A safe harbor where beliefs are respected and kindness prevails.

What’s Your Love Language?

by

shadow love JawDroppingPhotography

The other day I had a conversation with a client who mentioned that the woman he was dating didn’t really even know how to be a good friend, let alone a date. It got me thinking about the “5 Languages of Love” by Gary Chapman.

Chapman based his work on his own longtime relationship with his wife and over 30 years of counseling. He suggests that we fall into one of 5 areas when it comes to how we express emotional love saying, “Each person has a primary love language that we must learn to speak if we want that person to feel loved.” (You can take a short quiz to find out yours at http://www.5lovelanguages.com/)

I shared with my friend that I thought many people today would benefit from taking a look at the 5 basic ways not just as a lover, but as a friend. Wouldn’t it be wonderful if your friend took the time needed to recognize, or was present to, the particular way you liked to be treated, your own love language.

The five basic ways are:

  1. Words of Affirmation – Simply put, if this is your language you like to be told often how much someone loves you, why they love you. You like compliments and words of appreciation.
  2. Gifts – If this is your language you love to receive thoughtful gifts, gifts from the heart. They don’t have to be expensive, they simply need to express how much you were thought of, how much you are cared for.
  3. Acts of Service – You love it when your partner, spouse (or friend) pitches in to help with the dishes, takes the trash out or does your laundry. Anything he/she does to lighten your load is going to make you gaga for them over and over again.
  4. Quality Time – Nothing is more important to you than spending quality time with your friend/lover if this is your language. You look forward to turning the T.V. off, sitting with a cup of tea and sharing a few moments connecting deeply.
  5. Physical Touch – A person whose primary language is Physical Touch thrives on a gentle touch, a warm hug, a pat on the back, and holding hands. Whether it’s a friend or lover, what they crave is physical presence.

Each and every one of us has a particular way we like to be treated that may differ from our partner or friends. It might not be easy, at first, to speak your friend or lovers language, especially if it differs from yours. It makes sense to take the time to understand what sparks the people in your life so you can help them feel more loved. Isn’t that really what we are here for?

Attitude – A Matter Of Choice!

by

Attitude

Attitude is a small thing that makes a big difference! – Winston Churchill

Several years ago my husband gave me a beautiful gift: a decorative jar filled with 365 tiny sheets of paper. Each piece had a question. Some questions were deep, others were simple. A year later, I returned the gift in the form of a book titled, “The Blisstory Journal” and offered him many of those same questions to answer.

One of my favorite questions in the book is: “How do you describe your attitude?”

Most of you know by now, my attitude is pretty darn “blissful”, hence the title, “The Bliss Lady”. I remain connected to my inner state of joy quite easily. I’m not perfect at it by any means. In fact, my husband and daughter will testify to that.

Although I do have my moments, it’s how I pull myself out of that spiral that counts! (Notice the word “moments”.) For me it’s simply a matter of choice. I get to choose how I will act or react to whatever crosses my path. Guess what – so do you! We all have a choice, no matter what the circumstance.

As I grow older, witnessing our children blossom into adulthood, I see more than ever the importance of having a grounded attitude. It becomes more important than your education, your income level, and your past perceived failures; certainly more important than what people think of you.

Every minute of every day we are offered a choice regarding what we will do with our attitude. I’ve heard it said that life is 10 percent what happens to you and 90 percent how you react to it. I say, “Life is what happens FOR me and how I react to it is what matters.” Sometimes I need a boost.

Simple attitude boosters

  1. Deep Breathing – Before you react to anything take three slow deep breaths. Of all the tools I’ve learned over the years deep breathing has been the most helpful to me in keeping my “attitude” in check. When I’m feeling extremely reactive I include #2.
  2. Count to 10 – You’ve probably heard that before. Counting aids as a distractor from whatever it is that’s pushing your button with the element of time. The higher you count the less likely you are to react strongly.
  3. Surround yourself in love – When you feel that your attitude is less than joyful take a minute to close your eyes and see yourself surrounded, fully enveloped in the light of love, as if you are receiving a soft, gentle hug.

When it comes to attitude, you always have a choice. So….How do you describe your attitude?

P.S. Click HERE to visit my website to receive a free copy of The Blisstory Journal!

The Universe Was Late Today

by

Fotolia_63703584_Subscription_Monthly_MEvery week day morning I receive this really cool personalized email from The Universe – a.k.a. Mike Dooley’s Notes from the Universe (TUT.com). Literally thousands of people around the world get the same email personalized for them, of course.

The first time I received one was over four years ago. Unbeknownst to me one of my friends added my email address to the TUT list. When I opened that first one, I was just a little freaked out. (Am I the only one that still says freaked out?) Seriously, I thought I had a stalker because that first message was so completely in tune with what was happening in my life. I had to stop what I was doing and show my husband, who also thought I had a stalker. It took three days of receiving those personalized emails before I realized it was an inspirational daily message.

Fast forward to today and it’s still one of the highlights of my email experience. In fact some days it’s the only email I will open because the message is so empowering; some days it’s exactly what I needed to move me from down to up or from ok to awesome

Today – The Universe was late! Yes, that special personalized email was not in my email box when I opened it.

At first I felt a bit disappointed, once again sharing a TUT experience with my husband, hoping that they didn’t stop the weekday posts. (I wish they would post every day, not just Monday through Friday.) Then I thought to myself, “Now what?”

Yes, even I, The Bliss Lady, can get into a funk. Don’t we all? It’s part of the human experience. Over the years I have learned to keep those funks contained to moments instead of hours, days or weeks.   I have an array of resources at my disposal for lifting my mood. In fact, I surround myself with objects and people who inspire, uplift and motivate me. It’s essential to my overall wellbeing.

So what do I do when the Universe is late? You may find me resorting to anyone of these for a boost:

BlissnessPlan.com (of course)
SimpleStepsRealChangeMagazine.com (of course)
Empoweradio.com (of course)
DailyOm.com
Ted.com
ZenHabits.com
HealYourLife.com
SethGodin.com
Chopra.com
TinyBuddha.com
MindBodyGreen.com

These are just a handful of places I visit on the web for inspiration. Mainly, I start my day with a gratitude blessing, radiating love and light to every being in the Cosmo’s past, present and future. It’s the simple things that turn my downs to ups.

When that Note was late I read an old one. Here’s one of my favorites – can you guess why?

Teri, no matter what your faith is, or is not, no matter where in the world you are, I want you to know, even as you read these words, I’m with you. Behind the eyes of every child, and in the melody of every song. I’m the glimmer in the ice crystals, the rays in the sun, and the stars at night. And with each smile you see, every hug you receive and every laugh you hear, I’ll be there, reaching out through another, with blessing and good wishes…… And all of this because I love you, because I’ve always loved you, and because I always will. And because this has been true, and will be true, every day of your life, holidays or not.

Tally-ho, ho, ho –

   The Universe

P.S.

Happy everything to you Teri, to your family, and to every single wonderful, radiant Being in your shimmering, enlightened sphere.

What do you do when your life cycles downward? Share a few Blissings, I hope!

For additional resources or to work with Teri visit SoulcialLiving.com or TeriGriffinWilliams.com.

What I Learned When the Lights Went Out

by

(and my dogs)

When the lights go out - Soulcial Living

Weather wise, the last few weeks have been a little crazy here in the Midwest. We’ve had more rain and severe thunderstorms than we’ve had in years. (Kind of interesting after the crazy winter we had. That’s another article.)

These storms caused incredible damage from flooding, fallen trees and downed wires. Although we were blessed to avoid the tree and water damage, we did lose power for a few days. That seems like a nuisance compared to my mom and brother who lost all of the belongings in their basements and that same brother had a 125 year old tree land smack down on the middle of his roof causing the structure of his house to be stressed and compromised.

So what did I learn (or re-learn I must say) when the lights went out? A few simple things that we often take for granted.

  1. Always be prepared – By having at least a days’ worth of fresh coffee grounds and a French press ready. When the power’s out the last thing you want is to be without your morning cup of java! Water helps and so does food. We ate a lot of PBJ’s.
  2. You can live without electronics – I know you’re thinking WHAT? It’s true. If I can do it, anyone can. Instead of picking up my iPad, I picked up the book on my night table. Instead of jumping on Facebook I actually had heart-felt conversations with my mom and my husband. <3
  3. Be nice to your neighbors – That’s right! When it’s really dark out its good to know you can count on the people next door, especially when they have things that you don’t, like a generator.
  4. It’s just stuff – Having experienced the loss of most of my belongings in a devastating house fire, this one is a little easier for me to connect with than some people. The truth is, material things can be replaced and if they can’t, you’ll always have the memory. Because ….
  5. Friends and family are what really matter – (along with those great neighbors) who better to spend your time with then the people (and animals) you love most? Whether the lights are on or not doesn’t really matter.

As the hours turned into days I watched my dogs very closely. They were not phased one bit. As long as they had food, water, play time, a place to nap and were able to hang out with us, they were happy. Which reminded me that we always have a choice on how we are going to look at things, no matter how long the lights are out. Or, as my husband says, no matter how dark it gets you can choose light! Blissings!

 

 

Feedback