A safe harbor where beliefs are respected and kindness prevails.

Shortcuts Only Give Short Results

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dave_061--1It would be a fantastic life if all the shortcuts we heard about actually worked. In reality very few ever give the results they promote, and so it goes with the health and wellness industry.

Yes, sadly, the health & fitness industry has a tendency to take advantage of quick fixes. Take this pill, follow this diet, do this workout, and all will be well, you won’t even have to break a sweat.

I’m sorry folks, but the body doesn’t work that way, not when it comes to lasting, long- term health. The body is designed to heal itself when given the basics of health and wellness, and there is no cheating it.

The way to health and wellness may not be wrapped up in some high intensity, glamorous, infomercial with hot bodies showing their results, but it works, it works every time, and it is the way our body’s are designed.

Tried and true, the body responds well with proper nutrition, quality sleep, hydration, quality breathing, exercise, and a proper mindset.

A majority of health issues can be resolved when the body is given the time and basic inputs to heal itself. This can’t be done with pills or quick fixes.

Most people turn to quick fixes out of confusion and despair. They feel they have nowhere else to turn. They feel they’ve tried everything. They are filled with frustration and doubt. When they hear of products or services that will give the results they desire, they fall prey to the quick fix.

Some of these shortcuts, or quick fixes are fat burners, thermogenetics, non-steroidal anti-inflammatories, diuretics, antacids, anti-histamines, and cholesterol lowering drugs, high blood pressure meds,  antidepressants, and the list goes on.

Please understand I believe there is a time and place for the ethical use of some of these drugs under the supervision of a doctor. However, most are over used because we would rather not have to take a long-term approach to healing our bodies. In most cases, many of us feel it is easier to take a pill than put in the effort to clean up our eating, drink more water, start an exercise program, get quality sleep, breathe deep, and condition our minds.

We live in a world that expects instant gratification. We feel we shouldn’t have to work for, or put forth any energy, or time for the results we desire as long as we can pay someone else to do it for us.

Health and wellness comes as a result of a lifestyle, a lifestyle that follows the components of health and wellness. There are no shortcuts.

Short cuts have a way of catching up to us. They never solve the issue, they just put it off.

Don’t fall prey to short cuts. Live a life of health and wellness. If you don’t know what that means then reach out and ask. Take the time to know. I am here to help you on this journey,

I wish for you Vibrant Health!

David E. Fresilli

 

My Four Agreements

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One of my favorite books to reflect with is “The Four Agreements” by Don Miguel Ruiz.  In it, Don Miguel shares what he believes are the 4 principles to practices for personal freedom.  If you’ve never read it, I strongly suggest you do so, especially if you are a parent.  Each one seems simple enough and should have been ingrained in all of us at a young age.

What are Don Miguel’s “Four Agreements”?

~Be Impeccable with your word

~Don’t take anything personally

~Don’t make assumptions

~Always do your best

Teri WilliamsAfter reading “The Four Agreements”, I came up with my own personal list of principles. My personal agreements, as well as Don Miguel’s, are the foundation for living a soul-cially conscious life and have increased my capacity for love, for joy, for bliss. These personal agreements help me to better serve humanity in every way.

tgw personal four agreementsWhat are my Four Agreements?

Live with gratitude. You may have heard me say this before. Make gratitude a way of living. The first thing I do when I wake up in the morning and the last thing I do before sleep is thank the universe for another breath, another day. If being grateful doesn’t come easy to you, begin practicing it slowly, gently, without judgment. Sometimes you might have to look a little harder than others.

Practice Generosity of Spirit. Give of yourself freely, without expectation of anything in return, tangible or intangible. Real generosity is a quality of the spirit that is motivated by love and resides deep within your soul. Give of your time and your talents, especially if you can’t give money. Simply give love and a smile. Sometimes that’s all we have and sometimes that’s all someone needs.

Move your energy. Everything is energy; where and what we put our energy into expands, sometimes beyond measure. When that energy is not moving, it becomes stagnant. Tune in to what both your body and your mind need to thrive, to feel alive, and move your energy in that direction.

Choose Bliss – Live Soul-cially. Yes, we have a choice. Make a conscious choice to create more moments of joy and bliss in your life. What we focus on multiplies. Simply decide to focus more on what’s working in your life and what feels good. You will notice the difference it makes, not just in your life, but the life of those around you.

What are your Four Agreements? Ask yourself what are the most important virtues, characteristics or traits you need to live in harmony with life, to live soul-cially!

Magic Happens When Women Circle Up

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fotolia_8044338_Subscription_LA little over two years ago I began my first conscious journey around the sacred wheel of the 13 Grandmothers. My experience in this wise woman’s circle has rocked my world, healed my heart and truly changed my life in countless ways.

This weekend I will walk through the gateway of initiation as a member of the Changing Woman Sisterhood. I’ve have deep respect for the women in our circle. I have learned so much from each of them. We’ve laughed, cried, freaked out and even felt like we were going crazy at times. Together, we lost our way and found ourselves again. We have witnessed the joy and sadness of this earth walk for each other. During our initiation ceremony we will spiral back to the beginning of the wheel, circle inward and consciously come back home to ourselves.

When women come together and share from the heart:

  • We learn to let down our masks.
  • We learn that we each have permission to relax into who we are in the moment.
  • We can be vulnerable or strong.
  • We can participate or pass.
  • We learn that we have a choice.
  • We learn that we are not responsible for what other people think
  • We don’t have to accept or respond to others’ projections.
  • We learn to simply show up.

I’ve witnessed warrior women become soft and watched quiet women find their voice and learn to stand their ground. We practiced resonance and grounding techniques. We faced our shadows. We stepped into the responsibility of healing our lineage and in doing so, healed 7 generations of the women who came before us and the next 7 generations to come.

Powerful. Profound. Healing.

Throughout this journey, the grandmother’s gave me countless gifts and heavy blows to my ego. We walked through the forest on sacred ground and contemplated what we most needed it heal. During our first healing weekend we worked as a team preparing food, shared stories, drummed, sang and receiving powerful healing in the sweat lodge that we built together.

For this coming weekend I’ve been asked to identify what I am ready to let go of to make space for the woman I will become. I plan to let go of my inner tyrant’s hold on me along with the insecurity that often comes from harsh self-judgement and the “Who am I to be/do/say”? questions that come up on occasion. I will fill the space by opening myself to receive grace, compassion and self-love for the rest of the days of my life. I will practice remembering that I am worthy of all that I desire in this lifetime.

I’ve learned so much in these last two years. I’ve grown as a woman and feel I’ve crossed the threshold into adulthood. I’m really clear about what I’m responsible for. I’ve learned to ask for help, to lighten up and trust the process. ‘Trust and Surrender’ has been my personal mantra during this sacred journey. (Highly recommended for control freaks, perfectionists and high maintenance personalities)

One of the most powerful take aways over this period of time is the value of circling up with a community of women. The gift of learning how to set a safe container anchored in love which gave us the chance to receive our perfect knowing for that moment in time.

I am so thankful to come away with a rich tapestry of friendship, storytelling, healing, prayer, creativity, ruthless compassion and so much more.

I couldn’t have found a better teacher than the woman who facilitates our group. Lorraine is powerful, brilliant, flexible, funny and creative. She fills up a room with boundless energy, endless wisdom and a deep well of acceptance. She has taught me so much about community. She set and anchored a safe and sacred container for transparent stories, and deep healing. Thanks to Lorraine and my sisters, I have become a wheel dancer deepening into the present moment. This is my sacred life.

If you’ve been considering joining a wise women’s circle, I highly recommend that you do some research and find a group that resonates with you. Here’s some of what you can expect if you say yes to steeping into a community circle:

  • You’ll experience women you connect with immediately.
  • You’ll meet women who push your buttons.
  • You’ll meet women who remind you of people you’ve known before.
  • You’ll see yourself in the mirror of the group’s stories
  • You will meet your shadow, learn to shine your light and give her hug.
  • You’ll have a better understanding of why people behave the way they do.

Every woman brings value and teachings to her community. Every Transformation Goddess who says yes to dancing around the wheel is in for one hell of a ride.

What If This Is The Last Time?

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RD1I feel very fortunate to have my best friend and partner all in one person. It is a gift, yes, but it also means I have to be totally honest with Steve about everything. That’s what you do with best friends – confide – right? You tell your best friend all the annoying things your spouse does. Because Steve is my best friend, I really think about whether or not to mention the few little things he does that get under my skin. They are actually my issues, not his, right?

We had the wonderful opportunity of living with my mom, Dottie, for the last eight years of her life. We moved in with her after a health crisis that the doctors thought was the beginning of the end – saying we would have her for a year or two – but I guess that goes to show what cutting out cigarettes after 60 years and what a new diet of organic foods can do to extend your life. She bounced back and thrived. Although the journey was incredible, and the three of us had a blast together, there were times when I felt myself ready to snap or roll my eyes at her for being overly concerned about what I saw as trivial or her wanting to continue to do something the same way she had for 80 some years, when I knew better.

Most of the time with Steve and my mom, I would stop myself and say, “What if this were the last thing I got to say to them? Would this be what I would want to say?”

I started this habit when I thought I would only have Dottie for a short time. I started saying to myself, “If this were the last time …”It can sound heavy but it wasn’t/isn’t. It just made me stop and think.

We are rarely given the opportunity “to know”when something is for the last time. But when we are given the chance to know – you really pay attention. Your deep awareness takes over, and the trivial does not get a chance to interfere.

Fast forward eight years. Dottie had an episode with her lungs that put her in the hospital overnight. She seemed fine as we left the hospital that evening. The next morning they called to say she was having issues breathing, and they did not think she would pull out of it. In that moment I wondered if this would be the last day. But how could I know? I wished I could know.

As we rushed to the hospital, I felt a shift in my awareness. I told myself to stop the “what ifs”and be in each moment. When I got to her side, she motioned for me to take the oxygen mask off. Looking me in the eyes, she said in a whisper, “This is the day I am going to die.”I must admit that it took my breath away. But knowing Dottie, if anyone could pick their exit day, it would be her. I took a deep breath. I bent down and asked, “Do you know what time?”She shook her head no.

But I got an answer to my question. Yes, this was going to be the last day. It was almost 24 hours later that she took her last breath. But we, along with my brother Dave, stayed with her the entire time. One of us was always holding her hand, singing to her, saying the rosary, telling her how much we loved her. And even in her weakened state, I could hear her say back to us each time, “I Love you too.”

When the grief would well up inside me, I would say, not yet. You still have her. Be here. Open your eyes. Feel her skin, her hair. Be in the moment. As intense as it was, it was also so beautiful and life altering.

So I have been saying it even more. “What if this is the last time?”Again I don’t say it to bring up sadness. It is not about getting lost in the emotion of sadness. It is about bringing my awareness into the moment. It helps me to look into the eyes of the one I am speaking with. It has me look at each student in my yoga class and acknowledge them. It opens me to discernment, so I save my criticism for the things that REALLY matter. There are times when we must speak our truth. But many times our criticism is based on the fact that someone’s actions or words set us off because they are not doing it our way or the way we think they “should.” Anytime we think or say “should,”it is our expectations being reflected on to someone else.

“What if this is the last time …”is my way of bringing myself back to the moment I am in. It brings me into the NOW. My friend Cindy is dealing with aging parents and the natural tendency to start the grieving before anyone has moved on. You find yourself grieving because they are not the “way”they used to be or how you remember. We talked about it when her Mom went through a recent health crisis. We all age if we are fortunate enough to do so. All humans have aging in common. So be with them as they are Now. Don’t mourn how they used to be. That’s useless and just breaks your heart over and over. Acknowledge the natural process of things and open your awareness to the NOW. Be with them here. Maybe you let a few things roll off your back. Maybe you have to take a deep breath and allow them to be their eccentric selves. In the grand scheme of things, what does it matter? If it were the last time, what would you do or say? Pause. Pay attention as if there are no tomorrows. Don’t hope for more time or opportunities or blindly count on it; make use of the ones you have right now. Don’t stop yourself from reaching for their hand. Keep saying I love you even if it is never said back to you. If it is the last time, make sure you lived it true to your heart. Let your heart be free. Be kind. That kindness finds its way back to you.

I learned so much from my Mom. I am still learning. I have great gratitude that she gave me the experience of “knowing it was the last time.”I used that moment, that day, all the time to make my life richer and more meaningful.

It’s funny now how I find myself smiling at the little things about Steve that once bothered me. I open my Awareness, and I have gratitude for having him around. I find myself looking at him to capture every detail as if I might not get another opportunity. Live each day, each moment, as if it’s the only one you’ve got. That’s what is important. Namaste’

 Rob Dorgan

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