A safe harbor where beliefs are respected and kindness prevails.

5 Steps to Compassionate Self-Care

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Fotolia_53814602_Subscription_XXLFresh from a relaxing bath I marvel at my healthy form and feel thankful for learning how to appreciate and lovingly care for my body. I love my Shann-ness: curvaceous, flexible and strong.

I haven’t always felt this way. Years ago I had very little body-mind awareness. The disconnect had to do with overindulging in my former high-stress career, mind numbing drama, rich restaurant food, and partying like a rock star on the weekends. Thankfully, motherhood, Martial Arts and Yoga helped me walk away from a soul sucking career and bloated lifestyle which no longer suited me.

While lost in my career aspirations, I morphed into the predominately male culture in which I was immersed. I played golf, drank the finest wine and on occasion enjoyed smoking expensive cigars. I could be arrogant, impatient and totally closed off to myself.

At that time in my life, I was physically and spiritually inactive with the exception of an occasional visit to church on Sunday and weekend warrior activities. Escalating body weight and over-the-top Migraine headaches finally got my attention. I was anxious, depressed and out of touch with the body I’d kicked to the curb. My priority became letting go of what no longer served me so I could consciously create a new way of living. I was in desperate need of compassionate self-care. Can you relate?

A friend recommended yoga as a healthy activity to lower my stress levels and get in touch with my body again. Practicing yoga dramatically began to improve my life. In the years I have been interested in, studying and currently teaching yoga playshops; I have reinvented myself and learned to honor my mind, body and soul.

My personal recipe for compassionate self-care includes creating a sacred environment, honoring your body, practicing yoga, positive self-talk and getting unplugged.

Sacred Environment

Compassionate self-care includes surrounding yourself with a clean and beautiful environment. My walls are adorned with a collection of original artwork and landscape photographs. I keep a beautiful feminine alter showcasing love notes, flowers, images of my daughter and special treasures. My space is spiritual, colorful and exotic.

Aromatherapy is also part of my sacred life. I regularly spray lavender in the room for a calming effect or lemongrass when I want to wake up my senses. Smudging and burning my favorite Japanese incense is perfect for meditation, prayer, energy clearing and quieting my mind.

Honor Your Body

The benefits of massage therapy include lowering stress, deep relaxation, and improved circulation. I honor my body with regular hot stone body work. Part of my self-care routine also includes enjoying a soak in the tub several times each week. I love the calming energy of a hot bath with Epsom salts and lavender. I recommend creating a divine space complete with candles, incense, soothing music or a good book to read. Honoring my body also includes eating whole foods, raw foods and being conscious of how I nourish my body.

Practice Yoga

Yoga means union. Nurturing your body, mind and soul with a regular yoga practice can help you get in touch with who you are on a deeper level. I’ve learned to be gentle with myself through restorative poses. Tuning into my breath and how I feel while moving my body is a gift. Practicing yoga improves my body consciousness and helps me remain flexible and peaceful. I delight in leading yoga playshops for women in desperate need of soulful, relaxing retreat time.

Positive Self-Talk

Positive self talk is one of my favorite weapons to combat disempowering mental commentary. On occasion my mind can be an unruly playground filled with bullies, tattle tales and mean girls. When I am feeling battered by the schoolyard bully, positive self-talk is my magic weapon. I am no longer willing to live in the shame pit created by the harsh judgement of my inner critic. When feeling emotionally drained or insecure, I practice an internal dialogue like: “I approve of myself” or “All is well, I am safe.” Compassionate self-talk improves your self-confidence. Witnessing your internal dialogue will help you learn to practice nonviolent communication.

Get Unplugged

It is essential to regularly get unplugged from your highly connected virtual environment. I create an oasis of time each day to get out into the natural world. My mental clarity improves when I commit to hiking along a woodland trail or walking on the shores of Lake Michigan. When I’m freaking out about having too much on my plate, I make it a priority to step away from this self-imposed madness to soak up the sweetness of the day.

Not too long ago my soul was crying out for my attention. I’m so glad I listened. Compassionate self-care is a special gift that will improve your quality of life and well being.

Questions:

1. How do you practice compassionate self-care?

2. Is something in your life stifling your spirit? If so, what will you do to address it and honor yourself?

3. What does your self-talk sound like? When your inner critic tries to run the show how will you respond?

You Must Practice Before It Will Integrate

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Just last night I was sitting at my desk finishing up a podcast, and I was speaking about how “you must practice before it will integrate.” I was trying to help clients understand that lasting results only come with dedicated practice. With dedicated practice, the mind and body will integrate any actions or thoughts into a set of patterns that eventually become second nature. The mind and body will integrate thoughts and/or actions into its normal way of thinking and moving.

Fotolia_105312_Subscription_LTake the example of playing the piano. One must consistently practice in order to develop into a highly skilled piano player. You need to practice your scales first, and then move up to playing a complete set of music. All along the way your mind and body become more and more familiar as to what fingers to use, where to place them, and in what combination and sequence.

This can, at first, be quite challenging. Every time you sit at the piano the mind and body have to be reminded about proper finger placement, rhythm and so on. Thankfully, as time progresses the mind and body learn what is expected. The placement of your hands and fingers become so natural, you can actually feel the music as it moves from your body to express itself in the piano. Playing happens almost simultaneously with your thoughts about the notes. You have practiced so much that your mind and body have integrated the process of playing the piano as naturally as breathing.

This concept of “Entrainment” happens with every thought and consequential action you take. Your thoughts, feelings and actions are, in a greater sense, all entrained within your subconscious. As I have mentioned several times, it is your self-image, seated within your subconscious, that determines much of what you think and do.

Before any of this solidified as your self-image, it had to be entrained.

We either consciously or subconsciously accept thoughts and experiences as true. When this is repeated over and over it will become entrained. My focus here is on this repetition of your own thoughts.

When you begin to understand the power of this repetition, you can use it to your advantage. Just like becoming a highly skilled piano player, you can become whatever you desire, through repetition.

I will always direct our conversations toward health, fitness and wellness, but realize this works for anything in your life.

I urge you to practice your new self-image until it integrates into your subconscious in a way that it becomes natural. With practice, you will allow yourself to take on that healthier, happier image you have always desired!

Easy-peasy…right? Well, it can be quite easy once you begin to practice. In a sense, you have to practice the practicing. You have to become accustomed to your new self – image of health, fitness and wellness. This really is no different than learning to play the piano.

This practice is an acquired skill that results from consistent repetition.

If you truly wish to be healthy, you will finally embrace the value of practicing a healthy lifestyle. You will actually practice consistently eating well, exercising, drinking water, getting the proper amount of sleep, conditioning your thoughts, and breathing correctly.

These are the 6 Components to Health and Wellness that we have learned together!

You may now be saying, “why does David keep bringing up these six components?” It is because I care about you. Really, I do! I am conditioning you through repetition, so that these components become engrained into your thought process. This will allow you to more easily integrate these six components into your life.

I am your coach and your confidant. I know it can be a bit daunting to venture down the path of health, fitness and overall well being. Through years of studying what it takes to truly be completely well I also know that, with practice, anyone can obtain optimum health and wellness.

With consistent repetition you will naturally become that healthy, fit and sound individual. You will become a person who actually enjoys eating well, exercising, and obtaining enough water and sleep. You will greatly benefit from conditioning your thoughts through proper breathing and mediation techniques.

This new and improved self- image will be entrained into your subconscious. You will actually live like this without thought or effort, just like you are living right now as the person you are. At the moment, you don’t consciously consider what type of person you are…do you? Of course not! This is because, over the years, the current image you have of yourself has become entrained into your subconscious.

Would you like to recreate your image, and forge this incredible path taking you to health, fitness, and complete wellness?

Would you like to be filled with vibrant energy and vitality?

Take the first step, and reach out to me. I would love to help.

I wish for all of you Vibrant Health!

You Can Get A Lot Done In An Hour

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(It took less than that to write this post.)

writers blockBelieve it or not there are times in my life when I can be quite the procrastinator. I bet most of you reading this have had your moments. The past few months I have been struggling with writer’s block. I’m not sure if it’s the beautiful weather, the lunar cycle, or what, but I have had a hard time shaking it. So when deadlines hit I procrastinate, putting it off until the very last minute. (If Cheryl Maloney, Publisher of Simple Steps Real Change Magazine, is reading this, she will verify that!) Some say that this “condition” is more of a “writing procrastination” than writers block. Either way, it’s time to practice what I preach and move on.

What would I tell a client or one of my children that might be procrastinating about anything?   Stop! Okay, to most people who would be too easy. In that case, I offer them the following 7 tips, which, by the way, I have begun to re-practice myself!

7. Timing – Allow yourself ample time to do the thing you need to do. (For me it was less than an hour!) Set the timer. When the timer goes off, get up and walk away. (Just like they do on the cooking shows.)

6. Trigger – What’s the trigger that’s causing your procrastination? Why are you avoiding it? Is it a fear of failure, self-doubt, and feelings of not good enough? Look at past successes to help you eliminate those triggers.

5. Perfectionism – Release the notion that it “has to be perfect”. Sometimes your “okay stuff” is your publisher’s perfect piece. Let someone else do the edits; that’s probably what they get paid for.

4. Space – Create or find a comfortable space to write in, a space that inspires you. Maybe it’s nature, maybe it’s a coffee shop, and maybe it’s your kitchen table. Try a few places out and see where you connect the best, where you get the most done.

3. Prioritize – Tackle the hard stuff early. Make a list beginning with the most challenging or daunting task and start there. Once it’s complete you will feel a genuine sense of accomplishment which might make diving into the rest a little more enticing.

2. Eliminate distractions – Close the door and leave our phone in the other room. Don’t even think about opening email, Facebook or any other type of Soulcial Media platform, until you’ve finished your task. In fact, make that a reward of sorts. Remove as many distractions from our surroundings before you begin.

1. Just do it! That’s right, like the Nike ad suggests. Just do it! Jump in. The sooner you get it done, the better you will feel!

As you can see, these suggestions apply to almost any area of your life that you might be procrastinating about something. When none of these work, eat chocolate. J

 

The Hundredth Monkey, Fact Or Fiction?

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Metaphors are a great way to teach an abstract concept. One popular metaphor is the story of “the hundredth monkey.” The story goes that in the 1950’s some Japanese scientists observed monkeys on one island learn to wash sweet potatoes before eating them. The behavior spread locally and, as the story goes, when a certain number of monkeys started doing it, monkeys on neighboring islands started doing the same thing, with out direct exposure to the behavior. The inference is that consciousness can grow and expand and have an influence on the larger population without direct contact.

Fotolia_4552907_Subscription_LApparently there is little truth to this actual story, and yet it is a great metaphor we can learn from and believe in. Another term that we hear is “tipping point.” It is a term used in sociology with its origins in physics. According to Wikipedia, it is described as “adding a small amount of weight to a balanced object until the additional weight caused the object to suddenly and completely topple, or tip.”

So here we are at a tipping point in our world. We have been told for decades that we are in an “age change,” shifting into the “dawning of the age of Aquarius” as we learned in song many years ago. The birth and growth of the Internet could be our tipping point…we have become one global family, over night really. But that great advance has come with a price…that we are as children in a family fighting for our rights to behave how we have always behaved, despite the way we now see others behaving. My way or the highway…but there is no highway off the earth at the moment, so the next big challenge is for us to learn how to get along with each other, to let others be the way that they want to be and know that it doesn’t take a single thing away from “my way.”

From earliest man we have feared people different than us…and fought them to protect our own kind. But now, for the first time, it is global and we are mentally overwhelmed at how many different ways there are to live as humans. This can cause us to be frightened to the core…or not!

So if we look at humanity as a whole, with one side fighting to the death for their way, and the other side hoping for, envisioning, praying for peace – to which side are you adding weight? With people able to express their thoughts now via social media, it “appears” as though we are more and more divided. But appearances are just that…they are not fact. The news media competes for your attention by stirring up your emotions…emotions of fear and anger at a survival level. I watch the news to remain aware of what is going on in my neighborhood, state, country, continent, and planet…well, in my universe. But I don’t let it take hold of my emotions. How do I not? Here are some simple steps I do and if we all did them, well, we might just be human/monkey #100! I believe it is so.

  1. Start each day with a quick meditation to listen to what your highest self has to say. That part of you is outside the fray of daily life so the information is on the positive side. If you don’t know how to meditate, there are about a thousand programs out there now, many of them free, so find one that appeals to you and invest a little time in learning this new skill.
  2. When you watch the news or read the newspaper or get a news feed online, monitor your emotional reaction to what you are reading or watching. If you find yourself having a negative emotional reaction (really hard not to), try to use that discomfort as fertilizer for a new idea of something positive you can do in your own community.       What we all see going on around the world is horrific, but I can’t let it take me to a horrific place…the only way men will ever put down their arms is if the consciousness of humanity moves past it. So I want to be on the positive side of that scale. I so admire our young men and women who are willing to put themselves in harm’s way for people they don’t even know…but I envision the day when they don’t HAVE to do that any more.
  3. Spend a minute or two every day in gratitude for what is around you. There is always something to be grateful for, even the smallest thing…like that it didn’t rain today, or it DID rain today (we live in the Southern California drought.)

So if you do these things, you will feel better…and the more people who feel better, the better the chance of the shift into a world free of war. Who knows, what if it turns out the hundredth monkey theory IS true, and YOU are the hundredth monkey!

I look forward to your comments! Write to me at: voiceofyoursoul@gmail.com

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