My friends went on a mini road trip with their three month old baby to visit family. They had a terrific time and I enjoyed hearing about it when they returned. After all, with their first child in tow it certainly was a brand new experience. And, they couldn’t be happier.
My friend is totally in love with his baby son. He is hands on and very attentive. He is eager to do whatever it takes to ensure the baby’s safety, health and well-being.
He told me that when the baby was born, he and his wife would feed him every two hours, and then a couple of months later, the baby started sleeping for four hours at night. However, after their mini road trip, the baby reverted to waking up every two hours again. We gathered that it was probably due to his routine being interrupted by the road trip, but whatever the reason, it didn’t matter. They would honor his two hour schedule until he resumed a longer sleep cycle.
For so long I had felt damaged and undeserving. But when my son was a newborn, I would marvel at how beautiful and innocent he was. That was the first time I made the connection that I, too, was once as tiny, vulnerable and innocent. It rocked my world.
When I reconnected with the idea that I was innocent, I unwittingly began my healing journey. I came to realize that the abuse I experienced as a little girl wasn’t my fault. By safely expressing my anger and sorrow, my wounds began to heal for real, and I learned to value myself authentically for the first time ever.
As I healed, my enthusiasm and optimism returned in earnest. I learned how to stop comparing myself to others and honor my own thoughts, feelings and experiences. In short, I reconnected with my own “normal.”
I think about how easy it is to simply accept the routine as it naturally unfolded for my friend’s son. And, I wonder how life would be if we reconnected with our innocence – or blamelessness, goodness, guiltlessness, and purity. What would life be like if we honored our unique timing, and understood that the non-preferred situations in our lives still render us blameless and pure?
By conforming to what we see and experience in the world, we can lose the connection with our own “normal.” We second guess our thoughts and feelings; we see someone else’s success and believe that we’re doing things wrong; and we think that connecting with the idea of innocence is like the kiss of death.
When it comes to the little ones we can effortlessly honor their timing and their innocence, yet it is beyond challenging to merely acknowledge our own. It’s as if we are clay — molded into society’s desired shape and form for us to the point where we may forget who we really are.
For example, when your feelings are hurt, I’d be willing to bet you have a, “I shouldn’t feel this way” inner dialogue to some degree. Generally speaking, the word “should” infers that the right way to do something is “out there” in the world somewhere, and is not in harmony with how you are feeling naturally. So, you ignore or judge how you feel in search of the “right” way to feel.
When you ignore or judge how you feel, you miss the opportunity to connect with yourself in an authentic way. If you are being authentic, you will acknowledge what is so for you. When you re-align with that, watch your intuition and clarity sharpen!
We must continue to break the mold of conforming to what we view as “normal.” It is time to destroy the myth that you can find happiness outside of yourself. It is time to reconnect with your innocence and self-trust. It is time to embrace your non-preferred experiences, not as a victim but as the strong and victorious person that you are.
You were born with everything you need in order to thrive on the planet. You were given the tools to gain strength and wisdom from your non-preferred experiences, and to honor yourself in the midst of them. You have the ability to reconnect with your sound judgment, good timing and beautiful innocence. May you enhance your connection to your authentic self this year and always.