you do them that makes the difference between healing or taking the path to illness and disease.

This is the concept in healing the person not the dysfunction.

To continually address the health issues and not address what a person is doing to their body that is causing the health issues is the definition of insanity.

Each and every one of us holds the power to make the best choices for our spirit, mind, and body. No one forces us to eat poorly, or abuse our bodies in the many ways that are available, whether it’s smoking, drinking, or any other type of abuse.

Happiness, health, and wellness have a simple formula. It first must start with a commitment to take responsibility for your actions, and stepping forward into healing yourself.

Illness, injury, and disease, many times are only due to our body’s inability to fight off the stages of the dysfunction. On the other hand when we live a lifestyle of health and wellness our bodies are well equipped to heal and defend against possible health challenges.

I would love to help you begin this journey of health and wellness.

I wish for all of you Vibrant Health!

David Fresilli – Holistic Health Practitioner

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Time To Listen

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Singing Tufted Titmouse JawDroppingPhotography“One of the most sincere forms of respect is actually listening to what another has to say.” – Bryant H. McGill

As spring finally arrives I am reminded of the importance of listening, deep listening, the kind of listening that awakens your soul.

Even though it’s still a little chilly in my neck of the woods, most mornings I put on my winter coat, grab my coffee and head outside before the sun comes up.  The dogs and I silently listen to the beautiful sounds of the birds as they wake up, singing their morning song.  I know they are speaking to me, telling me to embrace the day with love and gratitude.

As humans, we tend to get so caught up in our “own minds” that we don’t always take the time to deeply listen to another soul.  Being present, with an open ear, is one of the greatest gifts you can give to another being.

For years my husband and I have been following the teachings of Thich Nhat Hanh, who offers a simple yet profound way of being present in the world, with mindfulness, meditation and deep listening. When we began the process we realized that we really didn’t listen deeply.  We realized that many times we were, in essence, pretending to listen, with simple responses like, “oh, wow, and uh-huh”.

Listening is a skill that can be learned, and “good-listening” will enhance the quality of every relationship, whether personal or professional; your loved ones will realize that you really care and your clients/customers will appreciate that you actually pay attention to their wants and needs. Think about how you like to be treated and you’ll know that this feels true.

How do you practice deep listening? Here are 10 tips to begin:

  1. Set the intention to listen deeply, include listening to yourself
  2.  Be sure to allow enough time for the conversations you share – remember it’s a conversation and allow ample time for BOTH parties to converse
  3.  Be present – keep yourself tuned in to the moment
  4.  Minimize outside distractions – turn your phones off
  5.  Focus on what they are saying
  6. Don’t think about what YOU want to say
  7. Ask questions, the basics: who, what, where, why, when and how
  8.  When you ask a question, be patient for the response. Don’t anticipate what you think the response will be
  9.  Don’t give advice unless you are asked
  10. Notice how you feel when others offer deep listening to you.

Every day I catch myself not practicing these suggestions (a few years ago, I wouldn’t have) especially number 9, particularly when I’m talking with my adult children. It’s my nature to want to solve their problems and see them shine. Simply being aware of the moment that you really need to “be present” in a conversation is a great way to begin.

“I am determined to practice deep listening. I am determined to practice loving speech.” ~ Thich Nhat Hanh

For more information on how you can incorporate meditation into your life and practice Soulcial Living, visit the resources page at TeriGriffinWilliams.com

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