A safe harbor where beliefs are respected and kindness prevails.

Getting Back to YOU

by

Fotolia_68623817_Subscription_Monthly_MWith the New Year coming, many of us find ourselves in a state of reflection and evaluation. We reflect back on the past year’s joys and pains. We often set new goals for ourselves and set out to achieve great miraculous things in the upcoming new twelve months laid out before us.

Why is it that every New Year we come up with a new, or sometimes even repeated, list of what we feel we are not, yet long to be? There seems to be something cyclical in our nature. We find that the turning over of the calendar calls to our soul to reevaluate ourselves. We vow to make a fresh start, vastly improving on the “you” that existed pre-January? We vow to eat better, exercise more, pray more, meditate more, complain less, and stress less. So many things we want to do and be. So many things we long for. Many times we think achieving this list will finally make us happy once and for all.

I have a different philosophy on the upcoming New Year’s resolutions that you may be considering. Reflect on this a bit before you devote yourself to a full-fledged overhaul of all that you are.

What if, instead of feeling like we need to revamp the whole package, we focused on ways to broaden our core gifts?

We all have unique gifts we bring to the world. I believe we have been designed to be a unique combination of quirks, talents, jagged edges and soft tenderness that enable us to be exactly what this world needs right now, right here. So while we may wish we were thinner, kinder, healthier or more fiscally responsible … what are you to this world already, right now? What are your great gifts that you naturally exude, and how can you use those to shine a light that surrounds you?

Self-improvement is a worthwhile endeavor, something to help lead us to be better people. But let’s not sidestep or minimize what we naturally are at the fiber of our being. Maybe the way to improve our lives is to delve more deeply into the core of who we are instead of wishing to be something different.

We spend a lot of our time viewing and envying the light of others. We wish for longer legs, a happier outlook, a better job, a better relationship. What if their light is not our color? Do not ignore the shade of light that only you bring. What is the color of your special unique light and how can you better carry that out into the world?

Maybe you have endured an abusive or painful relationship? Instead of shunning that in shame and secrecy, ask what glory can be brought by your trials? How can that part of who you are bring light into the world?

Maybe you lost your job this year or, god forbid, your partner? You are suddenly in a unique position to have a void to fill? What can you best do with that void? Where does the world need your special unique set of talents, ability to love and the spirit in your soul that you shine?

Are you wonderful with children, but yours are gone? How can the core of you be used to better this wonderful world we live in? How can you connect more light in people through the joy only you can bring into lives?

Instead of feeling the arrival of the New Year as a call to reform and reshape all that you are, maybe this year recognize it as a chance to celebrate and deepen all that you already are. You were designed to be you for a very special purpose. I encourage you to embrace and share that role more deeply than ever before with the world.

Visit The Airport Without A Ticket

by

Fotolia_69335641_Subscription_Monthly_M

Are you worried you could be a workaholic? A junkie for the rush of what accomplishment feels like? Just trying to get that one next raise or promotion to put you ahead? Or maybe just holding on for dear life at keeping the job you have when so many people are still looking for one? Do you feel like it is sucking the life out of your very being? Maybe you want to change, know you should change, but don’t really know where to begin. It can be difficult once you’ve worked your way into a certain role at a company. It can feel like you can’t change the rules now because certain people expect certain things from you and you want to meet all their expectations. You want and need to retain your status as a very hard worker for your security, and maybe even your self esteem.

Here’s the truth though: it’s a vicious never-ending cycle. The best performers are given the majority of the work.  They accomplish that work because they are driven and competent. So what happens? They are given even more work. You will never catch up. That taunting voice that repeats over and over again “If you just come in and work on the weekend again or just work nights for this week again you will finally catch up” is lying to you.

 There is no such thing as getting caught up for good. The items you cross off your list will create space for new items to fill in. The only way to claim the time you need to be healthy and whole is to take action and set your own boundaries. Only you can set the boundaries for what you will and won’t tolerate in your life and how much time you will devote to work. Your work has to be integrated with more important things like family, friends, self, and room for your soul to breathe. If you want to feel inspired, alive, and energized, you have to give yourself space to feel something, anything at all. You can’t feel anything resonate with you if you are numb, running from place to place, and focused on only one thing as though you are playing the arcade version of the Whack-a-Mole game.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m all for a great work ethic. I am of a generation and area of the country where a very high value is placed on work ethic. You do have to work hard to succeed in life, there are no handouts, and teamwork is a form of loyalty lived out loud. But you need to ask yourself “What am I working for? What is the purpose of this?” Are you working for a paycheck and superficial empty recognition that quickly fades for you? Or does your work actually bring you true inner joy? And is this work the legacy you want to leave behind as your footprint?

If you’re questioning whether or not you are placing too much emphasis on work and not enough on your true life joys such as your relationships, I ask you to do one simple exercise. It may bring home a new perspective.

I am a huge believer that all the lessons we need to become the person we are destined to be are around us every day, dancing around us, practically shouting at us, ”Stop and notice me!” “You’re making this harder than it has to be!” as we hustle around and bust our butts doing “life.” All we have to do is slow down, open up, and the universe will step in to reveal what it is we need to grow, right now, right here, if we are willing to receive it.

Here is your assignment. Drive to your local airport.  Park in the ramp.  Leave your phone in the car. Enter the airport. Grab a cup of coffee, smoothie or soda … whatever. Make your way to the waiting area for unticketed passengers. The area where families wait for loved ones, where children and wives greet soldiers, where grandparents greet grand babies, where old college friends reunite. The area of Welcome Home signs and flowers, hugs and tears, and a few squeals of sheer joy. Have a seat and simply people watch for however much time you have to give this. Take your time and let the scenes speak to you. Watch the anticipation before the reunion. Watch those waiting. Watch the emotions and hugs pour out of all these strangers around you. Watch them walk off arm-in-arm to go enjoy each other. Feel the atmosphere of real emotion, joy, and a drop in their stress and anxiety. This is not just a lesson for your brain to process, but for your heart and soul to feel the weight of. Don’t just imagine this scene; give this experience to yourself; actually do it, feel it. For an hour’s worth of your time, let the world speak to you.

For me, when I watch these reunions, it quickly snaps me to the attention of what is really important and where I want to spend time and energy in my life. It reminds me of what brings me joy and what I wish my footprint to be. Yes, we all need income to provide for our families, and jobs are very important, but at what cost? Make sure you’re not paying more than it’s worth to you in the end because we can’t go back. Ask yourself if there is a different way to put the important stuff at the priority level that really feels right for you. What can you do differently today to set new boundaries? Starting today, take a small step to make the footprint of your life what you want it to be.

I hope you take this small leap and give yourself the gift of this experience. I hope it has an impact on you and brings you some unexpected perspective.

30,000 Feet of Perspective

by

Fotolia_29594769_Subscription_XLIt had been a lovely Mother’s Day.  The May weather was gorgeous sunny and yet still cool enough to enjoy.  A promising reminder that Spring is finally here.  I had enjoyed church with my family and then a delicious brunch buffet in our small rural Iowa town.  The only problem was it was too short. I had to excuse myself from brunch early to catch a flight.  On the long drive to the airport I was muttering under my breath about what a royal jerk that man is to schedule our conference that we were literally required to fly in the Sunday night of Mother’s Day.  Who does that?  Doesn’t he have a mother?  I was upset for me and my boys to have the special day cut short and to give up special Sunday time for my job.

To top it all off it was a stormy night predicted.  I am not a huge fan of flying. The flight from Chicago to DC started off smoothly, but as we drew closer to DC the lightning started and the wind began throwing the small plane around.  We experienced quite a few ‘joy stick’ drops where it feels like the pilot jerked the control stick down sharply on purpose as we fall what must be thousands of feet through an air pocket. To this day it is still probably the scariest flight I have ever been on.  As the weather intensifies every person around me seems to have a different reaction. Some seem attempting to ignore it, a few people appear to be reading although I can’t imagine how with all those bumps.  A mom holding her child on her lap, an attempt to soothe herself it appears as much as to calm the little boy.

From directly behind me I start to hear sobbing out loud from a woman.  She is sobbing loudly and reciting the Our Father prayer at the same time.  Just over and over, sobbing and repeating the prayer.  Well, I guess maybe I should be more scared than I am at this point! This is visibly upsetting to those around us that can hear her fear shared right out loud.  I silently wish she would stop that.  It is certainly not helping the situation. It is adding to the atmosphere of fear, making it all seem more surreal and as if something bad really is about to happen.  As I feel my own tension rise wondering if it is worse than I think, the large air drops continue as the weather throws us around. As I wonder if we might not make it I hear something quite unexpected break the thick tension.

“Wheee!!!!!  Whooo Hoooo!!!!!   Wheeee!!!!! Do it again!!!!” from a little girl voice.

This is followed by her mom saying “Sush….be quiet darling, people are uneasy honey.”

“Wheee!!!!!  Whooo Hoooo!!!!!   Wheeee!!!!! Do it again!!!! she repeats, doing as little girls will do, ignoring their parents.

I can’t help myself but laugh right straight out loud.

How beautiful a lesson here before us.  We’ve got one woman trying to pray her way out of a certain early death and one row over in the same exact set of circumstances is a child showing complete and utter joy that she literally cannot bear to contain.  She is enjoying the thrilling ride of her life that she doesn’t want to ever stop. Two different people. Same exact circumstances. What a perfect example of how much your perspective matters. Yes, the little girl is absent of the wise adult knowledge of knowing how bad the result could be. But what good does that knowledge do us if we use for negativity? Both the woman and the little girl are going to have contact with other people once they exit the plane. Which one will spread joy and bring smiles? Which one will bring dread and fear?  Both are affecting others on the plane right now in two very opposite ways.

Makes me think about my own perspective. Am I a woman who had her Mother’s Day unfairly cut short or am I simply a very blessed woman to have the opportunity to even be a mother and spend time with those I love most? Am I a woman robbed of my Sunday by some crappy job requirement, or am I a woman proud and happy of my career that has blessed me and my family with many opportunities? Am I going to spread negativity or joy?

What is your perspective doing to you and those around you?  If you are experiencing negativity and blaming your circumstances take another look. Is the filter you are viewing through flawed? How could you look at the situation differently to use it to bring more grace and love to yourself and others?

We can complain because rose bushes have thorns, or rejoice because thorn bushes have roses.  ~Abraham Lincoln

 

 

 

Feedback