A safe harbor where beliefs are respected and kindness prevails.

How to Embrace Change

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Fotolia_51617268_Subscription_XXLThe idea of Embracing Change comes into our lives many times. The question is, do we embrace those changes or do we hide from them? Change usually comes swiftly, and when it is difficult, how truly prepared are we? We seem to embrace good change with happiness and gratitude; difficult change makes us want to hide under the covers. I have witnessed and experienced both, just as you have. Job loss, losing a loved one, illness, break-ups, family and friend situations that can leave us feeling stuck and keep us from living the life we desire and deserve.

The most significant life-altering change I have ever experienced happened to me four years ago at this exact time. It was a hot September day when I was told by my doctor that I needed to permanently quit my job due to the seriousness of being diagnosed with Lupus and several other chronic illnesses. As if I had left my body and was watching myself from across the room, I could feel the life being sucked out of me.. A few minutes passed before I was able to gather myself together in one piece again. My husband was asking me questions, and I was just sitting there with tears rolling down my cheeks in a daze.

Five months later when I, in a profound truth, accepted the fact that nothing lasts forever and change is part of life, I became better equipped for the journey. Struggle occurs when we resist reality. So the best way to end the struggle is to embrace the impermanence of life. Enjoy the good, and remember that the not-so-good times are just temporary. The light will appear at the end of the tunnel, it is bound to happen, you just need simple practices that bring you home to your truest self.

How to embrace change:

1. Don’t do anything, just sit still and be silent.

If you’re facing a massive rescaling of your life, your first impulse will be to go into a whirring spin of activity and mind chaos, which is exactly what I did right after I was diagnosed. I later discovered there’s a lot of value in sitting quietly and being with yourself in thought instead. You need to allow yourself periods of silence to find clarity and resolve.

 2. Listen to your wise heart.

When others know we are going through a change, it seems they become experts on what we need to do. Advice comes: what we should do, what we shouldn’t do. It can be frustrating. I am not saying we don’t need support from others, we do … what I am saying is to listen to your inner voice and listen from your heart. Your heart guides you. You become very intuitive. You gain more confidence to question what is best. You learn to begin over exactly where you are.

3.  Learn to live with uncertainty.

Allowing life to unfold in the present will keep you from worrying over questions and solutions that may never even evolve. This is also a great way to add creativity and newness to your life. You might feel anxious, but that does not signal that you’re doing something wrong, only that you’re trying something new. Uncertainty when used as a tool opens up so many possibilities we never even knew existed.

4. Shed your old skin.

Discard physical clutter, tired ideas, old routines. Seek out a coach or mentor … seeing things through another’s eyes can help. This is one of the most helpful practices I embraced. I learned practices that still serve me well today. I continue to cultivate practices I learned over three years ago (mindfulness, meditation, breath practice, daily ritual and so many more).

5. Ignore your inner reptile.

There’s a part of the human mind that is often referred to as the “lizard brain,” because it existed in the earliest land animals. The lizard brain is concerned with survival; it likes the tried and true so it’s likely to pipe up at any time, flooding you with adrenaline warnings of “Danger!” This was a handy function to have when deviating from the familiar path to the watering hole. But in the modern world it’s based within our ego and emerges when we feel fearful of things that are out of our control or by mind sets we pay attention to that have no thought or reasoning. It is our flight or fight instinct. Learn to ignore these thoughts, or talk to them and watch them go … pouf!

6. Learn self-care, self-compassion, self-love.

This is another one of my favorite practices, maybe indeed my favorite. Start learning how to become your own best friend, and be gentle with yourself. When familiar routines suddenly change, it can seem as if all your ideals are gone. For a while after I lost my health, I had the sense that I was in a free fall. I lost my identities that were so inner twined. While absorbing the shock of the new, it’s crucial to make yourself feel well taken care of. Put yourself first, not in a selfish way, but in a self-full way.

The ability to go from resisting change to embracing change can happen. It may not happen overnight, but that is okay. You are the only one who can make the choice to resist or embrace change. The next time you are faced with an experience which causes your reality to change, take a deep breath and take a step back. It is okay to be concerned or frustrated, you are human after all. Once the emotions have calmed down, just remember … we are all works in progress.

One Size Does Not Fit All

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Fotolia_49656615_Subscription_XXLWe always hear “Everyone is different,” but when it comes to exercise and the latest diet, most folks don’t question the validity of the program … they jump on the wagon with everyone else, hoping for the fantastic results advertised.

It is important to understand exercise and food are medicine and need to be prescribed based on the client’s genetics, needs, and abilities.

Let us look at food and how the body can respond (a good effect) or react (a poor effect.)

This is a basic understanding so that you can begin to grasp how your body works.

Some of us are considered Fast metabolizers (protein types) while others are Slow metabolizers (carbohydrate types [don’t get excited]), and then there are hybrids called Mixed types (a combination of protein /carbohydrate).

Here’s a simple breakdown of how each one works:

Protein Types 

Protein types are able to breakdown carbohydrates at a faster rate, which then allows the sugars (glucose) into the blood steam at an elevated rate. Normal levels range from a fasting level of 70–100 decimeters to 135–140 decimeters after a meal. When levels go above this, you begin to feel the negative affects.

 As a protein type you do best on vegetables as your carbohydrate source, and higher purine proteins (meat, fish, fowl, eggs). Protein sources such as salmon, red meats, dark meat poultry, and organ meats have a higher fat and/or purine content.

Carbohydrate Type

A carbohydrate type is a slow oxidizer and breaks down carbohydrates at a much slower rate. This releases the sugars (glucose) into the blood stream at a tolerable rate so there is an appropriate insulin response.

Carbohydrate types usually do better on lite meat proteins such as chicken breast, white fish meats, egg whites, and more vegetables. Remember when I said “Don’t get excited?” Here’s the catch to being a carb type. Just because, as a carbohydrate type, you can handle carbs better, doesn’t mean you should be eating pasta, breads, grains pastries, and sugars.

Mixed Type

Then there is a Mixed type. These folks vacillate between a Protein type and a Carbohydrate type. They have the most variety in their food choices but also have more of a challenge knowing their responses to the foods they are eating. For instance, if they are working out hard, they may feel the need for more protein. When they are spending more time working at their job using their minds concentrating, they may wish to increase their vegetables (carbs) intake.

These different metabolic types help us understand why some folks do really well on high protein diets such as the Atkins, and others do not. Some folks do great on high carb/low fat diets while others pack on the pounds.

So this is why one size can’t fit all.

Here are a few keys to help you to begin understanding what type you might fall into.

Signs you could be a fast oxidizer:

  • After eating a high carbohydrate meal you feel a cloudy head, tired but wired.
  • After eating a meal with carbs you feel hungry or want to take a nap.
  • Highs and lows in your energy.
  • ADD/ADHD symptoms.
  • Anxiety
  • Headaches.
  • You may possibly have chronic issues such as depression, toxicity, neck/shoulder pain, lower back pain, sleep poorly, adrenal stress, immune system issues, diabetes, constipation or diarrhea.

Signs you could be a carbohydrate type:

  • After eating a high fat/protein meal you feel lethargic, sluggish, too heavy in your gut, crave sweets, or some kind of stimulants such as coffee or tea.
  • You may possibly be dealing with chronic depression, overweight, toxicity, not getting a good response from aerobic exercise, neck/shoulder pain, lower back pain, aging too quickly, adrenal fatigue, ill health, low energy, and bad body odor.

You’ll notice that many of the chronic responses for both of the types are the same. This is because when you are eating incorrectly for your type, your body can react in common ways.

Here is a good way to start once you have figured out your possible type:

  •  A Protein type should consume dark, heavier proteins/fats with vegetables.
  • A Carb type should stick to lighter proteins and more vegetables.
  • As a Mixed type you get to experiment a bit more trying a couple days as a protein type, and then the next couple days as a carb type. You can then take note of the differences in how you feel.

You see, your body will actually tell you what type you are by it’s response (good) or reaction (poor) to the foods you eat.

When you eat a meal and it is right for you, you will actually have more energy than before you ate. You should feel a state of well-being, and should be able to sustain good energy till your next meal 3.5 to 4 hours later. You should have a clear head with good mental focus, and have no cravings for sweets or more food. This means eating the right foods in the right portions. Overeating is not healthy. It takes an incredible amount of energy for your body to breakdown/digest, and assimilate food.

We always want to choose high quality foods that have been minimally processed. This means organic, free range, wild caught, no hormones or antibiotics, no pesticides, herbicides, rodenticides or chemical fertilizers.

Once you begin to feed your body the way it is designed, all manner of health benefits will begin to emerge.

There really is no big secret to eating healthy and enjoying the benefits of properly feeding your body. These benefits include losing excess body fat, which has for the past forty years become a national obsession with little result.

Eating healthy for your individual type is so simple.

Quality foods that are not processed are first and foremost. Secondly, becoming aware of eating what feels best for your body. Lastly, choosing the right portions without overeating. These three simple steps will go a long way to increasing your health and wellness so you feel and perform at your very best.

Start feeling what your body is telling you every time you eat and drink. Your body is amazing. It is giving you feedback every moment of the day. All that is required is to embrace what your body is telling you, and then take note. With just a little bit of attention you will quickly begin to understand how to eat in order to heal yourself and allow your body to thrive only on the foods it truly needs.

If you would like help with this, just drop me a line. I’ll be happy to coach you through it.

What is Your Role?

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Fotolia_43751292_Subscription_XLMany of us sometimes feel that what we do for ourselves personally isn’t important for the global picture, but it really is. I am starting to see now how shifting up of consciousness is a “group effort” and everyone has a part to play. We are all in this together!

My gift to help people at this time is the use of divination to get messages from our own higher selves … for personal guidance. I studied the I Ching many years ago and learned for myself how information comes to us and how profound it can be if we are in the right place when we ask questions or ask for general advice. It takes a GIANT leap of faith to learn to listen to and TRUST our higher self. It is also important to know that you might well make mistakes as you learn to identify that specific voice. The difference between a culprit thought or a childhood guilt and your own higher voice is very, very subtle … but practice makes perfect. It is the only way to learn …by practicing.

For me, I use my own deck of Voice of the Soul cards or the I Ching. You can use any system as long as you are comfortable with and can relate to the symbols. There are TONS of decks of divination cards available today … hayhouse.com lists an amazing 83 different decks you can purchase … so certainly there is a deck that will work for you.

The real key to learning to “hear” your higher-self voice is to be in the right state when you draw your card. If you are in an emotional state of turmoil, you are not likely to get an accurate reading. At the very least, take a few deep breaths and relax and clear your mind so that you only see the question you are asking or the period of time you want general advice for. Using divination cards is only one way to learn to listen to your higher self. The more you listen to your higher self, the higher your vibration will be.

So how does learning to listen to your own higher voice, and hence raising your vibration, affect the whole planet? How does what you do help all of humanity? Think of every human as if they are a tuning fork. If you are not sure what a tuning for is, go to http://www.onlinetuningfork.com/ and click on the images there to hear them. They were designed for musicians to use to tune their instruments. I have seen a demonstration where one tuning fork that has been struck is moved next to another one and that one will start to vibrate too!

What that means is that how you are vibrating … at what level … will affect the person next to you in line in the grocery store … and your family that lives across the country! So the efforts that each of us makes to “raise” our vibration to a higher level really does have an effect on the whole planet. You have likely seen the film of the ping pong table covered with mouse traps with a ping pong ball in each one. Tossing one ping pong ball onto the table sets off a reaction that causes all the balls to jump into the air. We can’t SEE the vibrations that we are emanating, but others can FEEL the vibration of your energy and will respond to it. If you have ever stood next to someone that gave you a chill, it could be that their vibration is very low, giving you the feeling of cold.

I wish “mood rings” really worked so we could easily monitor our vibration at all times. Actually, there are companies making devices that help you monitor your level of anxiety/calm. I have one myself. It is simple to use and is just one more way you can help yourself … which in turn will help everyone else. Just ask to be “shown” something like this that is right for you and before you know it, a friend will tell you about it or a magazine will fall open to an article about it.

The good news about this is that all of these things I’ve mentioned here are beneficial to us. The idea of “personal sacrifice for good of the whole” is no longer valid. The better it gets for each of us, the better it gets for the whole family of humanity.

That makes it a WIN/WIN for all of us! Think of all the people in the world as if they are standing on a step that goes around the world. We are all holding hands. As some of us raise our vibrations and are ready to jump up to the next step, we help the person next to us make the jump too. So if half the people of the planet are ready to jump, that is enough energy to help the other half make the jump … every other person in the string of people.

The good news is that more people every day understand this and are improving their own lives, no matter how it APPEARS the people of the world are behaving. Many of us are faced with serious challenges at this time, but we keep looking up. Keep the faith. If you are having trouble doing that these days, spend a few minutes each day in quiet time or meditation. It doesn’t have to be a big formal ceremony. Just when you have time and a quiet space, close your eyes and listen to that inner voice. Or reach out to a friend … after all, we really are all in this human experiment together!

Healing Through the Lifetime of Trauma

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Fotolia_36728627_Subscription_LMy best friend died from injuries sustained in a motorcycle accident one month before his 21st birthday (and two months before mine). Although others I have loved made their transitions when I was younger, none impacted me like his. I felt that the proverbial rug, my foundation, had been pulled from under me. The day he left was the day my life without him was born. I literally had to learn to live all over again. “Janet, you must get up now and use the bathroom.” “Janet, it is now time to brush your teeth.” “Janet, get in the shower.” There was an inner voice instructing me what to do because I was no longer on automatic pilot in order to perform even the most mundane tasks.

When I was 42 years old and celebrated the 21st anniversary of his transition, I acknowledged myself for having come of age in the context of living without his physical presence. The experience of it was now mature, and I honored him while celebrating my own fortitude in surviving this personal trauma.

The dictionary defines “trauma” as: (a) an injury (as a wound) to living tissue caused by an extrinsic agent, (b) a disordered psychic or behavioral state resulting from severe mental or emotional stress or physical injury, or (c) an emotional upset.

What if you consider that your traumatic experiences are dynamic, living things? That they are born, live and transition, just like any other living thing? For example, if you lightly prick your finger or are annoyed because the supermarket lines are too long, those traumas are relatively minor and are born, live and transition out very quickly, sometimes in a matter of nanoseconds. Others, like the death of a loved one, may take much more time. I have found that assigning an age to something that has really impacted me has helped me garner a deeper understanding of myself, the impact of that experience, and a true level of patience, understanding and kindness for my own healing process – in other words, true compassion for myself.

The dictionary also defines “compassion” as: sympathetic consciousness of others’ distress together with a desire to alleviate it. One example of an act of self-compassion – that sympathetic consciousness we can summon so readily for others – would be to allow ourselves to take whatever time we need in order to heal from whatever happened. Oftentimes we berate ourselves for not getting over things as quickly as we think we should, but just whose time frame are we adopting? It’s obviously not our own, or else the impatience wouldn’t be there. We are so quick to advise others to be patient and let things be okay as they are, yet we don’t extend that to ourselves. It’s like leaving your body and viewing your life from a critical point of view when you would be better served by staying in your body and living your life in the manner in which you live it, without explanation or apology.

Remember to take whatever time you need in order to heal from what happened. For example, if you find yourself crying and missing someone three years after their transition, the experience of living without your loved one is three years old and would be considered, basically, a toddler. And wouldn’t you be patient, understanding and kind to a toddler? Then why not be patient, understanding and kind to yourself as you grieve?

If you’re grieving a recent breakup that is no longer as painful as it was initially, perhaps that event is already middle-aged, or it might be very old and will be transitioning soon. How comforting it would be to describe it in those terms and appreciate how far you’ve come.

You may believe like I once did that in order to move forward successfully, you must simply forget about traumatic things that have happened, that giving them attention keeps you stuck in them. I lovingly submit that giving traumatic experiences the attention they need, just like a growing child, assists them in reaching maturity. By allowing them a voice, allowing them to safely express themselves, they don’t get stuck. They naturally move forward towards healing and wholeness, and you move forward towards healing and wholeness right along with them.

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