A safe harbor where beliefs are respected and kindness prevails.

Riding the Waves of Pain

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You’re going along on an even keel and something comes over you like a stabbing knife to the heart.  You lose you breath, fall to the ground (or the closest chair), and the tears just flow.  There is no way to stop the pain. Do you know the feeling?

From the time Jack was diagnosed until now my days and nights have been filled with those waves.  The fear of losing him has been overwhelming these last few years.  Then the last few weeks of his life was the calm before the storm because my only focus was on helping him.  There was little time to think about my pain… I just wanted to prevent his pain.  Then when he died the waves turned into a tsunami and there was nothing I could do.  I was consumed with my grief… and of course who wouldn’t be.

I’d like to say the worst is over and to a certain degree that is true.  I can go through my day to day life and from outward appearances I’m doing pretty good.  Even I think I’m doing better than I thought I would be.  The truth is life goes on and we have to.

Yet in the moments of silence, walking into an empty house, driving or sitting alone in the bedroom we shared, a sneaker wave will crash down on my head and I curl up in a ball and just cry.  (OK I don’t do that when I’m driving…)

There is no fighting these strong emotions when they hit us.  Resisting them in an effort to “buck up” and be strong does nothing but cause them to build up and back up.  And that just makes the next time that much worse.  Let them flow.  Let the waves crash over you and if you don’t resist them they will move off and dissipate.  I’ve tried resisting and I’ve not resisted.  This is the time when doing nothing is better than doing anything.   Let it happen.

By allowing your true emotions to flow you are honoring yourself.  This IS how you feel.  Give yourself the chance to heal by letting go of the need to contain your emotions.  Nothing is gained by a festering wound.  And above all respect yourself by acknowledging what you’re going through is a human experience and you are after all… human.

When you let it all happen and come out the other side of the wave of pain, stop, and acknowledge you did come through it.  Take inventory of yourself and realize you’re OK.   It from this new place that you’ll come to appreciate your own resilience.  Life gave you the worst it has to offer and you’re still standing. Celebrate that!  We have to take our success where we can get them right and when you’re on the other side of your worst nightmare give thanks for the dawn.

With love, Cheryl

The Slolution

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Young woman in dress looking out the windowI have no idea what ever possessed me to type “Slolution.”  It’s obviously not a real word but something called me to write it.  Even though I don’t know why I wrote it I do know exactly what it means.

The simple definition for “Slolution” is….  Slow Solutions.  The act of figuring out what is next in your life without the stress of having to know the answer right now.   In the past I would have moved very quickly to figure out a solution.  It may have not been the best in the end but I took action!  Unfortunately those moving too fast decisions weren’t always the best… or the lasting ones.

Lately my need for instant results or gratification is gone.  When we go through the worst life has to offer we really don’t care much about the stuff we use to obsess over.  For me if there needed to be an answer I was going to find it and find it fast.  Now it’s more along the lines of … “If it happens, it happens.”  It’s not that I don’t care I just have a very different perspective since Jack died.

The “slolution” for me means that I don’t have to be in charge and I don’t have to think it’s my responsibility to control an outcome.    I don’t have all the answers for life’s questions.  They’ll come in time… slowly… and they will solve my problems if I let them.

If we just give up the need to control the outcome and allow the solution to come to us in its own good time we’ll know when it’s right.  But in the meantime we can forget the churn of trying to know it all and know it all now.

That for me is worth more than having the answer now. I’ve had enough stress in my life… Haven’t you?  Are you willing to take it slow (er?)  Join me!

With love, Cheryl

Walking Your Talk

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dave_001-You’ve heard this before, haven’t you? Walk your talk!

At first, we take this to mean that what you tell others to do you must be doing yourself. This is an important part of living a healthy and happy lifestyle.

It is also important because want to make an impact with others in everything we do. We want to set an example, and demonstrate the results of our efforts.

My mentor, Paul Chek, often says that you can only teach to your level of personal mastery

Far too often we fall prey to others who promise a wonderful path of results if you only follow their guidance. Yet, these same people fail to follow their own program, and cannot show proof of the results in their own lives.

We want to work with people who have done it themselves, and are living the life they are offering.

This makes perfect sense. We go to doctors and surgeons who are in the top of their field. We trust them because they have successfully accomplished results in their procedures.

We put our financial wellbeing in the hands of financial advisors who have proven they successfully manage their own portfolios.

What about you? Are you walking your talk? You may say, “Well I don’t have a career in which I ask people to follow my advice.” That may be true, but let’s look deeper into how you are walking your talk. Whether you realize it or not, it affects the results in your life.

The deeper awareness of walking your talk has to do with what you believe about yourself. It is these beliefs that create the results in your life.

These beliefs are your inner “talk.” They lay deep within your subconscious, and they are the auto-pilot of your life. They are also the filter through which you experience your life.

Your inner voice is always talking to you, and it directs your thoughts, feelings and actions. Because of this, you are always walking your talk in some manner, be it in a positive or a negative way.

There is a bigger question that comes to mind as you consider your inner talk. You must ask yourself if you have a belief system that is giving you what you truly desire in life.

If you are unsatisfied or unhappy with the results in your life, then the best action to take is to change the source of your inner talk.

If you ever want to know what someone’s inner talk is, all you have to do is look at their life and how they act. Everything about each person is a direct expression of that inner talk. Our lives, and how we live them, give us away.

If you want to improve your health and fitness, you must create a new vision of what it means to be healthy and fit. This will become your new and improved talk within your subconscious. Once it is fixed in your brain, you will consistently begin to think, feel, and act in accordance with your new talk. You will walk the talk of this new vision of yourself.

Do you desire greater health and wellness for your life? If you truly wish to start living your life to its fullest and healthiest, then it’s time to create a new talk and to start walking it.

This is a very exciting step, and I would love to help you with it.

Here is a complimentary webinar that will help you get started.

Go to www.holistichealth-fitness.com and click on the link in the bottom left hand corner for the 6 components to health and wellness.

I wish for you all a Vibrant Life.

Dave

Attitude – A Matter Of Choice!

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Attitude

Attitude is a small thing that makes a big difference! – Winston Churchill

Several years ago my husband gave me a beautiful gift: a decorative jar filled with 365 tiny sheets of paper. Each piece had a question. Some questions were deep, others were simple. A year later, I returned the gift in the form of a book titled, “The Blisstory Journal” and offered him many of those same questions to answer.

One of my favorite questions in the book is: “How do you describe your attitude?”

Most of you know by now, my attitude is pretty darn “blissful”, hence the title, “The Bliss Lady”. I remain connected to my inner state of joy quite easily. I’m not perfect at it by any means. In fact, my husband and daughter will testify to that.

Although I do have my moments, it’s how I pull myself out of that spiral that counts! (Notice the word “moments”.) For me it’s simply a matter of choice. I get to choose how I will act or react to whatever crosses my path. Guess what – so do you! We all have a choice, no matter what the circumstance.

As I grow older, witnessing our children blossom into adulthood, I see more than ever the importance of having a grounded attitude. It becomes more important than your education, your income level, and your past perceived failures; certainly more important than what people think of you.

Every minute of every day we are offered a choice regarding what we will do with our attitude. I’ve heard it said that life is 10 percent what happens to you and 90 percent how you react to it. I say, “Life is what happens FOR me and how I react to it is what matters.” Sometimes I need a boost.

Simple attitude boosters

  1. Deep Breathing – Before you react to anything take three slow deep breaths. Of all the tools I’ve learned over the years deep breathing has been the most helpful to me in keeping my “attitude” in check. When I’m feeling extremely reactive I include #2.
  2. Count to 10 – You’ve probably heard that before. Counting aids as a distractor from whatever it is that’s pushing your button with the element of time. The higher you count the less likely you are to react strongly.
  3. Surround yourself in love – When you feel that your attitude is less than joyful take a minute to close your eyes and see yourself surrounded, fully enveloped in the light of love, as if you are receiving a soft, gentle hug.

When it comes to attitude, you always have a choice. So….How do you describe your attitude?

P.S. Click HERE to visit my website to receive a free copy of The Blisstory Journal!

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