A safe harbor where beliefs are respected and kindness prevails.

Face Your Fears

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And Claim Your True Calling

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“Creating your life on your own terms is really about allowing for grace through your next transition.”

I woke up in a dreadful fury. The red light on the alarm clock glared at me: 5:30 a.m. A few more minutes of sleep was all I wanted – anything to put off going back to another useless morning meeting.

Does this sound like your average day? It used to be mine.

For many years, I had enjoyed my job, but now it felt more like a prison sentence, and I knew I had to find a way to escape. I decided that I deserved to follow my creative calling. It was time to get real, face my fears, develop a career transition plan, and become the mistress of my own destiny.

I was unconsciously bumping around from one role to the next, one task to the next, seemingly dead inside. It made me ask myself: how had I become numb and cut off from a world filled with abundance and wonder?

What does going through the motions look like? Sometimes it’s hard to recognize when you’re just “bumping around” while you’re still bumping around. You may feel confused, fearful, angry, and scattered. You may distrust your own decisions and feel more worried or anxious than normal. The pain of an uninspired work life lends itself to a reactionary autopilot protection program that only makes things worse. Living on perpetual autopilot does not serve anybody well.

One big red flag for change is that you’ve been putting your life on hold. Are you waiting for your tenth anniversary watch/clock/golf clubs before moving on? Are you putting off having children or taking a life-changing adventure vacation because you “can’t afford” to be away from your desk? If so, ask yourself what you’re really waiting for.

I remember precisely when I realized I was ready to let go of everything and pursue my calling. I was in a meeting with my peers and our newly-appointed general manager. The true purpose of the meeting was lost as a discussion about the future of our sales force suddenly took a nose dive, becoming a mosh pit of ruthless judgments. The experience was awful. I lost my cool while being interrogated by someone with absolutely zero knowledge of sales management and even less compassion for our tenured sales staff. I was trapped in the no-win game of arrogance and corporate garbage, and I experienced a complete emotional meltdown.

At that moment I completely shut down; I looked out the conference room window. Blazing across the sky was an intense, perfect rainbow. I was the only person in the room with this spectacular view, and in that instant, I knew I had to get out of the company to save my soul.

Another sure sign of impending change is the feeling that you must make a difference in the world. The paycheck and the benefits are no longer enough. For me, a major turning point was the realization that selling television commercials does absolutely nothing meaningful for the world. Advertisers spend stacks of cash to promote products like Viagra and Lipitor so the general public can get an erection and eat more cheeseburgers.

Wow!

This wasn’t an easy truth to swallow: I had invested much of my life in the television advertising business, and I loved the game – until I didn’t anymore.

Hey, people change.

In fact, we are all changing every day: evolving, growing, and learning; researching, soul searching, and witnessing our lives. But these are small changes, accomplished over time. If you want to make a big change, begin by focusing on your current scenario. Where are you right now in relation to where you want to be? When your life is more miserable than happy because you no longer fit into the confines of your career, it’s time to a) get a new job, or b) become an entrepreneur.

My internal transition lasted for almost one year. Before I was ready to move forward, I had to have several deep and lengthy conversations with my husband, move around investments, secure a line of credit, negotiate a healthy severance package, and buy a new car. Admittedly, this part of the planning process was uncomfortable for a fly-by-the-seat-of-your-pants woman who’d never thought about money, but I’m glad I went through it. Once those things were out of the way, it freed me up to flesh out the other aspects of my business plan. It’s difficult to dream big if you’re worried about where the groceries are going to come from next week!

In the beginning, my inner critic would berate me with statements like: “How could you walk away from eighteen years of sales and leadership success to do this? Reinventing yourself is a waste of time.” When I heard that voice I would do my best to think, “Nonsense! Cancel! Clear!”

Fear is the biggest saboteur of your auspicious goal to reinvent yourself. Fear can take hold of you and cling like an evil shadow until you decide to take action. The voices in your head that mutter things like, “I can’t,” “I’m afraid,” “I’ll let somebody down,” “I’m not good enough,” or “Don’t quit your day job!” represent pesky negative programming that must be undone. If you don’t address it, you will continue to play on a fear-breeding mental merry-go-round.

When undertaking my own transition, my biggest fear was losing everything I’d created over a lifetime serving the television industry. I had power, money, an exquisite lifestyle and lots of material wealth. How could I chuck the stability to follow my dream? I struggled with severe self-doubt. Was I a fraud? Could I really go it alone?

After thoughtful consideration and soulful conversations with loved ones, moving toward my dreams became my ONLY option. Transformational coaching, writing, voice work and yoga have become the stones that pave my way. Learning to honor my natural rhythm, explore new interests, and inspire others is hugely rewarding.

The process of uncovering your calling and learning to trust in yourself, your passion, and the Universe is like riding a wave of pure, unbridled joy. When the wave crests, you’re suddenly on top of the world – but you might also find a wash of peacefulness tugging at the corner of your lips, the promise of a smile.

Do you have the courage to face your fears and surrender to your true calling?

Falling Forward In Divine Timing

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Stacey MK

How many times have you Divinely been given a dream, a desire, or been shown a specific task to accomplish, but you didn’t even know where to begin? Or, you took a step towards a desired goal and achieving your vision and encountered countless obstacles, delays and detours that left you questioning what you were thinking?

As a sixth sensory being, we know that our best experiences and relationships and the road to achieving our dreams can be had by following our intuition and the promptings of our heart, regardless of whether we completely agree with it or are even consciously aware of where we are headed at that moment.

We have faith in our Higher Self, our Guides and our Angels who are guiding us along and illuminating our path on our journey. We trust in the Divine timing for the highest good of all involved, and we genuinely believe that no matter what, the Universe has our back.

It may not be until that one moment when the initial inspiration or task at hand has actually morphed into several major projects – whether it’s been several days, weeks, months or years – and you are taking those necessary steps that you realize you have completed an important portion of your ultimate vision. Divine inspiration is not always a step-by-step method to get you through a specific project but rather the complete unfolding process to achieving your grandest vision and dream.

Sometimes when we take a few simplistic steps to complete a singular project, and it becomes total frustration and fragments into many other segments over an extended period of time, that’s when you can see why the obstacles and the additional projects were necessary to encounter in order to complete the whole of the vision and to fulfill your purpose within its design.

Many times people think when something is Divinely inspired there will be no obstacles or delays, when in fact the opposite can be true. It’s called Falling Forward in Divine Timing. There are times during the process when you need to learn and grow or the other people you are meant to connect and collaborate with need to learn and grow and ultimately be ready and in position for the undertaking of their part in the vision as a whole.

When you feel the burning desire and passion in your heart to move forward regardless of what you are seeing around you, keep falling forward because the inspired idea is most likely a grand vision and one you’ll feel so blessed and honored to be a part of with Divine timing.

Life Lessons In Disguise

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When things are going well, it is easy to remain optimistic. We need only look around to observe the good in our lives. The challenge is remaining positive during difficult times, finding meaning in life’s obstacles. When we are faced with hardships, it is easy to become overwhelmed and question, “Why me?” or “What have I done to deserve this?” But what if there is something valuable to be gained in these challenging times? What if hardships provide us with invaluable lessons that make us stronger, wiser, and enable us to grow emotionally and spiritually? Often, perceived mistakes become our biggest blessings and a difficult situation our greatest opportunity for growth.

The question then becomes, “How do I keep the faith during challenging times?” “How do I trust that perceived mistakes can be blessings in disguise?” An important first step is believing there is a greater order and purpose to life than we see in the present moment, having faith in a higher power, and trusting that the universe or God can help us make peace with difficult times. Believing there is an ebb and flow to life can help us appreciate the “good” and the “bad” and see the value in both. A second step we can take is practicing self-care. When we are feeling down, we often turn to comfort foods and neglect our workout program when this is precisely the time we would benefit the most from looking after ourselves. Make sure you are getting adequate rest and exercise and eating a healthy diet; your body needs the extra care and love. Lastly, adopting a mindset of gratitude can be transformative. It shifts our focus from what has gone wrong to everything that is going right. If we expand our definition of gratitude, we may find ourselves becoming grateful for life’s challenges.

If you are able to keep the faith during difficult times, you will be able to look back on your life and appreciate the lessons, and even the many blessings, that are present in all your experiences. Perhaps losing your job encouraged you to start your own business and pursue what you are passionate about. The loss of a relationship led you to look within and learn more about yourself and what you want from life. The death of a loved one led you to explore your spiritual beliefs and come to an understanding that we are more than our physical bodies.
In order to receive these important life lessons, we must be open-minded, not get so wrapped up in our current situation that we fail to see the possibilities that surround us, challenge our definition of what it means to live a meaningful life, and understand that within every experience there is a life transforming lesson we can choose to receive.

Shedding Old Clothes

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Fotolia_34553939_Subscription_Monthly_MI remember when I was in fifth grade.  One day before lunch ended, I opened the door to my classroom and found that the room was empty.  I was surprised.  This was the first time ever that I was in the room by myself.  With nobody else around, it was pleasantly calm and quiet.

I walked over to my teacher’s desk and took a good look.  After all, it was the only place in the entire room I hadn’t really had the opportunity to inspect, until now.  I looked inside the drawer and found her grade book.  It was right on top.  I opened it where it was paper clipped and saw all of our names with the lineup of test grades next to them.  I looked for my name, and saw my grades, A, A-, B+, A+, A-, A … For a test we had taken just the day before, I saw, “B-“ next to my name.  B minus?  What???  That wouldn’t do.

I quickly looked for a pencil on her desk.  My mind raced.  “Would I erase it?  Would I cross it out?  No, that would be too obvious.”  I decided to put a tiny mark on it to change the minus sign to a plus sign.  It now read “B+.”  My face was hot and my body was tingling as I quickly put the book away.  I never got caught for that, nor did I confess, but it didn’t matter.  I was on edge about it for a long time.  I tortured myself about being stupid, being a liar and a fake, and, therefore, non-deserving of anything good in life, ever.

For decades I hid my dark and troubled spots. I was extremely hard on myself. I was a pro at chastising myself, which almost landed me in my grave.  Do you remember the character “Pig-Pen” from the Charlie Brown comic strip?  That was me: pretending that everything was okay and normal even though there was soot all around me.

In my healing journey, rather than beat myself up, I flipped a switch by honoring what I did to survive.  I came to understand that by pretending my non-preferred experiences and my responses to them didn’t exist, I kept them firmly in place.  I learned that by honoring what happened and describing my experiences without judging them allowed me to transform then release them.

To Clean = to rid of impurities; to purify.

When it came to changing that grade way back when, I came to understand that by getting good grades, I received praise and love I didn’t feel otherwise.  I also felt that if my performance slipped, I wouldn’t receive praise and love.  I doubt that my parents would have withheld their love, yet at the time I couldn’t risk even the thought of getting negative attention because I couldn’t face the humiliation.

I also came to understand that my perfectionist nature (which I’d be willing to bet I was born with) went into overdrive once I was sexually violated as a little girl.  And finally, I understood that my constant self-chastising represented my fervent desire to be a good person.

In contemplating the glorious cycles of nature, springtime pulsates with the idea of renewal – of making a fresh start.  When it comes to spring cleaning, I love the idea of ridding my closet of old clothes.  The old clothes I speak of are not those I wear.  For me it’s more about transforming non-preferred experiences so that I can shed old thoughts and ideas that no longer serve me, therefore creating space for the new and wonderful stuff I desire.

By stripping away the action itself (changing the grade) and seeking out the positive wish underneath (the desire for praise and love), I purified that experience.  I was able to give my fifth grader what she so desperately needed – praise and love.

Here is the formula I use for shedding old clothes.  Ask yourself:

What happened?  What did you do or say that was non-preferred?  What was your positive wish underneath your original response? It will typically be that you wanted understanding, acknowledgement, and/or love.

Now, replay the event in your mind, but instead, act or respond in a way that gives you the understanding you seek.  If the event involved someone else, imagine the other person giving you what you are asking for (in the form of your positive wish).  See and feel yourself receiving the understanding, acknowledgement, and/or love that you needed at the time.

Be creative. Understand that your subconscious mind doesn’t know whether something is occurring physically or virtually, the feeling is what it records.  As you replace the old hurts with acknowledgment, understanding and love, you allow them to transform, thus lovingly shedding your old clothes to don new ones.

Experiences will continue to emerge from the shadows to receive light and transformation, and you will know how to do it.  You have the ability to appreciate each moment rather than thinking that you need to fix everything in order to be deserving.  May you come to understand that you are lovable anyway; that you are free to heal, to laugh, to love, and to express yourself, soot and all.

 

 

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