A safe harbor where beliefs are respected and kindness prevails.

Watching The News

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Huey Lewis and the ____…

I can count on one hand the newscasts I have watched in the past two decades. I haven’t consistently watched the news since 1991 when my sole purpose in life was to stay on the planet. Because I was ((((thisclose)))) to saying “adios” by my own hand, I had to, very consciously, make the commitment to myself to live.  In order to do that, I shut out the world, pretty much, to focus on my own healing process.

And what a process it was. Turns out, I didn’t need the news (or television for that matter) at all; my personal programming – riddled with internal mayhem and toxic experiences — was plenty entertaining all by itself! In fact, the goings on in my head needed my attention for a long time. I had preferred to distract myself with others’ fiction and non-fiction stories rather than focusing on my own.

Paying attention to myself and my own needs paid off in countless ways. For one, I came to realize that after watching a news program I was more depressed and scared than I was when it started. That wasn’t good for me. As sensitive as I am, I require lots of love and support, which I learned to give to myself, and I am peaceful and balanced now, rather than depressed and scared. I keep it that way by focusing on things that I find joyous, fun and empowering.

You may feel otherwise about watching a news program; you may not feel like jumping afterwards like I do. However, if you find that you seek more peace, a sense of tranquility or balance in your life in general, here are a few suggestions that can help you do that:

  1. Be willing to spend to quality time with yourself, just to check in. Let it be okay that you think how you think. Releasing judgment is key.
  1. Focus on your experiences in a different way: check in with yourself on how you feel before you watch a particular program, meet with certain people or engage in a specific activity. Afterwards, check in again. Do you feel better, lighter, happier or more empowered?
  1. Do more of what empowers you and less of what depletes you!

You may be surprised by what you will learn about yourself as you shift your focus from worldly matters to personal ones. You may find your inner landscape more lush and beautiful than a rain forest, and the rewards of a deepening personal connection to be satisfying beyond words. By checking in with yourself and becoming your own best cheerleader, you will find that there is no one on the planet more beautiful – or newsworthy–than you!

What Price are You Paying for Your Unrealistic Expectations

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ShannMany of the new entrepreneurs drawn to my transformational coaching and consulting business have super high (and often unrealistic) expectations of themselves and others. Add a heaping spoonful of impatience and a dash of ‘got to have it my way’ and they often end up with a recipe for disaster. The result? Disappointment in themselves and others when they don’t experience their unrealistic, perfect outcome.

I get it. Mentally requiring myself and others to aim for the heavens is something I can relate with. Thankfully, after a lifetime of “this is not good enough” thinking, I’ve learned to replace my expectations with invitations, intentions and strive for excellence.

The definition of an expectation is: ‘A strong belief that something will happen in the future.’

The definition of an invitation is: ‘The action of inviting someone to go somewhere or do something’;(this someone can be yourself).

The combination of the two: “The action of inviting someone to go somewhere or do something that will take place in the future.”

The combination of these two definitions allow us to set our intention and invite someone else to support us in the pursuit of whatever it is we may be creating.

When the invitation is accepted. It’s important that we trust the person we are in partnership with (no control freaks allowed) to create and complete the project, with room for flexibility to solve problems and take care of unforeseen issues or obstacles.

When we set our expectation bar as high as the moon, our ego will bash, belittle or destroy anything it considers to be less than perfect. Unrealistic expectations can breed insecurity in ourselves and can lead to blaming others for not stepping up as we expected they should. Harsh judgement is a clear trajectory to an abyss of disappointment. Perfectionist’s and over-achievers often find themselves in this situation. It doesn’t have to be this way!

When we choose to replace our expectations with invitations, we can support our peers (and ourselves) to show up to the best of their ability. We agree to do our part to the best of our ability, enjoy the creative process and let the rest unfold as it will.

I often recommend using language that is less demanding and more open and kind. Here are a few examples:

Your Friends:

I invite you to be mindful, honest and respectful.

Your Employees:

I invite you to be present, focused and get the job done to the best of your ability.

Your Clients:

I invite you to show up and communicate clearly and honestly about your needs/wishes.

To Yourself:

I will practice being patient and celebrate small successes while I make incremental strides toward my intentions.

Snapping our fingers and demanding our every wish to manifest in perfection is silly. This makes me think of Veruca Salt’s character in Willy Wonka and The Chocolate Factory. There is a scene where Veruca climbs up on the golden egg scale and quality control labels her a bad egg and drops her into an incinerator. I can almost hear petulant Veruca saying: “Daddy, if I don’t get EXACTLY what I want, I’ll make your life a living hell.”

Admittedly, I love getting my own way. I like to win. I enjoy making things happen. NOW. I also love to work and play with brilliant people. Who doesn’t? My point here is we can all raise the bar higher when we invite ourselves and others to come along for the ride with clarity, creativity, flexibility and a positive attitude.

Replace your expectations with invitations and enjoy the creation process!

  • What would happen if you replaced your expectations with invitations?
  • How have you been burned by expecting yourself to be perfect?
  • Have you ever expected too much of yourself, your family, employees or co-workers? How did that work out for you?

It All Starts With You

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Fotolia_43823620_Subscription_Monthly_MMake the committed decision to embrace your full potential and change your karma. Those are three big steps that support each other so you can become the person you have always dreamed of.

All this time you have had the power to create the health and fitness you have always desired. Yet this power has been misdirected because you were not aware of your potential and how to use it.

Making a committed decision is the first place to start in any journey. It is the committed decision to create health and fitness in your life even when times get challenging. A committed decision holds you firm and gives you strength and persistence. There can be no more excuses once a committed decision has been made.

Once you have made the committed decision to create health and fitness in you life it is time that you wake up and embrace your full potential to be amazing.

Most of us never even scratch the surface of what we are capable of. We all have an incredible depth of potential just waiting to be discovered.

The most certain way of discovering your potential is putting yourself in a position where you have to succeed. That is where your committed decision comes in to play.

Once you have made a committed decision there is no turning back, and so your mind will begin to access the depths of your higher-self to discover what has been latent till now.

Your potential is always there waiting to be called upon. The point is very seldom do we ever put ourselves in a position in which it needs to be called upon.

Living at your full potential means growth under demanding circumstances. It is only during times of demanding circumstances that we learn to access a deeper level of creativity.

To get there you must be willing to make the committed decision and see it through. Which means you have to stop believing you can’t and start believing you can, no matter how demanding the circumstances. You must dig deep, let go of fear, and live big. No one else can do it for you.

Once you begin to do this you will begin to change your karma.

Karma isn’t something set that can’t be changed. Karma is cause and effect.

If you have been living a life you don’t like, it is because subconsciously it is who you believe yourself to be. You can change your karma by changing who you believe yourself to be.

Make the committed decision to embrace your full potential and decide who it is you want to be, and then begin to believe yourself to be just that.

If you have been dealing with health issues, or wanting to lose weight, or get stronger, then you must begin to see yourself as healthy, lean, stronger person.

Let go of the past, and start creating your future. Do more to be more as they say.

Most importantly take responsibility for your health and fitness, and make the committed decision to create the life you desire.

I would love to help you on your journey of health and wellness.

I wish for all of you Vibrant Health!

David Fresilli – Holistic Health Practitioner

Want to work with David?  Want to know more about David’s lifestyle?

You can find him on:

Facebook, Linked in, twitter, www.holistichealth-fitness.com

“Be-ing” Not “Do-ing”

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being not doing

Recently one of my colleagues suggested that I didn’t seem to have many “hang ups” or issues around self-esteem, jealously, or power struggles with my peers. I said, “Well, I’d like to think that’s true; it’s not!”

I’m human; I have my moments like everyone else. (You may have heard me say that before.) I’m the youngest of six kids. Feelings of jealousy and lack were definitely present when I was young. The key word in the first sentence is “moments”. Through mindfulness practices I have learned to keep those feelings contained to moments.

What I love about Mindfulness and Buddhist teachings is that they offer the practice of being “present”, something I work at daily, sometimes hourly. For me, mindfulness means participating in life as it is, seeing situations and “things” as they are NOW, without judgment. Mindfulness means “be-ing” not “do-ing”

The practice of being present reminds me to live in this moment. It doesn’t mean that I ignore the times that feelings of lack, unworthiness or jealousy appear in my mind it simply means I recognize that those feelings are here. Sometimes I might take it further and ask myself what they are here for or what I might need to look at for healing within myself in order let those feelings move on. Sometimes it means I say to me, “That’s an old pattern or issue, that’s not my life now.”

We have become so used to “do-ing” and fixing that we forgot about “be-ing”. You can start “be-ing” mindful more often by incorporating some of the following practices into your life:

  1. Pay attention to your breathing. Sense the flow by being aware of the sound of your breath and the rise and fall of your chest and belly.
  2. Notice what you are doing while you are doing it and tune into whatever it is that you are doing. If distractions arise, notice them and come right back to what it is you are doing. When you are doing something, just do it. When doing dishes, do the dishes, when eating, eat.
  3. When walking, pay attention to where you are and what sensations might be going on in your body. Let thoughts of where you are going or what’s next on your to do list simply fade away.
  4. Practice listening to yourself and others without judgment. Focus on what someone is saying, without anticipating what your response will be.
  5. Spend time in nature. This could be at a park, a zoo, or simply in your own backyard; watch the leaves, the birds, the flowers, and the bees.
  6. Begin a mindfulness meditation practice by listening to guided mindfulness meditations or creating your own. Find a quiet place to sit or lay down comfortably; focus your mind on the present moment; be aware of your thoughts, without judgment, be willing to stop focusing on them and release them. As they appear you might say to yourself, “hmm – ok, I have this thought; now I let it go”.
  7. Take time to simply be. Release the need to constantly do something. Allow yourself to simply sit, lie down or stand without an agenda.

We tend to see things through our ego, through a biased mind, based upon our habits and emotions. When we can begin to practice “be-ing” instead of “do-ing”, our life easily and effortlessly becomes more joyful, the essence of Soulcial Living!

For meditations and more visit the resource page at TeriGriffiWilliams.com.

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